Dark rides not hitting at all - please tell me I'm not going insane???

[Rob Coasters]

Hi. A call for help here. Recently I've done a few dark rides where I've come off with zero feelings for them:
-River Caves
-Wallace and Gromit: Thrill-O-Matic
-Valhalla
-Pirates of the Caribbean
-Geister Rikscha
-Vliegende Hollander
-Fata Morgana
-Symbolica
-Villa Volta
-and literally every Europa Park dark ride except maybe Arthur or Voletarium.

And I've wondered why I ride so many of these supposedly world-class dark rides and come off thinking they weren't all that, and consistently being severely underwhelmed with all of them. However, after almost two years of struggling with enjoying dark rides, I think I've finally nailed my reason as to why: I don't understand the storyline, and I look at effects thinking "I wonder how they did that" or "oh hey it's Pepper's Ghost" or "oh that's impressive" without being able to immerse myself into the worlds in the slightest.

Not understanding the storyline results in:
-all of the sets become "ok figure it out yourself what any of this means".
-all of the sets feel disconnected from each other and I don't get why scene X follows scene Y.
-I don't understand what's happening, or why something's happening.
-I have no clue who the main characters are (unless it's made extremely obvious like with Pardoes in Symbolica, or if it's intentionally dubious and all the characters are just 'idk some pirates' for example).
-the endings always come as a surprise to me. a lot of dark rides end in me thinking "wait, it's over?" when the offload suddenly appears in view.
-if I look up the storyline before I ride it in order to understand what happens, do I run the risk of completely spoiling everything for myself?

Seeing all of the cool effects makes me think:
-oh, floating butterflies? I wonder how they made them float, are they attached to really difficult to see strings? and then I put my focus into trying to see the strings.
-oh, wizard dude holding a floating magical orb? I wonder if there's a hidden rod out of view that's making the orb appear as if it's floating.
-oh, spinning ghosts? I found out how they did that because I was so unbelievably fascinated by it, there's a hidden mirror under where the track is.
-if an effect intrigues or leaves me jaw-dropped as much as the spinning ghosts effect did, I end up finding out how they did it, and as a result ALL of the magic is lost when I see it on a future ride.

I wonder if anyone else has this issue: I cannot find a connection between almost any dark ride I do because I can't understand the storyline, what's happening or why, and when I see a cool effect all of my focus goes towards thinking "how did they do that" rather than being immersed into the world.
I try so hard to enjoy dark rides, I remember riding Piraten in Batavia and sitting on an edge seat and viewing the sets in a way that should theoretically bring me into the world - I looked in a way that blocked off the boat, any people, any ceilings, my full vision was the sets. And it failed to even suck me into the world a little bit.
Please check out my Europa Park trip reports to see me dive further into intricate details of what exactly I'm not fond of when it comes to their dark rides.

I can't keep coming off dark rides so disappointed by almost all of them. So many attractions that could be heartwarming masterpieces that could be real mood-brighteners, so many "good vibes" attractions that should have me coming off with the biggest smile on my face, yet almost none of them do. They all become "here's some physical sets that are connected in some way, good luck finding out how and no we won't tell you". You would think Madame Freudeunreich's Curiosites would have me become the most joyous person in the world after seeing all those dinosaurs in birthday suits. Ha...

It irritates me so much to have these views. There are dark rides that have almost made me cry (Droomvlucht). There are dark rides that NAIL it for me and have me coming off thinking it was one of the best rides I'd ever done (Phantom Manor). There are dark rides that just make me happy (Carnaval Festival). But there are countless others that don't do the same.

My questions are:
-can anyone relate to my problems? Is there anyone who shares this experience?
-what can I do to enjoy dark rides more? If I figure out how an effect works, is the magic just broken forever? Is there anything I can do to eliminate that "oh how did they do that?" thought in my mind and actually attempt to immerse myself into the attraction's worldbuilding? What do you do when you can't decipher a ride's story and all of the sets become "here's some models we built"?
-is there anything to 'save' dark rides for me? Have I gone too deep? Is me not rating so many world-class attractions just the beginning of a severe slippery slope into oblivion?

I wish I liked them more. I want to find out if there's anything I can do. I see people talking about Pirates in Batavia like it's the best thing they've literally ever ridden. I see people talking about Vliegende Hollander like it affected their entire life forever. I see people talking about Fata Morgana and how it made them cry just thinking about it. Can't relate. Can't relate. Can't relate. And it PAINS ME to think that way.

 

[Matt N]

@Rob Coasters To me, it sounds as though you’re simply someone who prefers quite an explicit, known storyline in their dark ride. And that’s fine; we all have different opinions! Truth be told, I’m somewhat similar to a degree. There are also a lot of people who prefer it when storylines aren’t explicitly told and the ride relies more on “show, don’t tell” to tell its story, and that’s fine too!

I’d also say that with foreign language dark rides, it will naturally be harder to follow a storyline, because it’s not in your native tongue. Any storyline-based ride will fall down if the story is being told in a language you’re not fluent in; if a story is being told in, say, German and you only fluently speak English, then you’ll naturally struggle to understand it to an extent. That’s also true with types of storytelling techniques and such; John Wardley always used to say that he could have never worked for Disney or someone foreign, as his storytelling techniques were tailored to the British audience and wouldn’t necessarily have worked abroad. Vice versa, a dark ride in a mainland European theme park is tailored to the audience of its country, who may not necessarily have the same ideas of what makes good storytelling as a British person.

In terms of you leaping to “how did they do that?” rather than being “immersed in the world” so to speak; some people are just more scientifically minded and curious, and perhaps you’re one of those people? If you are, I’d maybe recommend not trying to be “immersed in the world” and instead perhaps riding dark rides with an appreciation for the technical wonder and objective excellence behind them, if that’s what interests you. If you do that, you may even find yourself getting immersed in the worlds again!

What I would say is that I think trying to be “immersed in a world” is a bit like going to sleep, in that if you tell yourself you need to be immersed and are thinking too hard about whether you’re immersed or not, it will be a lot harder to become immersed. I know this is very easy for me to say, but I think it relies on not overthinking it too much and just sitting back and enjoying the ride for what it offers.

Those are just my thoughts, though… I apologise if that’s terrible advice!

 

[JoshC.]

-River Caves - Meh, bit rubbish innit
-Wallace and Gromit: Thrill-O-Matic - Fine, but if you don't have a connection with the IP, you won't connect with the ride
-Geister Rikscha - Old and a bit rubbish
-Vliegende Hollander - Okay you're crazy for not liking this one, sorry
-Fata Morgana - Arguably no story line told
-Symbolica - Big fairy tale vibe, not everyone's thing
-Villa Volta - Difficult to connect with if you don't understand Dutch

Of the ones you've listed, I've chucked in some general thoughts.

I think for you personally, there's a couple of things which might be hindering your enjoyment of dark rides. One is potentially high expectations: "I've wondered why I ride so many of these supposedly world-class dark rides". From that list above, most are middle of the run, fine but nothing spectacular dark rides in my opinion. Another issue will be language barriers. If you don't speak the language the ride is communicated in, you won't understand the story, and that seems to be a big thing for you?

what can I do to enjoy dark rides more? If I figure out how an effect works, is the magic just broken forever? Is there anything I can do to eliminate that "oh how did they do that?" thought in my mind and actually attempt to immerse myself into the attraction's worldbuilding? What do you do when you can't decipher a ride's story and all of the sets become "here's some models we built"?

When I can't figure out a ride's story, I just sit back, take it all in and enjoy what's in front of me. Sometimes maybe good. Sometimes maybe sh-...not so good. But in saying that, you can almost always work out vaguely what's happening. Are we trying to escape somewhere? Are we fighting a villain? Are we just passively going through scenes as a spectator? Are you going through scenes as if we're on a tour? I think most dark rides can be chucked into one of those categories, albeit loosely at times.

Or you can try and write your own story. Way I see it, theme parks are there for our entertainment: if for whatever reason the entertainment shown doesn't entertain me, can I use it as a basis for something that might? Not a perfect solution, but a solution.

-is there anything to 'save' dark rides for me? Have I gone too deep? Is me not rating so many world-class attractions just the beginning of a severe slippery slope into oblivion?

It could simply be that you aren't a 'dark ride person', like how some people aren't 'water ride people', 'flat ride people', 'drop tower people, 'scare maze people', etc. It could be that no matter what there is out there, it just doesn't click for you.

But you say you want to enjoy them. Maybe it's just what you've ridden isn't your cup of tea. Who cares what other people think. There's people out there who have *insert your least favourite here" in their Top 5, or whatever.

For what it's worth, I like Fata Morgana. But I can in no way relate to people who say it made them cry.

 

[Ollie]

I think a lot of it comes down to expectations. I've had similar in the past. Most notibly when I went to Florida for my first visit about12 years ago. I'd spent my whole enthusiast life watching videos and hearing all the hype around Disney and Universal dark rides and when I finally got to ride them I ended up feeling underwhelmed.

Fast forward to now. Went to Disney Paris and absolutely fell in love with dark rides like Pirates, and Phantom Manor. I just allowed myself to be absorbed into it and immerse myself into the setting.