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Denmark (well, half of it) and Eurovision

Friday

We decided to forgo the Eurovision crazyness for a day and indulge in some culture.

Just round the corner from our apartment was this massive church with a fab tower.
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We climbed to the top
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And took more terrible selfies
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And saw our apartment
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Only, it turns out we didn. We saw a neighbour's apartment who also has a green table on their balcony. Anyway.

CRED
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When we came down, we went over the road to Christiania. It's a really interesting, if slightly unnerving place. It was a disused military barracks that a bunch of hippies broke into and started squatting in in the early 70s. It's most famous for it's Cannabis market stretching along a strip called "Pusher Street" also known as "The Green Light District". The whole area is run almost as an autonomous state, and was even covered by, and excluded from, particular laws that meant it was treated differently from the rest of the city. Since the early 2000's Denmark has sought to "normalise" Christiania, through law changes and police raids. Whilst the colourful stands of the past have been replaced by guarded, camouflaged tents, the trade in cannabis is still very prominent.

Due to the illegal activity in the area, photos are strictly forbidden, and anyone seen taking pictures is liable to get attacked by the locals. Therefore, you'll have to make do with these shots I took from up the church tower
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We wandered back into town, crossing the canal
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...wandering up the other half of the fan mile
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...to the place with the colourful buildings and the boats sat in the middle of the road.
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Following the shoreline round, you eventually come to a big boat
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an even bigger boat
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and a lovely view across the water to the Opera House
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There's a big fountain
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On the other side of it is a **** massive church
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and some kind of royal palace thing
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A bit further up the road and you'll eventually come to another massive fountain, which sits on the corner of a big park
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At the other end of the park, you'll find this thing
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Meh.

We were more amused by this bloke
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We attempted to get a water bus back
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However, we cocked it up and ended up actually only getting as far as the opera house.
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Despite the crap weather, we decided to sashay back to ours. I'm glad we did, cause it meant we got a Netto cred. So yellow and vile <3 I made curry for dinner. That was also yellow and vile <3

Stay tuned for the big day!!!
 
Saturday Morning

After getting up at the crack of dawn, spending hours sat on trains and walking through a field, we eventually arrived at this place
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I'd heard bad things about this place, even though I'd always looked forward to visiting. I just put this down to a difference in senses of humour and assumed I'd still like it as, let's face it, farting IS funny. Talking of which...
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It wasn't open. We really didn't fancy the disk'o
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So we wandered on to the Eurofighter.
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Despite operations that you'd expect from Thorpe Park on a week day ("Thorpe Park on a week day - YEAH!") It, unbelievably, wasn't that bad. I mean, sure, it's dull and doesn't really do anything, but it also doesn't hurt. Well done Gerst, well done.
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The spinner was pissing us off, and the GIANT Tivoli was spiting, so we turned into Scarlet for a few minutes and went to do the FABbri tower. The restraints ruined it.
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By this point, Dog Fart opened!
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The queue for the spinner was less vile
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And the Tivoli on stilts also stopped being spiteful
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Whilst waiting for the lanky Tiv, I spotted something that I rember reading about, but didn't appreciate was at BonBon
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Oh God, it's horrendous. Which makes it hilarious.
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We ate weird (but actually quite fab, and well priced) pizza, then **** off.

Whilst farting is definitely funny, poorly operated rides and badly aged fibreglass theming definitely isn't. If you went on a sunny day with less vile children, then you may form a more favourable opinion, but this park won't be winning any awards any time soon.
 
Saturday night

We piled on a bus and soon arrived at Eurovision Island. It quickly became apparent that we were somewhat under dressed
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*mumbles* Merlin *mumbles*
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Keeping with the industrial setting, the tables and stools outside the bars were literally held together with cable ties. My Dad would approve.
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A small quantity of beer was involved
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We waited in the scrum to get into the arena
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We had to walk past the stage to get to our seats
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For the cheapest tickets, all of which promised a restricted view, we actually didn't do too badly in the end
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The hall was stating to fill, and excitement was mounting
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If you watched on TV, you may be aware that the show started with a burst of confetti throughout the audience. That **** got EVERYWHERE
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Before we knew it, it was all underway, and the acts took to the stage one by one.

Hamster
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Cheesecake
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Trapeze
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ICELAND <3
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Phone torches
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Toilet seat (and Paula <3)
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Fire
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Bloke
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Rollerskating
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Tits
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Trampolines
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Beard <33333333333333333333333333333333333
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Disco ball
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Hipsters
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See-saw
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No idea
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Ruth
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Whistling
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Running
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Malta & Sons
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The local bloke
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The naff country one
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Curtains (how did this get through, yet her Fab Facebook song from 2012 didn't? Eugh!)
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By the last act, even my camera didn't give a ****
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There was stuff happening in the chevron that was neither green, nor a room
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Some ugly people on ladders started singing the song from Sister Act 2
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This massively pissed girl randomly appeared and sat in the row in front of us. She passed out on the shoulder of the random bloke next to her. He put up with it until she vommed on the floor.
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Some people took a bath
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The X-Factor finalists all chipped in to perform a charity song
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We learnt that drag queens look better in sparkly dresses than scary Spanish women
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Then some voting happened and eventually a winner was announced...
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CONNNNNCHIIIIIIIITAAAAAAAAAAA <33333333
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Sunday

We went to the airport.

Jake went for a poo in their toilet.

This happened -

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Jake reappeared. I squealed a lot.

We got on a plane and flew home.

The end.

Thanks for reading <3
 
My god it's all camper than I can possibly have imagined. Utterly amazing and totally, totally jealous.

Also, glad someone else thought the folky song was turd. Everyone else seems to love it.
 
That's what I thought! I hated it, everyone at college this week has been raving about it being the best thing since sliced bread, well, apart from a bearded woman of course :lol:
 
Our marketing manager Pedro actually looks a bit like Conchita and he's been teased about it all week. I'll get a picture in here if I can be arsed to tomorrow
 
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