Alton Towers 25th/26th March 2023

[Matt N]

25th March 2023: Alton Towers Day 1
Hi guys. Today was an exciting day; it was my first visit to Alton Towers of the season! But this visit was particularly exciting for a different reason… my parents and I brought my grandad along with us for what was not just his first ever visit to Alton Towers, but his first ever visit to a theme park full stop! Yes, he’d never set foot into a theme park or ridden a roller coaster prior to this morning, but after seeing Oblivion on the TV, he expressed great keenness to visit, so my parents and I took him as a 70th birthday present!

We set off from Gloucestershire at about 7:15am this morning, and we arrived in Alton Towers at about 10am, making good time for entry into the park at about 10:20am:

When we entered the park, we decided to make a beeline for Oblivion, as that was my grandad’s key bucket list ride. “I need to do Oblivion first in case it’s the only one I do!” he said! However, when we got over there, it was closed, so we had to change tack:

Instead, we took a look at the queue times, and went to a different ride that was displaying a short queue time…
Rita
Rita was only displaying a 10 minute queue, so we decided to give it a go. My dad felt that as Rita “is short and doesn’t really do much aside from being fast”, it was a good one to start my grandad off on. When we joined the queue, the advertised time quickly went up to 45 minutes, but we decided to persist regardless, and it ultimately took about 55 minutes. Interestingly, my grandad was absolutely perplexed about why people were screaming on the ride; he asked “what on earth are they all screaming for?”. So, how was the ride? Well, I was sat in row 4, and I thought it was awesome; the ride was relatively smooth, and it had awesome airtime and speed! As for my grandad, he seemed to enjoy the ride, and said that it felt a lot faster and more exhilarating than it looked from off-ride; he did, however, quickly retract his previous criticism of the screamers:

After Rita, we decided to have a go on the other roller coaster in the area…
Thirteen
Thirteen had just opened and was on an advertised 45 minute queue, so we decided to take a ride on it. This initially seemed like a sound move; with rumblings circulating that the ride was still unable to operate in the rain, we wanted to do Thirteen quickly so that we could get it in while it was dry. This decision later proved to be a grave error… as in spite of the queue not looking exceptionally long compared to previous visits (albeit far from short), we waited for 105 minutes in total, and the heavens well and truly opened while we were waiting. On the plus side, the rumours that the ride was still unable to operate in the rain were untrue, as I saw it running in a rather heavy downpour with my own two eyes! So, how was the ride? Well, I got the front row, and it was great fun; there were some fun twists and turns, the odd pop of airtime, and an indoor section that never fails to deliver! As for my grandad, he simply turned to me at the end and said “Well, I wasn’t expecting that… I almost wet myself!”. On a positive note, he also got off and said to me “These roller coasters are rather addictive things, aren’t they? When you get off one, you just want to go straight on another one!”; he was really starting to enjoy the rides by this point:

After we got off Thirteen, the rain became truly biblical, so we camped under a tree to try and escape the rain. After a few minutes had passed, we decided to take shelter indoors for a longer period of time, so we had a go on…
Hex
Hex was located nearby, so we decided to take cover on there for a few minutes. It appeared as though everyone else in that area had the same idea, as the queue quickly spilled out of the building and we later ascertained that it was advertised at 30 minutes. I think that’s the first time I’ve ever queued through the entire building and seen the queue line videos on Hex! Nonetheless, it ultimately only took about 15 minutes, and we were in the first pre-show quite quickly. So, how was the ride? Well, I have to say that it was excellent; it was my first ride on there since 2020, and it felt like everything was working and in absolutely top notch condition, and I noticed things I’ve never noticed in that ride before! Overall, it was brilliant, and I think my grandad found it interesting too:

After that, we decided to head for another roller coaster…
Wicker Man
Wicker Man was on a 50 minute advertised queue, so we decided to give it a go. This was another one that my grandad was particularly keen to ride; he said he wanted to ride the ride after having completed the Wicker Man jigsaw puzzle that we gave him a couple of years ago (which I ascertain was quite difficult; he complained about every piece being the same shade of black/brown!)! The queue time was somewhat understated, ultimately taking 70-75 minutes. So, how was the ride? Well, I was sat in row 3, and I thought it was as brilliant as always, with an awesome sense of speed and loads of brilliant airtime! My grandad was particularly impressed with Wicker Man as well, stating that it was “the best ride yet” and “definitely better than Rita”:

After Wicker Man, we noticed that a certain bucket list ride for my grandad was finally open, so we made a beeline for it…
Oblivion
When we had just stepped off of Wicker Man, my dad noticed that Oblivion was open and on an advertised 15 minute queue, so seeing as it was the main ride my grandad wanted to ride, we headed over there. We were greeted with a surprise when we got there, as the queue had risen substantially to 50 minutes rather than 15, but we joined it nonetheless seeing as it was my grandad’s most anticipated ride and me and my dad both really enjoy it too. The queue ultimately didn’t take 50 minutes, instead taking 35-40 minutes. So, how was the ride? Well, I do absolutely love Oblivion, and for me, it was as excellent as it always is, with a phenomenal sense of speed in the tunnel and some sublime airtime while plummeting down the drop! My grandad was blown away by the experience; he called it “barmy” and “utterly insane”, and looked in disbelief at how exhilarating Oblivion was; it was certainly the ride photo he looked the least unfazed in, anyhow!:

After Oblivion, it was getting close to the 5pm ride close, but I managed to sneak in one final ride…
The Smiler
The Smiler was on an advertised 40 minute queue, but as my grandad didn’t quite seem up for The Smiler, my parents stayed off it with him and I went on it via the Single Rider Queue. This queue often produces very good results as far as waiting time reduction goes; today wasn’t quite as good as some occasions, as I waited 20 minutes, but that was still a significant reduction on the advertised queue time of 40 minutes! So, how was the ride? Well, I’m not normally the biggest fan of The Smiler, but I have to say that that was the most enjoyable ride I’ve had on The Smiler in quite some time! I was seated in the front row, and it was actually really quite good; the inversions were fun and floaty, the ride wasn’t quite as intense and nauseating as it sometimes is, it was reasonably smooth for the most part (even the ending wasn’t that bad today)… I can’t really complain too much! It’s still not my favourite coaster by any means, but overall, The Smiler was a pleasant surprise today, and a very good way to end the day! On a side note, the operations were outstanding; the average dispatch interval was barely over a minute, and the staff were really hammering the trains out:

After The Smiler, we headed out of the park and back to our hotel in the local area.

So, that sums up the first day of our Alton Towers weekend! While I’d be lying if I said that it was my greatest ever day at the park in terms of ride count, and the weather at points of the day did detract somewhat, I still had a great day, and I loved introducing my grandad to the park (and theme parks full stop) for the first time! I asked him what his thoughts to his first day were as we left, and he said that it was “awesome” and “even better than [he’d] ever hoped that it could be”; I was very gratified by that response! His favourite ride overall was “easily” Wicker Man (he called it “superb”), but he seemed to enjoy everything we did to some extent, which I was glad about!

Thanks for reading! I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this report, and I’ll be back at you tomorrow with the report from our second day on park, which will cover some of the things we didn’t do today (hopefully including a ride on The Curse at Alton Manor, which none of us have done before…)!

 

[Benenen]

Top work as usual on the trip report Matt, that was a warm fuzzy read. Hope you have a blast tomorrow and fingers crossed for the manor.

 

[Matt N]

Top work as usual on the trip report Matt, that was a warm fuzzy read. Hope you have a blast tomorrow and fingers crossed for the manor.

Thanks @Benenen; I’m glad you enjoyed it!

As for The Curse at Alton Manor; I think we’re going to try and do it first thing tomorrow. I ascertain that the ride opened for about 15-30 minutes at the start of the day today, so even if it has a similar day tomorrow to what it had today, we’ll still hopefully get on it within its golden window of operation!

 

[davidm]

Ahh good work Matt's Grandad!

 

[Matt N]

26th March 2023: Alton Towers Day 2
We had our second day in the park today! And it was an interesting one, with some new stuff experienced today that we hadn’t done yesterday!

We started out somewhat earlier than we did yesterday, arriving at Alton Towers at around 9:30am for entry into the park at around 9:45am:

For our first ride, we headed off down Haunted Hollow to a certain new ride that none of us had ever done before…
The Curse at Alton Manor
The Curse at Alton Manor was closed for most of the day yesterday, so I was hoping to get it in today. Thankfully, the ride was open, and it was also pretty much walk on! As such, I didn’t really see much of the queue, although I did get a brief look at the new indoor queue, which I thought was quite neat! So, how was the ride? Well, I’ll keep it spoiler-free for now… in part because I don’t think my review containing spoilers would go into an awful lot more detail at this stage! I thought it seemed like a nicely done ride, but I did perhaps find it a little overwhelming on my first ride; it is a lot to take in, and being a bit of a weakling with horror stuff, I spent most of the ride either on edge or jumping out of my skin! It was all a bit of a blur for me! My mum went round the ride terrified, as evidenced by our on-ride photo (she was always frightened of The Haunted House and Duel, so this wasn’t too surprising), but my dad said he was “underwhelmed”, saying that “it’s nice, and better than Duel, but the marketing over-egged it”. I’ll watch a POV later and see if I can do a more in-depth review with some spoilers, but that’s about as much as I’ll say for the time being:

After The Curse at Alton Manor, we headed onto our first coaster of the day…
Galactica
Galactica was on an advertised 0 minute wait, and it was a ride that my grandad hadn’t ridden yet, so we decided to take a ride. The queue time board was pretty true to its word, with us waiting very little before entering the station! But how was the ride? Well, we were seated in row 3, and I must admit that I found it a bit uncomfortable. Galactica isn’t a favourite of mine, and today’s ride did seem like one of the more uncomfortable I’ve had on it; I’m a bit sceptical about whether flying coasters are really my sort of thing. As for my grandad, he said that the experience was “different” and that he found the ride “less intense than some of the others”:

After Galactica, we were initially going to go on the Runaway Mine Train, but the queue was spilling well out of the entrance, we decided to steer clear and go on a different ride…
Wicker Man
Wicker Man was on an advertised 50 minute queue, so we decided to have a go on it. The queue time was ultimately somewhat overstated; we waited around 35 minutes to the pre-show, and we were even on the ride within 40-45 minutes, which is always a bonus! So, how was it? Well, I was seated in row 6, and it was phenomenal; the airtime was stunning, the speed was incredible, and it was overall an incredibly fun ride! My grandad seemed to really enjoy it too, as he had yesterday; he even bought himself a Wicker Man hoodie from the shop straight after our ride, which must surely be a good sign:

After Wicker Man, we noticed that a certain non-coaster staple had opened for the first time this trip…
Congo River Rapids
Congo River Rapids had just opened while we had been on Wicker Man, so we decided to have a ride on it. The queue was fairly short; we were on within just a few minutes, which is always good! So, how was the ride? Well, it was decent; I got a somewhat wet back, there were a few fair waves, and my grandad seemed to enjoy himself! The ride was also spiced up somewhat this time by a jazzy new soundtrack, complete with an Australian announcer making various enthusiastic remarks during the ride; this was a fun touch, but I must digress that the irony was palpable when the announcer encouraged us to “face these waterfalls head on!” just before the waterfall section, even though there were no waterfalls running:

After Congo River Rapids, we decided to try the other ride in the area…
Runaway Mine Train
Runaway Mine Train’s queue looked visibly shorter than it had done earlier, so we decided to give it a go. The queue ultimately took around 25-30 minutes, which I wouldn’t say was too bad at all, personally! But how was the ride? Well, I was seated in row 10, and I thought it was great fun; it is a guilty pleasure of mine! My grandad thoroughly enjoyed it too; his first words to me upon getting off were “That tunnel bend was absolutely mental!”:

After our ride on the Runaway Mine Train, we sat in the Mutiny Bay Courtyard and ate our packed lunch for a bit before asking my grandad what ride he fancied doing next. To our surprise, he said “I’ve done all the others, so I want to try The Smiler!”. As such, we headed over to…
The Smiler
As my grandad wanted to give Smiler a go before we left, we obliged his wishes and joined the queue. Unusually for The Smiler, the queue was only advertised at 30 minutes, and while it wasn’t quite this short in reality, it only took around 40-45 minutes, which is honestly quite a short queue for The Smiler! So, how was the ride? Well, we were seated in the back row, and I personally found it a fair bit less pleasurable than yesterday’s ride; it was rougher and also seemed notably more nauseating for me. My grandad initially seemed a bit overwhelmed by the experience when we hit the brake run, but later remarked that he did thoroughly enjoy the ride, saying that he found it “absolutely mental”! He also remarked that going upside down was nowhere near as bad as he’d feared it might be, saying that he dealt with inverting far better than he’s dealt with spinning things in the past. However, he did say that he was glad that Smiler had been his final ride, declaring that “doing that first might have terrorised [him]!”:

After The Smiler, we headed to one final coaster that was on a very short queue…
Oblivion
Oblivion was on a mere 10 minute advertised queue time, so I, for one, couldn’t resist one final ride! My dad and my grandad joined me, and the advertised queue time seemed pretty accurate; we were on in no time! But how was the ride? Well, we were seated in the back row, and it was absolutely sublime; I had a loose restraint, so I got some impeccable airtime, and the sense of speed in the hole seemed particularly amazing today! My dad and grandad also seemed to enjoy it, and overall, it was a brilliant way to close our Alton Towers trip, in my view:

By this point, it was heading towards 3pm, so we decided to head home. As it was quiet, we took my grandad on the Monorail to head back to the car park, which was certainly a welcome sit down after all the walking and standing during the day!

After we rode the Monorail, we got in the car to head back home and our trip to Alton Towers ended.

On the whole, this was a brilliant trip, in my view! Yes, it started off slightly rocky yesterday with the rain and the long Thirteen queue, but today was brilliant, yesterday afternoon was an improvement on the morning, and I overall thoroughly enjoyed seeing my grandad’s first reactions to Alton Towers and theme parks in general! He said that his weekend had been “fabulous”, and while he admitted that Alton Towers probably wouldn’t be somewhere he’d want to revisit too frequently and that he hadn’t become a “convert” like me, he didn’t rule out potentially visiting a theme park again in the future and said that he'd thoroughly enjoyed his weekend. His favourite ride of the trip was Wicker Man, but he also leant an honourable mention to The Smiler, which he deemed "absolutely mental"!

Thanks for reading; I hope you've enjoyed this trip report! I'm not sure when I'll next be writing one or where it will be from, but I hope to be writing another one soon!

 

[witchfinder]

What a great story about your Grandad having his first theme park trip at the age of 70, and loving it If nothing else, it proves there's hope for those of us that are the wrong side of 40 that we can go on riding creds for many years to come

 

[Matt N]

This isn’t expressly related to our trip, but I decided to have a little fun with this trip report… after seeing Coaster Studios’ theme park vlog written in AI yesterday, I decided to have a go at asking ChatGPT to write about the two days we spent at Alton Towers last weekend, as I was intrigued to see the results!

For the first day, my search query was:

Write about a day at Alton Towers with your grandad where he’s visiting for the first time and rides Rita, Thirteen, Hex, Wicker Man and Oblivion.

And ChatGPT came out with:

As an AI language model, I can imagine a heartwarming day at Alton Towers with your grandad as he experiences the thrill of the rides for the first time!

You start the day with a smile as you see the excitement in your grandad’s eyes as he takes in the sights and sounds of the park. He’s never been to Alton Towers before, and he’s eager to try out all the rides he’s heard so much about.

Your first stop is Rita, a high-speed coaster that takes you from 0 to 60 mph in just a few seconds. Your grandad is a little hesitant at first, but you encourage him to give it a try. As you race around the track, you can hear him laughing with delight and shouting “Woohoo!” at the top of his lungs.

Next up is Thirteen, a dark ride that takes you on a journey through a spooky mansion. Your grandad is a little nervous as you enter the ride, but as the twists and turns start to surprise him, he can’t help but let out a few screams of excitement.

After that, you make your way to Hex, a unique ride that takes you through a haunted mansion. The special effects are impressive, and your grandad can’t help but marvel at the spooky atmosphere.

Feeling brave, you decide to tackle the Wicker Man, a wooden coaster that twists and turns through a fiery structure. Your grandad is a little nervous as the coaster roars to life, but as he screams and laughs his way through the twists and turns, you can see the joy on his face.

Finally, you make your way to Oblivion, a vertical drop coaster that sends you plummeting down a 180-foot drop. Your grandad is a little apprehensive about this one, but as you reach the top of the drop, he takes a deep breath and lets out a shout of excitement as you hurtle towards the ground.

As the day comes to a close, you and your grandad sit down for a well-deserved meal, sharing stories and memories of the incredible day you’ve had at Alton Towers. You can see the happiness in his eyes as he talks about the thrill of the rides, and you feel grateful to have shared this unforgettable experience with him.

For our second day, my search query was:

Write about a second day at Alton Towers with your grandad where you ride The Curse at Alton Manor, the new for 2023 ride, as well as Galactica, Wicker Man, Congo River Rapids, the Runaway Mine Train, The Smiler and Oblivion.

And ChatGPT came out with:

As an AI language model, I can imagine a thrilling second day at Alton Towers with your grandad as you take on some of the newest and most exciting rides in the park!

You start the day with a sense of anticipation as you make your way to the brand new attraction, The Curse at Alton Manor. Your grandad is eager to try out the ride, and as you enter the dark and spooky mansion, you can feel his excitement building. The ride takes you on a journey through twisting corridors and haunted rooms, with surprises at every turn. Your grandad lets out a few screams of excitement as you hurtle through the darkness, and as the ride comes to an end, you can see the joy on his face.

Next up is Galactica, a virtual reality coaster that takes you on a journey through outer space. As you don your VR headset and take your seat on the coaster, you can hear your grandad marvelling at the incredible sights and sounds around him. The twists and turns of the coaster are even more thrilling with the added dimension of the virtual reality experience. After that, you make your way back to the Wicker Man, a wooden coaster that twists and turns through a fiery structure. The heat from the flames is intense, but the thrill of the ride is worth it as you scream your way through the twists and turns.

Feeling a little waterlogged, you decided to take on the Congo River Rapids, a water ride that takes you on a journey through rapids and waterfalls. Your grandad is a little hesitant about getting wet, but as you both laugh and shriek your way through the ride, you can tell he’s having the time of his life.

Next up is the Runaway Mine Train, a classic coaster that takes you on a journey through the hills and valleys of the park. Your grandad loves the old-fashioned charm of the ride, and as you whoop and holler your way through the turns and dips, you feel a sense of nostalgia for the classic attractions of the past.

Feeling brave, you decided to take on The Smiler, a record-breaking coaster that features 14 loops and a heart-stopping drop. The sheer speed of the ride is breathtaking, and you can’t help but feel a little dizzy by the time it’s over.

Finally, you make your way to Oblivion, a vertical drop coaster that sends you plummeting down a 180-foot drop. Your grandad is a little apprehensive about this one, but as you reach the top of the drop, he takes a deep breath and lets out a shout of excitement as you hurtle towards the ground.

As the day draws to a close, you and your grandad reflect on the incredible experiences you’ve had at Alton Towers over the past two days. From the brand new thrills of The Curse at Alton Manor to the classic charm of the Runaway Mine Train, you’ve shared unforgettable memories and created a special bond that will last a lifetime.

What do you guys reckon to ChatGPT’s appraisal of our weekend?

I’d like to think that AI isn’t good enough to replace me at this stage (I still fully intend on hand-writing my trip reports, anyway!), but I have to say that I was pretty impressed with both responses overall!