Robb Alvey's 2009 Scandinavian Parks Photo Trip Report

[robbalvey]

Hey everyone!

This year's "Big Europe Trip" for Theme Park Review was Scandinavia! We visited pretty much every major (and some not-so-major) park in Denmark, Sweden, Finland, and Norway.

There are a TON of photos (and we also took a lot of HD video that will be posted soon), so be prepared!

Enjoy the updates!

KLM = Scandinavia? Well, not quite, but we'll make a quick stop at Amsterdam on the way!

Yes, KidTums is only 2 years old and yes she has her very own iPod already!

OMG! OMG! LAND HO!!! (heh...I said ho)

Tivoli Gardens!!! We'll be seeing you in just a few days.

Yay! Our airport van has arrived to pick our lazy butts up!

Except our "van" ended up being a FULL SIZED COACH!!! TPR only travels in style!

Many of the usual suspects await in the lobby.

Our first stop...some traditional local cuisine at Freestyle Music Cafe.

Wow! KidTums says "Scandinavian Mac & Cheese tastes just like Kraft!" (No really, she talks now, she ACTUALLY said this!!!)

Ok everyone! Look at the camera and do something uniquely Scandinavian!"

Our next stop.... the land of the DOG FART COASTER!!!!

Big Mike's transportation has arrived!

Hello world! Meet this year's round of TPR travelers!

I love how we are traveling through Denmark following a giant American Cadillac!

"Welcome to Bon Bon Land - We hope you enjoy our farts, poops, and boobs!"

Is there any better way to start off a TPR trip than with ERT on the Dog Fart Coaster?

Please meet Henry, the most popular farting dog in theme park history!

"Ok everyone...get ready to be farted on!"

WATCH OUT FOR FLYING DOG POOP!!!

The spinning wild mouse was new from our last visit...actually, this is a spinning "Wild Cat"...and how do we know?

It's CLEARLY written on the side of the car!

You guys ready for the ... ummm ... "Wild Pussy?"

"Hey everyone! I have KidTums-sized rides ERT!"

And we round out our 2 hours of ERT on the world's first Euro Fighter!

Smiley Face = GOOD!
Sad Face = DEATH!

Pleasure or Pain? You decide!

Hello worlds first Euro Fighter!

Yay! It's awesome!

GRRRR!!! I'm the ANGRY worm! Gimme some apple!

Yup...peeing ant is still here.

"No hearts or embryos can be carried on this ride."

Could this be the worlds longest coaster train?

Yay! For long coaster trains!!!

For this being one of those Zierer family coasters, this ride totally kicked ass!

"Hello giant ant! How's it going? Mind if we slide out of your butt?"

"No, of course...not at all!"

"Bon Bon Land is KidTums friendly!"

"I'm King of the NERDS!"

The official TPR Scandinavia tour T-Shirt!

Check out Big Mike's BIG ...um... beak?

"It's themed to a giant chicken...DUH!!!"

"Welcome to Bon Bon Land" says the slightly intoxicated duck.

Anth has found a very comfortable place to sit down.

Jumpy, Jump, Jump, Jump, Jump!

The most important ERT of the day!

Hello Roller Coaster Tycoon!

KidTums is EASILY going to win this race!

OMG! What exactly is Big Mike doing to Chuck?!??!

Yes, you are seeing that correctly...that is a seagull crapping in an Alligator's mouth!

Bon Bon Land is based on candy produced by the company of the same name. The candy is themed around dog poops, boobs, and farts! No, seriously! It REALLY is!

"Thank you Bon Bon Land! We had an AWESOME day!!!"

Back at the hotel is the start of a new TPR trip tradition...the "Candy and Snacky Snack Snack Snack Snack Trading!"

Don't even THINK about touching Divv's Doritos!

Robb got Double Deckers and that is ALL that matters!

Thanks again for reading... Next Stop... Tivoli Gardens!

 

[Pierre]

Hahaha the Big Mike/Chuck photo is hilarious.

BonBon Land looks like your usual quirky park with not many major rides but lots of fun stuff to piss about with

 

[The Grape Wizard]

Looks like you had a great time! Nice report :--D .

BonBon land has got to be one of the wierdest parks ever!

 

[LiveForTheLaunch]

All I have to say is aww KidTums is cute and the park seems to have some weird theming .

Looks fun though.

 

[robbalvey]

Bon Bon Land really is one of the weirdest parks out there! It's awesome though. Not only does it have a strange theme but the rides are GREAT!

I will say though that the "potty humor" did seem slightly toned down from our last version, but it was still there.

Might be due to the new owners, not sure.

Anyway, thanks for reading!

--Robb

 

[Jake]

What sorta coaster count does Kidtums have now?!

This trip looked awsome, I just wish money grew on trees, that way I could have done this AND west coast, haha.

 

[robbalvey]

What sorta coaster count does Kidtums have now?!

I think she's actually close to about 40 credits now!

There were a few others we could have taken her on, but we thought it best not to since they were a little aggressive for her.

--Robb

 

[Martyn B]

^ Lol, what on earth would you have done if she didn't coasters? :lol:

 

[robbalvey]

^ Lol, what on earth would you have done if she didn't coasters? :lol:

Sell her on ebay.

--Robb

 

[Martyn B]

How rude! :lol:

I swear I have seen this picture before....

 

[robbalvey]

Today was Tivoli Gardens. The park was AWESOME! They treated us like royalty!

Our day started off with an hour ERT session on the "Rutchebanen" or the Scenic Railway...the classic traditional woodie built in 1914.

We then got to take a very in depth behind-the-scenes look at the ride, the work area, train shed, and climb all over the coaster...all while it was RUNNING!!!

We had some free time in the park and then was treated to another hour of ERT on Daemonen, the B&M floorless which could only be described as "cute." In fact, the ride is so cute that you just want to reach out and pet it.

But don't let it's cuteness fool you, it is very intense! It's almost like a "Floorless Batman."

After an hour riding, we had some local television crews with us to do interviews, etc and we got some ERT on Vertigo...the parks new INSANE flat ride that pulls 5 G's, flips you every way possible. It's just crazy.

Did I mention the park is insanely beautiful?

Anyway, onto the photos...

Another day, another TPR group photo!

You guys ready for some classic woodie ERT?

TAKE THE TUNNEL!!!

TPR ERT is always CRAZY!

Helllooooo brakeman...please don't kill us!

Get ready for some crazy airtime!

Theme Park Review loves the Rutchebanen!

Hey Lou! Watch that craaaazy hair!

Big Mike! SIT BACK DOWN!!!!

So THAT is what happened to that guy...

Would you let this man touch YOUR brakes???

Who would have thunk we could have so much fun on a ride that is nearly 100 years old!

Guess who they let be the "guest brakeman" for the day?

Welcome to your backstage tour TPR!

The backstage tour took us all over the ride!

Trainy, Train, Train, Train, Train!

Flanged wheels anyone?

This train is going NINETY DEGREES!!!!

"C'mon on in and check out this giant motor!"

"Ok everyone. Pretend like there is NOT a train going by!"

Robb's TV interview #1!

This machine is pure EVIL! Mum! Dad! DON'T TOUCH IT!!!

They look happy, but only because they have very relaxed sphincters having just emptied their bowels.

Another park that is "KidTums Approved!"

B&M ERT! YAY!!!!

Even though Daemonen en is "little" you get a nice view of Copenhagen from the top.

COASTER PORN!!!

LOOP - DEE - LOOOOOP!!!

There goes Lou with her crazy hair again...

Nice photo! I wonder if Hanno took that one?

Front seat - every expression from "I just sucked on a lemon" to "Wow! Crap is flying out of my pants!"

This...THIS is the most INSANE thing ever!!! It's called "Vertigo" and, you see, you can "control" it with a joystick....

And when you go into "Turbo" mode, all hair breaks looks!

Big Mike says "I rode it...and Jay Leno would be proud of me!"

You get 1 minute that is 5 g's worth of "Turbo Boost" and then 1 minute each on the joystick to turn the thing every direction possible.

Hot Fuzz Rich is just trying not to think about what is happening to him right now.

Can you spot the camel toe in this picture?

"Daddy, I've only been on the car ride 25 times...can I go again?"

KidTums CREDIT!!!!

Terry "OMFG, my hymen just popped" credit!

TPR take over at the bumper cars was pretty deadly...but not nearly as deadly as....

...the TPR takeover in the FUN HOUSE!!!

How many TPR members can we get on this rotating disc?

Assume the position!

"OW MY A$%!!!"

Dinner at Wagamama was amazing!

Here's to Tivoli Gardens for another AMAZING DAY! THANK YOU!!!!

Next Stop... Bakken!

And, oh yeah, I forgot to mention, we made DANISH TV! Check it out:
http://www.tv2regionerne.dk/?id=487653&r=5

 

[robbalvey]

Apologies for the lack of updates the past couple of weeks. We spend 21 days in China and Japan (those updates will be coming soon!)

Anyway, here is Bakken!

Just in case you forgot what park we were at today.

We arrive at the park and a pretty girl shows up to greet us. What could be better?

OMG! It gets better...they give us a pretty girl and FOOD!!!!

There's a joke in here about Craig and his two meaty balls or something, but I really can't be bothered to go looking for it.

After a nice presentation by the park, we were treating to an hour of ERT (Exclusive Ride Time) on their Scenic Railway (the Rutchebanen!)

This woodie had some SERIOUS airtime and for being like 80 years old, that was pretty amazing.

Lots of open mouths hoping to catch some Danish flies.

Mark demonstrates the "OMFG! My balls are smashed against the lapbar" expression.

Mr. Brakeman has the coolest job in the world. I think I'm going to apply to take on that position.

I got the job!!!

No, I'm totally serious! There is me being the brakeman through the entire ride!

Yes, that is Robb...playing the role of Mr. Brakeman...with everyone's lives on the train in his hands...and they all seem to be "OK" with it!!!

What started out as a "TPR Takeover" at the mine train turned into a mini-ERT session with the ride's owner giving us 2 or 3 laps for everyone in our group!

"Let's hear it for our third ride in a row!"

"OMG! I just saw Ethel Merman!"

Big Mike's tounge gets the Mine Train credit!

KidTums! ATTACK!!!!

TPR Takeover of the bumper cars!

Yes, that translates into "Afro Cups!"

"Yo Elephant...I'm gonna pop a cap in yo ass!"

The "mouse trap" game???

Let me introduce you to one of the most insane, intense, awesome, and "EVIL" coasters ever! Tornado!

DO NOT BE FOOLED by this looking like your "average spinner." The lift hill "launches" you over the top and OMFG with the right weight balance you won't be able to see anything for the next 45 seconds!

They allowed us to mount our cameras to the ride...let's have a look at some rider reactions to that lift launch, shall we?

Steve gained 500lbs getting launched over the hill.

Right seat - punched in the nuts
Left seat - Castrated by a blast of wind

These guys look the most calm, but they spun the most!

Jes does popeye, and OMFG Lou! Where did those veins come from? And that HAIR?!!?

KidTums Frog Hopper credit!

The Bakken Frog Hopper is KidTums APPROVED!

WTF IS THAT?!?!?

So far, all Scandi parks have been KidTums approved!

Bakken has that "traditional park" feel to it. Lots of older style buildings, food everywhere you turn around, and TONS of rides.

Big Mike & Josh are having a good ride on the mine train, but I'm more interested in what Divv and Andrew are about to do in the seat behind them!

Strike a pose!

WATCH OUT FOR ATTACKING LOCUSTS!!!!

Another credit for KidTums!

It's a good thing she likes roller coasters!

"Hi, I'm cute....I'm REALLY cute. You should send me something because I'm cute. If you want to send me stuff...whatever...it doesn't matter. Send it to: KidTums Alvey, 24707 Riverchase Dr #7203, Valencia, CA 91355. Send me lots of stuff! I'm CUTE!!!"

The ghost train was quite heart attack enducing. Watch out for the guy in the ski mask!

And we leave Bakken with Kidtums getting another credit! I think she now has more internationsl credits than US ones!

On the bus we watched episodes of "Yo Gabba Gabba!"

Our journey tonight included a ferry over to Germany.

At the Duty Free shop we stocked up on some nessesary supplies.

At the hotel we had a group dinner... "There's a party in my tummy...so yummy, so yummy!"
(ps. I find it amusing how they put USA flags on the tables even though only about 60% of the group was American! Oh well...it was the thought that counts!)

Next up! Hansa Park!

 

[marc]

Cool report reminds me of the live this year.

Must have been great being the brake man

 

[robbalvey]

^ It was kind of a surreal experience. "All these people's lives are in my hands! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

:lol:

 

[marc]

Once in a life time thing, seeing that next year there wont be a brake man

Tornado was bloody good was not expecting the speed of it.

 

[robbalvey]

^ Yeah, that was certainly a bummer to hear they are removing the brakemen and getting new trains next year.

Perhaps they can sell the old trains to the efforts at Margate.

--Robb

 

[robbalvey]

Next was Hansa Park...the "original Legoland." And yes we know that this park isn't part of "Scandinavia" it was close enough to where it was easy to hit while touring the Scandi parks.

The park though, is undergoing many changes and has vastly improved since our last visit in 2005.

New this year was "Fluch von Novgorod" which is the first ever Gerstlauer launched Euro-Fighter!

It's kind of part Mystery Mine, part Revenge of the Mummy. We are told that many of the effects and theming won't be installed until this fall, but what they have already is still better than 90% of the theming on most US coasters!

Anyway, onto some photos...

In order to get to Hansa Park you need to walk over the bridge "Astroworld style" from the parking lot to the park.

Welcome to Hansa Park...do something stupid.

The park made us a sign! They get bonus points. We love these guys!

The park president came out and gave us a presentation about how they are going to make the park kick even more ass.

Here is the new coaster. "Fluch von Novgorod." If you think you can pronounce this correctly, record yourself saying it and send an MP3 file of your pronunciation to Dan! mrt0ad13@aol.com The winner gets a bag-o-crap!

Candles = theming!

Red head Swedes & bus drivers are your friends...so be nice to them.

The indoor part of the ride features these creepy animatronic scarecrows. The whole opening part of the ride before the launch reminded me a lot of Mystery Mine.

This airtime hill delivered airtime faster than Jeff Johnson can spank four naked babies.

Vladmir says "Rock my world Lou and I'll give your pants a funny tickle."

It's a pretzel turn...kind of like on Magnum...but with a LOT less suck!

WTF is a Wolkow?!?!? Is that a cow on a wall?

Gerstlauer zero-G roles are really, really sexy and make even sterile men horny.

This is the part of the ride that will receive more theming at the end of the year. Honestly, it was already awesome!

That shiny stuff you are seeing is the acid theming eating away at the riders flesh.

We took over the Schwarzkopf looper.

Yeah, ok, that caption sucked...sue me!

Can someone please remove that flag out of my head? Thank you!

If you can spot the "coaster porn" in this picture, email dan and tell him where it is - mrt0ad13@aol.com. He will send you $10*

*This is totally a lie.

Ladies, please, do me a favor and take Hanno out and show him a good time. (and when I say show him a good time I mean have dirty nasty fun with him that will make his pelvis sore for a week.)

KidTums rode the Roller Skater and she freaking *LOVED* it.

"Hey Wes! I'm having sex with a giraffe!"

The banana boat ride = awesomeness.

Guys, it says "Crazy" Mine, not "Retarded" Mine.

When you wear your TPR pancho chicks will come flying at you. No, seriously, it's like one of those tennis ball machines...but with chicks.

Craig is still here trying to figure out how to get the raft to move from point A to point B.

HOLD EVERYTHING! Screw riding any roller coaster...SHOW ME TO THE TOPLESS MERMAID IN THE WATER ATTRACTION!!!!

This is a public service message from TPR to all theme park operators. This is an AMAZING idea. A totally padded childrens play area in the MIDDLE of the restauraunt. Where the parents can eat while the kids play. Why don't more parks have something this awesome? WHY?!?!?

OMG is that bacon wrapped asparagus? Between this and the topless mermaid attraction I'm never leaving this park!

"Ok, time to find out who's going to eat the cracker!"

The park really is beautiful. It reminds me of a more compact Heide Park.

This bizarre "double Bayern Curve" is themeed to a mexican village....yup!

Holy Clamshells Batman! I actually FOUND the topless mermaid attraction!!!

The world will end on October 6th, 2009.

There aren't many rides out there that have the potential for poop to start flying out of my butt. The Starflyer is one of them!

Being constipated on the Starflyer is a very dangerous thing

Again, guys, it's the "Crazy" Mine, not the "Mentally challenged" Mine.

Big Mike is DAMN sure!!!!

The bouncy bubbles are totally amazing. They are like part trampoline / part bouncy castle...completely awesome!

All TPR members love to bounce!

OMG, my ass has totally been lifted off the ground.

KidTums will soon be starting "FrogHopperReview.com"

OMG! RUN! IT'S COMING RIGHT FOR US!!!

By the end of this trip, KidTums will be a card carrying member of the NRA.

"Two men enter...One man leaves."

Hansa Park has added a ropes course attraction much like the one at Toverland. It looked awesome.

German Graffiti?

"Oh, good! I needed to buy a new afro."

We found this cardboard cutout of Big Mike in the middle of this little German town! he's so famous!

Rich is just hanging out in the s****y German McDonalds.

Elissa got another McDonalds credit! "These French Fries turn me on! Oh, french fries...do me!"

Next stop...back to Denmark!

 

[robbalvey]

Today we hit two parks - Sommerland Syd and Legoland.

Sommerland Syd isn't a very big park, but it seems like a nice place for locals to spend an afternoon. It's mostly a water park with a few rides. Seems like a perfect place for a school outing, etc.

They are also home to the world's first Vekoma Invertigo which oddly enough was great!

Next was Legoland Billund which is the "original" Legoland (well, after they left Hansa Park) and it's probably the nicest of them all. It's at least bigger than the other two I've been to and seemed to have the most attractions.

Their "Robocoaster" ride was very impressive being all indoors and not only allowed you to select the level of intensity, but also allowed you to select what maneuvers your Robocoaster arm did.

Onto some photos...

Driver! Follow that sign!!!!

Apache Stein looks like one of those trails you probably won't make it back from! =)

Hellllooooo Vekoma Invertigo. We'll get back to you later.

Let's see...it's cold...it's a bit rainy...what ride should we do first?

Well, we're already a bit wet, so why not do the water ride? From the outside, the water ride looks quite standard...but let's have a look at the bizarre dark ride section...

Yes, you are seeing this correctly, the log flume is themed to cannibalism!

And not just normal cannibalism, politically incorrect cannibalism!

It's funny because it sounds like "Ham"burger, but it's a "Hand"...like a human hand.

You know...maybe this wasn't such a good idea!

Yes, that is a human powered looping bicycle ride.

Someone's gotta fix that kink in the water slide!

"It's cold, it's rainy, I saw people eating people...what's next?"

Yay! The Vekoma is open!

These are expressions of pleasure. Pure pleasure. Like a lap dance or a night where you need multiple tubes a lube. That kind of amazing pleasure.

These expressions are using a lot less lube.

Oh goody...a non-looping Pinfari to kill us a little bit more!

Why does everyone today look like they are going to "nun school?"

Next up...Legoland!

We have found Lego Danish Mexicans.

Credit whores? Yup.

"This is a ride sign. Our goal is to have every ride in the park index to have a ride sign. Take pictures of them. DO IT!"

Here is a "never in America" type of moment. Let's just take a look at this for a second. These are kids baking bread over an open fire. Now, let's just think about this concept from the American lawyer's perspective. "So you want to have a bunch of kids stand around an OPEN FIRE and give them something RAW that could make them sick if they eat it? SURE!!! Let's put that in our park!" (This is why I like going to European parks!)

"Legoldmine." See, it works because the "go" is part of Lego and part of Gold.

Legoland is TPR approved!

Rapids ride with a huge drop! (Yes it had Lego water.)

Yay! Extreme Racers take over!

Big Mike and his hero, Indiana Lego.

Lego naked guy.

KidTums gets another kiddie coaster credit!

Lego A380.

Lego fish.

Big Mike hits on our bus driver in the tunnel of fish.

We should tell her "Big Mike has crabs!"

That is one UGLY fish!

ROBB! DO NOT EAT THE FISH!!! THEY ARE NOT APPETIZERS!!!

Big Mike needs food badly!

The Robocoaster attraction, "Power Builder" was awesome!

First you choose the intensity level 1-5.

Then you get to choose what you want your program to do!

And then your off on your own customized ride of torture!

The Fire Academy is one of my favorite attractions of all time. The concept is quite simple. You get into a team of 5 people and all teams jump into a fire truck and race to the fire!

Once you get to the fire your team needs to work together to pump the water and aim the cannon.

GO TEAM IGNITE!!! GO!!!!

TEAM IGNITE IS THE WINNER!!!!

"Sorry Team Big Mike, next time...REMATCH!!!!"

And we'll end this update with a random chainsaw bunny group photo!

Next stop...Farup Sommerland!

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot.... Read this sign...READ IT! Read it out loud! When you figure out what it says...EMAIL DAN!!! mrt0ad13@aol.com

ps. If anyone is interested in our 2010 Trips, we are having a LIVE CHAT on Wednesday, October 7th to discuss them. CLICK for more info!

 

[robbalvey]

Next was Farup Sommerland.

- This is still one of my favorite parks in the region.
- It poured down rain for the first half of the day, but the park still manags to be AWESOME!
- The obstacle course was still kick A$$.
- Many people did the monkey bars (SUCK IT JOEY!!!)
- Lynet is a WINNER!
- I love this park!

Group photo. We're wet, but it doesn't matter!

Lynet is still fairly new and is a HIT! TPR loved it!!!

Yay for Gerstlauer flips!

Quick drop out of the station, and then LAUNCH!

Proof that not just Intamin can do a kick ass top hat!

Mr. Signature move & Mr. Happy Happy Joy Joy.

Which is sexier Hanno or the squirrels? If you know EMAIL DAN! mrt0ad13@aol.com

Holy Jesus Mother of Airtime, Batman!

To help warm us up, the park gave us coffee and warm bread! Thank you Farup!

Falken was also running great!

Wait...WTF is that?

That my friends is the "SWORD OF POWER!!" The goal during our rides on Falken was to pass the sword of power from the front to the back of the train and EVERY person on the train MUST touch the sword of power!

PASS THE SWORD OF POWER!!!

Who has the SWORD OF POWER???

There it is!

The sword of power....EXCALIBUR!!!
(Try not to drop it, Dave.)

These are the most industrial strength ponchos, EVAR!

Kristen rode the cars about 20 times. She's now eligible to get her drivers license.

Takeover on the carousel!

TPR Takeover of the dry spot under the awning waiting for the rain to pass!

The 'all you can drink' beer warmed us all up at lunch!

"Aww, what the hell...we're already wet!"

This credit is KidTums approved!

And now for the most awesome part of the day...the Farup obstacle course!

Multi-car pile up!

Big Mike balances like a ballerina!

Hey Joey...check this out!

How many TPR members can make it across the monkey bars? SUCK IT JOEY!!!!

Let's see how deep this water actually is...

Looks to be about 1 meter.

and OMFG, we are not joking...it's filled with LEECHES!!! LOL!!!

Jewy, c'mon...even Tom did the monkey bars!!!

"Hey, Joey...if *I* can do this, anyone can do it!"

On the drive it was time for some more "Yo Gabba Gabba!"

Snacky Snack Snack Snack Snack....

Hanno! DO NOT EAT DAVE!!! He is not kosher!

Everyone is passed out because we unleashed evil gas in the bus.

Next stop...Tivoli Friheden!

 

[bezzzzzer]

Awesome, I'm lovin' it! It's cool to see different aspects of the parks and not just coaster after coaster after coaster. That being said, I haven't heard of many of these parks anyway.

I need to get my ass across the Channel more often.