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LD Relationships.

Just really echoing what has been said.

It's hard, there are times when its incredibly lonely but I am helped out by the fact that in my house at uni four of us are in LDRs so it makes it a lot easier to deal with as you have someone to talk to about it who understands.

It takes commitment from both sides yet also understanding that sometimes people need their space. Me and Benin see each other every other weekend/every two weekends normally for four days.

You also have to understand and know that if you want it to carry on, at some point it has to stop becoming long distance and one/both of you has to move closer.
 
It must be really helpful to have people to talk to who can really relate. I'm having such a hard time right now, it's driving me mad. Well, it was. Once I logged in here, I was ok.
 
Even though me and Benin are three and a half hours away by train, we are the shortest LDR in my house. Another lives in London, one is in Norway and the other Spain. So sometimes it helps to put things into perspective.
 
I so wish we were three and a half hours away. I realize if we love each other then it CAN work. But, it just doesn't seem like it's holding up too good. In the beginning, I just knew he was the one. But the less we talked, the more distant It felt.

I've been willing to sacrafice a lot to try and make this work. But it seems like he hasn't sacraficed anything. I know I sound like I'm continuously running my mouth and ****. My apologies.
 
One of my best friends is trying to hold down a long distance relationship between the UK and Canada, and it's falling apart at the hinges. Also, my brother was dating a girl who moved to Canada and they had to break up (amicably) because in reality it wasn't productive for either of them. Those are long distance relationships that aren't the most glowing examples.

BUT, my uncle lives in Canada and his wife lives in London, and they've been happily married since I was about 5 or something.

Every example of long distances relationships I have seem to be between Canada and the UK. Is there something inherently compatible about the two nations?

I wouldn't even entertain the idea of dating someone who lived an 8 hour plane ride away from me. It defies the point of having freedom, in my opinion. What about the random outings that can be planned last minute. What about rolling around in bed for a few hours on the off-chance that you both have the day off work. Or just calling each other up and deciding to do something for the hell of it. No no. I would miss that, and without that it's not a relationship, in my eyes. Actually having to significantly uproot your actual normal life (in terms of time, money etc) just in order to SEE the person you love... the thought makes me sad. I'll stick to people in my own country for now. Considering you can get to most places in the UK within 1.5 hours by plane, or a few hours via other modes of transportation, that would be my comfortable limit.

Although, if it works for other people, then that's great. It's horses for courses. You can't put a yes or a no answer on love! :)

PS: Artichoke, if you haven't even met this person yet and they're not returning your texts etc... Just find someone else. They're obviously not worth your time. It doesn't look great to be honest. I'd at least want someone with the ability to text back if I was even going to remotely consider any kind of relationship. Sorry.
 
EDIT: Waiting for Taylor and Brad to post...
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Wahay, t'is me!

Okay so, before October I would have said they were retarded and I would never be in one, and look where I am now :p . I was in a relationship for two and a half years almost before this one, and he lived a few streets away.. There were some fun times but sometimes it becomes a bit of an obligation to have to hangout every single day or have the other person get pissed at you because you want some relaxation away from them. There really wasn't anything there, I couldn't be bothered to put any effort into the relationship, and I didn't really love him so we brokeup in August after I met Brad :p .

Obviously me and Brad didn't date straight away and it's not like I ever expected anything to come of it. But for anyone who knows me knows I'm rarely into guys and I felt like we sorta clicked I guess which has never happened with anyone else before so I accepted the offer to go there in October. Things went well and I've been back two times since :) .

Basically yah, it's more effort I suppose especially with the money thing. Flights overseas aren't cheap, and overall I suppose I've spent at least $3500 if not more since meeting him. If it works out it's not like I'd ever let it stay long distance. Obviously one of us moving overseas if it did last would be a huge thing for either of us so nobody is jumping into anything but we have talked about it so it's not like we're not serious about it or willing to put effort into it and stuff. Long distance also gives you SPACE. Obviously being away absolutely sucks and I get sucked into like a week of feeling like absolute crap when I leave, but as they say absence makes the heart grow fonder! When we're together as people have seen we are attached at the hip and just have fab times in general and it's not like we've had to spend that much time apart especially for what one might expect being overseas. It's usually a month and a half between visits so the next couple months are gonna be brutal, but worth it since I'll be there all summer.

Yes, having to talk on the phone and MSN and stuff does get a bit annoying but what can you do? It's the only option and it sucks when the other person is like busy or whatever and then you don't get a chance to talk to them. I also find jealousy WAS a big problem.. But I wouldn't be with someone if I couldn't trust them and if I'm spending all this money on a relationship and vice versa, it's not like either of us are gonna go running off with someone else :p .

In sum, they're frustrating and can cause a bit of tension, but if you're really serious about it then yes, they're fine, as long as you're not spending ridiculous amounts of time apart and are willing to make sacrifices, etc. Can't help who you fall for, as they say :p .
 
I live in Huddersfield and my girlfriend lives in Aberdeen, a 380 mile drive (roughly six hours on average), and we do OK, I was working up there when I met her so we initially had plenty of time together, but I'm now back home and we see each other once a fortnight for as long a weekend as we can muster - and when able one of us will take a few days away from work to proglong it, and everything is great at the moment and has been since it started.

Bottom line, if you both want it to work and commited to making it happen - it will.
 
Ahh to be young & horny! :lol:
I was going to say "where were you when I was young?", but you weren't even born yet. :p
 
This is my first LDR and I want it to work. But, I don't think that stress and depression is supposed to come with in effort. I don't know how much longer I can continue to sacrafice for this relationship while he knocks down every oppurtunity I give to move allll the way to Miami.

He claims we're gonna be together forever... I don't see it.
 
Lain said:
Harvey said:
Bottom line, if you both want it to work and commited to making it happen - it will.
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This, tbh.
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**** off, Lain... :p

Obviously it's not as cut and dried as I'm about to make it sound because people, especially females (God help me, I sound like Ciall...) basically refuse to make life that simple - but if you're with someone who gives a ****, it'll work from two corners of the globe as long as you want it to. And if they don't, it won't matter if you're next door neighbours, sooner or later their daily demands will be being met by another 36 people :D

Seriously though - best of luck to anyone thinking of trying it (unless I dislike them)... and be prepared for the fact that you'll spend most of your life on MSN or equivalent - a medium through which conflict resolution is next to impossible.

v That's true. And you're annoying :)
 
Will said:
it'll work from two corners of the globe as long as you want it to.
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Globe doesn't have corners.
troll_face_design__NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-s378x378-132705-580.png


:lol:
 
and be prepared for the fact that you'll spend most of your life on MSN or equivalent - a medium through which conflict resolution is next to impossible.
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Just because relationships start out long distance doesn't mean they always have to continue being that way.. Haha. So it's not like if this works out with Brad, I'm only gonna stay here and talk to him on MSN for the rest of my existence.
 
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