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Phantasialand Wintertraum

Will

Strata Poster
I've just noticed Pink Panther has beaten me to this. Oh well - have another Phantasialand review, and the first Will style trip report in... a long time.

For various reasons, 2016 has not been a great year for either travel or new creds (just TWO new foreign creds prior to this trip!!!) and so, with a few days leave to take in December and a much lauded new coaster to try out, it was finally time for a first trip to Phantasialand since 2011.

The 7 hour journey began at 5:00 on Wednesday morning, and the advantages of travelling alone quickly became apparent – not only were no nasty surprises likely at the airport, but I also didn’t have to deal with being sociable at an ungodly hour; though I’d somehow managed to sneak between 6 and 7 hours sleep.

I’d flown into Dusseldorf airport (as the flights worked out cheaper than a return from Crewe to Euston) and hired a car to avoid the hassle of trying to work out German public transport. I immediately decided Dusseldorf was an excellent airport as I managed to get from plane seat to airport exit in around 10 minutes, but the best surprise of the trip was still to come. “We give you nice car,” explained the man behind the counter “You like German engineering?” and he proceeded to hand over the keys to a BMW. I’d only asked for a mid-range Ford Focus or similar, so this was exciting. Admittedly, I wasn’t exactly thrilled at the prospect of having to learn to drive it from the 6th floor of a fairly narrow multi-storey, but to my amazement, I arrived in Bruhl an hour later without any serious panics. Alas, I’d not learned how to work the radio, meaning the soundtrack to my journey was terrible, but my mood was high enough that I caught myself singing along to Mariah Carey and Coolio at some points.

Arriving at the car park, I realised I was in full on over-excited-child mode, to the extent that I had to run into Hotel Matamba in search of a toilet. It would be an understatement to say that I was impressed by my first impressions of the hotel, but I’d have to wait to see the rest – it was 1PM and the park was calling me.

Phantasialand is a strange park, in that, particularly in daytime, the main entrance is a particularly bland affair, and you enter to no particular fanfare until you reach the Berlin area. I’d worked out a vague plan of the rides I wanted to do first, and followed the signposts towards Africa and Black Mamba. A problem I’ve had with this park in the past is that it gets busy too easily and many of the queue lines are not pleasant to stand in – but although the overflow carparks were in use and the main area thick with excitable Germans, there was no queue for Mamba, even with one train. I’d forgotten just how good this ride is, and had 4 rides in quick succession. To my confusion, I decided it was better at the front, and there’s a corner around halfway through the layout where the force and acceleration are pure joy – alas, the final few corners snaking their way back to the station still exist, and it’s the fault of this section that the coaster, as stunning as it undeniably looks, just isn’t able to compete with the Nemesises and Katuns of this world. Although by no means uncomfortable, it had also become rather more rattly than I remembered, and I also disliked the steep hill between the ride’s exit and its entrance, which made a whoring session rather more exercise than I’d have liked! After this, I grabbed a coffee (accidentally ordering it black) and stood on the bridge beneath the loop for a while. I decided this was my ‘happy place’. I also came to the conclusion that it was difficult to do the ride justice through photos, especially when trains were being dispatched so infrequently.

Whilst this is perhaps no bad thing, I’ve always said that Phantasialand is full of rides that look better than they actually are, inadvertently making them the architects of their own demise. Prior to 2016, no ride was a better example of this than Talocan. Talocan is without doubt the most attractive flat ride I’ve ever seen – to the extent that it belies the fact that it is a huss topspin and will therefore ride like a huss topspin. As such, for a third time in 8 years, I became starry-eyed and was suckered into riding. Due to the December weather (although it remained dry throughout my visit, and was a fair few degrees warmer than Cheshire had been in the preceding days), two thirds of the rides seats were closed off, meaning a slightly longer wait. The ride was moreorless how I remembered it, so I wasn’t sure if I enjoyed it or not – certainly, I was in no hurry to ride again, partly because I’d had to leave my coat on the ride platform and it was now: damp.

Heading deeper into Mexico, I went to watch Chiapas for a bit – this was one of my most anticipated rides of the trip, but as I didn’t know how wet it would be, I didn’t fancy riding just yet. One minor niggle was that all the promotional material I’d seen for the Wintertraum event showed fire cannons at the bottom of the last drop, which looked amazing, and I’m sad to say I never got to see these in action.

Continuing down the path, I inevitably found myself in Klugheim, and… proceeded to wander aimlessly, staring at my surroundings in utter wonderment. However, I’d been advised against rushing straight to Taron and had decided to wait until sunset, meaning Raik was my destination this time around. Again, there was no queue, so I had a ride at the front, then another at the back, just to make sure. In true Phantasialand style, this is the best of the three family boomerangs I’ve done, and this is entirely down to its appearance. Though it will inevitably be forgotten when sat next to Taron, I declared it ‘more than +1’ and put it on a par with Thirteen - I think this was an excellent way of ensuring the new area also featured an attraction for smaller guests, or those who prefer a less generous helping of thrill from their rides.

With no queue in the park longer than 10 minutes and many rides already accomplished in just over an hour, I’d realised I could take the day at a much more leisurely pace – which was just as well, as I was quickly realising I didn’t know my way around the park at ALL. I passed River Quest around this time, and noted with mild disappointment that it was closed – I think it was the only major ride not to operate during Wintertraum, and with the weather and what must be ludicrous running costs, it wasn’t really a surprise – but I had a hotel room and a change of clothes in the car, so I’d have still done it for ****s and giggles!

At this point, I realised I was outside Mystery Castle, which was a must, as I realised that it also had a 0 minute queue. Having the castle building to myself was a strange experience, and gave me chance to appreciate the indoor theming, as I wandered down to the platform at a leisurely pace. The ride was just as fab and as ridiculous as I remembered it being, though the ride felt very short – I felt that a longer cycle could have been run with the park as quiet as it was.

It was now after 3:00, meaning I could make a detour to the hotel if I got upsettingly wet, so I decided to try out Chiapas. As I mentioned, I knew absolutely nothing about this ride, except that it was likely to be considerably better than the old log flume and that the final drop looked almost as crazily steep as those on River Quest. Both of these assumptions turned out to be correct, and I also managed to get a boat to myself, which was nice. The highlight, as I’ve mentioned elsewhere, was definitely the flashing disco rave skulls of WTF, as well as the soundtrack (which I’m pleased to say, I’ve just found on Spotify). Although the level of wetness delivered was ideal for December, I’d like to think it gets riders more wet in the Summer months – I’m no expert on such things, but I’d guess that a lower water level was being run? Anyway, all I got was a mild misting, meaning I could carry on without the need for a tactical change of clothes.

I also grabbed a quick ride on Colorado Adventure. This ride has not aged well, and stopped for a minute or so on the final lift hill, for reasons I wasn’t entirely sure of. The train was full of excitable German children who were screaming and shouting every few seconds – in England, this would have been annoying as hell, but here it was difficult to resist joining in. As ever, the interaction with the theming is spot on and I like the look of the ride – but the roughness was severely unappreciated. I’d also got into my head that they’d put VR on it, and was pleased when I found I’d clearly made this up.

During Chiapas, I’d realised I was annoyingly hungry, having not eaten since a sausage bloomer at Manchester airport, so a mildly frustrating session of wandering around the park looking for food ensued. I vaguely recalled an amazing buffet restaurant from 2010, but couldn’t remember where it was (apparently, it closed early, which didn’t seem to make much sense, but there we go…) and instead ended up at a snack stand in Wurzetown, where I had a bit of downtime next to a camp fire, whilst enjoying chips and bratwurst.

Whilst studying the map during lunch time, I’d remembered that Temple of the Night Hawk existed; although I don’t believe this ride deserves half the hate it gets, I admit that I’d totally forgotten about it. As such, I decided to ride this before doubling back towards Winjas. However, being able to look at things properly instead of running around in a half-frenzied cred run meant I realised just how run down the area of the park to the left of Wurze town has somehow become, and I think this is made all the more glaringly obvious when contrasted with the rest of the park. Night Hawk’s queue line and station look like something Merlin would happily sign off on, and the ride itself was sadly forgettable – I won’t be in as much of a hurry to speak up for it again in future.

I’m not sure what was happening in Wurzetown on Wednesday, but it meant the back entrance to Winjas was being used, and this consisted of a lengthy staircase, which was a little Thorpe-esque in its appearance and made getting to the station a frustrating experience. Queuing for Winjas is never enjoyable, but it took less than 10 minutes to get onto Force. I’ll agree that the Winjas coasters don’t have a huge amount of re-rideability, but 5 years seems a suitable amount of time to forget the surprise elements, and so this ended up being a better ride than I was expecting. I didn’t fancy the staircase again though, and decided to save Fear for the following day.

By 4:30, the early morning was starting to catch up with me, and I’d ridden everything I wanted to for the time being, so I went to check into the hotel. The reception staff were really nice, and looking at my booking confirmation seemed genuinely flattered that people that I’d travelled from Manchester just for the park. The rest of the hotel isn’t quite as pretty as the reception, but the room was comfortable and had everything it needed (except wireless internet… and a kettle…) – as well as having Christmas lights and a B&M invert just outside the window. This made me happy, and the complimentary German Christmas biscuits were also much appreciated.

Half an hour’s much-needed peace and quiet later, it had gone dark and I made my way back into the park. The carousel, the Berlin area and especially the waveswinger were all beautifully illuminated, and again, I spent a fair amount of time just sitting and looking at things. At long last, I decided it was time to ride Taron – but just as I joined the single-rider line, it had an attack of Intamin syndrome and packed up, so I decided to come back later, and went to ride Mamba in the dark instead. I met a fellow goon in the front row line, and we discussed Nemesis and Europa Park etc. in varying broken German/English (she kept calling everything special. Probably including me). Another thing which quickly became apparent was that riding in the dark at Phantasia was just that; the ride areas had none of the excessive light pollution we kept over here, and trains on Mamba and Taron especially just disappeared into the inky blackness, the only illumination being festive lighting on buildings, or the that necessary to keep pathways visible. Whilst still no Nemesis, a dark front-row ride on Mamba was indeed ‘special’ – just that alone would have been worth the long trip!

I forget the exact order and have no pictures to remind me, but also rode Maus au Chocolat and Geister Rikscha during the evening. I hadn't done the former before, and whilst I liked it, despite not being very good at it, I'd have preferred the conventional shooting at theming to the 3D screens, as these can start to get a bit headachy and repetitive after a while. It's perfect for its target audience though and was one of the busier rides due to the number of families on park in the evening; all the family I was sat with scored better than me, and tried (in German) to explain their technique to me. As for Geister Rikscha - it's... far from being a conventional ghost train, but it does make me laugh. It's also a good ride to sit down and unwind on.

More wandering around and appreciating the views (apparently there was a light show in Mexico, around the back of Talocan, which seemed to draw a large crowd, but which I somehow managed to miss both nights) later, and nearly being knocked over backwards by the scent of alcohol which hung heavy in the air in China, I finally found myself back at a now fully operational Taron.

Although much of the crowd was still congregated around the temporary ice rink in Berlin, Taron was now busier than before, but the single-rider line moved efficiently, before finally sticking me in the second row. There was much excitement ahead of my first ride, which I’d spent the last few months hearing nothing but good things about… but I’m going to be blunt at this point, and say that when it came down to it, it simply didn’t deliver – I got some slightly strange looks on returning to the station and remarking… “I… DON’T get it?!” I never did work out the German for overrated, but… assuming I must have been doing something wrong, got back into the queue for a further two rides – ending up towards the front of the train on each occasion, annoyingly. Including the second launch, there are three utterly stunning moments on the ride – due to these, it avoids being entirely mediocre, and there’d probably be a fourth if there wasn’t a trim brake of WHY before one of the airtime hills. The rest of the ride is made up of a succession of high speed corners, which at best do next to nothing, and at worst feel like they’re trying to forcibly eject you from the train. Once again, it seemed a classic example of Intamin doing what they COULD do, instead of what they SHOULD - there are too many corners at silly angles and not nearly enough substance. After watching the POV a few times and being non-plussed, I really, really hoped I’d be wrong and that this ride would be the second coming of which so many people speak – a time when Intamin’s best European launched coaster would be a bit closer than Italy. To my disappointment – it was not to be, and this was, in fact, the most disappointed I’d been by a ride since Daemonen or Karacho. I don't hate it by any stretch of the imagination though, and what I’ll happily (and repeatedly) say in defense of Taron, is just how good it looks – aside from that ugly area where the rockery ends and a green fence begins, it’s one of the most attractive coasters I’ve ever seen, but as with Talocan, I’m much happier watching than riding. The trains and restraints also both deserve praise - there's a fair few of intamin's older models that would be made a lot more bareable with these restraints fitting.

Assuming anyone’s still reading at this point, rather than writing me hate mail, I had another ride or two on Mamba to cheer myself up, then headed to Berlin for the end of day show. This was the point when the crowds finally showed up (I dread to think what this area will be like once schools break up) meaning it was now impossible to get to anywhere with a view of the ice rink. I made out the show as best as I could from the back, but was only really able to enjoy the fireworks. I also discovered that alcohol-free mulled wine (or gluhpunsch) is a bit fab, though again, the smell of it can get a bit much when everyone in a crowd is knocking it back. The promised firework display was only 3-5 minutes long, but still very good – and I was driven mad by having the soundtrack from it (Spirit of Light, Illuminate…) stuck in my head for the next few hours.

By now, the park had closed, and it was time to head back to the hotel room. Despite the lack of wi-fi, the internet in my room was strong enough that I was able to watch the Stoke game (finishing a disappointing 0-0, and with my favourite player being shown a very harsh red card). Also, despite my plans to behave and focus on the coasters on this trip, I’ve never been able to resist a German theme park bar, and made friends with the bored barman who made recommendations in between making me Godfather cocktails (nice ones – not the **** you get in Wetherspoons) to take back to my room, until I finally decided it was time for sleep.

Overall, though I’m aware I’ve raised a few negative points in this report, I’d call this the second best day I’ve had at Phantasialand – despite the lack of company, it was nice to do everything at my own pace and have time to soak up my surroundings, and actually, even with the park as quiet as it was, I think the addition of Taron has upgraded this to a ‘two day park’, so there’s more to follow from Thursday. After a very bipolar day on park back in April 2011, I’d been a bit cynical about Phantasia and more of a Europa fanboy, but now there’s less to pick between them. As a Christmas break for an enthusiast, I’d recommend this to anyone – unless you’re one of these crazy people who likes DLP, you’d struggle to do much better.

And now… for some pictures. Agreed, I should have broken up the text with them, but I didn’t want to faff about finding links when I was in full writing flow.

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Intamin delivered a coaster that's practically flawless for their client who is over the moon with it. It seems like you overhyped yourself for Taron in your own mind but simply put, to say it's mediocre is completely farcical and you're wrong
 
Omg you were there on Wednesday too! Looking through your pictures It's just struck me that I'd love a night ride on Chiapas.
I agree that Berlin was very crowded that night and they wou;dn't let you leave the park while the show was on so I just went for a walk around Klugheim.
I definitely disagree about Taron though, but then again I'm one of those crazy people who like DLP :p
 
Well, at the risk of sounding like my Mum, it’d be very boring if we all liked the same things (and B&Ms and Macks would get awful queues!) And in fairness, I don’t dislike DLP nearly as much as I pretend to, but it was very busy, tiring and stressful last time I went, and given the choice, I’d pick Phantasia, Europa or various others over it anytime.

As for Taron – as I say, I did really want to like it, so nobody was as sad as I was when it wasn’t another Helix – there must just be things it does that everybody else enjoys and I simply don’t. I don’t want anyone to think I’m hating on it just to be difficult!

The area was closed off for half an hour or so due to crowds/fireworks, but compared to Alton/Lego etc. I was happy with how quickly it was reopened, even with the floor covered in firework shells and gunpowder.

Anyway – onto Thursday, when I awoke to the sound of the B&M roar outside my window, and slightly cross with myself for the strong taste of bourbon that lingered in my mouth and caused me to miss breakfast. I did have breakfast the next morning, which was the only food I ate in the hotel – it was OK, but their obsession with sweet potato was a little perplexing, and the lurking mascot weirded me out a bit. Anyway, I carried on with the plan I’d made before the trip, collected the car and headed to Kerpen, where I had a McDonalds and then went karting, as it’s become tradition that I visit the Michael Schumacher track when I’m in the area. A group had hired the track out until 12:30, but once they left, I found I had the track to myself. It was nice not having to get out of people’s way and again going at my own pace, but checking the results I found that despite my consistency, I was around 5 seconds a lap slower than I’d been in 2011, therefore lapping slower than Sue, AJ, Nic and Richard did on that trip. Although I only spun out once, there was a burdenous corner near the start of the track that I never did get the hang of, and I fear that hitting the barrier in 2010, as well as a very nasty car crash a few years back meant I wasn’t nearly as brave on the accelerator as I used to be. I’d also like to apologise to the population of Kerpen for my inability to drive the BMW on a carpark; navigating the town was not an enjoyable experience!

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By 2pmish, I was back on park, electing to take today at a more leisurely pace, as I’d got the vast majority of rides I was interested in ticked off the previous day. I started out by having 2 or 3 more rides on Taron to give it another chance, ending up nearer the back of the train this time, but found this made little difference and although I enjoyed it more without the weight of expectation, it was still lacking.

I wandered about Klugheim taking pictures and enjoying the views for a while, then headed to the Dragonny shop near Wurztown, as Neal had non-too-subtlely told me to buy him a Christmas present. Another thing I liked about Phantasia was that, whilst merchandise was available, it wasn’t constantly shoved in your face the way it usually is in theme parks – there were shops if you wanted them, but they were set out separately, rather than there being one at every ride exit. The merch wasn’t great, unless you liked Dragons, but I liked the clashing mixture of music in the shop, as one end had Christmas songs, while the other end shouted ‘CHIAPAS!’ at regular intervals. I bought a pen for work – I realise I sit next to a little bit of a theme park geek who used to work at Towers and admits he still obsessively follows their construction work.

Next, I had a quick ride on Winjas Fear, which again had a relatively short queue, and immediately remembered why I rate this so much higher than Force. Out of total curiosity, I went on Hollywood Tour next, which I wasn’t sure if I’d ever done before, and so I felt I needed to check it out. It’s another one of those not-so-gracefully ageing dark, boat rides, but still better than any we have over here. I enjoyed the monkeys and the underwater scene, and also laughed a lot at the family group who were in my boat, as the German they were speaking was simple enough for me to understand – especially the guy who kept shouting ‘zu langsam!’

I didn’t feel that there was anything left to ride in Wurztown now, as the family rides were either queuey or looked sickly, so, after a coffee in China, I went to find out what Das Verruckte Hotel Tatuff was; it turned out to be a very silly fun house, but, considering I was on my own, I had more fun in here than I expected to, though a bit tired and sweaty when I came out. It helped that there was nobody to laugh when I inevitably fell over, or to mess up my very dodgy scales on the floor piano.

I managed to find the restaurant I’d wanted to eat at on Wednesday, but it was clearly in the process of closing, so all I got was a schweinschnitzel and a few rather sorry looking chips which had clearly been hanging around. In fairness, this was my fault for poor organisation. Wanting to keep another of my Phantasialand traditions, I had a waffle and a coffee afterwards, which was fab. It was tempting to watch the show, which was starting in 2 minutes, but I figured I wouldn’t understand most of it, so decided not to in the end – it wasn’t the usual magic show, and was more family friendly and Christmas orientated.

For a while, I just sat on a bench in Berlin, watching the world go by, and enjoying the weirdly good mood I was understandably in – I even caught myself singing to Christmas songs a couple of times, and was heard to remark ‘this must be how normal people feel at Disneyland!’ I didn’t do a lot else in the afternoon, thinking about it – it was a lot of sitting or wandering around looking at things, though I did make time to ride Chiapas in the dark (which was very good) at Mamba in the dark (which was also very good). I was going to have another few rides on Taron, but it got too busy and I lost interest. Thursday was a bit colder and busier, so after a final ride on Mamba, I went back to the hotel to warm up for a bit and post some thoughts online, returning in time for the Magic Rose, which I’d decided I wanted to see properly to end the trip.

5 minutes before the show started, it was already very busy, but the staff were efficiently able to fit a few extra bodies in on the left hand side of the stage, which was then set for the show to begin. Despite an A-Level in German, I won’t claim to understand what the hell the show was about – I gather there was a battle between the forces of dark and light, which light eventually won due to love and Christmas (or some such crap). In all seriousness though, I thought it was pretty good, and realised I was doing a ‘happy cry’ at the end, when the fireworks faded out and ‘Spirit of Light… Illuminate…’ started up AGAIN. I hope some goon manages to track that song down at some point, as it makes me happy, despite only having about 3 lines!

In a nice touch, the actors stayed on the stage after the show ended, and allowed the public to walk up for pictures and conversation, so I took a few that I quite liked (to be honest, I’d taken a liking to one of the dancers!) although the highlight was definitely a dog accidentally getting onto the ice rink, and then not understanding what was happening.

Then, sadly, it was time to head back to Matamba, and get an early-ish night ahead of the 7 hour journey on Friday. Once again, however, this was a very successful mission all told, and Phantasialand has gone up in my estimation – it may become a staple part of Christmas, as the Germans do it SO much better (except the steel drum carols; those worn thin!!) – and it’s quiet and all the rides are open.

Photos:
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I've made the album public, in case anyone who doesn't have me on Facebook wants to see more...
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10154962451880864.1073741859.503140863&type=1&l=a0b8aff63c
 
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Nice report. I haven't been to Phantasialand during Winter for years, it's a much bigger event since I last went. Glad to see you enjoyed yourself, shame you're not quite a fan of Taron like the rest of us.
 
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