"Checking Out" People While You're in a Relationship

[LiveForTheLaunch]

So, if anyone has seen the photos of members topic, I stated my dislike for people who have girlfriends or boyfriends and find the need to publicize that another girl is "sexy" or a "fine piece of ass." I was wondering what other people thought about it.

I know it's natural to look at people or think they're good looking, but I don't find it necessary to say it so disrespectfully or out loud at all. Never once in any of my two relationships has either person said another girl was "hot" or "fine" in front of me, and I think that's super respectful of both of them. It would anger me if either of them ever did that, to be honest. Even when a guy's eyes wander to boobs or whatever, I think that's also unfair especially if the significant other is present.

 

[tomahawk]

Depends on if they act on it. If you (or significant other) is going to just go cheat on their significant other, wrong. But there is nothing wrong with saying, "she's hot" when you are say talking about an actress, or "he's hot" talking about an actor. To get upset about that is almost silly. Especially if the people are models. If it is just joe/jan schmo on the street, it isn't bad either. "Look but don't touch" is a great moto to live by.

 

[Uncle Arly]

It's never bothered me in my relationships, and I do it too. In fact most people I know who in relationships do it too. As long as you don't go ahead and cheat on your partner I wouldn't class it as wrong.

I think appreciating someone else's looks isn't harmful and if you think your partner won't look at a single person and think they attractive JUST becuase they are with you, that seems rather controlling and over jealous to me. Maybe that's just me and my trusting nature, but it's never lead to me being cheated on or vice versa.

 

[RCF]

Depends on if they act on it. If you (or significant other) is going to just go cheat on their significant other, wrong. But there is nothing wrong with saying, "she's hot" when you are say talking about an actress, or "he's hot" talking about an actor. To get upset about that is almost silly. Especially if the people are models. If it is just joe/jan schmo on the street, it isn't bad either. "Look but don't touch" is a great moto to live by.

This essentially. I know I'm only in high school and this shouldn't apply to me as much, but I find the "look but can't touch" motto is a safe bet.

 

[Smithy]

My gf joins in with me doing it. #winning. End of the day it's only an issue if you can't trust the other person not to act on their emotions, so to speak.

 

[LiveForTheLaunch]

Yah but shouldn't you be happy with what you have? I understand celebrities and stuff but not like, checking out people on the street when your girlfriend or boyfriend is right there next to you to look at.

 

[tomahawk]

Everytime I mention something when my fiance is around, she does the same thing right back. We both know we are thinking it, so why not be open about it rather than bottle up? If I stare or something, I get a little elbow, but she gets the same thing.

Of course you should be happy with what you have, but if you have a Chevy Camaro, and see a Lamborghini pull up next to you, you are gonna look. That is a fact.

 

[Snoo]

lol really Taylor?

I find looking and commenting perfectly acceptable. At the end of the day, I will always be going home with my beautiful sexy fine piece of ass fiance. I know for a fact that the person I am with trusts me and I trust her. If you are so ignorant to think otherwise, you can just **** off tbh.

 

[Smithy]

Yah but shouldn't you be happy with what you have? I understand celebrities and stuff but not like, checking out people on the street when your girlfriend or boyfriend is right there next to you to look at.

I'm absolutely delighted with what I have; hence why I don't act on my thoughts if I find someone else attractive. Similar to Tomahawk, both myself and my gf comment and join in with one and other, have the utmost trust and know we're both faithful. Can't really see the issue to be frank

 

[Ben]

I think it's fine...

But then my ideas of relationships do come down somewhere on the morally ambiguous side...

And if both me and my imaginary partner were both like "they're hot", I'd stop talking about it and go invite them home with us...

 

[Uncle Arly]

Yah but shouldn't you be happy with what you have? I understand celebrities and stuff but not like, checking out people on the street when your girlfriend or boyfriend is right there next to you to look at.

You can be happy and still find other people attractive you know? Love doesn't make you blind to the the world, and if it doesn't, then you are just denying yourself.

I'm happy, my boyfriend is happy, and we both make comments about people we see. We have a joke about it, but yet, I still go home to him and vice versa.

 

[LiveForTheLaunch]

Like I said, it's obviously natural to look and maybe even think that someone is good looking but I don't find it right to say it out loud in a disrespectful way like "I'd smash her back doors in" or something. I've said girls were attractive and I've said guys were attractive, but never in a "what a fineee piece of ass" sort of thing. It seems to be a bit disrespectful to the other person and make it seem like there's someone else better than them when they should feel like #1.

And Snoo you don't exactly have the best track record but I wasn't specifically talking about you and your "faithfulness."

 

[Snoo]

So, I say something one way and you say it another makes me wrong? That just makes you an idiot tbh. And **** you aren't talking to me. I'm not a **** fool Taylor. "Fine piece of ass" is my exact quote from the Photos of Members thread.

And it would seem you think that, because someone is in a relationship, that everyone else on planet Earth is seemingly unattractive. No one is perfect, and there are always better in terms of looks.. have you seen some of these women in Hollywood? I'm delightfully happy with what I have and she is the same. So I really don't see the problem tbh. It's not like I'm going out and doing every woman I see. Yeah, that girls hott.. yeah shes nice.. yeah yeah.. but end of the day, I come home to a beautiful woman who loves me as much as I love her. And that is all that matters to the both of us.

This logic is borderline retarded, mostly considering you are trying to impose your personal values upon others, namely mine. You are you.. and that's it. As this thread has shown, I'm not the only one fine with an comment as long as you don't act.

And you want to bring MY track record into this? Let us not even discuss what you've done.

 

[LiveForTheLaunch]

^ Okay, and I'm giving an opinion just like everyone else. I personally think it's disrespectful, just like everyone else thinks it's acceptable. I'm not saying I don't expect Brad to think other girls are pretty, in fact I ask him sometimes if he thinks girls are pretty since he won't say it in front of me out of respect, but it's never said in a way like "oh hells yah I'd smash her back doors in, that's one hot piece of ass" (well, unless he's talking about my stepmom :lol: ). And yah there might be someone who's better looking or whatever, but usually if you love someone you think they're perfect and don't think there are far better looking girls out there. I never go out and think "damn that guy is fine" because I'm happy with what I have and in my eyes it doesn't get any better.

I'm not "imposing my personal values upon others" at all, I'm simply stating I personally find it disrespectful. Yes, the debate in Photos of Members did spark me to make the topic, and I was just using "fine piece of ass" as an example, not to make this whole topic against you. But, think of it as you like.

And to be fair you can bring my track record into whatever you want, whenever you want. It doesn't bother me whatsoever. I'm just saying, you're saying you "look but don't touch" when obviously that has proven untrue and that oftentimes, people do act on their thoughts.

 

[Snoo]

but it's never said in a way like "oh hells yah I'd smash her back doors in, that's one hot piece of ass" (well, unless he's talking about my stepmom ). And yah there might be someone who's better looking or whatever, but usually if you love someone you think they're perfect and don't think there are far better looking girls out there. I never go out and think "damn that guy is fine" because I'm happy with what I have and in my eyes it doesn't get any better.

Neither do I. I never say I'm going to go bang a girl directly to my fiance. But the fact I say a woman is a 'fine piece of ass' is essentially saying a girl is pretty. The difference? You. I word what you say differently, but it's the exact same thing.

And to be fair you can bring my track record into whatever you want, whenever you want. It doesn't bother me whatsoever. I'm just saying, you're saying you "look but don't touch" when obviously that has proven untrue and that oftentimes, people do act on their thoughts.

So, because I cheated, you're saying I will do it again simply because I have in the past? Well then tell Brad to look out, because apparently people never change.

Fact is, people grow up, people change, people find better people. You yourself are example of.. well some of that. I look but don't touch and if you actually knew me, you'd know that, regardless of what I have done in my past. One day, when you grow up and become a responsible person, you'll see that.

 

[LiveForTheLaunch]

^ Yah but is it really necessary to point out someone who is a "fine piece of ass" especially when you're happy with what you have? If you're happy with what you have there's not really a purpose to point that out or even check out other girls in the first place.

No, I don't think that you will cheat again and never did I say that, I'm saying that people DO sometimes act on things like that so what is the purpose of checking out other girls in the first place if it can possibly lead to something like cheating? And I never said I didn't cheat in the past, because I did, but now I have no need to check out other guys because I'm happy with what I have and I think he's perfect.

Don't tell me I haven't grown up and become responsible. You haven't spoken to me properly in what, a year because I had a few words with your fiancee? You don't even know me now, so don't even pretend like you do. And to me, being responsible and grown up isn't throwing your friends away because you have a new girl .

 

[Ben]

Jesus, hasn't it been long enough since you two shagged to get over it?

 

[LiveForTheLaunch]

^ I wasn't even referring to that, I was just saying he can't exactly call me mature if he's the one who stops talking to someone he's known for six years because I don't like his girlfriend .

Clearly his loss

ANYWAY I know I'm not a mod but back on track .

 

[Snoo]

No.. I stopped talking to you because you talked about my unborn child. BUT! On that lovely note..

:lock:

 

[furie]

I've unlocked the topic as it's a good discussion point and as long as [two certain] people stop using it to carry on a personal argument, it's got legs Nice legs, go all the way to top

I don't have a lot to add here really to be honest though :lol:

I don't do it. I never have. I very rarely comment on celebrities either. It's not so much to do with "respect" though, but simply because in these matters I always play my cards very close to me chest and always have. I don't know why, I just don't like people judging me on opinions I carry that I have no choice over (who I like the look of I have no control over).

Madame_Furie does it on the celebrity front, but not on a personal walking down the street kind of level. I don't know if this is out of respect, or she doesn't really work that way? I'll have to ask her

I do find it a shock when people in relationships are open like this, but it doesn't bother me and I don't get all heated up about it. I understand that people have different ways of dealing with the way they are and that relationships are built differently for each couple. If you're both happy and it doesn't cause an issue, then so what? Each to their own.