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The X Factor 2011

gavin

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^Agree with you there. I really like Kitty. She's actually the only one I could give a flying **** about. I'll probably stop watching it when she gets kicked off in the next couple of weeks.
 

Slayed

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Misha, Marcus and, shockingly as she's a total bunny-boiler, Kitty, are the only 3 worth spending any time on.

The older bloke in The Risk is constantly out-singing the other three, the girl group look & sing like they're in a bad primary school play, and Janet and Frankie are appalling - they couldn't find a key in a locksmiths.

Fast-forward beckons for the rest of the series methinks.
 

Ian

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Having just watched the repeat show - and that I know exactly what sound sgood seeing as I'm not tone deaf in the slightest - here's my two cents.

Frankie
Urgh, He's like a male Lilly Allen. Doesn't sing, just talks and does so in that stupid, uneasy-on-the ear "mockey" accent. Stupid hair, silly trousers and weaker than Brian Dowling's handshake.

Janet
Sickly, sickly, sickly. Can't stand her cutesy, childish, drab voice. Really boring to watch and listen to. I'd rather tattoo "Vote Johnny" on my eyeballs.

Johnny
I hate this bloke. No, not bloke, wrong word. Disease ridden pathetic excuse of a man. No, not a man, more of a wet blanket. And that's offensive to blankets. I like a bit of camp now and then in entertainment, it can be theatrical and humours if well delivered. Johnny makes me cringe. Why?

Kitty
She's fab. Really enjoyed her performance. She has a really powerful voice and a sparkle about her. I do watch her with open eyes because she's unpredictable. However, if I close my eyes, I actually enjoy listening to her.

Misha
Does the world really need another black female singer with a "soulful" voice? No. It's not soulful, it's squawky, rough and grating. Yeah, she has power to her voice, but it's so last decade. I'm not interested in some young "diva" belting out songs like Tina Turner or Aretha Franklin. Bored of that now.

Sophie
Got up after 20 seconds and made myself a cuppa. She does nothing for me, ahh Vienna. The best thing about her is the way Voiceover Man says her name.

The Risk
Not too bad, but we're in boyband overload territory now. Can't say they impressed me or I have hate for them. Average.

Craig
Yes! The boy can sing. I turned away and faffed on my iPhone during his performance and he sounded excellent. I could imagine his tunes playing in the background on the radio without me wanting to change stations. He's great.

Marcus
Meh. Powerful voice but nothing amazing. I think if he did something a little more upbeat then he'd shine. Average at the moment but room for improvement.

Sami
Very club singerish, but I like her style. I'm also very partial to a strong, lesbian character. The sort of bird I'd love to have a beer and arm wrestle with. She won't go far because ultimately, she's a bit bland.

Nu Vibe
Erm. Can't remember anything about their performance. I think I went downstairs and switched the computer on half way through.

Rhythmix
The girl with the double chin has a face that I want to punch. The four of them don't gel in my eyes and ears. Rubbish, will only survive for a few more weeks thanks to the North London Crew MaSsIvE voting for them 'cus Tulisa told them to, init. They are independent women after all.

My prediction tonight is that Sophie and Nu Vibe will be in the bottom two. Nu Vibe will be kicked off.
 

gavin

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^Nu Vibe will have the soggy-knickered 13 year old girls throwing their weekly £10 phone credit down the drain though, a la One Direction from last year.

Sophie and Kitty will be in the bottom two: Sophie because she's made no impact on the show whatsoever (not her fault in all fairness, they've just not shown anything of her until now) and Kitty because The Sun and Daily Mirror have convinced people, wrongly, that she's another attention-seeking, no-talent, Katie Waisel type.

The judges will keep Kitty because she makes better TV.
 

Ben

CF Legend
Also, fairly sure Jonny is Diane Keaton.

diane-keaton54.jpg


But, obviously, without any sort of talent.
 

gavin

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Kitty was amazing.

Misha was pretty fab, but I hate that **** song. I swear X Factor/____Got Talent/____Idol only have a bank of about 25 songs that they keep rehashing again and again. And again.

Marcus was alright.

The rest were basically awful, but a lot of it was down to the "judges" (yeah, ok then) song choices. Rock night was a joke, basically.

Frankie needs to just **** right off. Got to love how he's acting all famous. Newsflash, unless you reach the finals, you're doing **** all else after X Factor. Even then, you're practically **** ed. Joe Mc whashisface? Matt Cardle? He only won last year and he's already a nobody.
 

Ben

CF Legend
^Frankie's acting all famous, but, he went to The Roxy...

Roxy's a dump. We used to go there on Mondays cause it was so cheap and disgusting...
 

Ben

CF Legend
I'm fully expecting him to have an Ongina-esque breakdown at some point, sobbing and crying about his HIV.

Dunno which one is less of a surprise though... No, wait, it's Jonny.
 

gavin

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I hate to be all political about it, but Johnny is setting gays back by years.

That whole Kenneth Williams, camp, faggy, squeaky, John Inman, embarrassing Graham-Norton-style innuendo, GROSS homo is exactly what "gay" has been tryng to get away from since the **** ing '70s. He'll be singing **** ing YMCA next week.

He needs to just **** off.
 

Jake

Strata Poster
I'm not watching this year but I had to google this fag.

His Cher didn't make me believe.
 

Ian

From CoasterForce
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^ Nothing is wrong with North London. I was making a stereotypical geographic statement - just like the Scots. Welsh and Irish tend to vote for their own.

I **** hate rock week. Well, "let's get a rock song and turn it into a ballad week". It's a **** joke.

This week's theme is "fright night", so I imagine Johnny will be doing some kind of camp version of Thriller *shudders* and Janet will be toning down a heavy tune to another **** ballad.
 

Ian

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So Rhythmix have changed their name because it's the same as a Brighton based charity.

They're now to become Little Mix. I'm really glad that they missed out a "n" in that name because this bitch is certainly no minx...
Rhythmix%20X%20Factor%202011.png

Whenever I see her on telly, I want to punch her in the face. She's so **** annoying. It's a face I'd like to punch.

The BBC (BBC <3) article also states that yet another Facebook campaign has started up to get Smells Like Teen Spirit, the overrated song by only-still-known-cus-Cobain-shot-himself Nirvana, to number 1 at Xmas.

Tbh, with the SH1TE on X-Factor this year, Jake's fab Happy Valley song (see Trip Reports forum) could get to number 1.

The music is ****, but the show is great which is why I'll keep watching.
 

Slayed

Hyper Poster
I'm watching last week's now, on severe FF.

Weirdly, only Louis's acts are actually singing in key (except for Misha) - even The Fag! (Clever choice of song).

Most of the rest are APPALLING, simply gash. We sing better in the Vampire queueline FFS.

I already know the result following an incensed text from my mum :p.

But she has a point - this series is actual turd. I quit!
 

Ben

CF Legend
At least Misha B has dropped all pretence and just decided to utterly start ripping off Grace Jones' look.

Urgh, she's disgusting.
 

gavin

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Just caught up with it.

Kitty is still amazing. She'll be gone in the next couple of weeks, which is such a shame. She's genuinely talented and actually really interesting to watch.

Didn't mind Johnny as much this week. Still can't stand him, but at least he wasn't being made to do the screaming queen routine this week.

Didn't rate Misha this week. She was good, but not as good as she has been. She wishes she was anywhere near as fab as Grace Jones.

Frankie still needs to **** off. I hate when people sing with that mockney accent. It's just too contrived; nobody would "naturally" sing like that.

Janet was AWFUL. The song was in much too low of a key and you could barely here her for a lot of it. Actually, I take it back; it was perfect.

Can't really remember the rest of them.

Oh, getting sick of the "they're just normal girls, just like you!!!!!" routine for the **** ty girl group as well. Oooh look, she's crying because someone called her fat, just like you!
 
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