So ignoring convention here's my bottom 8 minus kids creds.
(8 being the most favourable and 1 being the downright worst)
8. Thirteen - Alton Towers - Honestly, I get its a family coaster, but come on, did it need to be trimmed to death? The only way to get a halfway decent ride on this thing and get some airtime on the outside section is to ride on the very back row. Anywhere else and it's just not worth the wait. Great family coasters don't need to be this dull.
7. The Big One - Blackpool Pleasure Beach - If there's one thing I have learnt over the years, it's that size isn't everything. The Big One is shockingly forceless after it's initial drop. Sure the first drop is pretty fun, but after that... well there's not much more to it after that. It does some lifeless hills and then drops into a tunnel. Oh and did I mention it's rough, yeah it's mega rough. All in all, it's pretty bad.
6. Jungle Coaster - Legoland Windsor - Don't get me wrong, for a family ride the Jungle Coaster was pretty much spot on. It's not exactly the most thrilling ride out there, but it was certainly enjoyable... or so I imagine it was. You see I had the unfortunate experience of only riding it with the scream shields on. Basically they added a plastic casing which enclosed you in the train and rattled around for the entirety of the layout... Why... Just why...
5. Kumali - Flamingo Land - So SLC's are a bit crap right? Well Kumali is the lesser of two evils when it comes to the two UK ones I have currently ridden. It's smoother (to a degree) but it's layout just lacks imagination. It's over way too soon, and has some of the worst operations I have ever seen on a coaster.
4. Infusion - Blackpool Pleasure Beach - Ever wanted to go for a couple of rounds in a ring with Mike Tyson? Well this is probably as close as you're likely to get. Just wow, the brutality of this ride is something else. It's sad because the layout is pretty great to be honest, and if it were smooth I would rate it very highly, but alas SLC's are just plain bad.
3. Colossus - Thorpe Park - Over the past couple of years, Colossus has got worse and worse. I honestly think it is now rougher than the SLC's I have ridden. Honestly, it's one of the only coasters I come off in actual pain (and that's coming from somebody who rates Nash at PBB as their top cred). Also add the monotonous and repetitive nature of it's finale and bam, you have one pretty poor coaster.
2. G-Force - Drayton Manor - I do appreciate the irony of the name G-Force, I really do. Sure you get a pop of airtime over the first hill (that is if you aren't being crushed by the god-awful restraints) but the rest of the ride lacks any sense of force or speed. There's literally nothing to it. It's got a wacky layout, but the only feeling you get is of the terrible restraints digging into your hips.
1. Hero - Flamingo Land - Wow. Just wow. I never knew coasters could be this bad. First, the layout is downright boring, there are no standout features and it meanders its way around from one uncomfortable maneuver to another. Then you have the trains... There's no doubt that these are the worst trains I have ever experienced. They are claustrophobic, uncomfortable and they don't even feel safe. It seemed to me like they were pretty much a ladder with some handlebars and a backrest. It just feels shoddily put together. I can see why it has virtually no queue most of the time, it's just that bad.