How do you pronounce 'Rookburgh' anyway? Rook-ber? Rook-berg? Rook-bruh? Rook-burra? 
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Amazing fact: You can always see your own nose, but your brain filters it out.
Why did the chicken cross the Möbius loop? To get to the same side.
Life challenge: desperately trying NOT to look like a crazy person stockpiling as you do your normal weekly shop.
5 years on CoasterForce!
Where on Earth has that gone??
Google 'Thanos'. Click on the gauntlet. You're welcome.
Changed my FB profile pic. Terrorism defeated.
I have a Russian friend who's a sound technician. A Czech one too.
Got mugged by 6 dwarves last night. Not Happy.
Anyone planning on going to Phantasialand before Xmas? Need a favour...
I wonder if a squirrel ever thinks to itself; 'Man, I am so f***ing sick of nuts! What I wouldn't give for a grapefruit'.
If you love something, set it on fire. If it... wait, is that right? Sh*t! Be right back...
Happy birthday Madonna - looking great at 60. Still got the body of a man half her age.
That thing when roads have airtime hills, and you always drive that little bit faster than you should. We all do it
Outlaw Run is the tits. That is all.
'Murica! One month! Tick tock tick tock...
Have you been missold Pi? You could be owed £3.1415926.
Just saw Arnold Schwarzenegger in Tesco buying a load of chocolate eggs. I said to him, "Y'have to love Easter, baby".
What do you call a yeti with a six pack? The Abdominal Snowman.
Is it me, or does February feel like the 'Tuesday'' of the year? -
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