Collecting Crappy Colorado Creds - Day 3: Spite

[Hutch]

Day 1 - Denver & Elitch Gardens

I did this trip back in October, but I'm only getting around to uploading this now because 1) I was trying to finish up my Europe report, and 2) wanted to give myself a break from writing up trip reports... or at least I didn't want long breaks in between uploads. But I've got another trip coming up soon, so I best start getting this out. Luckily this one was only a few days.

I had owed a friend a visit out to Colorado. I’d been to Colorado in the past for skiing, so I intended to visit during warmer months to finally visit some of the parks while I was out there. I was originally looking to visit sometime over the summer, but scheduling conflicts and pushed the trip to October. That meant that I’d be spited by Lakeside Park, which only seems to be open in the summer, but that’s really not a big loss. At best, they only seem to have 3/5 creds open, which includes a basic Galaxi model, a shameless and potentially spiteful kiddie cred, and Wild Chipmunk (which actually would’ve been cool to get on). Oh well. At least I’ve enjoyed many glimpses of the deteriorating woodie when passing by on I-70.

I flew into Denver on a Friday morning, landing a little before noon. My friend lives in an old mining town in the mountains, about an hour west of Denver. He wasn’t able to grab me from the airport, so we rendezvoused in the city. I took the train from the airport into town, which was really easy and nice to have in an American city, especially for an airport not directly tied inside the city. I don’t think it took longer than 30 minutes.

I ended up wandering around for an hour before my friend showed up. The only site I was remotely interested in was the State Capitol area, so I slowly made my way down there where my friend grabbed me.

If it were up to me, I probably would’ve done Elitch Gardens shortly after arriving in town, but annoyingly the park didn’t open until 6PM that evening. It ended up being fine, but between the overvalued ticket price, risk of spite, and consequential delay of arriving at my friend’s place much later that night, Elitch ended up being a “we’ll see” sort of thing throughout the day.

Anyway, we got some lunch then decided on visiting the Denver Museum of Nature & Science, which was a good way to kill a few hours. The museum didn’t have anything super exciting, but they had a LOT of cool dioramas (mostly species native to North & South America) and some other very detailed exhibits.

After that my friend dropped me at Elitch Gardens for a quick cred run. It worked out because he had to take care of some errands anyway, and honestly I would’ve been embarrassed showing him around a sh***y park like this. The online ticket price was also a lewd $60, but I managed to find a third party site that saved me $10. Swallowing my regret, I went through and kicked it off with the SLC.

Honestly much to my surprise, pretty much all the major creds that were expected to operate were available that evening. Mind Eraser even had a couple trains running, allowing for a quick +1. But my god are these things bad. With the exception of two of them (which still aren’t good), all clones of this model are consistently bad.

Boomerang and Half-pipe would have to wait… the former had a gross line, the latter had a temporary closure for a fire dance show.

That led me to Twister III: Storm Chaser. Apparently, the park had retracked the ride, hence the updated (and awkward) name. But who knows what they did because the ride was still in questionable shape. That said, I enjoyed the unique layout. There were some rockin’ laterals, and the nighttime cityscape looked cool in the background.

It was time for the Boomerang, which was somewhat of a pain to get on. The wait was about a half hour, but the queue was infested with obnoxious teenagers. At one point some kid somehow fell onto me. Later on, a bunch of girls started screaming at the sight of a Tik Tok “influencer,” who was some confused eighteen-year-old white dude.

The ride experience complemented the queue experience.

And it was back to Half-Pipe, which was somewhat of an effort to achieve as well. There was another cycle of fire dancers, but they let me wait it out in the queue (which was mostly emptied out at this point), allowing me to get on once the dance wrapped up shortly afterward. Strapped myself in and they broke the ride. Another 10 minute delay waiting on the exit ramp, but before long they finally got it going again.

I think these are solid rides, but this is only the second one I’ve done, so I’d imagine they won’t be as exciting as I ride more. That said, there doesn’t seem to be too many of them to begin with.

Behold the spite. Wonder if I’ll ever get on one of these models before they die off. The paint job seemed recent though, so we’ll see what happens with this one.

My friend picked me up shortly afterward and we drove into his mountain town. As fun as it is to share my hobby with non-enthusiast friends, I am glad I didn’t bring him in as it really is a poor park with some lackluster rides. That said, the staff were really friendly, and the park had a good effort into their Halloween sets. It was also cool to essentially have a city park in the US, which isn’t really a thing.

Much better park coming up next!

 

[Hyde]

Awesome you were able to pick up the Half Pipe! Bummer though to miss the Arrow shuttle loop. Vice versa for me.

 

[Hutch]

Awesome you were able to pick up the Half Pipe! Bummer though to miss the Arrow shuttle loop. Vice versa for me.

Yeah 4/6 is pretty good considering the shuttle loop had been SBNO all season (possibly longer?), and the other spite being a kiddie cred (families/kids wouldn't be at the park at those hours, so why bother running it). Was honestly surprised to see everything else open, especially for that time of the year.

There're rumors circulating that the park might get relocated or something like that, who knows. Just glad I was able to visit.

 

[Hutch]

We had a late start to the morning but eventually hit the road. On the way to Glenwood Springs, we took the scenic route up Loveland Pass. Not gonna lie, little terrifying driving up there, and I imagine much freakier in the peak of winter.

We arrived at Glenwood Springs in the afternoon, had some lunch in town, and made our way over to the gondola (nice to have a free parking lot a short walk away).

You'll see soon how great the views from the top are, but looking up from below and seeing a roller coaster chilling at the top of a mountain is pretty surreal too.

Very welcoming view of the new coaster as you approach the top.

Had some lovely impressions when we stepped out. I expected the park’s design to be mostly rides scattered between barren paths, relying on the view and natural landscape to do the job. It is that in some areas, but they also built up a cute little village plaza. Loved this overall feel, and very nice place to hang out too. You can tell there are people that just come up here and not do any of the rides (which is a ticket option as well).

So they’ve done a good job showing off their relatively new Gerstlauer, and with it being near the front of the park, it seemed natural to check off Defiance first.

You know I’m usually harsh on Gerstlauers, but I’ll be forgiving on this one (even if this can be one of the more painful ones). It fits exactly what the park wanted, it looks great off-ride, and the views (especially looking out of the station) are excellent.

Sure, a B&M dive would’ve been miles better, but the park doesn’t need to drop all that extra money on it.

Despite being the shiny new toy at the front of the park and having similar capacity to most of the other rides, this barely drew a line. In fact, they don’t really have a formal queue set up at all. You just kinda wander up to the station and hang out near the air gates. There were enough interested riders to consistently fill a one-train op throughput, but you never had to wait more than a cycle.

The infamous Haunted Mine Drop-turned-Crystal Tower was looking rather peculiar with its colorful facade and kid-friendly theme for a rather, uh, haunting experience. Again, not many takers here, but I’ll gladly take that as it’s easily the best ride in the park and my new favorite drop tower. Holy s***.

Of course, it must have been much better before when it was just the single strap over your waist and floorless seats. But even with the extra seatbelt and cage enclosure, the airtime still felt ridiculous and unlike anything I’ve experienced. I was laughing hysterically as when hit the bottom.

The unique aspect of loading at the top and dropping immediately also removes any uncomfortable anticipation from slowly rising. Here, you pretty much know when the ride is about to drop, which I like. There’s also a nice viewing platform to show off how hilariously abrupt the whole thing is. Loved it!

The path leads over to the S&S Screamin' Swing, but that drew a long/slow line, so we saved it for later. Beyond that, you loop back around to the main area, so we grabbed Wild West Express around the corner.

Made our way further up the hill for this terrifying thing.

I love chairswings. They’re relaxing rides and the gentle motion feels good. Canyon Flyer was the opposite. At full swing, you’ve got a vertical cliff below you for two thirds of the rotation, and it’s unsettling. What truly makes this terrifying is the lack of a seatbelt, unlike the tall star flyers or windseekers. You’ve just got the loose chain bar, which any fool could slip out of (if they were dumb enough).

Back to more familiar territory, we have a stock coaster which lacks a gimmick, other than basically being given the record of highest coaster above sea level in the country (maybe North America?).

Cliffhanger was a good time in the back row though. It has some fun helices, some very concerning clearance spots, and a nice twisting drop in the middle à la Jetline.

Had to suck up the wait for the Alpine Coaster, which took about 45 minutes. There was a slight delay at one point, with staff removing and adding back several sleds, but ultimately the poor capacity and proximity to the main area caused this to have a constant queue.

It was fun. I’ve done a handful of alpine coasters (including one more recently in Park City, Utah), but this was easily the weakest for me. It’s not as intense as the others, and it just doesn’t have the length either. It probably doesn’t help that you start at the top and have to climb all the way back up, whereas starting with the lift on the others still gives you something to look forward to.

Alright, time for the last sought-after thrill ride, Canyon Swing. And surprisingly, like the Canyon Flyer, this was just as terrifying, if not more. Even though you’re more secure here, the visuals just mess with you was you’re swinging off the cliff.

We only had time to do this once, but luckily we snagged the side that I heard was freakier: facing out. I had heard that facing outwards felt like you were getting thrown off the cliff, and that’s accurate.

For once I didn’t mind the short ride cycle these things usually have. Here, it’s not about the airtime you get at peak swings. It’s that insane view of zooming by the platform, approaching the cliffside, and just getting launched into open air, all while feeling exposed. And since you’re not eager for the airtime at those peak swings, the shorter swings are still exhilarating because of the view. Much like the chairswing, I struggled to keep my hands up and was relieved when the ride was slowing down. Incredible. I can’t wait to return so I can try the other side.

Unfortunately, since we arrived at the park somewhat late and it being kinda crowded, we didn’t have time for any of the cave tours. All the more reason to return. But we did grab a couple more rides on the drop tour (amazing fun), and one more ride on Defiance (because it was there).

All in all, I loved the park. I always tend to judge prospective parks based on their ride lineups (which I recognize isn’t fair), but the setting and overall feel of this park really impressed me. But what was even more surprising were the rides that had the ability to still somehow terrify me, moreso than any other ride has done since I started becoming interested in coasters. I also gained a new favorite drop tower. I mean, pretty much all the rides use the terrain to its advantage to turn an otherwise simple model into something unique.

Glenwood Caverns is one of the few parks I’d push for ANYONE to get to. I mean, nobody has to tell you to get your ass to Phantasialand or Universal. Glennwood Caverns though? Nobody should be sleeping on this. It’s an effort to travel to, and it isn’t cheap either for the hardware you’re getting (something like $85), but honestly I’m more than happy to give my money to a park like this if it means they’ll continue to invest. I already have ideas of what they could do to expand… a S&S shot tower into the sky is an obvious one, but they need a genuinely good coaster… a terrain GCI would be killer.

On the drive back, we stopped at a cool German beer garden for a well-earned meal. The final part will be a shorter one. No park this time, but we had plans to collect another alpine coaster.

 

[James F]

The location looks truly stunning, seems to be a much more laid back as well compared to most major parks. I feel like this might be a daft question, but is the air noticeably thinner up there?

 

[Hutch]

I feel like this might be a daft question, but is the air noticeably thinner up there?

I wouldn't say breathing itself feels any different, but hydration is definitely something I've learned to stay on top of whenever I'm over there for a ski trip. I can easily get minor headaches if I'm not drinking enough water, so I find myself taking a daily Advil or something whenever I'm over there. This trip specifically was fine, though we weren't doing hikes or anything grueling.

 

[Howie]

Great report, Hutch, some very cool photos too. Absolutely adore Glenwood Caverns, one of my all time favourite parks. I did the OG Haunted Mine Drop and definitely agree - world's best drop tower. Giant Canyon Swing is world's best screaming swing and Canyon Flyer is world's best chair swing ride. Three of the  scariest rides I've ever been on, right there.
A park that everyone should aspire to visit at least once in their lifetime.

 

[Hutch]

Today involved a bit of exploring, with my friend showing me around some towns in the region and driving through the mountains. Again, leisurely start to the morning, but we started out with lunch at a cool restaurant in the tiny town of Empire. From there, we drove to Copper Mountain for their alpine coaster, the aptly named Rocky Mountain Coaster (sadly no RMC).

Oh no!

I guess I’m not terribly surprised by its closure, considering the place was deserted, but the website did say it’d be operational outside of the ski season. Who knows. I suppose there’s no reason to staff a couple people to sit around all day for nobody to show up. But like, update your damn website.

Instead, we had a little walk along the base of the mountain.

Despite the spite (ha), we were pretty satisfied wandering around for over an hour. We also lucked out with the weather, so it was actually quite nice while also being quiet.

Ahh, so that's why it's not running. Found this outside of a gas station.

Moving on, my friend showed me to Leadville, about a 30 minute drive south from Copper Mountain. Still more populous than some of the tiny mining towns along I-70, but here you’re basically in the middle of f***ing nowhere at an elevation of 10,000 ft.

We didn’t stay long, only doing a brief walk down the main street. As you might guess, there’s not a lot going on here. Though apparently they’ve got a heavily sought-after outdoor clothing store (Melanzana). This is the business's only store, and they don’t sell or ship online. Somehow, it’s gained the reputation of being really f***ing good and now people are willing to do road trips or even fly out to Denver to get their hands on a fleece. Apparently, you even need a reservation to pick out your product. Who the f**k knows. I’m sure their products are great, but I can’t fathom why anyone would go through all that effort when they could easily settle for plenty of other cheaper and serviceable alternatives.

On the way back home, we pulled over to view the Valley of Ghosts, the former site of a few mining towns from the 1800s. Sounds like it was once a bustling community but had a history of fires, draining the population and eventually left to get dumped with tailings from another nearby mine.

Did a quick turnaround at home and got dinner in Georgetown (another old mining town off I-70) for some really good Detroit-style pizza, connected to a brewery. Nice way to finish off the trip before flying home the next day.

This was somewhat of an overdue trip for me. Mainly to catch up with a friend, but also to tick off some of the extraneous creds after traveling through the region many times in the past. I’ll happily make an effort to return to Glenwood Caverns (ideally after they get something new and exciting). Elitch Gardens can probably f**k off (and it actually might), but I’m still missing that Arrow shuttle. And of course, I still need to attempt Lakeside Amusement Park for the s**ts, but that park can’t be lasting much longer either.