nadroJ
CF Legend
*Disclaimer* I did have photos but I dropped my phone into a jug of Can't Get You Out Of My Head and killed it, therefor this report will go ahead photoless until said phone has been revived.
So it recently came to our attention that Twinlakes appear to have relaxed a bit on their 'no adults sans child' rule, so combining this information with an upcoming trip to Manchester we decided to detour via Melton Mowbray for a sneaky +2.
It's pretty much in the middle of a field and anybody who has been to either of the Crealy parks will have a vague idea of what to expect from this sort of place; a **** load of play equipment, sheds of JOY containing slides of DEATH, a dash of casual copyright infringement and some crappy creds.
We didn't have much time in the park as we had some serious drinking to be getting on with, so we b-lined straight towards the first cred of the day, Buffalo Stampede, which is one of those crap powered things similar to the one at Drayton. It was turd. +1
After this we minced over to the 'China' area of the park which boasted a Dragon Falls better themed than its Chessington namesake and decided against wetness this time round. There was also a panda play area where we faffed and took panda selfies.
Next up was the 'Greece' area, complete with authentic theming such as a JCB digger, pirate ship and Wacky Worm coaster. I was irritated because I thought I'd finished all the Big Apples in the UK; I was wrong. There was a slight queue, but loads of adults so no shame. The drop was heavily trimmed. +1
Exiting the cred we noticed Twinlakes have a weird policy where they lock the exits gates, causing a big stupid queue and faff upon leaving the ride whilst you wait for the ride-op to release you. Burdenous.
We then entered the first shed of JOY that had a Roman theme (apparently). There was actually a quite good mirror maze that we got lost in for a tad and had to negotiate via the use of centurion markers. Also, DEATH SLIDES *heavy metal riff and air guitar*. We decided against because of the shame and found our way out and into shed two. This was themed to pirates/under the sea and had an indoor rapids ride. Crapids. The 'theming' effort was CRAP, half of the props still had barcodes stuck on them and it was all very dull. The most entertaining part was where Nic almost capsized <3
This shed also housed a massive air gun ball snooty game thing, but the shame once again drove us away and we ditched shed two and in classic theme park style, exited through the gift shop.
There were a couple of haunts to walk through so Ed and I ventured in whilst Nic annoyed some peacocks. They were realllllyyyyy long, dark and empty of scare actors despite the multiple signs warning that we would very definitely experience some scare actors and we MUST NOT TOUCH THEM. Meh.
We ended our afternoon at Twinlakes with a sashay through the fab farm. And then there was a shed full of bunnies and I died.
So it recently came to our attention that Twinlakes appear to have relaxed a bit on their 'no adults sans child' rule, so combining this information with an upcoming trip to Manchester we decided to detour via Melton Mowbray for a sneaky +2.
It's pretty much in the middle of a field and anybody who has been to either of the Crealy parks will have a vague idea of what to expect from this sort of place; a **** load of play equipment, sheds of JOY containing slides of DEATH, a dash of casual copyright infringement and some crappy creds.
We didn't have much time in the park as we had some serious drinking to be getting on with, so we b-lined straight towards the first cred of the day, Buffalo Stampede, which is one of those crap powered things similar to the one at Drayton. It was turd. +1
After this we minced over to the 'China' area of the park which boasted a Dragon Falls better themed than its Chessington namesake and decided against wetness this time round. There was also a panda play area where we faffed and took panda selfies.
Next up was the 'Greece' area, complete with authentic theming such as a JCB digger, pirate ship and Wacky Worm coaster. I was irritated because I thought I'd finished all the Big Apples in the UK; I was wrong. There was a slight queue, but loads of adults so no shame. The drop was heavily trimmed. +1
Exiting the cred we noticed Twinlakes have a weird policy where they lock the exits gates, causing a big stupid queue and faff upon leaving the ride whilst you wait for the ride-op to release you. Burdenous.
We then entered the first shed of JOY that had a Roman theme (apparently). There was actually a quite good mirror maze that we got lost in for a tad and had to negotiate via the use of centurion markers. Also, DEATH SLIDES *heavy metal riff and air guitar*. We decided against because of the shame and found our way out and into shed two. This was themed to pirates/under the sea and had an indoor rapids ride. Crapids. The 'theming' effort was CRAP, half of the props still had barcodes stuck on them and it was all very dull. The most entertaining part was where Nic almost capsized <3
This shed also housed a massive air gun ball snooty game thing, but the shame once again drove us away and we ditched shed two and in classic theme park style, exited through the gift shop.
There were a couple of haunts to walk through so Ed and I ventured in whilst Nic annoyed some peacocks. They were realllllyyyyy long, dark and empty of scare actors despite the multiple signs warning that we would very definitely experience some scare actors and we MUST NOT TOUCH THEM. Meh.
We ended our afternoon at Twinlakes with a sashay through the fab farm. And then there was a shed full of bunnies and I died.
