Day Three:
SeaWorld Universal Studios
Some days just don't go to plan. We arrived at SeaWorld, my favourite of the Florida parks, and pretty much everything was shut. No coasters. No food stalls. The only thing to do was the penguin exhibit. It was dire.
We were aware before flying out of some ride maintenance closures, like ROTM and Montu. SeaWorld didn't mention theirs though. Only once we walked in did we realise Manta and Journey To Atlantis were out of action. Mako and Kraken were also closed because it was a little bit rainy and windy. (Whilst Silver Star looked on and laughed as it ran throughout Europa Parks Christmas event)
I had planned on eating breakfast in the park, but we couldn't find a single food place open. Come on SeaWorld, I was trying to give you my money! The freestyle drinks machines were all switched off as well. With the weather forecast looking rubbish for the day, we abandoned SeaWorld and went to Universal Studios. Most of their rides are indoors. Weather proof! We are being smart, we thought...until we remembered it's a Saturday.
You can imagine the scene, I was hungry, annoyed and staring at an app watching queue times (rip ride) rocket up. The whole reason we planned SeaWorld for Saturday is because the park doesn't ever seem to draw big crowds, but instead we were going to have to spend hours queueing for simulator rides at Universal. Funny how this bothered me significantly less once I had stuffed my face with snacks
Hollywood Rip Ride Rocket was testing when we arrived and my ridey-sense was tingling.
We need to hang around the entrance because it will open soon, I predicted. But we also have a small window of opportunity to ride it, because I just checked the weather and the Sohne isn't shining til tomorrow.
10 minutes later we smuggly strolled down the exit ramp, safe in our knowledge that we were one of the very few people who got to ride H:RRR in the 20 minutes it operated for that day.
(Song choice, you ask? Motley Crue - Kickstart My Heart)
H:RRR is fun but dated. I can see why there's not Maurer these coasters around. They don't do anything particularly well, and if you took away the soundtrack the ride would be rather lacklustre.
Springfield, Springfield it's a hell of an ...area.
Everytime I come to Universal Studios, Springfield is where I spend the most time. (Remarkable given the ride is kinda rubbish)
But hey, if you're a Simpsons fan, it's kinda fitting that the ride isn't some dazzling showy spectacular. Because the endearing ordinaryness of The Simpsons is what makes them so appealing. The ride doesn't need to be good, just as The Simpsons characters don't need to be either. Also fitting, using a ride system thats glory days were in the 90s...just like the episodes. Simulators and Seasons 2 -6 have so much in common!
Okay, dear reader. We've hit a wall because I genuinely can't remember what we did after Springfield. I know it involved a long queue, a tedious pre-show and lots of screens. But that doesn't help, does it? It barely narrows it down at all!
In no particular order, here are the things we watched:
- The Bourne Stuntacular
- The Horror Make Up Show
- Spongebob Dance Party Parade
- Transformers: The Ride
- Fast and Furious: Supercharged
- Harry Potter and the Escape From Gringotts
Note my use of the word
watched. A common criticism of Universal Studios is the heavy use of screens in rides. But of course Universal uses screens - it's a movie based park! You can't "ride the movies" without watching them!
But therein lies the issue. When you ride a Universal ride, it feels as though you are watching it happen as opposed to experiencing it. It places riders in a passive situation, where stuff happens around you rather than to you.
But what's the solution? Animatronics? What makes an animatronic robot feel more real than an image on a screen? Do screen-based rides prevent immersion as we spend so much of our day to day life interacting with screens? Do screens feel too normal, too everyday to fulfill the intangible task of suspending our disbelief during a theme park ride? Why is the task of immersion so trustingly placed in the plastic arms of an animatronic?
Why does a screen always feel cheap (even when I know the animation alone in the Transformers scenes cost loads) and unconvincing?
It doesn't help that the narrative is always the same: good guys need the help of rookies to save the day against bad guys, congratulations you did it!
Wow, sounds like Sgt. Bash needs to get back in his zone! This isn't Alton Towers Berry Bish Bash! Maybe I'm being too harsh. Or maybe Universal Studios just isn't worth bothering with when Revenge of The Mummy is down. Not even the Medjai can save our day at Universal now...
So we did the sensible thing, single ridered Gringotts (Stand By queue: 2 hours - we waited 30 minutes in Single Rider and still ended up on the same train!) then went back to Islands of Adventure for night rides on VelociCoaster. A thing which ended up becoming quite the habit for the majority of the trip!
Thanks for reading installment three, I nearly veered off into Baudrillard Simulacra theory again when discussing screens - but then I remembered my Black Mirror Trip Report exists and decided to spare you. Just like Voldemort spared me on Gringotts. Just like the Decepticons spared me on Transformers. Just like Sideshow Bob spared me on The Simpsons. Just like International Crime Cartel spared me on Fast and Furious Supercharged. In a day full of saving the day, thanks VelociCoaster for actually saving the day - by not being a ride about saving the day!
I counted at least 10, hoping that at least one of them would miss the mark but unfortunately no pun in ten did. 
