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Rhein Airtime (Germany Live) Trip reports!

I'll try and fidn the enthusiasm, Ian. And nag Lain to help when it pisses me off, which it will do.

SLAYED, MAKE A SODDING VIDEO. >:C
 
Might as well continue with my PTR. :p

Day 1 - Düsseldorf fair

First things first. This place was friggin huge.
We arrived by tram and we we all gobsmaked at the sheer size of it all as the tram pulled into the station next to the entrance.

Anyway, we made our way into the fair. The place was packed and there were people and rides wherever you looked.

The first thing you see as you enter the fair is the worlds largest travelling log flume.
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And a ride like 'Bling' at Blackpool (only two of these rides in the world).
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There was a HUGE drop tower that was covered in lights and was a wonder how anything in this fair could fit on the back of lorry's.
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We then headed over to the first coaster we could see. Alpine Bahn was in the place where Eurostar used to be. Although we were disappointed that Eurostar wasn't present we all agreed that this was just as good.
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Opposite the coaster was one of the fairs two haunts. Das Omen, it covered two floors and every now and then a group would run along the bridge at the top followed closely by Michael Myers. The themeing on this was mental and was better themed than some of the permanent mazes that Thorpe have.
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We worked our way down to the second coaster in the fair, 'Hollenblitz'. This was easily the best ride in the fair as none of us new what to expect. It's basically a HUGE!!! indoor dark coaster that spins like crazy. It's like supper fast spinning waltzer cars stuck onto a train. And when they said it spun, "THEY EFFING WELL MEANT IT!". :p
The scenery was probably the best out of the whole fair. It had a full working waterfall cascading down the front of the ride, and few minutes the strobes would go, smoke would come out of a wooden mine shaft that was sticking out the wall and a train would come thundering down, through the waterfall (soaking riders and people queuing), before shooting back up and into the mouth of a huge stone face.
Onto the inside of the ride. It was crazy. As soon as you entered the building the cars began spinning and you knew that it wasn't meant to be a relaxing ride. A lift hill went round the entire perimeter of the building and there were gaps in the canvas every now and then so you could glimpse inside the main section of the ride and see other cars going past and lazers shooting all over the place. We then slowed down at the top of the lift hill, dived through smoke (really thick and makes Oblivions smoke look like nothing). Down through the water fall and up back into the building. It was then a mad layout where you had no idea what was coming next. Fire blasters on the scale of the ones in Valhalla were going off all around you, lazers of all colours were spinning and making patterns wherever there was an empty gap and two HUGE Christmas trees kept lighting up in the centre every now and then accompanied by fast strobes. At the end they had one of those light tunnels that Space Mountain has.
Anyway enough about how amazing the ride was. Here's some pictures of it as words simply cannot describe it.
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We then all stopped and had beer and a half meter long hot dog. :shock:
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Anyway. We then moved onto the third coaster which was a wild mouse. This one was different though as it went round a tree. :p
That wasn't the most shocking surprise though as it was the fastest and smoothest Wild Mouse I have EVER been on. It was really enjoyable and made a fun ride. Only Slayed, Peter, Stone cold and I went on this as everyone else thought they were going to get bettered. Of course they didn't believe us when we came off saying that it was smooth. :lol:
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We then worked our way over to the forth coaster. This is what we saw on our way. :p


A huge Ferris wheel.
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The fairs second haunt, themed to a tomb (great themeing once again).
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A ghost train that had four floors. This ride also had actors out the front scaring people. And a guy was on a platform above the ride dropping spiders onto everyone.
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A huge mirror maze.
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A helter skelter, where people had to go up this fast moving travelator. Which was great to watch as all the adults kept falling over and sliding back down. :lol:
That platform move damn fast though. :p
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Anyway, we arrived at the fourth and final coaster of the fair. Which was a Maurer Söhne spinning coaster and a clone of 'Whirlwind' at Camelot.
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So yeah with all the coasters done most the group went on the XXL Afterburner, which is the largest gyro swing in the world.
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We then waited for Stone Cold and Leighton to recover as they felt ill after it. We then walked on and were watching the cycle on the rodeo that went upside down. Mark was debating whever to do it or not, but decided not to when we found out that it had a 15 minute cycle where it kept getting faster and faster. Even though it started off at a speed that was faster than the one that used to be at Chessington.

Almost everyone apart from Will and I went back on Alpina Bahn (we wanted to save our pennies :p ).
Meanwhile we sat on the bench by the exit and watched people getting chased with chainsaws on 'Das Omen'.

We then headed out of the fair and crammed our way onto the tram. When about 200 people had the same idea. Fortunately Stone Cold stood in the doorway and only let the CF'ers on so we all managed to get on the same tram (only just though).


So yeah. It was a busy first day and the fair certainly ended the long day on a high. :D
 
Hi, I have photos and words.

This is where it all started. At the airport. Where we slept on the floor and weighed everything we could find on the luggage scales. I now know how much my crotch weighs.

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Anthony sleeps with mistress Ryanair while I explore the airport and hide his belongings. The airport at night is much like bum town, if bum town were to be kitted out with a tannoy system to inform the bums of vital travel information.

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Movie Park is where we ended up first. Its one of those parks that use "hey, its BACKSTAGE" as an excuse to be as bland as a field of warehouses and cut theming short, leaving the structure exposed.

I despise these parks. Even Disney's efforts in this genre make my cringe. The whole "escapism" and illusion of a movie relies on the fact that as a viewer, you only see the pristine, composed shots the director wanted you to see.
At a movie PARK, you might get dipped in a great story and setting every now and then, but once you step outside the generic tin shed the whole story, atmosphere and illusion is dispelled.
It's about as jarring and stupid as the cast of a great film breaking the fourth wall and shouting "HI MUM" at the camera every scene. You feel stupid for allowing yourself to take is seriously and wonder what the purpose of the whole event was, since it was apparently just a fake.

Anyway...

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Movie Park has some rides. This is a wooden coaster called "Bandit"

Somewhere between shuffling out the station on chewed hamster ball wheels and jostling towards the lifthill on track that feels like a long row of Toblerone, you realise what lies ahead of you probably isn't going to feel all that comfortable.

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About here you start to compose yourself in weird contorted positions, trying to fend off the full body assault of this train wreck of a ride

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"IT WINDED ME AND COLLAPSED MY LUNGS BEFORE I COULD RECOVER"

"No Hands! No, seriously, not a bone left in my hands!"

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Yeah...

But it did have one good bit!

It has these cool things that stop the train and put an end to all the pain.

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Honestly, the worst STANDING wooden coaster I've ever been subjected to. Psyclone at Magic Mountain was basically the exact same ride in the exact same condition, but at least THAT park had the decency to put its rabid wooden animal down.

Next up was one of those SLC things. Thankfully, not a bad one. The usually horrendous finale rolls were actually splendidly smooth, which was nice as I finally got to experience what they were designed to feel like.

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Still, its nothing special. And with the rest of the park so shockingly mediocre, there really needed to be something special here instead of an average clone coaster.

Oh, what’s that?
They USED to have a unique coaster?
But they removed it?

I see…

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Oh, but this was good.

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Despite sitting alone in a barren patch of... tar, this ride was nicely dressed up.
If it had been placed with the (similarly themed) Top Spin, they could have shared surroundings and further enhanced the mechanised industrial atmosphere, but since it was run on a good cycle, I'll let it have credit anyway

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'Sup guys. Enjoying that spine-straightening burst of power at the end of the cycle? =)

On the other side of the park, in the supposedly "new" section (which actually consists of relocated, recycled crap and sparse new additions or theming), there is a Wild Mouse coaster. Best in the park, frankly.
Gave a wicked little pop of airtime on a couple of the drops and the exposed cars really aided the terror of the high-rise hairpins

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"The colours! They melt retinas!"

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Whoever makes this version of the Wild Mouse classic deserves a pat on the back for these great little carts.

Replacing the solid side walls with gappy metal bars is wicked mean!

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The above is one of those failures of a kiddy coaster that entertains neither adult nor child. By the time a kid is tall enough to ride, they are old enough to find this ten-foot, four-second joke about as scary as a broken swingset.

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Yeah, you go guys! Go get your one lap

Besides that, my and Ant had fun harassing parents and children on the Splash Battle (turn the handles slow enough and you can arch a lovely stream of water right onto people's crotches) and squeezing in a ride on the drop tower as it finally opened from breakdown about an hour before park close (also happened to be the best ride in the park).

Played with the fountains, corrupted young minds, and left.

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Now, I know that was a harsh report, but I seriously can't sugar coat this dire park. Flies visibly breeding on the food, horrible queue conditions, distinctly average rides, unreliable and broken attractions and as proven by their latest investments, no desire to improve.

Typically, when you visit a venue with low expectations, a magical psychological thing happens and you walk away thinking "well that was actually quite good!", but I somehow left feeling even less amused than when I entered.

God, if I hadn't had fun friends and decent people in my company that day, I'd have peeled my own skin off from boredom!

Thankfully the rest of the trip featured WONDERFUL other parks and rides infinitely better =)

Not to mention the AWESOME fair saving the day. Which happens to be the next trip report I’ll be doing
 
GERMAN FAIR, GERMAN FAIR, GERMAN FAIR


Okay, to be fair to Movie Park, I will say all the negative things about this venue too.

(1) Eurostar wasn't there and they hadn't replaced it with a looping alternative. Alpina Bahn was very fun and new for me, but I'd have liked to get the last of my travelling looping coaster credits on "Olympia Looping"

(2) The creepy, neo nazi guy who kicked me. A German friend informs me that he was most certainly part of that movement, thus the white makeup and crew cut.

(3) That's it. Two bad things.

Ready for some FUN?

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Yeah, we headed straight for the monstrous travelling coaster. Always an incredible sight. I imagine they could fit an average of three track sections on each trailer with maybe five supports, so the fact that they drive this all around the country is stunning.

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Smoother than most permanent coasters and a hell of a lot better designed, this thing is pure genius. I especially liked the lengthy straight drops that bottom out into buttock-crushing pullout corners.

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Hitting the block brakes (which weren't applied. At all) with about four lateral g's was also brutally fun.

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Why are the wheels about as thick as a TV remote? Scary

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Lots of funny faces =3

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The corner before the tiny airtime hill that puts everyone on the right seat on the left rider's lap.

Other rides? Yes, getting there..

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Do you wanna make that thing go any higher?! Jesus, the people in the back rows are beyond vertical!

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I'm confused as to why some seat rows are upside down in this photo when the main boom of the ride is stationary, but at least it makes the photo more exciting =)

Maybe there's an Olympic sprinter riding and swinging the row with his 400lb meat legs...

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Another ride being run possibly faster than it should be. If "Billy's Whizzer" did this at Chessington, the fountains wouldn't even come close to the riders

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"HollenBlitz", which I've actually ridden before under the name "Star World" (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/c ... _DueDo.jpg)
and had recently (?) been rethemed to a mine cart ride to hell.
The track layout was only slightly different to before (the drop out the front of the structure never used to go all the way to the ground), but inside there were far more effects and crazy additions, so its an improvement!

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As an art lover, I loved the huge airbrushed facade of the building. About 90ft tall and over 140ft wide, easily. And all painted!.

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Ready to go to hell? On the back of a spinning mine train... that a creepy old animatronic man is driving... past christmas trees and balls of fire...?

Want to eat? Let's see the options!

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If you don't like beer...

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And you don't like sausage...

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And you don't like big, brown heart cookies.

You're F*CKED =)

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I think one of the bulbs has blown. Go replace it. Its one of the round glass, coloured things...

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This wall is almost completely flat- and yet, with creative use of airbrushing art and effects, it looks deep and exciting

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Unfortunately, this ride didn't advertise what it actually DID, so although we admired how pretty it was, nobody rode. And that was true of the majority of the passing crowds too...

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A fairly average spinning coaster. Not really dressed up all that amazingly either. Is this the future of travelling coasters when the monstrous Shwarzkopf creations become too costly to transport? =(

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Tired? There's no time to be TIRED! We have to go on...

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...the overgrown KMG Afterburner yet!
Seriously, who fed this thing and what did they feed it? It looks rediculous.

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XXX sex gives everyone "orgasm face"

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Oooooohhh...

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Hmmmmph...

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Ahhhhhh...

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HNNNNGGGHHH....

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"I'm spent" :)

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Look at this tiny drop tower! It only holds thirty two people! Not even thirty three!

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And it's barely 900ft tall either. What a wimp... :wink:


Can we go again please?

Or, if CoasterForce ever do the traip again, I strongly encourage leaving Movie Park out of the itinerary for this and a walk around the city instead!
 
^That's the thing, if we'd put Toverland or Heide on the itinerary we probably wouldn't have bothered to stay in Dusseldorf....just praise the Fair Gods that we did ^_^.

Tim, you do fantastic trip reports AND take awesome pics, keep going! :D

I was too scared to get my camera out on XXL...
 
Lol, all of 26km further :p.

There still wouldn't have been any need to stay in Dusseldorf, we'd have gone closer to Phantasia.

Anyway, it's a bit late now :p. And obviously we'd skip Movie Park in the future, hindsight is always perfect.
 
I am still happy we done Movie Park, it was still a new park as far as I am concerned.

I know the park did not have a great coaster but I still enjoyed the day.

The other way of looking at things is to go for a week that way you get to all the parks people want. But it gets expensive and by the end of the trip I was worn out from the parks and the driving. Not that I minded driving I loved it but you need a day to relax and a lay in.

How many people could have afford the trip if it was £500 not many.
 
Tim said:
XXX sex gives everyone "orgasm face"
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I am about to throw up in that picture :p Mark did say that he saw me raise my hand to my mouth a few times!

I wasn't feeling particularly well that evening, I don't know whether it was the Subway I had in Movie Park, or if it was the 2ft sausage I had at the Fair :p
The ride was absolutely insane though!


Best photo of the trip!!
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:lol:
 
Leighton said:
I am about to throw up in that picture :p Mark did say that he saw me raise my hand to my mouth a few times!

Ahh yes, now I can kinda see it.
That's the pose everyone takes when they're starting to wonder if they will see out till the end of the ride.

Face the floor, close eyes, grip knees... =)
 
Video of Day 3 is now up.

High Quality (Click on 'high quality' under video.
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVnGnGerHq4



or normal crappy quality. :p
[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZVnGnGerHq4[/youtube]


That's the last of my videos of the days as I don't have enough footage for a 'day 4' video, as the only footage I did in Europa was the backwards Silver Star POV. :(

Enjoy it anyway. :)
 
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