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Florida Part Eleven: Legoland

gavin

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Re: Florida Part Two: Animal Kingdom

LFTL said:
Those hotels do look pretty dire, and though I don't know exactly what they run (overpriced I'm sure)

I paid around $650 for five nights, which isn't dreadful, but that was with a "winter discount rate". When you consider I later paid $350 for seven nights for a basically identical room, including breakfast which I didn't get at Disney, on International Drive, you start to see how overpriced it is. You're paying for the Disney name and the overall convenience of not having to think for yourself as they babysit you every step of the way.

The transport was excellent, but I could have stayed somewhere else in a more convenient location, got taxis to the parks, and still paid a lot less overall.

Ben said:
Everest is good, probably a bit better than Grizzly.

I've thought about it a lot, and I think they're quite evenly matched to be honest, but for different reasons. EE is undoubtedly the more intense coaster, but I like that BGM has three distinct sections that get progressively better. BGM has much better ineraction with the area as a whole and for spectators. Everest only really has that one vantage point. I think a night ride on BGM gives it a slight edge as it's lit up beatifully. The execution of the the backwards drop on BGM is done a lot better, though the backwards section itself is not as good.

To be honest though, I think BGM should be compared more to Big Thunder Mountain, as that's basically what it has replaced in the Hong Kong park, but even then they're totally different. It's really only the trains and the fact that it has a backwards section that make it similar to EE.

Day 3: Magic Kingdom

Again, I woke up stupidly early without really wanting to, so decided to just suck it up and get to Magic Kingdom for opening at 8 o’ clock. Ridiculous. It was closing at 1am, so I could’ve easily got there later and still got what I wanted done. I got there just as the opening ceremony thing was finishing and was straight into the park.

The crane was magical; such a wonderful first impression!

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To be fair, it was gone a couple of hours later; it’s just a shame that it was up at all when the park was open. There was also some construction going on just in front of the castle on some viewing area. It was gorgeous.

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I had a fastpass for Seven Dwarfs Mine Train much later that evening, but headed straight there anyway, assuming, correctly, that it would be busy all day.

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Even though the park had just opened, it already had a 45-minute queue, so I decided not to bother and get some other stuff done first while queues at other rides in the area were at a minimum.

I got the roller skater done and dusted for the +1 since it was walk-on and I really didn’t want to spend time queuing for it later.

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I also got the dark rides in the area done, assuming that they’d get pretty busy later, especially Peter Pan. I was right to do that; I only waited ten minutes for Peter Pan, but by the time I got out the queue was up to 40 minutes and didn’t drop below that for the rest of the day from what I could see. I’ll just throw a few thoughts in on each ride and then a bunch of pictures. Oh, The Little Mermaid ride was down for annual maintenance. I’d just done it a few months earlier in California though, so it wasn’t a huge disappointment. I really like it though.

Peter Pan: I don’t really get the love for it to be honest. It’s dated, short and not worth waiting for. The queue line is the best part. I loved it as a kid though, so I can see the appeal to families.

Small World: Needs an overhaul. It’s looking tired and shabby. It's pretty grim really.

Philharmagic: Identical to Hong Kong’s apart from the entrance area. I like this. As far as 3D shows go, it’s decent and always worth a go if there’s a minimal wait.

Winnie the Pooh: Again, pretty much the same as Hong Kong’s, but either Hong Kong’s has some better effects or they just weren’t working on this one. It’ll just be an age thing, but Hong Kong’s feels a lot fresher and seems to be a bit more popular as it gets longer lines even on quiet days. The soundtrack on this one seemed too quiet as well. The queue line and exterior were much better though, with stuff for kids to do. Hong Kong’s is just a cattle pen.

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Haunted Mansion was excellent as always. It’s one of the rides that I loved as a kid, but probably appreciate even more now.

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It was cool to spot a few things that have also made it over to Mystic Manor, for example the Medusa painting and one of the talking/singing heads in the graveyard; the same face (I’m pretty sure) has made it into the first room of Mystic Manor and comes alive when the “magic” is released form the box.

I did the Hall of Presidents thing much later in the evening as it wasn’t something I really wanted to take time out to do when there was so much more to do first.

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I just don’t get it to be honest. It just seems bizarre to have this attraction based on real people, and politics, in the middle of a theme park designed around fantasy. I guess it appeals to a local audience though.

On the other hand, Country Bear Jamboree is f**ing FAB.

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Big Thunder Mountain broke down right as I got to it, but reopened about an hour or two later. It broke down three times that I could see over the course of the day. I was checking the Disney app quite often for waiting times, and you could see when something was f**ked as it would be “temporarily suspended”. A lot of things were temporarily suspended over the course of the day.

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The parade was about to start though, and begins right next to that area, so I stuck around to watch it.

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It was piss-poor to be honest, and a hell of a lot shorter than I’d thought it would be. The whole thing froze for about ten minutes right near the end, obviously because the big dragon wasn’t working. Eventually, they just gave up and continued with it not doing anything. It was a bit of a shame as it clearly would have been a strong ending to an otherwise dull parade. It still looks impressive even when it’s knackered I guess.

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I had a fastpass for Splash Mountain later in the day, assuming it would be busy as the other two I've done were very popular and got long lines. Right after the parade, it was walk-on though. I like the ride, so an extra ride or two would definitely be welcome.

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Big Thunder Mountain was back up and running by this point.

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I loved this as a kid, and still really enjoyed it this time around. It could definitely benefit from the new tunnel effects that California now has, but is still a solid family coaster and worth another go later in the day.

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I had a fastpass for Space Mountain, knowing that I’d want at least two rides on it to get both sides, so I headed over to Tomorrowland. I’d ridden it before, but didn’t remember which side I’d already done, so I needed to do both so that I’d definitely know I could add the +1. See, no crane:

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I used the fastpass for my first ride, then joined the regular queue, waiting for about 20 minutes, to get the other side. I couldn’t tell any difference between the two really.

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As a coaster, it’s probably the best of all the Space Mountain rides down to having a couple of decent drops and a bit of interaction with riders going up the opposite lifthill. However, it’s not the smoothest (not rough, just showing its age a bit), and as an overall attraction, the California/Hong Kong version is my favourite. The onboard soundtrack and better lighting make a massive difference.

1. California/Hong Kong
2. Florida
3. Tokyo (same coaster as California/Hong Kong, but without the audio)
4. Paris (piece of s**t)

Carousel of Boredom was walk-on or I wouldn’t have bothered:

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The people mover thing broke down around this time and didn’t reopen for the rest of the day. Meh.

Stitch’s Great Escape was gash. Just really, really poor.

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The Buzz Lightyear shooter was also the weakest of the bunch, mostly down to the guns being fixed to the front of the car.

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I wasn’t going to bother with Monsters Inc Laugh Floor, but ended up popping in right at the end of the day/night before I left just to see what it was really. As I feared, it was one of those talking to the audience things that I f**king HATE and try to avoid

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Sometime in the middle of the afternoon, it started to rain and didn’t stop for the rest of the day. This was annoying, but it also meant that a lot of people just buggered off out of the park, which was nice. I made a bit of a stupid mistake by going straight to Pirates of the Caribbean, which a lot of people also did, meaning a 45 minute wait, which dropped to 5-10 minutes by the time I got off and didn’t go up again.

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Hmmmm, this is another ride I loved as a kid, but now that I’ve done all of them, I think it’s the weakest of the bunch. It’s still a great ride, but felt quite short. I can’t remember Paris’s in any great detail really, but I definitely prefer the California and Tokyo version over Florida’s, probably for the whole Bayou opening section more than anything.

Jungle Cruise was walk-on at this point, probably thanks to the rain. I didn’t take any pictures though.

Enchanted Tiki Room is fab.

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At some point, I’d used my fastpass for a second ride on Splash Mountain, but decided to give it a night ride later as well since the queue had dropped right down. It broke down right before the final lifthill and drop though, so I was stuck for about ten minutes before we got evacuated and led out through the staff access areas.

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Interesting (or not) fact: the whole ride has pressure pads built into the floor next to the water trough to alert staff if anyone somehow gets out of the boats. I’m guessing it didn’t actually used to have lapbars? Otherwise, these seems like a very difficult/unlikely scenario now.

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They gave us a fastpass on the way out, which I used for another ride on Space Mountain. I was going to use it for Big Thunder Mountain, but that was pretty much walk-on by this point. My fastpass for Seven Dwarfs was for late in the day. The queue time, which had been up to two hours earlier, was down to about half an hour, so after using the fastpass, I just sucked it up for a reride.

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It’s much better than I was expecting to be honest. The swaying of the cars is barely noticeable, but the coaster section was more substantial than I thought. Obviously, the dark ride section was stunning, but you actually go through it quite quickly, so it’s not easy to take it in fully without a reride. It’s a great little ride though.

After the reride it was time for the various night shows, starting with the electrical parade (I think?), then the projection show on the castle and then the fireworks. The projection thing was really impressive. The electrical parade was a bit poor though, and really doesn’t seem to have changed since I saw it as a kid, when I found it much more impressive; I guess everything looks more impressive when you’re that much shorter though.

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‘Murica!!!

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That last float, as in the daytime parade, broke down and ended up being pulled through the rest of the course by something resembling a golf cart.

Final picture:

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Ok, so some overall thoughts. Hmmmmm. It’s a great park, but certain aspects felt a bit tired to be honest. There were soooooooo many breakdowns over the course of the day as well. Luckily, the app is brilliant for keeping tabs on queue times and seems to be updated in real time, so most breakdowns didn’t really affect me, and they got things up and running again. Over the course of the day though, the following rides suffered downtime:

Thunder Mountain (for a good couple of hours)
Space Mountain
Pirates
Peter Pan
Splash Mountain (multiple times)
Jungle Cruise
People Mover (stayed closed all afternoon/evening after breaking down earlier in the day)

Then you’ve got two parade floats that broke down during parades that were already a bit s**t to begin with, a huge crane next to the castle for the first few hours after opening, which is exactly when it really shouldn’t be there as it ruins the impact of entering the park for the vast majority of guests, and some of the older, “classic” attractions just feeling a bit run down and stale really.

So yeah, it’s a weird one. It’s absolutely a top-notch park, which is gorgeous in a lot of areas, but I didn’t get the whole “Disney Magic” from it that I was expecting. Obviously, I wasn’t expecting to get the same feelings I did as during my first visit as a kid, and there’s loads more to do there now than there was then.

Having said that, I still got that feeling we I went to the California park last summer, I got it in Tokyo, and still get a sense of it in Hong Kong despite having been countless times now, so I really don’t think it’s as simple as me being a bit jaded at this point. I think if I had to order the parks, I’d have to put them:

1. California – Loved it. Gorgeous park with sooooo much to do.
2. Hong Kong – Far fewer attractions than the others, but the quality is really high, with unique attractions and “best” versions of classics. The location and atmosphere are lovely. It’s a much more relaxing/chilled day out as well.
3. Tokyo – VERY similar to Magic Kingdom really, but seemed to be a bit less tired
4. Magic Kingdom – By no means anything even close to a bad park, and kicks the arse of 99% of other parks the world over, but it just didn’t click for me this time.
5. Paris – Meh.
 

Martyn B

CF Legend
Re: Florida Part Three: Magic Kingdom

I completely get what you're saying about the MK. It's a really good park that I do love, but when I pin point each attraction, I struggle to find many that I really enjoy.

I don't 'get' Jungle Cruise, so I didn't like it and Pirates was far too short. I HATE how they have Splash and Big Thunder in a small dead end, the crowds can be **** ing ridiculous. Stitch and Buzz were in a really poor state, like, embarrassingly poor by Disney standards. And it annoyed the goon inside me how they have no divide between Tomorrowland and Fantasyland, with the Tomorrowland Speedway entering Fantasyland.

I've read this report word for word so far, but I can't remember when you said you visited (in Feb I know, was this a weekend?). It seemed to be really busy, with insane opening hours compared to my trip in September when it closed at 7pm.
 

gavin

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Re: Florida Part Three: Magic Kingdom

^ It was a Tuesday in February. It should have been quiet, but Orlando had an unseasonably busy few days early that week, which seemed to calm down by Friday.

And it annoyed the goon inside me how they have no divide between Tomorrowland and Fantasyland, with the Tomorrowland Speedway entering Fantasyland.

YES! Fantasyland was a weird one. Some parts of it were stunning, for example the whole Little Mermaid/Beauty and the Beast area, but then others were fugly. I'm thinking around Barnstormer and that horrible circus tent and the way it just leaks into Tomorrowland.
 
Re: Florida Part Three: Magic Kingdom

Thank goodness, someone who doesn't wet themselves over Peter Pan! I do NOT understand the love for it at all. It's sooo short and the lines are often so long (thankfully any time I've ever went on one I've had a Fastpass). If they had made it longer I probably would like it more, because what they do have is kind of cool, and I can see the appeal for kids, but as an adult I just don't find it great. Now that I've done the ones in America at least, I'd never reride them.

$650 for a week isn't too bad at the hotel I suppose, but like you said, it can be done a lot cheaper even with the taxis. I'd probably continue to stay off site if I go back to either Disney park. California is obviously way easier to get around though.

I had the same issue with Space Mountain as far as not knowing which side I had, which is a huge burden when the park is busy (thank goodness for Fastpass, of course).

I can't wait to try some of the overseas Disney parks to see how they compare, but I agree with your comparisons of California vs. Florida at least. Pirates in California was a lot better I thought, and the flow/amount to do in the park is superior. It has much more of a magic feel.

**** the crane, also.
 

gavin

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Re: Florida Part Three: Magic Kingdom

LFTL said:
$650 for a week isn't too bad at the hotel I suppose, but like you said, it can be done a lot cheaper even with the taxis. I'd probably continue to stay off site if I go back to either Disney park. California is obviously way easier to get around though.

Yeah, California was great. I stayed at the Travelodge just up the road for around $45 a night and could just walk to the parks and Downtown Disney in about 10 minutes, which was perfect for getting to the parks and getting food and stuf in the evenings. You feel that you're still at a Disney resort without resorting to paying their prices.

Day 4: Hollywood Studios

I was up and ready to get to Hollywood Studios shortly after opening. The first couple of days had been really warm, but this day, and the following one, were really cold. The hat was still in the process of being taken down, so the entrance area was looking stunning.

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I headed straight for Toy Story Midway Mania, but it already had a 45 minute queue, so I didn’t go for that straight away. It got up to a couple of hours at one point, but I managed to wait 45 minutes towards the end of the day.

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I should have fastpassed it really, but because of the various groupings of fastpass choices I couldn’t since I’d got one for Fantasmic that evening. That was a mistake really, but I’ll get back to that later.

Instead, I just walked straight onto the Great Movie Ride. This was one of a few things here that I’d done before, but I really couldn’t remember much of it.

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The inside of the building has been done really well. I went into the real Chinese Theatre in Hollywood in the summer, and they’ve actually managed to capture the look and atmosphere of the place brilliantly.

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The ride itself was decent, too. It’s up there with the better “look-at-stuff” dark rides where the ride system itself doesn’t do much.

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The Little Mermaid show was just about to start, so I headed in there. I didn’t even know what it was, but figured it couldn’t be a ride since they’ve got that at Magic Kingdom.

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It was decent enough. The black light puppetry stuff at the beginning was cool if a bit tacky, as was the huge Ursula animatronic (not as cool as DisneySea’s version though). Worth watching once and not too long, but I probably wouldn’t bother again.

I had a fastpass for Tower of Terror, but knew that I’d want a few rides on it, so joined the regular queue.

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It was posted at half an hour, but I’m guessing that one of the ride shafts broke down for a bit since it jumped up to an hour suddenly, and then back down to 30 minutes when I was out even though the line was the same length. I ended up waiting about 45 minutes for it. Later in the day, I was getting on in about 10.


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A lot of people go on about how this version is sooooooo much better than the other three. Yes and no to be honest. It depends on the drop sequence. On my first ride, I got a sequence that seemed to be pretty much identical to the other rides (which don’t have a random sequence). It was still brilliant because all of these rides are, but not noticeably different from the others.

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I didn’t really like the way that the cars leave the elevator shaft and move through that random crap before going into the other shaft. I actually think the newer towers have better pre-drop sections where the lift just opens at different floors and you see some special effect stuff.

On later rides, I got some much better drop sequences, and they definitely pushed this version to the top of the pile. I honestly don’t think the airtime is any stronger; the climax of the newer three towers seems just as strong as the bigger drops on this one. It’s just that with a decent sequence, you get more drops here with a lot of them being very strong, so yeah there’s “more airtime” in that respect.

Rock ‘n’ Rollercoaster was next, which was the only thing here to have a single rider line. Extremely annoyingly, they kept opening and closing the single rider queue at seemingly random intervals, so I had to go back a few times before managing to get a reride; I wasn’t going to wait 40 minutes+ for it.

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I really liked this in Paris, but found it to be very mediocre here. I’m not saying that the one in Paris is better, because it isn’t, but it’s more of a standout ride in a park full of s**t I guess.

The big disappointment of the day was Beauty and the Beast.

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I was expecting something like the Aladdin show at California Adventure, which is an amazingly-staged show in a proper theatre. This thing was just outdoor bleachers seating and a cheap, unchanging set. Cool costumes, but piss-poor staging and overall a very mundane effort. Shame, but carrying on the theme of crappy daytime shows that I’d been finding at the other parks so far.

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I absolutely LOVED the Indiana Jones show as a kid, but was surprised that it was still actually going all these years later. I figured that it was probably really dated by now.

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It has aged really well though, which just goes to show that it was a fantastic show for its time. The giant boulder was f**ked, which was disappointing as it’s probably the best bit, but followed the theme of Disney breakdowns and f**k ups that I'd got used to over the last few days. I also found the whole “let’s pretend we’re making a film with this pretend director” thing quite annoying. I get it, they’re supposed to be showing you how stuff gets made, but I HATE that style. Also, get to f**k with the audience participation. PLEASE. It spoils so many otherwise decent shows.

I had a fastpass for Star Tours that I really didn’t need to be honest. I figured it would be one of the busier attractions, but it never seemed to get too bad of a queue. There weren’t really any decent options to change it to though.

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It’s great for a simulator, it really is, but it is still just a simulator. The more I think about it, the more disappointing it becomes that Iron Man in Hong Kong is probably just going to be this with a different film/films, and considering it’s taking such a looooooong-arsed time to get it done, I’m losing interest now.

I’ll just throw a couple of pictures in. They were heavily promoting the new Cinderella film and they had the actual carriage they used for filming.

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The Walt W@nkfest was pretty interesting. I don’t think I learned anything new though.

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There were some buildings with random crap in them around the same area. I forget the name and I’m not going to look it up. The best part was watching these two Japanese schoolgirls having a breakdown when they got to meet Hiro. They were there for ages, holding up the line and just wouldn’t let him go, jabbering on in Japanese at the terrified, mixed-race, American teenager who obviously didn’t speak a word.

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I’d skipped the car stunt show in Paris due to poor timings, so thought I’d give this one a go. I don’t really tend to take pictures during shows as I prefer to just take them in properly.

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Considering the large scale of the show, with some pretty elaborate stuff with the explosions and everything, it’s hard to believe that they’ve created something which is just really, really f**king boring. Again, they’ve gone with the “Hey guys, we’re filming something!” approach, and it’s DULL. These shows are just better when there’s a basic story and they’re presented as “real”. In that respect, the show at Chimelong Paradise is similar to this, but they just present it as a story rather than stopping and starting the “filming” every 30 bloody seconds.

It’s another example of Disney being maybe too clever, and/or too controlling with making everything as “real” as possible. The audience know that this isn’t a real car chase, so let’s pretend we’re filming a car chase. I get it; it’s Hollywood STUDIOS, but still. BORING. At least there was a decent view of something a thousand times more interesting.

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Also, on the way out, I could see over to the old backlot tour which had closed about 6 months earlier. I’d done it as a kid and really liked it, but I don’t think I would have as much now.

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Muppetvision 3D. I don’t know; I actually kind of like this still. It’s definitely dated, but it’s enjoyable enough, with the actual theatre effects being better than the 3D film.

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Have a few more Tower of Terror. Towards the end of the day , the queue was really small, so I managed to get a few rides in. Kind of annoying that I’d spent quite a while queueing earlier, but there was still plenty of time to do everything else here regardless.

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I think the hotel lobbies in these things are probably my favourite themed environments; they’re all just perfect. As a whole attraction they’re all just perfect really. It would be nice for the others to have the randomized drop sequences though.

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I have to say that I prefer the basement theming of Tokyo’s though. The boiler rooms of the others are done perfectly, but Tokyo’s storage room full of artifacts is a bit more interesting, as is the preshow.

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Hollywood Sex Offenders Walk of Shame was an interesting, yet surprisingly unpopular, attraction.

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I’d got a fastpass for Fantasmic since I’d really liked the California show, but it was a pain in the arse because of the viewing areas. I’d got a good spot, but ended-up getting really pissed off at the general pushing and shoving, especially by entitled gluttons on mobility scooters, so I figured that a fastpass would get me into an area that avoided that.

What I didn’t know was that, unike in California, this version is in its own purpose built ampthitheatre, which is huge and actually seated; you’re not just crowding around regular walkways.

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The fastpass gets you into the area with the best seating, but to be honest it was largely unnecessary since you’d still be able to see from anywhere. In the respect that it was all seated, this version is executed much better than California’s. You find a seat, sit down, and you’re done. It’s understandable in California though; they had to use an existing lake and make the best of it.

As far as the actual show though, California’s is better. They’re basically the same, but the snake and dragon in Cali’s are much better I think, as are the boats used that parade across the lake. It’s still an impressive show, but I certainly wouldn’t waste a fastpass on it again.

I managed to get another ride in on TOT just before they closed it, then headed out.

I enjoyed my day here, but writing this report has made me realize that it’s actually not that strong of a park. In terms of rides, Tower of Terror is the only real standout I think. Star Tours, Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster, Midway Mania and The Great Movie ride are good without being exceptional, and that just leaves you with the shows really, of which only Indiana Jones and Fantasmic are actually worth any effort.

It’s a nice park; it really is. There’s a nice atmosphere about the place. However, the whole American streets/studio theming is executed A LOT better over at Universal Studios; parts of Hollywood Studios feel cheap to be honest.

It’s come a long way since my first visit as a kid, which was just a couple of years after it opened and the only attractions were, off the top of my head, Star Tours, Indiana Jones, Muppetvision, Great Move Ride and the Backlot Tour, but I seem to remember that actually being pretty extensive and taking quite a while to get through.

So yeah, it’s a strange one. I had a great day, but when I look back at it I feel a bit less impressed.
 

Youngster Joey

Strata Poster
Re: Florida Part Four: Disney's Hollywood Studios

Chiming in late, but yeah gavin the lap bars on Splash Mountain were added a few years back as people were getting out of the boats by themselves too often. It used to just have handles on the back of the seats. The lap bars suck :/

Also I love muppet vision and I'm glad to hear someone else thinks it still holds up
 
Re: Florida Part Four: Disney's Hollywood Studios

Aw, I really liked the car show! I also thought Indiana Jones might have been dated because it was one of the only things I remember doing there as a youngin, but it has withstood the test of time evidently, since it's still there and still attracts a big audience. Though, with that being said, so does Beauty and the Beast and that's a bit crap.

I thought Tower of Terror was far superior in Florida to the one in California. I thought California's was a bit meh really, but that could be because my whiney ex boyfriend was about to cry and ruined the whole experience.

I think you're pretty spot on with your assessment of the park. I agree with you about the lack of truly "great" attractions there. I do love the park and it's a nice day out, despite going last time and being met by massive queues, but there's nothing of true Disney quality apart from Tower of Terror and Fantasmic, in my opinion. I regret not seeing Little Mermaid though.

Can't wait to read more! Love your reports.
 

Martyn B

CF Legend
Re: Florida Part Four: Disney's Hollywood Studios

DHS is nice, but after I first visited I was a bit shocked at how much stick WDS gets. DHS is just as bad in my opinion, the only difference is it looks prettier.
 

gavin

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Re: Florida Part Four: Disney's Hollywood Studios

^ You're right in that in terms of rides and attractions, there's not much between them. Having said that, it just goes to show what a massive difference overall appearance and atmosphere can make. DHL is a pleasant park to spend some time in; WDS just isn't.

Day 5: Epcot

Despite there being quite a bit of new stuff since I was there as a kid, Epcot was the park that definitely seemed most familiar since it doesn’t really look any different. This was the second day that was f**king freezing, probably even colder than the first. Unlike the start of the week, the place in general was starting to quieten down a bit.

I didn’t take all that many photos here compared with the other 3 Disney parks, but it’s not like there’s anything new to look at.

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I headed to The Land area first, thinking that Soarin’ had a single rider line as it does in California. It doesn’t. The queue was at 40 minutes and I knew it was unlikely to get any shorter, so I sucked it up anyway. I was right as I saw it get up to 3 hours later. I wouldn’t have bothered, but for some reason I thought that this version at least had a different film, which it doesn’t.

Right as I was about to go in, the side I was on broke down –sorry, I mean the “flight was cancelled” (oh, piss off Disney) - so there was faff while they transferred us over to the other side, then we had to wait while they reseated the riders from the broken-down side for a reride. I’m guessing/hoping the ridiculous lines later were down to them not getting the other side back up.

Soarin’ is a load of old s**te really, isn’t it? It’s just a simulator with a big screen, and a simulator that doesn’t even move very much at that. The screen also had a small, but noticeable, black splodge that kept appearing intermittently, making a crap ride even crapper.

I didn’t do this Circle of Life thing. I figured that I didn’t need one of Disney’s most annoying characters preaching at me about conservation while I was sitting in a theme park complex which uses 70 megawatts of electricity per day in a country that refuses to ratify any treaty that will commit them legally to reduce carbon dioxide emissions. Just saying.

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I did Living with the Land, though. I haven’t got any pictures, but for those of you who don’t know, It’s a boat ride through a greenhouse. Amazing. You’d swear by the way they went on that that handful of plants was feeding the entire resort. Load of old bollocks.

This section seemed very familiar as it hadn’t changed since I was a kid.

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Journey to Imagination had a bit of a queue, so I decided to do it later, but by the time I got back around to it, it had broken down and didn't reopen.

Captain Paedo, surprisingly, didn’t have a queue at all. I thought this was a bit crap as an 11-year-old. As an adult, I’ve come to realise that it’s actually a steaming pile of fetid s**t. They’re trying to present it as “look how dated and crap things were back in the ‘80s!” and failing miserably. Get rid of it.

Test Track had a single rider queue, which was great as it was posting consistently long waiting times. I never had to wait more than 10 minutes for it.

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I really liked this, but I like the whole ride system in general. I never rode it before, so have no comparison, but I didn’t find the indoor section that bad. It looks cheap and tacky, but the movement of the cars themselves is decent. The outdoor section is obviously the highlight though.

Of the three rides using this system across the parks, it’s the overall weakest of the bunch. They’ve really taken these things to a massively different level with Journey to the Centre of the Earth and Radiator Springs Racers, not so much in terms of the ride tech, but with the theming and making them much better overall attractions.

I enjoyed Mission Space a lot more than I thought I would. It’s definitely one of the most intense Disney attractions, not just down to the physical forces, but also because it’s actually really claustrophobic.

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I skipped that Energy Adventure thing at first since I was put off by the “45 minutes” stuff on the sign, but went back to it at the end of the day as I had enough time before the fireworks.

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I would have been on the original incarnation of this, but I really can’t remember even though the dinosaur bit seemed a bit familiar. The whole dinosaur bit is pretty good, but some of the film sections are just overly-long. Props to Disney for using filthy sapphist Ellen DeGeneres and equally hell-bound Bill Nye when a large proportion of their audience are the types of people who believe the Earth is around 5,000 years old.

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World Showcase then.

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I went clockwise, starting with Mexico as I knew there was a ride in there somewhere.

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The ride was gash.

Some European stuff:

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I’d left Asia specifically to get away from Chinese New Year, but the Chinese bint who introduced the Reflections of China “show” made sure everyone knew about it.

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F**k me, Reflections of China is bad. How old is that thing? It’s just horrendously outdated, not just in its content (Shanghai and Hong Kong are unrecognisable) but in the whole style of attraction.

They had some Chinese acrobats doing a show as I came out. They were decent enough.

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Germany:

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Italy:

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The American Adventure was an interesting one, probably for all the wrong reasons. I had no idea it was here, but it’s a pretty major show.

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It’s actually huge inside. Before the main show, there was singing by this a capella group. I forget the name; let’s just call them Diabetes in Period Costume. They were very good.

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The main show was in a decent theatre, and was actually pretty impressive in terms of the scale of the thing and some decent animatronics.

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The content is basically a rather select History of OUR GREAT NATION and, as you can guess, is all very “U.S.A! U.S.A!” with a side order of “FREEDOM”, which for any non-American is just really hilarious. It’s not really any different to North Korea when you think about it. The complete glossing over of the usurpation of land and the slaughter of the Native Americans was a nice touch.

I left The American Adventure with a gunshot wound, a hideous Hawaiian shirt and a complete inability to understand the concept of irony before moving onto a country with less history of war crimes: Japan.

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I found Morocco to be one of the more authentic areas; it was all done really well.

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France:

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I skipped “Impressions de France” since I couldn’t translate the foreign title and had no idea what it was about.

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UK:

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Snow Mexico:

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I also skipped “O’ Moosef**ker” as I couldn’t put myself through another crappy video, especially since this one apparently had Martin Short in it, which should never be used as a selling point.

I left World Showcase with the smug, arrogant self-satisfaction of knowing that I’ve been to nine of the eleven countries featured – needing Norway and Mexico - making me better than EVERYONE else in the park.

I’d walked past Spaceship Earth on the way in, so did it after I’d walked around World Showcase.

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As I’m typing, I can’t remember a damned thing about it other than being on my back for about three hours going back to the station.

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The Finding Nemo thing was ok, but the actual aquarium it was built around, though pretty big, was pretty uninteresting.

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I watched the IllumiNations (ingenious use of that second capital letter there) show at the end of the night, while freezing my tits off, then headed out since the parks closes with the show. It was good, and in keeping with Disney World’s evident “Excellent Night-time, S**ty Day-time show” policy.

Overall thoughts then:

I don’t get it.

Test Track and Mission Space are good, but the other rides are pretty poor. That leaves you with World Showcase, which I’m well aware is the main draw of the park. I enjoyed walking around World Showcase; it’s gorgeous and done very, very well.

It’s not trying to look exactly like any particular location, but instead mashes together a variety of styles that you would see in each country. Most of us would recognise that especially in the UK section. You can see those styles of buildings in real life, but they’re obviously not all in the same place. It’s a nice area to walk around until you realise one thing…

…the whole area is basically just one big retail experience which you’ve paid to get into. It’s all just souvenirs, food and drink. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but this is a place costs you $97 to get in. Obviously, nobody just goes to Epcot for the day, but the potential of paying $97 for what is, essentially, a glorified shopping mall is slightly ridiculous.

If the whole World Showcase thing was done as a “Downtown Disney” type place, it would be amazing, but as a theme park attraction I think it’s all a bit of a cheek really.

I strangely didn’t hate Epcot, but unless I had one of those ridiculous 14-day pass things (why do people do that?) and nothing else to do, I probably wouldn’t go back.
 
Re: Florida Part Five: Epcot

Imagine being an eight year old kid going to Disney for the first time with all of these visions of grandeur in your head, and then the first park you go to is Epcot, with the first attraction being Spaceship Earth. Let's just say I did NOT get a good first impression of Disney!

I think everyone has a fairly similar "wtf" point of view on the park. There's a decent amount to do and World Showcase in nice to meander around, but I personally would probably not go back. I had a good time there, but nothing stood out apart from maybe Test Track and Misson Space. I'd rather spend a day doing something else to be honest. The entire park is pretty much the same from back in 2001 when I first went. I also hated the way Canada is portrayed in the World Showcase!

Captain EO </3 I think I fell asleep.
 

Jordanovichy

Credit Whore 2016
Re: Florida Part Five: Epcot

Well clearly when I post my EPCOT report in my trip report tomorrow you'll all disagree with everything I said.

- I loved EPCOT
- I loved Soarin'
- World Showcase works excellently.

I suppose this is all because I'm not experienced at this yet so am overwhelmed at seemingly **** things to someone like Gavin who has seen much more. Hopefully I have many years before I become as cynical. ;)
 

nadroJ

CF Legend
Re: Florida Part Five: Epcot

^Nah, I'd like to say I've done a fair amount of parks and I still love Epcot and Soarin' (I think it's the music for me?). I just think it's wonderful, the whole damn place. I like it because it's weird, but also because I'm a bit of a Disney purist and EPCOT is one of those places where Disney kind of took it too far and made this weird...place that is unlike anywhere else in the world, because let's face it who has the cash to spend on a prototype like EPCOT. It's like being in a Kubrick movie.
 
Re: Florida Part Five: Epcot

Oh yeah, I forgot to chime in that I also really like Soarin'. I didn't do the one in Florida, but I loved the one in California (only in the front row, though), and I can't imagine this is too far off.
 

PeskyTrimBrake

Hyper Poster
Re: Florida Part Five: Epcot

gavin said:
The content is basically a rather select History of OUR GREAT NATION and, as you can guess, is all very “U.S.A! U.S.A!” with a side order of “FREEDOM”, which for any non-American is just really hilarious. It’s not really any different to North Korea when you think about it. The complete glossing over of the usurpation of land and the slaughter of the Native Americans was a nice touch.

*claps slowly increasing in pace*

Great report so far Gavin!

I feel exactly the same way about Epcot. Sure its interesting to visit for one day but its not really to return for a second time. Felt it was more about retail than the experience and has potential for a bigger attraction. I personally hated Test Track and think the old one was better and had more effort put into theming. As for the new interactive queue, its pointless and just makes the line longer. Never have I ever waited 3 hours for a Disney ride just to design a damn car. If I recall, the car you design only appears when boarding the vehicle and makes no sense. The Circle of Life ride is rubbish and feels outdated. One of the rides I really enjoyed was Ellen's Energy Adventure which I find funny at times. As for for Soarin, its unique and never fails to dissapoint when you ride it, but the projection is a bit dull.

Look foward to reading the rest!
 

gavin

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Re: Florida Part Five: Epcot

^I totally skipped the whole car design thing. They also had it in the single rider queue, but I just didn't see the point.

Jordanovicy said:
I suppose this is all because I'm not experienced at this yet so am overwhelmed at seemingly **** things to someone like Gavin who has seen much more. Hopefully I have many years before I become as cynical.

The only things I found truly **** there were Soarin' - probably down to the annoyance of the longest line in the park for something that I'd done and disliked before - and Captain EO, which is inexcusable. I actually like World Showcase and find it to be very impressive until you realise that you've paid $90+ to walk around an overpriced shopping mall. There's not so much a problem with the place as a themed environment necessarily, but I don't get the whole concept of paying that much money to get in somewhere and then waiting in line for 20 minutes to pay £6 for half a pint of Tsing Tao and pretending it's part of some theme park experience.

Carrying on then...

I’ve been away on holiday for a couple of weeks, so have neglected this riveting report. However, since Jodanovichy has now completed his account of every bowel movement engaged in over a two week period and there aren’t, for once, any other Florida reports ongoing, I’ll make an effort to hammer through this over the next week or so.

Day 6: Sea World

I checked out of my Disney hotel in the morning, the one impeccably-themed to a cheap, s**ty roadside motel, and got a taxi to an actual cheap, s**ty roadside motel on International Drive since it was better located for all the other parks outside of Disney. As a point of reference for anyone who knows the area, it was opposite Magical Midway, basically walking distance to Universal and Fun Spot. It was just sooooooo much better than the Disney hotel. Well, not the hotel itself, although the room was basically identical, but the location. It was just nice having hundreds of food options right on the doorstep and not feeling so trapped.

Having said that, if I were to go back, I’d probably do something similar: stay on site for a few nights for the Disney parks – though NOT the All Star “resort” – and move up to I Drive for everything else. It worked for me since I didn’t want, or need, multiple days park-hopping around the parks. One day in each is plenty.

After quickly dumping my bags, I got on the I-Drive Trolley from right outside the hotel which went directly to Sea World, taking about 20 minutes and getting me there about half an hour or so after opening.

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Manta was closed due to the cold weather (load of bollocks), apparently opening at 1pm. Kraken was also closed.

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I had a quick look around the aquarium anyway, which was nice, but a lot smaller than I’d thought it would be based on reading previous trip reports and without actually having any manta rays. They had a fab octopus though.

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More animals:

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Journey to Atlantis was down for annual maintenance, which I guess I could’ve found out about, but I had no idea.

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Too bad really, but luckily it was the only coaster of the whole trip that I didn’t get to ride. Because of the time of year, I was expecting a few more things to be down for maintenance, but this was the only one.

Empire of the Penguin only had a 5-minute queue.

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I’d heard nothing but negative things about this, but went in with an open mind.

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What a pile of old s**te! It’s truly, truly appalling and such an absolute waste of a trackless ride system. Total gash. The penguin exhibit at the end is decent enough though.

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Next up was the manatees and turtles on the way through to that Turtle Trek thing.

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I kind of liked Turtle Trek at first. For what is basically just a 3D show, it was something different with the full 360 surround screens. They had to go and ruin it at the end though with a cheesy-as-f**k song and environmental message. Apparently, you can single-handedly save the world’s oceans by not leaving s**t on the beach. Good to know.

I didn’t bother with the dolphin show as I’ve seen too many and I just don’t enjoy them. The main dolphin tank looked nice enough, but whether or not the dolphins themselves are as impressed with some fake rock work is impossible to know.

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Seeing it testing, I headed back to Manta. It was only around 11am by this point, so it’s good that they actually made an effort to get the ride open at a decent time even though they’d already said it would be later.

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Since I was right there and got to it quickly, I was on within about 5 minutes.

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I’m not a massive fan of flyers to be honest, mostly due to not finding the riding position particularly comfortable, but I really liked this. I’d put it above Tatsu as my new favourite flyer, mostly down to the theming. Landscaping and spectator interaction, which Tatsu is seriously lacking in.

The queue was up to around half an hour for most of the day after that, so I got a couple more rides in. Even with shorter lines, it wouldn’t have been a coaster I could’ve whored anyway.

The first One Ocean (killer whales) show was due to start, so I headed over there. I’ve already been quite vocal regarding what I think about the whole thing in various other topics, so I’m not going to go on about it here as well. Instead, I’ll just focus on the show itself.

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It’s a bit crap really, isn’t it? I’d seen it as a kid and loved it, probably due to never having seen a killer whale before and the trainers being allowed in the water with the animals. This time, I just found it incredibly dull. It’s no different to any old dolphin show the world over, only with slightly bigger dolphins. There was also an air of real desperation about the whole thing. The only “educational” aspect (one of their bigger arguments for keeping them) consisted purely of trying to convince the audience that Sea World was the best possible place for the animals. It was all just a bit awkward.

At least there was a cred next to it. +1

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Parts of the park are a lot more attractive than I’d thought they’d be.

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I tried my hardest to work out the message of the various pieces of art, constructed from household waste, but I couldn’t figure it out. It was just too subtle.

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Shark Encounter then. As a kid, I have some vague memory of this being called something like Terrors of the Deep, and absolutely loving it. I remember there being some kind of preshow thing, with a big screen/curtain that pulled back to reveal the sharks.

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Now it’s just a shark tunnel, and not a very good one at that. To be fair, it would have been one of the earlier examples, but they’re now a common staple in parks and aquaria the world over, and they’ve been done so much better since. This is just small and tired looking and not befitting of, arguably, the world’s most famous marine park.

Kraken had been open for a while by this point.

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There were a constant stream of people queuing for it, but it was basically a walk-on unless you wanted the front row, and even then it was only about a ten-minute wait. General consensus of the ride seems to fall in the “Meh” category, but I really liked this. I tend to enjoy floorless coasters more than the majority it seems anyway, but this was definitely up there among the better ones of the type.

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Since it was walk-on, and very reridable, I got six goes on it in a row before calling it a day, grabbing a last ride on Manta on the way out.

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Thoughts then. I’d been here before, but when it was purely an animal park with no rides whatsoever apart from, I think, the skytower. It’s basically a completely different place now. It may be just my preference for what I look for in a park as I’m viewing them from an “enthusiast” perspective, but it now very much feels like a “rides” park with a few animals dotted about as opposed to the other way around.

The simple fact is, the animal exhibits are really not very impressive. Maybe I’ve been spoiled by the likes of Ocean Park and Chimelong Ocean Kingdom, but as far as the animals went, I found it a bit lackluster to be honest. As I kind of mentioned before though, I think it’s down to expectations. It’s probably the world’s best-known marine park, but their exhibits just didn’t match my expectations. Other parks are now doing it bigger and better, with a wider range of animals on display in much more impressive surroundings.

Having said that, I loved both Manta and Kraken, which I wasn’t really expecting to as reviews for Kraken tend to be on the negative side and I’m not a massive fan of flyers, so that was a good surprise. Also, some parts of the park are really pleasant, but it’s quite inconsistent, with some areas being really dumpy as well.

I’ll just quickly get the next day’s report up while I’m here.

Day 7: F**k all

Went out to a club in downtown Orlando the night before. Had a great night:

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Woke up in the afternoon. Crawled across the street to get some food. Ate half of it. Crawled back to bed. The end.
 
Re: Florida Part Six: Sea World

So annoyed I didn't go back to SeaWorld last year. It has changed a great deal since 2001 and I still need three of the creds :( glad you enjoyed Manta and Kraken though, since I've heard mostly bad reviews of at least one of the two.
 

peep

CF Legend
Re: Florida Part Six: Sea World

Glad you enjoyed Kraken. Not sure where you're reading the negative reviews of it? Clearly from people that are wrong?

I loathe SeaWorld parks, I think they're poorly designed and look tatty. At least with the Orlando one you get two good B&Ms and a great water coaster (a shame you got spited by that, it's fab).

As always, I look forward to reading the next part.
 

gavin

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Re: Florida Part Six: Sea World

Day 8: Funspot and more Seaworld

Originally, I’d been planning to hit up Fun Spot on one of the evenings, probably after one of the Universal parks since they close earlyish and are close, but I found myself waking up early on the Sunday with nothing to do. I ended up just going for a walk along I-Drive, and since that took me up to Fun Spot, I just decided to get it done. I’m glad I did since the Universal days were actually exhausting and I wouldn’t have really been in the mood.

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I think I got to the park around 11ish, and despite it being a weekend, there were practically no people there, with everything being a walk-on. This was the day after there’d been a shooting there as well, though I didn’t find that out until that evening when I got back to the hotel.

Even though I only wanted the three coasters, I knew I’d want re-rides on White Lightning which, fittingly based on the clientele, seems to have been named after a cheap cider. I ended up getting the wristband.

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I got about 8 rides in, never having to wait, and thought it was excellent for quite a small coaster. It’s a fairly straightforward layout, but has plenty of airtime and doesn’t seem to really slow down until it hits the brakes at the end.


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It’s the sort of thing that would be perfect for a smaller UK park, somewhere like Flamingoland or Drayton, as it’s an excellent ride which wouldn’t have cost that much. With the relatively small investment, it wouldn’t be that much of a risk with regards to that “woodies are unsafe/uninteresting/old” bulls**t excuse we keep hearing.

Freedom Flyer (Ugh), was uninteresting, but a decent addition for such a small park. I had a second ride on it just because it was there, but that was enough.

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Kiddy coaster for the +1

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Construction had started for their Screaming Swing and Gatorland thing.

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A few more White Lightning pictures to finish off with:

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So yeah, White Lightning was great, and they’re clearly putting a lot of investment into the place what with opening three coasters in the same year, but I didn’t really think much to the place as a whole. I think I would have preferred it in the evening, with more people, as I imagine it would have a better atmosphere, and in a lot of other places it would be a decent enough park. If you take it on its own merits, and see it a basic roadside attraction, it’s fine. When you think about it in a broader “Orlando” context though, not so much, and it’s expensive for what it is.

The wristband actually includes the other park in Kissimmee, too, which makes it decent value if you’ve got the time and inclination to head down there. I thought about it since I had the whole afternoon free, but without a car it seemed pretty much impossible. There’s probably a better way to do it, but the only method I could find involved a bunch of different buses which would’ve taken around 2 hours. I wasn’t about to do that for a kiddy coaster and a Zamperla spinner.

I got the I Drive trolley from just outside the park, intending to go to the outlet mall at the south end, but decided against it half way down since I didn’t have much luggage space and I basically live in one huge shopping mall anyway. Instead, I just got off at Seaworld and went there for a few hours instead.

I definitely didn’t need any more time there, but the combo ticket I had for Sea World and Busch Gardens was valid for 14 days, so I just thought f**k it.

Despite it being a weekend, it was actually quieter than the Friday, with Manta’s queue never getting above around 15 minutes and most things being walk-on.

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One of these is a murderer:

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I’d somehow missed Wild Arctic on my first visit a few days before.

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The simulator was crap and the short line seemed to take forever.

I got four rides in on both Manta and Kraken, which was basically the only reason for me to bother heading back into the park.

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I’d missed the dolphin “nursery” pool before, but recognized it as the main dolphin pool from ages ago. I say ages ago meaning when I’d visited as a kid; I’ve got no idea when it actually stopped being the main pool. It was a bit depressing really, what with it being basically a small concrete hole, but the dolphins clearly loved it as they had massive smiles on their faces.

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I thought I was almost getting done with this, but there are still four parks left. Totally over it and I’ve got more recent trips to get through, but I’ll aim to get this finished this week.
 
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