Milky Way/Cornwall's Crealy, 18/19 June 2011
- Thread starter Ian
- Start date
EnigmaHyena
Hyper Poster
That dragon coaster's face is excessively derpy. Still hot though as per usual with dragons <3
And that's all I care about.
And that's all I care about.
EnigmaHyena
Hyper Poster
^ Lol omg Homestar Runner reference <3
Jake
Strata Poster
Haha, the old woman OMG <3.
I didn't take ANY photos, but it was a fab weekend! The weather wasn't great but I think we were lucky not to get spited by rain too much at the camp site, even though it was quite cold/windy... could have been a lot worse.
Highlights:
The dodgems at Milky Way <3
The ball pit <3
Slide into ball pit <3
Vertical slides in general <3
Ian getting spited on the zipwire <3
Sue drinking the ash tray <3
PUTRID moments:
The Log Flume </3
Hearing/seeing Richie V multiple times on the way home </3
The vile woman at Birmingham new street who 'ad a go. Bitch </3
That's all I can think of for now, but it really was awsome
I didn't take ANY photos, but it was a fab weekend! The weather wasn't great but I think we were lucky not to get spited by rain too much at the camp site, even though it was quite cold/windy... could have been a lot worse.
Highlights:
The dodgems at Milky Way <3
The ball pit <3
Slide into ball pit <3
Vertical slides in general <3
Ian getting spited on the zipwire <3
Sue drinking the ash tray <3
PUTRID moments:
The Log Flume </3
Hearing/seeing Richie V multiple times on the way home </3
The vile woman at Birmingham new street who 'ad a go. Bitch </3
That's all I can think of for now, but it really was awsome
Mysterious Sue
Strata Poster
Ohh wow I'm so tired, I think every muscle in my body aches, and I won't be able to wear short sleeves for weeks coz my elbows are in such a state! Thanks everyone for a wonderful weekend, especially Vadge for organising it, and Stone Cold for driving me around and playing some great music
TR tomorrow (and I'm gonna try and have a go at a video for Milky Way too). Milky Way was awesome, I loved it so much <3 When I got home, they'd already gone though and replied back from the survey thing - how good is that! They obviously live and breath the park - it's lovely to see.
Highlights for me:
Vadge hearing the word 'carvery' through two rooms of v. loud people!!!
Ben being a scottish widow and walking into the lamp light with a billowing cape
the mincing alien in clone zone
the superfast dodgems
Brent, the kid who tried to rape everyone in the ball pond
the vertical death slide
synchronised 'ohhhs' on the Beast
the only low of the trip for me was drinking the ash tray dregs of beer, and throwing up behind a chair ewwwwww
TR tomorrow (and I'm gonna try and have a go at a video for Milky Way too). Milky Way was awesome, I loved it so much <3 When I got home, they'd already gone though and replied back from the survey thing - how good is that! They obviously live and breath the park - it's lovely to see.
Highlights for me:
Vadge hearing the word 'carvery' through two rooms of v. loud people!!!
Ben being a scottish widow and walking into the lamp light with a billowing cape
the mincing alien in clone zone
the superfast dodgems
Brent, the kid who tried to rape everyone in the ball pond
the vertical death slide
synchronised 'ohhhs' on the Beast
the only low of the trip for me was drinking the ash tray dregs of beer, and throwing up behind a chair ewwwwww
Mysterious Sue
Strata Poster
I thought I’d make an effort to actually finish a trip report this time, so have an epically long account of the weekend’s shenanigans:
Friday night I got home from work and gathered the camping stuff, ready to trek to the station and get the train to Egham, where I was meeting Richard at 7pm to continue my journey in the Car of RAH. But I’d packed way too much stuff, and the rain could only be described as monsoon intensity, and was worsening, so I decided to drive to Egham. This was, it turns out, a HUGE mistake. My journey consisted of the A3, and M25 (maybe 15/20 mins even in rush hour)...but the A3 was shut completely, and I couldn’t even get on to the M25! So I sat there with time ticking away… eventually I got onto the M25 the wrong way and came back on myself through endless slow-moving queues. I guessed Richard would be late too, but with no mobile, I could only sit and stress out, until 2 hours later I pulled up in Egham and went to find a pay phone, only to discover that Richard had only just made it as well!
By the time we got going, things had improved slightly, and we made our way south towards Aldershot and Neal. After some re-arranging of our many bags and tents, the Car of RAH set off towards a carvery. It was getting late and food was much needed by all, but we were in good spirits. As we waited for a table, fun was had trying to stamp each other with the pub’s address stamp, and the boys chucking me to the floor amid angry looks from the tables around us! The waitress thought we were hilarious, especially after we showed our support on her dealing with some raucous and rather rude drunk people at the back.
On the road again, we amused ourselves with Richard’s i-pod of very decent music, and played music-based quiz games until Southampton unfortunately came into view – I’d never been before and it was a bit skanky to be honest (sorry Jordan/Ian), but that may have been down to the negotiation of drunk people on a late Friday night </3.
Jordan’s house is awesomely huge and so studenty I kept expecting the young ones to pop up at any stage (although due to Richard’s new haircut, we had our very own Suggs already!) It was lovely to see everyone and catch up again, especially Jake who I haven’t seen for yonks, and Richie, who I’ve never met sober before). Most of the night was spent looking at Will’s strange fetishes on the laptop – amputees anyone? Why? At one point, I was sat in the conservatory and was talking about our drive down. Somehow Vadge, from the back end of the living room, managed to hear the word ‘carvery’ over all the noise of the party, and shouted it back! Loudly! ‘Carvery’ was then abused at every opportunity over the next two days, along with f***axe which had started to make an appearance!
We all went to sleep very late (or maybe that should be early), and with the doors open to the conservatory, it was bitterly cold (despite my best efforts to stuff random clothes into the broken windows *sigh*). Also, I’d like to point out that Jordan’s conservatory floor appears to be made entirely of cigarettes!
Very little sleep later, people began to emerge. Will went for bacon and Vadge became chef – thanks guys. I have to say that I felt so ill at this point from the cold/booze, I don’t know which, but I was kinda out of it until the afternoon. We had a long drive down to Cornwall, and more music games ensued, as well as an impromptu meet up at the services, and laughter at Richard’s vey camp windowscreen wipers ‘ohhh the rain, ohhh, what do I do…sway’. We drove into Milky Way’s carpark, blasting Flash Gordon very loudly in honour of Vadge’s organisation.
Once Ian had collected the national debt, we went through to meet one of the park owners/operators, who took us through and gave us tea, and told us all about the history of the park. I get the impression that some people find this sort of thing boring, but I have to admit that I absolutely love it – especially when someone is so obviously loving their job and knows the park inside out. Three cheers for Milky Way for being so awesome!
The family also have loads of info about themselves in the park, including a huge family tree and some history
I was bursting for the loo by now though, and dashed off while everyone else sauntered around the trac’or exhibit.
We then headed outside to get some credzzzz. First up was Big Apple, which looked very well kept and tidy.
The same could not be said about us!
Then we rode the Pinfari, Cosmic Typhoon, which I though was quite cute, and had interesting 4 person cars with really, really high restraints. Ian wanted a re-ride for a pov, and I joined in just as the rain started. The rain came thick and fast, and soon we were all screaming about how grim it was. I tried to hide into my hood, and could no longer see where the corners or drops were - this was a very bad, and terrifying mistake.
Once off, we legged it inside, and decided to try Clone Zone, so that we didn’t spoil any of the surprises with the track walk later.
0X
I’d heard many things about Clone Zone…it’s awesome…it’s made of cardboard…it’s just faaaab…it’s made on a budget of 20p…it’s scary as s***…it’s bat on a stick on acid…it’s got a disco room…it’s a gay sex shop….but I had no idea it was a walkthrough as well as a ride! I have to say I thought it was excellent, with the actor/guide scaring you as you go round, the crazy psychedelic art work, the smoke and light effects, and a great back story. It was truly GENIUS! :--D The batflier was also powered, and much better than the gravity-driven one I’d been on at Plopsaland. We all sat clogging up the exit tunnel as we came out one-by-one, and made the stragglers crowd surf over everyone! This resulted in a huge tangle of bodies, and lots of pain and laughter!
We then gathered near the entrance for our track walk.
We started in the station area and got to look inside all the electrics attached to each car.
Our guide told us how the ride had originally been made with help from EU funding using a company called Vision for the theming, with Caripro supplying the ride; but how they were let down majorly by both companies, when bits of the supplied track didn’t fit, and with the ride becoming unreliable very quickly, often breaking down. Thankfully, the park itself had taken over the project, physically taking apart the ride to fix it, adding in all the theming and boxing in sections for a scarier feel. Absolute credit to them for doing that, and making it into a brilliant and quirky ride, when it would have been so easy just to give up! We had a walk up the track and saw all the effects including the dreaded ‘Dyson Hoover’...
the ‘Mirrorball of Death’...
the ‘Sponge Person from Mars’...
and ‘Yoda in a Bin’...
We may mock, but when the lights are off, they are actually really effective, helped by the ride ops constantly creeping up and scaring the crap out of you!
Then I think it was dodgem time. Apparently these used to be travelling, but had now been fixed in place inside a giant shed. The whole thing gave the atmosphere of a night at the fairground, and the dodgems got faster half way though, and were Epic! They also let us stay on FTW!
Lunch was called, and we tried the restaurant upstairs, which is best described as a ‘1980s leisure centre café’. Basic food, but very reasonably priced. No one ate in the Thatched Café, which was actually a really pretty old farm building that smelt of yummy jacket potatoes.
Then it was time to check out the Time Warp, probably named as such because it defies anyone not to regress into a child of six. Time Warp is a huge indoor play area/assault course for adults and children. It included the Black Hole (aka Slide of Death) – a giant vertical slide that ate elbow skin. There were also gladiator style ropes and rings, and slides into ball pools. Basically a CFer’s heaven. I’ve no idea how long we were in there, but it felt like hours, and I was bruised and tired when I eventually emerged; this was partly due to the random child who tried to hump my leg in the ball pond, from who I’d tried to escape, but mainly due to the silly idea of giving the Slide of Death a launched start (this means you touch nothing but air until you hit the floor half way down, where upon, your spine compresses and you brain hits the top of your skull – I DO NOT recommend).
Then I think we did dodgems again, then re-rode Clone Zone (and did a group photo in the queue line), and then more dodgems of joy. We ended the day in the outside play area, where Ian fell off a zip line and Will lost his shoes on the swings. We battled the wind, and left Milky Way tired, but happy.
The only sad thing was that we didn't get to see this (sewn up planets FTW):
It was about another hour to the campsite, and the car of RAH got totally and utterly lost following Will. Richard decided he knew better, took the lead, and drove us up someone’s garden path. Unfortunately, Will followed us down said path, and I’m afraid to say there may have been some outdoor light casualties :roll: . We finally found the place and after a bit of a faff, got up tents and unpacked, then drove to Tesco to stock up on food and booze. Neal, Will, Richard and I opted for a BBQ, while others tried cooking on hobs, or just gave up completely and went for sandwiches! Unfortunately, the wind had started to get even stronger and we battled to keep the BBQ going until our pile of steaks had been done. They tasted lovely, but were a bit chewy, and on closer inspection it seemed that we had bought casserole steak. FAIL. Soon the hedgerow was festooned with semi-chewed meat gristle!
The meat to bread ratio was also fairly poor!
The sun started to set as we gathered under Vadge’s make-shift canopy to drink and talk. Although thankfully, the rain held off, the wind was very strong, and kept knocking over the tent poles to cries of PANIC! and F***axe! Jordan appeared in a bunny suit for some unknown reason! We played the ‘naming coasters alphabetically round in a circle’ game, until we all couldn’t help ourselves and began joining in on everyone else’s turn, at which point, Gavin pointed out it wasn’t so much a game, as just goons randomly mentioning coaster names; so we gave it up to shouts of Awooga! Goon alert! Ian then produced a bag of games such as foam airplanes, that couldn’t be used due to wind. Some peeps went to bed then, while the rest of us stayed up to drink more cider. I was feeling quite drunk when people began to clear up, and when someone passed me a bottle of strawberry Brothers, I thought nothing of downing the remnants. Who the hell was that? Bastards! It was basically just an ash tray in dregs of cider. Eurghhh. I then proceeded to vomit copiously behind a chair. :evil:
Later, we moved the party away from the tents and took the gas lamp up the steps to the patio. I went off to pee, and when I came back, was convinced someone was following me, but then realised it was my own shadow! Ohh dear… [strike]Ben[/strike] [edit: Ed, apologies for my terrible drunken memory] went somewhere, and when he came back, he was wearing his coat like a cloak, with the hood up. As he came into the lantern light, someone shouted ‘Scottish Widow’….and the rest is history. Neal and [strike]Ben[/strike] [Ed] proceeded to prance around with a lamp, with [strike]Ben’s[/strike] [Ed's] cape billowing in the wind :lol: :lol: :lol: I crumpled with laughter and tears, until I finally decided to call it a night.
The next morning, I got up early and sat with Ian and Vadge cooking bacon, drinking tea, and mending Will’s Force India shirt (that Brent the ballpool boy had ripped), until the rain began, and we all hurriedly got the tents down and headed off to Crealy. At some stage, Jordan retold the story of peeing in her bunny suit, but I’ll let her retell that one, lol! Unfortunately, there had been no electricity points at the campsite (insert one of Sue’s pissed off rants about UK campsites here) so I couldn’t charge my phone, hence no photos from Sunday, sorry folks.
We drove the short way to Cornwall's Crealy Great Adventure Park, and were greeted with a shop as an entrance, and the world's most annoying theme tune. Not the most pleasant entrance in my opinion, but there you are. The first thing we did was the Enchanted Forest walk though, which basically consisted of some painted MDF in a shed and some small animatronics. To be fair, even the 2 year olds looked bored. Then Vadge saw the porn ponies, or ‘fail mine train’ (due to its real name ‘Pony Express’) and got a bit excited, but she was spited as everyone else ran towards the cred. Morgawr was quite cute, nothing amazing, but well looked after. It was themed with stories of Cornish monsters (including one about a giant owl man that may have actually just been an owl) and an old fishing net! The monster looked ridiculously unscary and the music was some strange Cornish folk song. Richard and I got spited as the others all took up the first train, and we had to ride alone, Richard in the front, and me in the back. It was actually quite fast through the station.
I was wondering what else Crealy would have to offer after the cred was over – it turned out to be many, many slides. Every slide required a hessian mat, and we spent most of the day dragging mats up steps and getting quite exhausted. First was the curly slide, in which I got stuck; then came the bumpy slide, down which we could all race. Maddie went down, hilariously wiping out a small child along the way!!! Then we went on the Dizzy Dina ride, which was very odd. You sit in a tea cup affair, but as the ride goes round in a circle, you are jolted up and down. Some liked it, some didn’t. Personally, it made me remember the Brothers. As we got off, Jordan (who was wearing some ludicrously pink trousers that were offensive to anyone with a hangover) came rushing over all excited. We followed her to a kids play area consisting of some miniature houses. The first had some tiny, tiny slides and playthings in – Sam had somehow concertinaed his body into one and was having trouble getting back out again! Lol! Another had the scariest mural of Snow White I have ever seen – I thought she resembled the alien from Mars attacks, although Jake was just convinced she had a coke habit. We posed for a group photo amongst the mutant dwarves.
Then we went to ride the Beast, a tinsy, tiny drop tower. It was actually really cute, and made everyone have synchronised ohhs of delight with each light breeze. However, it took about an hour to return the ride to the ground once the cycle had finished, and I was not too happy about having a second go, seeing as how I was still feeling a bit queezy from the Brothers. Raging River was next – twin water slides down a hillside with dinghies - one with a big hump in the middle, and one with a big painful looking kink! I tried both, despite the huge trek up the hill back to the start; they were fab, spinning out at the last minute to make you go flying, and the ride op was hilarious! A bit painful on the arse though! Only Jake seemed to get wet, so we all pointed and laughed. It was at this point that we noticed the FAB old lady with the collapsible walking stick in a dinghy. She was loving it, dragging her daughter around and egging her on the whole time!
Then we did the Viking Warrior, which was a small pile of ship. I got to sit next to the child wearing a ridiculous superman banana costume (tell me someone got a picture, it was hilarious). Then we went over to the log flume Thunder Falls, and caught up with the FAB lady again; she and her daughter got drenched! We all had a go (I love the pink seats!) and I managed to almost kill Maddie by putting my feet up on the bars to keep them dry, and going flying into her back during the drop (sorry hun). We all got soaking wet. Jordan and Maddie then showed us the art of [strike]'benching'[/strike] [edit: 'planking']...I'm still confused!
Time for more slides (this time another vertical one) and zip lines to mess about on. Then I think we went on the helter skelter – two enclosed curly slides that wrapped around each other and had an endless number of steps. Neal and I decided that it would be fun to go down together. I went in front, but lost him half way down – then I heard the screams. Apparently the slide did not like Neal and had bent his hand back. When he got to the bottom, his hand was all swollen, and I actually thought he’d broken it for a while! Ekkk! We bandaged it later on. Poor Neal.
After making sure Neal was ok, we went into the Haunted Castle, which turned out to be another indoor play area - a complete maze of unlit corridors, crazy ropes and slides, and soft landings. There was another vertical slide, and some funky fun house style trick floor. The best bit was the entranceway that got narrower and narrower towards a door in true Willie Wonka style. Thanks Neal for making my life complete and singing the awesome Pure Imagination song!! At the end of the playhouse was yet another vertical slide, this time with a dip, into a ball pool!!! I think I’d reached vertical slide saturation point by then, and headed outside for a cold drink!
Sadly, people began to say their goodbyes, and we walked slowly back up the hill towards the exit via the petting zoo, cooing over baby bunnies, gaping at escapologist goats, and scratching piglets' backs. Bi’s were said and hugs given, and the car of RAH sped off towards….Tintagel (or nearest whole t'integer' </maths>)
We had lunch in a pub, and then the boys and I spent the afternoon having great fun at King Arthur’s castle and exploring caves on the beach. Neal taught us about the castle’s history, I showed everyone rocks and fault boundaries, and Richard clung on for dear life trying not to step in puddles and cursing his hang over. I have learnt that even though accountants may be loud, they are not to be confused with mountain goats! We also found a black ball from a ballpool in the car! Any ideas anyone??? It came up to the castle with us anyway, and became known as Sue’s Sphere of Suspicion. After nearly dying of exhaustion, walking back up the cliff, we headed for home. We only had one near death experience on the way home, at which point Richard instinctively shouted ‘S***axe!!!', and so a new curse was born!! There were more S***axe moments on the drive home, mainly caused by stupid Golf drivers, and the boys got to see my less friendly side as I swore at Golfs lol! Neal also obtained a water pistol from Burger King, much to his delight, my annoyance, and the amusement of the restaurant staff!! I got home eventually...tired, aching, and as always, extraordinarily happy...thanks all x
So that was it really...a rather uneventful weekend :wink:
Scottish Widows!!!
Friday night I got home from work and gathered the camping stuff, ready to trek to the station and get the train to Egham, where I was meeting Richard at 7pm to continue my journey in the Car of RAH. But I’d packed way too much stuff, and the rain could only be described as monsoon intensity, and was worsening, so I decided to drive to Egham. This was, it turns out, a HUGE mistake. My journey consisted of the A3, and M25 (maybe 15/20 mins even in rush hour)...but the A3 was shut completely, and I couldn’t even get on to the M25! So I sat there with time ticking away… eventually I got onto the M25 the wrong way and came back on myself through endless slow-moving queues. I guessed Richard would be late too, but with no mobile, I could only sit and stress out, until 2 hours later I pulled up in Egham and went to find a pay phone, only to discover that Richard had only just made it as well!
By the time we got going, things had improved slightly, and we made our way south towards Aldershot and Neal. After some re-arranging of our many bags and tents, the Car of RAH set off towards a carvery. It was getting late and food was much needed by all, but we were in good spirits. As we waited for a table, fun was had trying to stamp each other with the pub’s address stamp, and the boys chucking me to the floor amid angry looks from the tables around us! The waitress thought we were hilarious, especially after we showed our support on her dealing with some raucous and rather rude drunk people at the back.
On the road again, we amused ourselves with Richard’s i-pod of very decent music, and played music-based quiz games until Southampton unfortunately came into view – I’d never been before and it was a bit skanky to be honest (sorry Jordan/Ian), but that may have been down to the negotiation of drunk people on a late Friday night </3.
Jordan’s house is awesomely huge and so studenty I kept expecting the young ones to pop up at any stage (although due to Richard’s new haircut, we had our very own Suggs already!) It was lovely to see everyone and catch up again, especially Jake who I haven’t seen for yonks, and Richie, who I’ve never met sober before). Most of the night was spent looking at Will’s strange fetishes on the laptop – amputees anyone? Why? At one point, I was sat in the conservatory and was talking about our drive down. Somehow Vadge, from the back end of the living room, managed to hear the word ‘carvery’ over all the noise of the party, and shouted it back! Loudly! ‘Carvery’ was then abused at every opportunity over the next two days, along with f***axe which had started to make an appearance!
We all went to sleep very late (or maybe that should be early), and with the doors open to the conservatory, it was bitterly cold (despite my best efforts to stuff random clothes into the broken windows *sigh*). Also, I’d like to point out that Jordan’s conservatory floor appears to be made entirely of cigarettes!
Very little sleep later, people began to emerge. Will went for bacon and Vadge became chef – thanks guys. I have to say that I felt so ill at this point from the cold/booze, I don’t know which, but I was kinda out of it until the afternoon. We had a long drive down to Cornwall, and more music games ensued, as well as an impromptu meet up at the services, and laughter at Richard’s vey camp windowscreen wipers ‘ohhh the rain, ohhh, what do I do…sway’. We drove into Milky Way’s carpark, blasting Flash Gordon very loudly in honour of Vadge’s organisation.
Once Ian had collected the national debt, we went through to meet one of the park owners/operators, who took us through and gave us tea, and told us all about the history of the park. I get the impression that some people find this sort of thing boring, but I have to admit that I absolutely love it – especially when someone is so obviously loving their job and knows the park inside out. Three cheers for Milky Way for being so awesome!
The family also have loads of info about themselves in the park, including a huge family tree and some history
I was bursting for the loo by now though, and dashed off while everyone else sauntered around the trac’or exhibit.
We then headed outside to get some credzzzz. First up was Big Apple, which looked very well kept and tidy.
The same could not be said about us!
Then we rode the Pinfari, Cosmic Typhoon, which I though was quite cute, and had interesting 4 person cars with really, really high restraints. Ian wanted a re-ride for a pov, and I joined in just as the rain started. The rain came thick and fast, and soon we were all screaming about how grim it was. I tried to hide into my hood, and could no longer see where the corners or drops were - this was a very bad, and terrifying mistake.
Once off, we legged it inside, and decided to try Clone Zone, so that we didn’t spoil any of the surprises with the track walk later.
0X
I’d heard many things about Clone Zone…it’s awesome…it’s made of cardboard…it’s just faaaab…it’s made on a budget of 20p…it’s scary as s***…it’s bat on a stick on acid…it’s got a disco room…it’s a gay sex shop….but I had no idea it was a walkthrough as well as a ride! I have to say I thought it was excellent, with the actor/guide scaring you as you go round, the crazy psychedelic art work, the smoke and light effects, and a great back story. It was truly GENIUS! :--D The batflier was also powered, and much better than the gravity-driven one I’d been on at Plopsaland. We all sat clogging up the exit tunnel as we came out one-by-one, and made the stragglers crowd surf over everyone! This resulted in a huge tangle of bodies, and lots of pain and laughter!
We then gathered near the entrance for our track walk.
We started in the station area and got to look inside all the electrics attached to each car.
Our guide told us how the ride had originally been made with help from EU funding using a company called Vision for the theming, with Caripro supplying the ride; but how they were let down majorly by both companies, when bits of the supplied track didn’t fit, and with the ride becoming unreliable very quickly, often breaking down. Thankfully, the park itself had taken over the project, physically taking apart the ride to fix it, adding in all the theming and boxing in sections for a scarier feel. Absolute credit to them for doing that, and making it into a brilliant and quirky ride, when it would have been so easy just to give up! We had a walk up the track and saw all the effects including the dreaded ‘Dyson Hoover’...
the ‘Mirrorball of Death’...
the ‘Sponge Person from Mars’...
and ‘Yoda in a Bin’...
We may mock, but when the lights are off, they are actually really effective, helped by the ride ops constantly creeping up and scaring the crap out of you!
Then I think it was dodgem time. Apparently these used to be travelling, but had now been fixed in place inside a giant shed. The whole thing gave the atmosphere of a night at the fairground, and the dodgems got faster half way though, and were Epic! They also let us stay on FTW!
Lunch was called, and we tried the restaurant upstairs, which is best described as a ‘1980s leisure centre café’. Basic food, but very reasonably priced. No one ate in the Thatched Café, which was actually a really pretty old farm building that smelt of yummy jacket potatoes.
Then it was time to check out the Time Warp, probably named as such because it defies anyone not to regress into a child of six. Time Warp is a huge indoor play area/assault course for adults and children. It included the Black Hole (aka Slide of Death) – a giant vertical slide that ate elbow skin. There were also gladiator style ropes and rings, and slides into ball pools. Basically a CFer’s heaven. I’ve no idea how long we were in there, but it felt like hours, and I was bruised and tired when I eventually emerged; this was partly due to the random child who tried to hump my leg in the ball pond, from who I’d tried to escape, but mainly due to the silly idea of giving the Slide of Death a launched start (this means you touch nothing but air until you hit the floor half way down, where upon, your spine compresses and you brain hits the top of your skull – I DO NOT recommend).
Then I think we did dodgems again, then re-rode Clone Zone (and did a group photo in the queue line), and then more dodgems of joy. We ended the day in the outside play area, where Ian fell off a zip line and Will lost his shoes on the swings. We battled the wind, and left Milky Way tired, but happy.
The only sad thing was that we didn't get to see this (sewn up planets FTW):
It was about another hour to the campsite, and the car of RAH got totally and utterly lost following Will. Richard decided he knew better, took the lead, and drove us up someone’s garden path. Unfortunately, Will followed us down said path, and I’m afraid to say there may have been some outdoor light casualties :roll: . We finally found the place and after a bit of a faff, got up tents and unpacked, then drove to Tesco to stock up on food and booze. Neal, Will, Richard and I opted for a BBQ, while others tried cooking on hobs, or just gave up completely and went for sandwiches! Unfortunately, the wind had started to get even stronger and we battled to keep the BBQ going until our pile of steaks had been done. They tasted lovely, but were a bit chewy, and on closer inspection it seemed that we had bought casserole steak. FAIL. Soon the hedgerow was festooned with semi-chewed meat gristle!
The meat to bread ratio was also fairly poor!
The sun started to set as we gathered under Vadge’s make-shift canopy to drink and talk. Although thankfully, the rain held off, the wind was very strong, and kept knocking over the tent poles to cries of PANIC! and F***axe! Jordan appeared in a bunny suit for some unknown reason! We played the ‘naming coasters alphabetically round in a circle’ game, until we all couldn’t help ourselves and began joining in on everyone else’s turn, at which point, Gavin pointed out it wasn’t so much a game, as just goons randomly mentioning coaster names; so we gave it up to shouts of Awooga! Goon alert! Ian then produced a bag of games such as foam airplanes, that couldn’t be used due to wind. Some peeps went to bed then, while the rest of us stayed up to drink more cider. I was feeling quite drunk when people began to clear up, and when someone passed me a bottle of strawberry Brothers, I thought nothing of downing the remnants. Who the hell was that? Bastards! It was basically just an ash tray in dregs of cider. Eurghhh. I then proceeded to vomit copiously behind a chair. :evil:
Later, we moved the party away from the tents and took the gas lamp up the steps to the patio. I went off to pee, and when I came back, was convinced someone was following me, but then realised it was my own shadow! Ohh dear… [strike]Ben[/strike] [edit: Ed, apologies for my terrible drunken memory] went somewhere, and when he came back, he was wearing his coat like a cloak, with the hood up. As he came into the lantern light, someone shouted ‘Scottish Widow’….and the rest is history. Neal and [strike]Ben[/strike] [Ed] proceeded to prance around with a lamp, with [strike]Ben’s[/strike] [Ed's] cape billowing in the wind :lol: :lol: :lol: I crumpled with laughter and tears, until I finally decided to call it a night.
The next morning, I got up early and sat with Ian and Vadge cooking bacon, drinking tea, and mending Will’s Force India shirt (that Brent the ballpool boy had ripped), until the rain began, and we all hurriedly got the tents down and headed off to Crealy. At some stage, Jordan retold the story of peeing in her bunny suit, but I’ll let her retell that one, lol! Unfortunately, there had been no electricity points at the campsite (insert one of Sue’s pissed off rants about UK campsites here) so I couldn’t charge my phone, hence no photos from Sunday, sorry folks.
We drove the short way to Cornwall's Crealy Great Adventure Park, and were greeted with a shop as an entrance, and the world's most annoying theme tune. Not the most pleasant entrance in my opinion, but there you are. The first thing we did was the Enchanted Forest walk though, which basically consisted of some painted MDF in a shed and some small animatronics. To be fair, even the 2 year olds looked bored. Then Vadge saw the porn ponies, or ‘fail mine train’ (due to its real name ‘Pony Express’) and got a bit excited, but she was spited as everyone else ran towards the cred. Morgawr was quite cute, nothing amazing, but well looked after. It was themed with stories of Cornish monsters (including one about a giant owl man that may have actually just been an owl) and an old fishing net! The monster looked ridiculously unscary and the music was some strange Cornish folk song. Richard and I got spited as the others all took up the first train, and we had to ride alone, Richard in the front, and me in the back. It was actually quite fast through the station.
I was wondering what else Crealy would have to offer after the cred was over – it turned out to be many, many slides. Every slide required a hessian mat, and we spent most of the day dragging mats up steps and getting quite exhausted. First was the curly slide, in which I got stuck; then came the bumpy slide, down which we could all race. Maddie went down, hilariously wiping out a small child along the way!!! Then we went on the Dizzy Dina ride, which was very odd. You sit in a tea cup affair, but as the ride goes round in a circle, you are jolted up and down. Some liked it, some didn’t. Personally, it made me remember the Brothers. As we got off, Jordan (who was wearing some ludicrously pink trousers that were offensive to anyone with a hangover) came rushing over all excited. We followed her to a kids play area consisting of some miniature houses. The first had some tiny, tiny slides and playthings in – Sam had somehow concertinaed his body into one and was having trouble getting back out again! Lol! Another had the scariest mural of Snow White I have ever seen – I thought she resembled the alien from Mars attacks, although Jake was just convinced she had a coke habit. We posed for a group photo amongst the mutant dwarves.
Then we went to ride the Beast, a tinsy, tiny drop tower. It was actually really cute, and made everyone have synchronised ohhs of delight with each light breeze. However, it took about an hour to return the ride to the ground once the cycle had finished, and I was not too happy about having a second go, seeing as how I was still feeling a bit queezy from the Brothers. Raging River was next – twin water slides down a hillside with dinghies - one with a big hump in the middle, and one with a big painful looking kink! I tried both, despite the huge trek up the hill back to the start; they were fab, spinning out at the last minute to make you go flying, and the ride op was hilarious! A bit painful on the arse though! Only Jake seemed to get wet, so we all pointed and laughed. It was at this point that we noticed the FAB old lady with the collapsible walking stick in a dinghy. She was loving it, dragging her daughter around and egging her on the whole time!
Then we did the Viking Warrior, which was a small pile of ship. I got to sit next to the child wearing a ridiculous superman banana costume (tell me someone got a picture, it was hilarious). Then we went over to the log flume Thunder Falls, and caught up with the FAB lady again; she and her daughter got drenched! We all had a go (I love the pink seats!) and I managed to almost kill Maddie by putting my feet up on the bars to keep them dry, and going flying into her back during the drop (sorry hun). We all got soaking wet. Jordan and Maddie then showed us the art of [strike]'benching'[/strike] [edit: 'planking']...I'm still confused!
Time for more slides (this time another vertical one) and zip lines to mess about on. Then I think we went on the helter skelter – two enclosed curly slides that wrapped around each other and had an endless number of steps. Neal and I decided that it would be fun to go down together. I went in front, but lost him half way down – then I heard the screams. Apparently the slide did not like Neal and had bent his hand back. When he got to the bottom, his hand was all swollen, and I actually thought he’d broken it for a while! Ekkk! We bandaged it later on. Poor Neal.
After making sure Neal was ok, we went into the Haunted Castle, which turned out to be another indoor play area - a complete maze of unlit corridors, crazy ropes and slides, and soft landings. There was another vertical slide, and some funky fun house style trick floor. The best bit was the entranceway that got narrower and narrower towards a door in true Willie Wonka style. Thanks Neal for making my life complete and singing the awesome Pure Imagination song!! At the end of the playhouse was yet another vertical slide, this time with a dip, into a ball pool!!! I think I’d reached vertical slide saturation point by then, and headed outside for a cold drink!
Sadly, people began to say their goodbyes, and we walked slowly back up the hill towards the exit via the petting zoo, cooing over baby bunnies, gaping at escapologist goats, and scratching piglets' backs. Bi’s were said and hugs given, and the car of RAH sped off towards….Tintagel (or nearest whole t'integer' </maths>)
We had lunch in a pub, and then the boys and I spent the afternoon having great fun at King Arthur’s castle and exploring caves on the beach. Neal taught us about the castle’s history, I showed everyone rocks and fault boundaries, and Richard clung on for dear life trying not to step in puddles and cursing his hang over. I have learnt that even though accountants may be loud, they are not to be confused with mountain goats! We also found a black ball from a ballpool in the car! Any ideas anyone??? It came up to the castle with us anyway, and became known as Sue’s Sphere of Suspicion. After nearly dying of exhaustion, walking back up the cliff, we headed for home. We only had one near death experience on the way home, at which point Richard instinctively shouted ‘S***axe!!!', and so a new curse was born!! There were more S***axe moments on the drive home, mainly caused by stupid Golf drivers, and the boys got to see my less friendly side as I swore at Golfs lol! Neal also obtained a water pistol from Burger King, much to his delight, my annoyance, and the amusement of the restaurant staff!! I got home eventually...tired, aching, and as always, extraordinarily happy...thanks all x
So that was it really...a rather uneventful weekend :wink:
Scottish Widows!!!
Haha, look at that picture of a cat, cat's so stupid.
OMG, I'm getting distracted.
OK... Tumblr...
GIF. GIF. LOOK AT THAT GIF.
HELL LOOK AT THOSE BOOBIES.
omg, Jenna, focus.
Awww, look at that girl's butt...
I'm so hungry. I want a cake. No, think of your butt. Think of your butt.
Am I gay?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT GUY'S DICK.
omg, Jenna, get some work done.
My ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend wants to be friends...
OH WHY DOESN'T HE LIKE ME ANYMORE.
Ugh, my butthole itches.
omg, I'm never gonna get anything done today.
OMG, I'm getting distracted.
OK... Tumblr...
GIF. GIF. LOOK AT THAT GIF.
HELL LOOK AT THOSE BOOBIES.
omg, Jenna, focus.
Awww, look at that girl's butt...
I'm so hungry. I want a cake. No, think of your butt. Think of your butt.
Am I gay?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT GUY'S DICK.
omg, Jenna, get some work done.
My ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend wants to be friends...
OH WHY DOESN'T HE LIKE ME ANYMORE.
Ugh, my butthole itches.
omg, I'm never gonna get anything done today.
Mysterious Sue
Strata Poster
nadroJ said:
Lol! I blame the Brothers!!!
Apparently my drunken memory can't be trusted either - it was Ed who was a Scottish Widow! I'm sure Ben was involved somehow - I'm sure I remember him prancing about! Ohh well, it was still the funniest moment of 2011 so far!