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Rank the Alton Towers coasters

Matt N

CF Legend
As I visited the park on Monday, in TRUE @Matt N style (sorry Matt, couldn’t resist) I’d like to post my latest rankings!!!

1) Nemesis
2) Galactica Air
3)….

Nope that’s it, not sure if I’ve mentioned this already (I definitely have!) but we only got on 2 coasters in 12 hours!!! 2 coasters!!!

Everything is broken!!! I honestly found it worse than ‘that’ BPB opening day!!! Much worse!
Oh my; was stuff really that broken? I thought that only Hex, Congo River Rapids and Smiler were shut currently?
 

Nicky Borrill

Giga Poster
Oh my; was stuff really that broken? I thought that only Hex, Congo River Rapids and Smiler were shut currently?

This really should be it’s own trip report, but you asked… So…

Galactica went down first whilst we were in the queue in the morning… First ride of the day… They got it back up and running, sent 3 or 4 trains then it went down again, though only briefly, and I think just to add a train!!! That cost us the first 2 hours!!!

Then nemesis went down whilst queuing… By the time we got on and off Nemesis it was gone 2pm… (though we did opt to wait for the front, no regrets, was a highlight.) Time for lunch and drinks!

After lunch, at 3:30 we had a dungeon booking, as some of the group hadn’t done it. This was thankfully another ‘no regrets’ highlight of the day, as it always is with a big group, and was fairly efficient, we were done by 4:30.

Our maze package was booked for 6:30 so we thought we’d sneak in another coaster… Oblivion had the shortest queue on the app, at 70 mins (there were several showing as down at this point too, I can’t remember which) so we headed there… of course it went down!!! Time was ticking away, and not wanting to mess up the mazes timing, given they had queues, and we had big plans for a wickerman night ride (more on that soon) we opted to leave oblivion and grab a drink whilst waiting!!!

Mazes took 1.5 hours!!! They were good, but we were sent back and forth… ‘this queue is a bit long, do you want to go and do ‘x’ first instead?’ No problem, probably saved us time… But gives you an idea!!!

So 8pm… Wickerman is on a 90 minute (85 actually, strangely) our minibus is booked to pick up at 10pm!!! Everything is going great… But I think you can guess what happened!!! Litterally as we were about to enter the queue, a staff member appeared. ‘Sorry Wickerman is experiencing a temporary delay!’ You couldn’t make it up!!! We waited until 8:40 to see if it would open, but we really couldn’t have joined a queue any later than that… Our driver would have been furious as he’d already warned us on the way up he was close to his hours on the taco!!!

Furious.

Then to top it off, we got to the minibus… Different driver… ‘he sent me as, this morning, you said you were joining a queue last thing, and he was close to his hours, so didn’t want to go over if you were late!’ FFS
 

EmmaUK

Roller Poster
Following on from Nicky, I went on Halloween and had a great day with the mazes and everything, although likewise had to cope with closures left right and centre including this at around 7.30pm, right in prime night ride territory

B5FE1BC6-904E-41DA-AC9F-1501471A46D6.png

Add to that that Galactica and Nemesis had down time as well and it was difficult where to decide to go in the drizzle for fear of wasting 45 minutes in a queue

Like Nicky I don't want to go into full trip report mode, so here's my top 10 (cue 1990s style TOTP music)

1. Nemesis. Still the King. The Beast. The Forces. The Helix. My only negative was that the back two rows were being used purely for people coming up the disabled exit. Now at the risk of sounding like Will from the Inbetweeners, they're the best seats, and gutted that the best I could do was row 6
2. Up 5 this week (or 4, I can't be bothered to see what I put before) it's Wicker Man. Sure its still overrated, but given the perfect conditions (a slightly wet track, at night, back seats, having been running most of the day so fully warmed up) its actually a very good ride. I mean still nearly no airtime, but good all the same
3. Oblivion. The ultimate one trick pony? Maybe not, of my creds Red Force takes that, but I had a good ride. It seems somehow less scary now, less daunting, less intimidating. And it feels like it holds you less than it used to
4. Rita. Totally undervalued and underrated. Decent launch, decent forces on the turn. The only thing I don't understand is the theme. When you get launched it says "you must escape". From what? Why do I not understand what I'm escaping from
5. Smiler. Did get on it this time around but to be honest I couldn't care less. The best thing about this being open is it attracts thousands of people into its queues / pens resulting in less queue elsewhere
6. Galactica. A day ride and a night ride on this and despite loving it in the past it just bored me. I found myself spending most of the ride thinking about what counts as an inversion on a flying B&M. I mean RCBD suggests 2 inversions but I'm not convinced. Surely upside on a flying coaster is head down only?? Oh, look at the that, the ride ended
7. Thirteen. A ride that can't run if there is any rain in the air apparently, sigh. Awful trims, boring drop, backwards section perfectly designed to make you feel ill despite not being exciting. It can take number 7 at AT and consider that as generous.
8. Spinball Whizzer - surprising but this wasn't as jerky or painful as before
9. Mine Train. Meh. Only the operator saying "Choo Choo" constantly made me smile
10. Octonauts - nuff said

The scare mazes were decent enough and a much better attraction than 4-10 above of the coasters.

Overall a nice albeit very wet day

C6866951-CBC4-4741-9D0B-EC608527134B.jpeg
 

CrashCoaster

CF Legend
I'm gonna get utterly demolished for this, but...

10. Octonauts Roller Coaster Adventure
9. Runaway Mine Train
8. Galactica
7. Oblivion
6. Thirteen
5. Spinball Whizzer
4. Rita
3. Wicker Man
2. Nemesis
1. Smiler
 

Matt N

CF Legend
I'm gonna get utterly demolished for this, but...

10. Octonauts Roller Coaster Adventure
9. Runaway Mine Train
8. Galactica
7. Oblivion
6. Thirteen
5. Spinball Whizzer
4. Rita
3. Wicker Man
2. Nemesis
1. Smiler
What did you see yourself getting demolished for, out of interest? I know Nemesis isn’t #1 like it might be for most, but I wouldn’t say that having Smiler on top is an especially controversial choice; that ride is certainly popular!

Besides, everyone’s entitled to their own opinion; my favourite Towers coaster is Wicker Man by a fair amount, which I know isn’t seen as an overly brilliant ride in the eyes of many enthusiasts, and your top choice of Smiler is maybe 7th on park for me! (In case you’re wondering, the ones below are Galactica, Spinball and Octonauts, in that order)
 

CrashCoaster

CF Legend
What did you see yourself getting demolished for, out of interest? I know Nemesis isn’t #1 like it might be for most, but I wouldn’t say that having Smiler on top is an especially controversial choice; that ride is certainly popular!
Ranking Rita and Spinball quite highly (both above Thirteen) and not really giving a toss about Oblivion. I actually really like Rita, unlike many. Granted, it's no Stealth, but the layout and OTSRs really don't bother me. In fact, I quite like Rita's layout as it has some great airtime moments and the second turn is quite forceful imo. As for Spinball, I just find it ridiculously fun while Thirteen doesn't really do much for me.

But if Towers suddenly announced that Oblivion and Galactica were going to be removed for 2022... well let's just say I wouldn't really lose sleep over it.

Also, this post is my 5,555th logged, which qualifies me as a member of the CF Legend club (yay).
 

Nicky Borrill

Giga Poster
I'm gonna get utterly demolished for this, but...

10. Octonauts Roller Coaster Adventure
9. Runaway Mine Train
8. Galactica
7. Oblivion
6. Thirteen
5. Spinball Whizzer
4. Rita
3. Wicker Man
2. Nemesis
1. Smiler
Nothing wrong with that 🤷🏻‍♂️

If I actually did a proper updated list of late, based on all visits this year, it wouldn’t be too far off my own… Swap number 1 and number 2, and push Oblivion up a little and I’m pretty much there.

But Oblivion is the very definition of a one trick pony, and clearly not to everyone’s liking.

Spinball is great fun, unless you’re in the ‘not of a fan of spinning’ camp, I can see why it would rate highly with you, just sheer, unadulterated fun.

The more I ride Smiler the more I appreciate it, the only real unbearable moment is that very last section, apart from that it’s smooth compared to Saw and other gersts… It’s intense, crazy and has moments of airtime to break it up, it’s very very long, not at all your typical Merlin attraction and It’s good fun, I can get why it’s loved by many… Honestly I think it’s almost a cliche goon thing, and almost fashionable, to hate on Smiler… It’s really not a bad ride. One of only 3 ‘must do on every visit’ coasters at the park for me and the people I visit most often with!
 

Peet

Hyper Poster
@Matt N - how do you fancy compiling a ranking of "CF's favourite rides at Alton Towers" like you have been doing for other polls?

Edit: I thought I had posted my ranking here but in fact it was in an older topic on the same subject, so here we go:

1) Nemesis
2) Smiler
3) Wicker Man
4) Oblivion

- Big Gap -

5) Rita
6) Air/Galactica
7) Corkscrew
8) Black Hole
9) Spinball Whizzer
10) Runaway Mine Train (brilliant for a powered coaster, but still just a powered coaster)
11) Thirteen
12) Beastie

Wasn't allowed to ride Octonauts when it was new and haven't tried since due to the shame.
 
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Nicky Borrill

Giga Poster
Well if @Matt N is going to do that, better update my list!!!

1) Nemesis
2) Smiler
3) Wickerman
4) Oblivion
5) Rita
6) GalacticAir
7) Spinball
8) Thirteen
9) RMT
10) Octanauts
 

Nicky Borrill

Giga Poster
Sure, I’d be happy to give that a crack at some point! Maybe I could do it tomorrow on my day off from uni, after I’ve done my 4 hours of assignment work for the day…
Wasn't sure if that was thinly veiled sarcastic enthusiasm... Then I realised it was you, and you're way too nice to be sarcastic like that. :)
 

Matt N

CF Legend
Wasn't sure if that was thinly veiled sarcastic enthusiasm... Then I realised it was you, and you're way too nice to be sarcastic like that. :)
I wasn’t being remotely sarcastic, don’t worry!

I genuinely meant it, and let me assure you that I’m never being sarcastic on here; I’ll always be 100% honest and say exactly what I mean, as I’m not really a sarcastic person! Even if you think I’m being sarcastic, I’ll always mean what I say; I know that sort of thing can be hard to grasp on the internet, so in order to make my posts as easy to interpret as possible, I promise I’ll never resort to sarcasm or any form of hiding what I mean!

I was literally just saying that it was something I could do in the afternoon after I’ve done my assignment work; I should have done my 4 hours by 3pm or so, so it might be a nice way to spend my afternoon once I’m done!

Besides, given I hardly ever get it whenever anyone else uses sarcasm on here, it would be horribly hypocritical of me if I were to be sarcastic myself!

Come to think of it, I guess I could get cracking right now… I can’t promise anything, but I’ll see if I can have some results online at some point tomorrow!
 
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Matt N

CF Legend
Sorry to double post, but I’ve got a question; would you guys like me to do only the current coasters (10), or shall I extend the list to 18 (the largest list on here) and encompass all of the park’s coasters including the defunct?
 

Nicky Borrill

Giga Poster
I wasn’t being remotely sarcastic, don’t worry!

I genuinely meant it, and let me assure you that I’m never being sarcastic on here; I’ll always be 100% honest and say exactly what I mean, as I’m not really a sarcastic person! Even if you think I’m being sarcastic, I’ll always mean what I say; I know that sort of thing can be hard to grasp on the internet, so in order to make my posts as easy to interpret as possible, I promise I’ll never resort to sarcasm or any form of hiding what I mean!

I was literally just saying that it was something I could do in the afternoon after I’ve done my assignment work; I should have done my 4 hours by 3pm or so, so it might be a nice way to spend my afternoon once I’m done!

Besides, given I hardly ever get it whenever anyone else uses sarcasm on here, it would be horribly hypocritical of me if I were to be sarcastic myself!

Come to think of it, I guess I could get cracking right now… I can’t promise anything, but I’ll see if I can have some results online at some point tomorrow!

Oh Matt, you really are the nicest lad I’ve ever met never met!

It looked like when people say ‘sure, I’ll do it, along with my day job, my evening job, my course work, cleaning the house, feeding and changing the baby, cooking dinner and everything else I have to do!!! Who needs sleep anyway?’

But then I knew all along that is not what you meant, as it was you… It’s the sort of thing I’d say, not somebody as nice as you! :)

Sorry to double post, but I’ve got a question; would you guys like me to do only the current coasters (10), or shall I extend the list to 18 (the largest list on here) and encompass all of the park’s coasters including the defunct?
Probably best to just do current, due to the much higher amount of available data. In my opinion.
 

Matt N

CF Legend
Oh Matt, you really are the nicest lad I’ve ever met never met!

It looked like when people say ‘sure, I’ll do it, along with my day job, my evening job, my course work, cleaning the house, feeding and changing the baby, cooking dinner and everything else I have to do!!! Who needs sleep anyway?’

But then I knew all along that is not what you meant, as it was you… It’s the sort of thing I’d say, not somebody as nice as you! :)


Probably best to just do current, due to the much higher amount of available data. In my opinion.
Oh believe me, I can always squeeze in time for this sort of thing… even though I do have work to do this morning, I won’t ever try and claim that I’m too busy to do anything, and I’m more than happy to squeeze in a poll this afternoon!

Current it is, then; I’ll get the results through to you guys ASAP! Rather satisfyingly, the current coaster lineup is made up of 10 coasters, so all the lists are top 10s anyway!
 

Nicky Borrill

Giga Poster
Nooo, do all the defunct ones too. As one of our resident oldies who's ridden them all, it's one of the very few things I have over you crazy kids!
There’s not many I haven’t ridden (or can’t recall riding) without going back a few pages, I think it was bob and mouse :p

But absolutely go for it… But can they be separate lists @Matt N I just think for the few that have done them all, it will distort the results too much… And also it’s always difficult comparing old to new / current, as you can never quite be sure how much of an impact nostalgia is having… I adored the Missile at AA for example, before I knew any better, and so would still rank it highly!!!
 

Matt N

CF Legend
Sorry to double post, but; if you don’t mind, could someone please fill me in on whatever joke I’m missing from this above post:
I wasn’t being remotely sarcastic, don’t worry!

I genuinely meant it, and let me assure you that I’m never being sarcastic on here; I’ll always be 100% honest and say exactly what I mean, as I’m not really a sarcastic person! Even if you think I’m being sarcastic, I’ll always mean what I say; I know that sort of thing can be hard to grasp on the internet, so in order to make my posts as easy to interpret as possible, I promise I’ll never resort to sarcasm or any form of hiding what I mean!

I was literally just saying that it was something I could do in the afternoon after I’ve done my assignment work; I should have done my 4 hours by 3pm or so, so it might be a nice way to spend my afternoon once I’m done!

Besides, given I hardly ever get it whenever anyone else uses sarcasm on here, it would be horribly hypocritical of me if I were to be sarcastic myself!

Come to think of it, I guess I could get cracking right now… I can’t promise anything, but I’ll see if I can have some results online at some point tomorrow!
I only ask because I was serious about everything I said in that post, and I wasn’t trying to be funny or sarcastic, yet a lot of you seem to be finding it funny based on the current reactions. What did I say that was funny, out of interest? (For clarity, I don’t say that in a remotely mean way; I’m only curious as I often struggle to pick up the more subtle conversational cues, especially online)
Nooo, do all the defunct ones too. As one of our resident oldies who's ridden them all, it's one of the very few things I have over you crazy kids!
OK then, all-time it is! I’ll get cracking a little later when I’ve finished my work… I got sidetracked last night when I was initially hoping to start…

I might see if I can do defunct as a separate sub-list, for those who’ve ridden them; that’s a nice suggestion @Nicky Borrill!
EDIT: It wasn’t even a double post by the time I posted it… I hadn’t seen the posts that @Howie and @Nicky Borrill had made when I started writing…
 
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Will

Strata Poster
Go on then, up to date version

1. Nemesis
2. Oblivion
3. Wickerman
4. Thirteen
5. Galactica
-. Corkscrew
6. Spinball Whizzer
7. Smiler
-. Black Hole
8. Runaway Mine Train
-. Beastie
9. Octonauts Coaster
10. Rita
-. Mini Apple
 

Nicky Borrill

Giga Poster
Sorry to double post, but; if you don’t mind, could someone please fill me in on whatever joke I’m missing from this above post:

I only ask because I was serious about everything I said in that post, and I wasn’t trying to be funny or sarcastic, yet a lot of you seem to be finding it funny based on the current reactions. What did I say that was funny, out of interest? (For clarity, I don’t say that in a remotely mean way; I’m only curious as I often struggle to pick up the more subtle conversational cues, especially online)
Have you ever watched Big Bang Theory?

For me it was a combination of irony. That you were nice enough to take the time to type that whole explanation up. Despite me pointing out that I knew you were too nice to be sarcastic in the original post.

And then this made me chuckle, reminded me of somebody :)

Besides, given I hardly ever get it whenever anyone else uses sarcasm on here, it would be horribly hypocritical of me if I were to be sarcastic myself!
 
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