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Copenhamburg, a brokie's budget bash by the Baltic - Day 3: Hansa Park & Ending the trip

Boodangy

Mega Poster
What are your two main destinations, Copenhagen and Hamburg? Call that trip Copenhamburg. Warning: lengthy prologue ahead before we get to the meat.

I haven't been to a theme/amusement park abroad in 6 years. Nor have I been abroad at all in 5. I've been craaaaving to go somewhere! But money's always been too tight, and when it hasn't, I've had to prioritize spending on other, more important things. However this past Spring I figured out that I could earn and save just that bit extra to finally make something happen! But I was unsure where I'd want to go... The cheapest option by far would've been to go to Liseberg by flying from Helsinki directly to Göteborg in the morning, spending the day at Liseberg and flying back at night. However, spending around 200€ for a trip that lasted less than a day where I didn't have any time spent in the actual country seemed like a waste.

I thought to myself if I go abroad, I gotta go for at least two parks, so I floated London (Thorpe & Chessington), Brussels/Ghent (Plopsa De Panne & Walibi Belgium), Hamburg (Hansa & Heide) and Copenhagen (Tivoli & Bakken), all as approximately 4-5 day long trips. I had gone to Hamburg as one of the abroad park trips I did in 2019 already, so that was familiar and I was missing those parks, but I was leaning very heavily towards Belgium due to the fame of Ride To Happiness, and the idea of a new country and new parks. Some options like Amsterdam/Utrecht (Efteling & Walibi H) and Madrid (Warner & PdA Madrid) were stricken from consideration due to just flight price alone.

However it would have ended up being more expensive for me to go to Belgium than London or Hamburg, so I investigated those both, and after it being confirmed I'd be going alone (which changed accommodation pricing), I ended up deciding that I'd be going to Hamburg again. But I still wasn't happy with the cost. Now, 400€ for the cost of everything in a 4 day trip minus meals isn't expensive in general but for me it is, so I spent good time investigating how to squeeze more value out of it. At first my thought was to add layover time (at no extra cost) in Riga, since the flight to Hamburg would've been on airBaltic, so I could see Riga for a day. I wasn't really satisfied with that, however, and while talking with a friend and mentioning that I wouldn't go to Amsterdam because the flights were too pricy he suggested I fly to Brussels since those flights are cheap, and go from Brussels to the Netherlands instead, since the distance is relatively short. It wouldn't have worked out that well, but it gave me an idea.

And after a bunch more investigation I discovered that for the exact same price as a 3 day trip to Hamburg for Hansa and Heide Park, I could add a new country for me (Denmark), a new park (Tivoli Gardens) and a fourth day to the already planned Hamburg itinerary, simply because the flights to Copenhagen were so much cheaper than to Hamburg (as well as direct, unlike the Hamburg flights), and getting from Copenhagen to Hamburg was a breeze. So that's what I ended up going with! In the end I did accept a slight cost increase only days before departure by adding Bakken to the trip, when I realized how long I'd have at Tivoli. Originally I wasn't going to, but I ended up making it a four park trip in the end.

So, day 1, May 5th: Tivoli Gardens & Bakken.

Unfortunately my departure happened to land right on a strike day at Helsinki-Vantaa airport. I couldn't have known while booking the flights, but I still felt bad, cause I don't want to cross the picket line so to say (even tho ik that's for employees, but) and support the action. However, I know it wasn't my responsibility as I didn't know so I just went on and hoped it wouldn't affect me too much. Luckily the strike affected Finnair and Turkish airlines the most, as the strikers were mostly from their groundcrew etc. on that day. Oh yeah, and anybody with a checked bag would get inconvenienced, but as to make the trip cheaper and easier (in terms of lugging stuff around) I only travelled with a small messenger bag.

The ridiculous two tiered tall as towers escalators from the commuter train station at the airport always crack me up (no, not metro, just a regular commuter train that goes deep underground overhead wires and all for the airport).

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Absolute breakfast of champions. Helsinki-Vantaa's airport pricing is wildly variable, this fresh hotdog was 6€, while small cold sandwiches in the stall next door were 12€.

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I flew on Norwegian for the first time in my life. As you have to pay extra to choose a seat I (as most people) got a random seat while checking into the flight, and ended up with a middle seat. Luckily though, the woman sitting next to me on the window seat was a pretty regular flier just working on her laptop, so she was happy to switch with me so I could spend the short flight looking at the views, which was mostly southwestern Finland + southern Sweden, before the plane circled above Malmö to land in Copenhagen.

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Helloooo Copenhagen (Airport)! Quirky differences to home I noticed immediately, unlike Helsinki, Copenhagen is clearly more tourist trappy. Not to an unbearable extent, but I noticed the "FREE SIM CARD!!!" stalls and such immediately, plus I got chased down the street to sign up for a hop on hop off bus. As I made my way to the metro line to get to the centre I noticed another quirk, the train departure boards show half minutes!

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The metro switch was really easy, and as I rode the escalators up from the metro at the main station I immediately saw the star flyer! What a welcome. I wasted no time as the park had just opened, and made my way to Tivoli's entrance. I didn't explore central Copenhagen much, as I like to do city holiday stuff with friends, not alone, but the little I saw was lovely. Anyway, Tivoli Gardens sure looks compact from outside! (Because it is, lol). Immediately after entry I got face to face with Rutschebanen's mountain.

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Man, the park is gorgeous.

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Frustratingly, Dæmonen didn't open until 15:30, for unexplained reasons, while everything else in the park opened with the park. I'm not sure if that had something to do with the construction site below the coaster, maybe it did.

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Instead, I started the day with Kamelen of all things! I wasn't sure originally if I was gonna do the kiddie coasters, but might as well. That's cred #1 from the trip. Will say, absolutely gorgeously landscaped kiddie coaster. Speaking of gorgeous, Mælkevejen was cred #2 and not only is it stunning to look at, this is my favourite powered coaster I've done. It actually pulls some fantastic forces! It's really fun.

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Cred #3 was the classic Rutschebanen. Now I had somehow thought that as this, Rutschebanen at Bakken and Vuoristorata at Linnanmäki were all designed by Valdemar Lebech that they'd all be the same layout, but it's only Bakken's and Linnanmäki's scenic railways that share a layout, although Vuoristorata is slightly larger. I rode in the back row and uhh... How do I say this? I haven't been actually scared on an amusement park ride since I rode a skyloop when I was 13, and I was legitimately afraid during this. The seat is flat and smooth, the restraint is loose so when you ride alone you're just sliding side to side on the bench from all the laterals. In fact I was surprised that although the coaster had it's fair share of airtime, the most drastic forces on the ride were the flat turns in the dark that the ride is full of, and I gotta say? I didn't really enjoy those. However I still think I'd place this as #1 of the three nordic scenic railways when it comes to ride experience and theming, and #2 in setting. Imagining this with Vuoristorata's single position lapbars is... I think that'd be genuinely unsafe LMFAO.

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What's this doing all the way in Denmark

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The only flat I rode during this first part of the day at Tivoli was Fatamorgana although my intention was to ride as many flats as possible, since I'm a flat enthusiast and have purposely built up my tolerance for them in the past years as I've gotten older. Unfortunately my previous excitement for the 2nd gen Condor model from HUSS was dampened (pun intended) with this, as the swing of the gondolas had a very severe damper effect, so instead of swinging naturally the gondola would jerk me to the side every swing from the damper coming in to slow the swing really harshly. Very uncomfortable ride, ngl. Anyway, it was time to leave the park for now and get lunch before getting on the train and let me say, don't come to Denmark if you have a weak heart, as you might get a medical emergency from seeing the prices of even basic fast food. I paid 28€ for a fast food burger meal with an extra burger on top.

Anyway, welcome to Copenhagen's commuter trains, with weird curved seats and doors that open with the stupidest system ever, where you have to wave your hands above your head to open them. No, not with a button, no, not by walking towards them. By the same system as those useless paper towel dispensers in public toilets. Anyway, this was one of the first examples that day of how nice Danes are. Some man saw me struggling to open the door and without missing a beat showed me with his hands how to do it, after which I saw locals do the same as if it was not silly at all on their way out of the train at stations. But anyways, by my experience in Copenhagen on this trip, about everybody even seniors knows English and are the loveliest people ever, happy to talk to and help strangers even without asking. No extra niceties like you might find in, say the UK or US, but just incredibly nice and open.

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The walk from the commuter train station to Bakken was strange. I found myself thinking "Yes, google maps shows the park is there, but it feels wrong" as the walk was through just a quaint upper class low density neighbourhood, with no sight or sound of an amusement park being there, but sure enough by the end of the road there's a big park area that includes the Bakken amusement park as well. I ended up getting a wristband despite the steep price, because with just a couple coaster rides I'd already pass it's price in tokens.

I wonder if Americans find this kind of stuff as funny as I do?

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So cred #4 with Vilde Mus, this was actually my first ever non-spinning wild mouse ride, as I hadn't done them at some parks I'd been to before that had them. Maybe the park has a height limit or something since this was built into a pit, but this was really nice and comfy. Hardly any trims, overall really fun coaster and it had magnetic brakes instead of friction brakes at the end which helped with the comfort, you'll hear about a less comfy, older wild mouse ride later.

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Something tells me the Germans wouldn't appreciate being represented like this...

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If it didn't look so faded this would be one of the coolest unique pirate ship designs I've seen

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Bakken was a park of two halves, in parts it was nice and fancy restaurants and food stalls, other parts carnivally fried food stalls, other parts permanent rides, other parts rides on trailers with loud pop music. I didn't know before coming, but it seems Bakken is a bit like Prater, in that the rides and attractions are ran by independent operators? It seems like so especially since acceptable payment methods depend per ride.

No air gates on a steel coaster and pints of beer waiting at the station? Yeah we're definitely not in rule stickler Finland anymore! Cred #5 for the trip is Mine Train Ulven, which ended up being my favourite coaster of the Copenhagen leg by the end. It's got a fantastic setting, a great first drop and just a simply fun and smooth layout of twists and turns after through the trees. Thoroughly enjoyable in any seat, simply put.

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I doubt Tornado, cred #6 needs any introduction. A very rare coaster model (one of two of it's kind) and one famous for how insane it is, and I can say, yes. It's nuts. The infamous guy who spins enthusiast's trains at dispatch was working, so as if me riding alone making it off balance wasn't enough to spin, he made sure I spun. My favourite part about the coaster is the lift launch, but that's not to say the rest wasn't great. It's just absolutely insane, and the vests are necessary to prevent your torso flailing wildly. The reason it wasn't my favourite, however is that it didn't have as much fun factor as opposed to sheer intensity as I maybe expected, and the restraints had a small hard part at the top of the harnesses that dug into my clavicles whenever I was going backwards. Still did it three times, of course.

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Cred #7 was my last of the nordic scenic railways, and the only one that's given up it's brakeman setup. It's got modern trains, and it's definitely the smoothest of the three, however it's last place setting as well as ride experience wise. Still fun, though! It's just that Vuoristorata has a better set up on top of a hill with views of the whole city (and loose restraints) while Tivoli's Rutschebanen is absolutely insane and well themed. Did a good couple rides so I got a feel of the different seats. A very old man was painting a huge mural with a tiny paintbrush in the queue, glad to see how the owners really care for the rides up close.
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All in all I'm glad I shut down the idea of doing the just Copenhagen trip pretty early on, because then I would've planned a whole day for both Tivoli and Bakken, and while that's doable at Tivoli, I was done at Bakken after just 2 hours even though I did some minor rides like the double shot, the pedal swans or Mariehønen, cred #8 in addition to the big coasters. It's really not a pleasant place to spend time off ride with all the burnt grease smells, the rides plopped on concrete and the loud pop music blasting out of every game stall and half the flats. I'd still recommend going, absolutely, just don't expect to want to spend a whole lot of time.

What you should do while nearby is visit the beach by the Klampenborg train station you use to get to Bakken. My god, how lovely. I find my peace the most when I'm by water, so this was a lovely refresher after being in the city and parks all day so far, just sitting by the water and breathing in the sea air in the sun for a good while. I gotta come back in the summer some time, because the baltic sea is so clean here! What?! In Helsinki it's FILTHY and I would never swim in it, while here in Copenhagen it's crystal blue with lovely sandy bottom. Damn.

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After relaxing at the beach I made my way back to the centre to rejoin the sights and sounds of Tivoli Gardens as the day started turning to night, slowly but surely. I still had pleeenty of time at Tivoli, as they only closed at 22:00, so before I went back in I popped by a grocery store to get some large drinks so that I wouldn't have to find a still open grocery store before my bus later on, and of course so I had something to drink at the park. Mild culture shock time, in Finland you can't get any alcohol above 8% or so ABV in normal grocery stores while in Sweden they're even stricter with 3,5%. Despite being almost attached to Sweden, Denmark is so lax on alcohol that the last second purchase shelf usually reserved for candy bars and condoms in Denmark is reserved for bottles of Absolut, Malibu, Jägermeister and the like. It was rather funny.

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Dæmonen was now open, that's the last cred for the Danish leg of the trip. Needless to say, I was shocked at how much I hated cred #9 for the trip. I already don't like the classic B&M seats, as the seats are way too close to eachother leaving no shoulder room and the OTSRs are the worst I've experienced. Combine that with one of the roughest coasters I've ever experienced, probably the worst after Big Loop at Heide Park and you've got hell on earth. Tear this thing down and build something else, please. I really enjoyed the pre drop segment for a bit but then I realized how rough it was and went "oh no". It's short, too. You can do better, Tivoli.


Anyway, onto good rides! I spent the evening doing rerides as well as going on more of those unique flats. Some are unique due to how well presented they are, others are rare because of being a park version or because they really are rare. Monsunen is one of only two Zierer Suspended Flying Carpets and not only does it look gorgeous like everything else in the park, it's got that fantastic water feature. Aquila is a Zamperla Air Race, my first one, fun and fantastic looking with the queue in the hub of the ride (unique angle to see the ride from!) but I expected the gondola to switch directions, it spun in the same direction the whole ride so it was a bit one note.


Tik Tak is a park version of the Mondial Shake and an incredibly well presented one at that. This was my aaabsolute favourite ride from the Danish leg! Like I said, I'm as much a flat ride person as I am a coaster person and this was ridiculous fun. Although the function of the ride is different with different axes of rotation, the out of control feeling felt very nostalgic and similiar to Kieppi, the now gone HUSS Booster that was at my home park until 2016. Didn't even get slightly dizzy or nauseous, unlike I do on the classic woodies, for example. Absolutely fantastic.


It goes without saying that the park was even nicer at night than during the day. There's a ton of lighting in the park that you don't even notice the bulbs during the day, and at night it just comes alive. I did also remember to do the fairytale chest ride! How charming. The ride system was insane, though, and how many times you could see the ride track crossing over itself in the dark in all the levels was wild. What a feat of engineering. Unfortunately, I couldn't go on the funhouse as for whatever reason, that closed at 18:00 already. I don't really appreciate that.

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I did still have a snack at the park with a french dog and fries at the park before leaving. The cook/cashier was very interested in my trip in fact, to how I liked Copenhagen etc and we had a fantastic chat as I ate. I will say, they definitely oversalt their fries in Copenhagen, I experienced it at lunch as well. I appreciate the deposit system in the park, it's just a bit inconvenient if you're a tourist as you then get dealt local coins in return. Heide Park later on also had a cup deposit, but you could get the cash back on card.

There was also a night time light show, but no photos or video came out good as it was mostly lasers. It was quite pretty though, and it was a nice bow to tie the night to an end with.

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And that's that for day 1! Not only did the weather turn out better than expected for all days, but everything in general just went fantastic. Obviously the most action packed, but also good to focus the most walking intensive (as I have garbage joints) and hectic days for the beginning, when I'm best rested. After leaving Tivoli all I did was walk to the bus station, brush my teeth in the bathroom and hop onto the overnight bus from which my adventure continued to Germany. I ended up spending way more time than I expected writing this, so hope at least someone read to the end.

See you later for part 2!
 
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Great report! I am surprised that you found Daemonen so rough. I rode is 3 times front row in April 2023 and found it to be really fun and re-rideable.

I do however agree that Maelkyvaen (probably wrong spelling) was really good.
 
Getting off my ass (or rather onto my ass and into my chair) to write day 2, May 6th: Arrival to Hamburg and Heide Park.

My bus arrived pretty early after 6 am in Hamburg. Now, this was a familiar place for me, so that first time visit magic is gone by now, and thusly don't expect me to be as positive of Germany as I was of Denmark. Don't get me wrong, I fully enjoyed my time here! It's just that 2nd time around you pay way more attention to negative stuff and it's way easier to write out complaints than it is positive experiences, but I'll try my best to highlight the positives, especially in the parks, although that's much easier with Heide Park than Hansa Park (spoilers!).

I actually ended up getting the Deutschland ticket for the Germany leg, as it was already cheaper for one month of that than just the tickets to the two parks I'd do, plus I'd get free transit in Hamburg PLUS I wouldn't have to buy those train tickets individually, I could just hop onto any train and my schedule would be more flexible.

Anyway, it seems Germany has the same problem as my native Finland, where despite the early morning being exactly when people are out and about and want coffee, all the local cafes open at 10 am or something else ridiculous. There was nowhere local to get food, which was a great excuse to visit the American embassy in the main train station.

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I do enjoy visiting international chains around the world, simply because it's cool to see what's different and try different menu items. Sorta had to this time, given the whole everything being closed still at like 7 am even. Well, anyhoo, I got mini pancakes with pistachio dip and two mcmuffins, which were both good. The pancakes were alright, but the dip was weird. There's some pistachio craze everywhere in Europe right now it seems, probably started by the manufactured virality of the Dubai chocolate. I did however immediately get a taste of German craziness by discovering they sell HALVED ORANGES WRAPPED IN PLASTIC. Actually, almost any fruit at Edeka they also sold halved and wrapped in plastic. In Finland they p much only do that with melons, as melons are typically so big that many people wouldn't eat a whole melon. But an orange?! It doesn't even make it easier to eat, since now the segments aren't whole anymore.

I still had some dry snacks that I brought from home in my bag, so I mostly went to Edeka (grocery store) to get drinks, as I won't spend money on drinks at the parks unless it's part of a meal. I discovered here that Germany also enjoys tarhun, I forgot that tarhun's (a Georgian soda) main ingredient is the same as "waldmeister", which made me extremely happy cause due to the trade cut off with Russia, I can't get tarhun anywhere in Finland anymore. Anyway after getting drinks I thought of what to do and I ended up just going to chill in a park with the geese, the goslings and the swans.

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It was actually a bit cloudy and windy at this time, but not long after it cleared up and just like in Copenhagen, the weather ended up being lovely, warm and sunny for the rest of the day and trip. On my way back from the park to the train station to leave for Heide I saw some unexpected American sights, like a T-Mobile store and a Lucid Air. God, that's a gorgeous car.

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Aanyway I did hop onto the train and I cracked open one of my drinks on the first train. It was something called Volvic Touch. Now.... See, I was expecting something I'm familiar with from home and other countries, just some water or carbonated water with flavouring. Nope. It had sugar. But not enough sugar to be like a juice/soda, it was 3% sugar. That made it taste like water with some sugar in there, which is a frankly disgusting flavour. But it was hydration, so... Anyway another quirk of Germany, I guess.

The train journey to Heide Park wasn't really conducive for taking pics unfortunately, the first leg from Hamburg to Buchholz Nordheide the windows were dirty on the outside and then I had a rushed change to the 2nd train, except the train despite being on the platform on time didn't leave until 10 minutes after the scheduled departure, ah, Germany. ANYWAY, the 2nd train from there to Wolterdingen was... an experience. Basically the entire commuter train had only one operational set of doors, so everyone came and went from one door, and on top of that I could hardly fit in because so many middle school classes packed into the train for school trips to Heide Park, I stood right up against the door in the doorway for the 45 minute or so train ride, while trying to make way for locals trying to get in and out at the stations in between.

Because almost everyone got out of the train at Wolterdingen to go to Heide as well and the groups walked way slower than me I opted to stroll slower on purpose and admire the vegetation on the walk, which was a 20 minute straight line, so that I wouldn't have to try to pass like 150 school kids. The vegetation in Germany has some familiar evergreens, but way more leafy trees and some unique things we don't have, like wild holly. Oh yeah, and the ground is completely covered in ground/wall crawling plants.

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Done with the walk I arrived at Heide Park with the bear statues, my bladder absolutely BURSTING at this point cause the train bathroom was inaccessible due to the train being so full. Scanned myself in, went to the bathroom, and my nose started IMMEDIATELY bleeding like a faucet, for some reason. Lovely! Anyway, culture shock time! There was a damn vending machine for cigarettes. Vending machine. For cigarettes. With no way of checking ID. That is soooo WILD to me as a Finn when we check ID any time someone looks under 35 or even their companions if it seems like they might share cigarettes with them (also why you'd have that in a theme park idk, but Heide Park was like 50% smoking areas so).

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Who you gonna call

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Because of the nose bleed I didn't immediately ride anything since the nosebleed might get jumpstarted again by any strong forces. So I mostly just wandered around seeing the park.

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First ride of Heide Park for me ended up being Desert Race, so cred #10 for the trip! This was down last time I was at Heide Park, so this was my first time on it. I think my expectations were a bit low because a lot of brits rag on Rita and I thought this was a clone of that, although now that I checked RCDB it seems not exactly. Very similiar style of accelerator, though. Anyway, I thought it was fantastic! Great launch of course given it's a classic Intamin hydraulic launch, and I enjoyed the rest of the elements too. Does it hold a candle to modern Intamins like Taiga as an overall experience? No, but who cares. Loved it and the sandy environment fit the theme.


I decided to do Grottenblitz now, overall this trip I did some family/kiddie coasters in Germany that I didn't do last time, this being one of them so it's cred #11. Really well themed powered coaster with some nice forces at times too. This and Mælkevejen at Tivoli are just so much better than our Mack powered coasters in Finland. I will say while I'm at it, I wanted to do the big monorail (seen going through Grottenblitz's structure here) since that was running this time unlike last time, but unfortunately it only ran one train and I missed it when I went up to it just barely, and I'm not gonna wait around for it to come back who knows when, since the loop is so big. Shame.

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How to train your dragon: the incel

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Big Loop doesn't count as a cred for the trip, I'd done that before and for some reason I decided to do it again. It looks great with the corkscrews over the water and the well landscaped station area but it's probably the worst coaster I've ever done, yes, even worse than Tulireki or a Volare. It'd be cool if they gave it the Magic Mountain / Python treatment, though, cause I do enjoy the classic layout as an idea. Not here in practice.

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For some reason I didn't take any good pics of Colossos. Actually not many good pics in this park at all, I think cause I really enjoyed my time on the rides at Heide for the most part and it's hard to get good angles here, or some other excuse. I'd of course done Colossos before, it's still insane and insanely good, rougher than last time of course, but last time I rode it it had just freshly reopened like a couple weeks before I went after a major retracking, so obviously it was better then. By no means rough rough, just rougher. After the trip it's probably moved up to my #2 coaster since Kärnan fell down the rankings (but we'll get to that later), it's a fantastic and huge woodie.

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I revisited other coasters I'd done before like Krake and Bobbahn. Krake was short and sweet as usual, still awful train design, seriously, the seats are way too close together there's no shoulder room and I don't like those og B&M over the shoulders anyway. But you don't really notice during the ride, mostly while loading and on the brake run. Bobbahn I enjoyed significantly more than last time! Actually found it to be quite intense and enjoyable. The train design for this is really strange as well, the floor moving underneath you since the individual cars are segmented, not just the train. Still preferred the now extinct Intamin bobsled since it had a smooth track, but now that my fat has muscle underneath I felt my titties jiggling less, which made it more enjoyable than in 2019. I didn't revisit Scream, though. Found it to be a really lame drop tower last time.

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Another revisit was Flug der Dämonen. 2nd B&M with Dämonen/Dæmonen in the name this trip, and this one vastly superior, lol. I haven't done any other wing coasters but I love this one. This was completely empty all day so you could skip the long ass queue walk and just go in from the fastpass entrance/exit, so it was really easy to reride and reride I did. The setting for this coaster is just awesome with all the buildings around it and being built on a hillside, and a lot of the elements are REALLY unique imo. I definitely rode this more than anything else in the park that day.


Cred #12 for the trip was... MY FIRST SLC! :O aka Toxic Garden. Last time I came to Heide I skipped this because of the SLC reputation, but since I'd ridden Big Loop already and nothing could be worse than that I gave this a go (and also I was rly curious) but uhh. This was good? I've heard before that the classic SLC layout is actually good when it's smooth, and I thought this was lovely. The new theme was fun, the soundtrack was awesome and the mutated plants around the ride were cute although you don't notice them while riding. I giggled at the "DMO, demonically modified organism" signs since that's how people who avoid GMO probably think of it anyway.

The restraints were... Weird. Bulky, and they have a concave area designed for your shoulders to slot into, but that's not really a good idea cause not everyone is the same dimensions, so me and my not even that freakishly wide shoulders felt squished in. But besides that, I enjoyed it so much that I rode thrice. The first drop and the inversions, it's all fun, and it was slightly jiggly but by no means rough or headbangy. Now granted, I did ride it in the front each time, but there's plenty of coasters I've experienced that are rough as hell in the front as well, so. It did tickle me pink how they'd repainted the supports for the retheme but not the track!

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Last new cred, cred #13 for Heide was Indy-Blitz, the ride themed to an entire racial group. Not much to say, it's just a kiddie coaster. I don't know what continental Europe's obsession is with wild west and Native American themed areas or even whole parks, those didn't really catch on in the Nordics (Yes, the Fennoscandia part of the Nordics is technically continental but the Baltic sea and Russia block the cultural continuum).

Just as in Denmark, I continued my mission of riding more flats, so I visited Maya Tal to do Magic and Breakdance, which I had skipped last time I came as I was afraid of getting sick (what I mentioned in part 1). The ride programs they ran were actually pretty good, obviously not fairground insanity but they don't need to be. I thoroughly enjoyed both, and it's sad I don't have either type closer to home. There are two breakdances (at least) in Sweden but I don't go often. Maya Tal is kinda tragic as an area, from ground level you can't see how many flats there used to be, but from Colossos for example you can see the empty plots for the Flipper, the Top Spin, the Enterprise, the Rainbow and the Round Up that's still there despite not running for who knows how long, it's just hidden behind walls.


Heide in general I feel is overhated. I really don't get what's so bad about it that a lot of people actively dislike it and once upon a time I was even told to just go to Hansa, not to Heide, even though honestly I'm after this trip much more likely to return here (although I'd probably do Hansa too just cause I'm in the area). The park for the most part also looks nice, albeit I didn't take many pics of just the surroundings, probably because it wasn't new to me this time round.

There was this sign in one of the gift shops that I found funny because if you scratch out the subtitle it could be a fantastic reaction image. "THIS IS THE CAP." I also had a meal at Heide, I don't remember exactly what it was called but it was a huuge crispy chicken burger with fresh cucumber instead of pickles, lots of sweet teriyaki sauce and sesame seeds. Combined with tasty sweet potato fries it was my favourite park meal of the trip. I was SHOCKED that in Germany of all countries I was able to get the plastic cup deposit back onto my card, not just in cash?!

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Another thing that Germany was shockingly ahead for being as old fashioned as they are was having an actual train on their crossing signs, unlike the steam locomotive pictograph we still have at least in Finland and probably many another European country. Anyway...

As a whole Heide Park was a much nicer visit now than last time. My body can take more riding than back then as I'm more used to it, the weather was better (last time I came it was raining A LOT and there was a 1,5h bus delay leaving the park) etc etc. It was also not too empty that there'd be no theme park atmosphere (as has been a popular topic in general discussions lately) but almost everything was completely without a queue, at most a cycle's worth. Only exception was Bobbahn, as it was having troubles all day and thus gathered a queue. Speaking of which, I massively appreciate the announcements at Heide, if there's any issue on the coaster they announce to the queue in German and English that there's an issue and you'll have to wait extra, or if there's lots of rain they announce that the ride stays open but might be painful.

When the park was closing I initially went to the service center to ask for a local taxi service number, as I couldn't find it online and I didn't wanna walk back to Wolterdingen. However I realized I couldn't make the next train even with the taxi probably, so I instead waited outside the park on a bench, kicked my shoes off to air out the steppies (something you really value on a trip like this) and drank an energy drink while sunbathing, re-energizing myself for the walk back to the station. Walk back wasn't anything special nor was the train. Just nice scenery in the sun is all.

I don't have any pictures or footage of when I got back to Hamburg, I just hopped on the subway to my hostel, A&O Hamburg City. Unfortunately the first clerk I talked to at check in made me feel stupid for not knowing how to check in. Bro, I haven't been to a hotel or hostel before, I'd like customer service, please? But he p much whined about how much work it is for him to do my check in instead of me doing it myself digitally. Anyway another employee got on the ball and pushed him aside to check me in. Thank you, whoever you were. My roommates were all lovely and considerate as you'd hope from a hostel, and the facilities were all in good shape and clean. Great stay besides the initial check-in experience. Obviously I didn't take pictures of my room, given there were 5 other people there. Next day Hansa would be waiting for me!

Another long read, so hope someone made it to the end. See you later for part 3!
 
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Great trip report! I should do Hedie Park at some point, missed the opportunity when I went to Hansa in 2018.

The cigarette vending machines threw me the first time I saw them, takes a lot of trust which just isn't a thing in most countries.

To be honest I think the hate for SLC's is a little overblown, but enthusiasts need a villain.
 
I sure have neglected this thread, so day 3, May 7th: Hansa Park. WARNING: obviously spoilers for Kärnan and Novgorod.

Woke up for the first time in my hostel, oh god the air was dry in there. Germans swear by doing lüften (or however you spell it) but I'm not used to indoor air this dry, my throat was sore. No matter, I had a pleasant chat with one of my roommates as she was checking out and I was leaving for the park. I was well ahead of schedule to catch my next train to Lübeck, where I had a bit of waiting around before catching another to Sierksdorf, where Hansa lies. I got myself two spicy sausages encased in pretzel bread which were tasty, had a small issue because I didn't have that much cash on hand and the bakery only took cash for some reason. Snacked on those and visited the Edeka to get some drinks for the next train and the park, we had another warm day ahead.

The train luckily was almost completely empty which was a nice change of pace to the day before where there was no space to even move. Uneventful train trip later and I arrive in Sierksdorf with a short but gorgeous walk to the park, last time I came a teenager interrogated me about why I'm alone going to parks abroad so I didn't notice how nice the views were back then.

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For some reason we queued outside the park for maybe 15 minutes past the scheduled opening time. Maybe a ticket scanner was broken or something? But surely they'd have backups, so I don't know what that was about. They weren't letting anyone in from the gates. But the queue was short so once they did open the gates I got in quite fast. The park writing out the date in flowers at the gate every day is so cool, as is the entrance plaza with all the classically styled buildings and the view of Nessie.

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Hmm, what should I do first? Big mystery... not. Kärnan was my #2 coaster coming into this trip, so of course I headed that way first as I don't need warming up, or I often like warming up for the day with the most intense ride first. So I head over to Kärnan, the visage of that ride with the giant non-inverting element and the tower can't be beat. The queue line for the ride also is just excellent. The theming, the documentary style videos at the start, the video log style videos further in and the loose articles pre-show are all just fantastic as is the loading procedure. However... Already here, it could be a bit quieter. I feel the need to plug my ears up already in this scene with the theme music. Anyway, get on ride.

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And uhh. Hmm. See, the ride is still good. But already from the jump I feel myself being way more a negative nancy than I used to be on this ride. First, even the pre-lift is fun and the lift hill segment is awesome. Actually, last time I came I believe the projector wasn't working, so now I got the full experience with the audio as well as the ghost face in the ceiling. Thing is, it's way. too. loud. I had to plug my ears with my fingers and that was hardly enough. It's a giant empty tower, of course it echoes a ton, but then the music and sound effects are just absurdly loud, to the point you can easily hear them outside the ride and make out the words the ghost is saying. Why you wouldn't put the speakers closer to where the train stops and quieter, I don't know. They were actually just absurdly loud, but okay, we crest the hill let's go aaand...

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It's gotten rougher in 6 years. Like. Way rougher. And rather than enjoying the ride as much as I used to, I spent a lot of effort trying to keep my head and body upright and in place while the ride jostles the McHeck out of me, and the tension from that made my body ache. The ride is ridiculously intense which I'd like, but when it's as rough as this it's not a good combination. It was hard for me to focus on the layout it was just violence and high Gs. Brake run. I was really happy to get back on it and thus was glowing but pretty quickly got kinda sad that I could just not enjoy it as much as I used to. Anyway, we still had the heartline roll and the ridiculous flat turn to the final brakes to go, which were smooth and enjoyable to end the ride. Needless to say, this ride fell down in the ranks significantly, which made me sad.

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Time to get some new creds as I'd skipped most coasters last time. Now, I was kinda bad at taking pics of the rides themselves at Hansa for whatever reason, so You'll have to be satisfied with this one picture of the train going by really quickly. Cred #14 for the trip was Crazy Mine, which was my 2nd ever traditional wild mouse. Uhh. The one at Bakken was significantly better, but that's no surprise, that one is way newer and this is the old version, so extremely harsh brakes and a train design with a really awkward restraint design and seating position. It was fine. But it was a one and done for sure.

Cred #15 immediately after was Schlange von Midgard. If I recall correctly I had intended to do this last time, but I simply forgot it existed on the day and didn't notice the paths to go to that side of the park with all the kiddie rides as well as the coaster. I had thought from pictures I'd seen that it was a proper family coaster but not really? It's very very short, it's just a lift, a drop, a helix and an extra hill before turning into the station, and it does a couple laps. It was very very well themed, though. More than I was expecting, so bonus points for that.

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After running those creds I wandered around doing some more minor attractions and flats, including my first Gerstlauer sky fly, which was really fun! I ended up doing it three more times later in the day, and instead of doing the enthusiast thing of trying to get constant flips, I tried getting maximum hangtime, and strategically keeping the gondola upside down as it swooped down. Lots of the time off ride people were pointing in shock at me hanging upside down the whole time which was funny! But yeah, awesome ride in that you can really make it your own, it does however require knowledge of the mechanics to get the most out of it. I proceeded to check out the views around the park.


This park has a gorgeous setting.

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That comma is doing a lot of heavy lifting here

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It was time for the other headline coaster of the park, Fluch(t) von Novgorod. The name change and the reasons behind it are pretty funny to me still, but anyway. With this one it was rough as hell already back when I last came, so I knew what to expect and to brace especially with the OTSRs. I however didn't remember a lot of the inside animatronics and scenes. I'd forgotten half of them existing at all! Which meant this was a way fresher experience compared to Kärnan.

For example I'd completely forgotten about the singing ghost that starts the ride or the fact that the first time you see the projector face man being at that campfire thing. (Btw, the projector face man was also broken a bit last time I came, the projection was misaligned last time I came). More importantly I'd forgotten about the scare at the top of the indoor tophat (it's hard to tell what that element actually is indoors at that speed, but I think it's a tophat) and another that I swear must not have been working last time was the scarecrow jumpscare at the very end. That ending too, where it seems like you're on the final brake run but instead of slowing down all the way there's still a powerful hill at the end of it and you're face to face with a genuine jumpscare, others on the ride screamed loud at that and I got spooked too. What an awesome way to end a ride. This is probably the closest you'll get to a true ghost train / coaster fusion.

However... Yeah. It's an old Gerstlauer with OTSRs. It was very painful, even if I kept my head forward to avoid headbanging I still got neck ache from my upper body being jostled around and trying to keep my head in one place. Parts of the coaster, especially indoors are smooth and enjoyable, while others are completely irredeemable like the outside knot element or the turn after the launch. That launch is insane, though. I'm having trouble now saying which one I like more, this or Kärnan, as Kärnan used to be smooth (enough for me) which sealed the deal whereas a lot of the effects and coaster elements on Novgorod are really cool too. But yeah, I'm really conflicted about these coasters. They're as flawed as they are awesome.


Final new cred of the trip, cred #16 was Royal Scotsman. This is a more proper length classic junior/family coaster from Vekoma, and surprised me with some fun little forces! It's also fun to glide around that section of the park around other rides like Nessie and Highlander, with the lift hill even going through Nessie's loop. All in all no complaints with this one! And I didn't feel like too much of a credit whore doing it. Which is what I would've felt if I did do Kleine Zar, which was the only coaster I fully skipped on this trip. There were little kids going on it and it's just a Preston & Barbieri kiddie coaster that I assumed at the time was a Zamperla Gravity.

Anyhoo, after Royal Scotsman I did end up going on Nessie, even though after last time I thought I wouldn't, but I gave it another chance. Maybe shouldn't have. The entrance and exit from the loop have absolutely atrocious jolts/potholes and the rest of the coaster is just not worth that. It's very much a one trick pony and the one trick it has doesn't work.


Had a funny experience where while I was sitting and chilling two giant seagulls decided to get it on right next to me. Like, less than a metre away. Another male came in and interrupted their business, the female left and the two seagulls decided to start screaming at eachother in an ungodly noise that I've never heard a seagull make. Again, less than a metre away from me, like I wasn't there. But yeah, I also ate at the park, Germany coming through again with reasonable park food prices, had to get the currywurst and it was a long boy. And of course, a spezi. Also saw this cool bug that looked like an African tribal mask of some variety (don't have the education to say which region/tribe in Africa, but a very stereotypical one).

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I did ask the employees at the food spot if they could refill a water bottle for me, but they said no and that I could just drink out of the bathroom sink taps if I wanted water. Which I ended up doing (although I asked another kiosk for an empty cup to use for that as that was easier) but in my native Finland there's either free water spots to refill yourself or the staff will do it for you at kiosks and food stalls. Related to both birds and the place I got the cup from, there were a lot of barn swallows at the park! Starlings and others as well, in general this whole trip was nice for looking at birds for me as a critter lover. One of the barn swallows had actually made a nest in the inside portion of the roof covering at the exit of Kärnan's gift shop, and as I was looking at them going in and out of the nest the employee in Kärnan's gift shop came to ask me about what I was looking at and we had a lovely conversation about birds and nature where we both come from, as she wasn't originally from Germany. I remember her fondly, she was absolutely lovely.


I did take some time throughout the day also to just chilling and I went inside to the restaurant at the entrance plaza to have a coffee and charge my phone. That place was completely dead, well the park was hardly busy at all and the weather was nice so why go inside to eat at the entrance? The only other group/family there left half their fries uneaten when they returned their tray and as I was leaving from sitting down with my coffee I scarfed down the rest of their fries. Why not? Not like they'd touched each and every one. Those were tasty. Later on in the day I did do rerides as well as more small attractions, as well as film this video of Wellenreiter. I noticed the gondolas don't swing much on this one, but it seems most don't nowadays besides Troika at Särkänniemi.


But related to both the lady at Kärnan's gift shop as well as the cafe as well as everywhere else, Hansa Park as a whole just has lovely staff for the most part and they all know flawless English, which is very different from Heide or Germany in general. Plus a lot of them are older than the usual 20-30 range which is nice, though I hope it's because Hansa is a stable employer and not because they don't have a choice other than seasonal park work. Hansa also just has an absolutely gorgeous setting and beautiful scenery and theming, but...

I don't know. I will probably be back, but mostly because it's close by to Heide Park where I'll happily return to. If Heide wasn't close, I probably wouldn't come back here again without some massive addition (Cornwall Coaster won't be enough), because they don't have super impressive flats and although the theming is amazing, the coasters themselves there was only one out of six that I had no complaints about, that being Royal Scotsman. Every other coaster is severely flawed or not big enough, and with so many being outright painful I did have quite a tension headache by the end of the day. Actually, not even the end of the park day, because I didn't really feel like doing anything there anymore despite spending so much time chilling throughout the day that I felt completely done an hour early and left.

Hansa is on the coast so I figured there must be a beach nearby, I busted open google maps and discovered a beach nearby I could walk down until I was pretty close to the train station and I could still catch an earlier train than originally planned. I spent the last hour of my park day casually strolling there instead. This is where I found out that not only does Germany not have a right to roam nor free public toilets, some public beaches also cost money just to enter. I tried reading up on a justification and found Germans defending it online with "You need money to clean up the toilet/beach!" which my question to that is what do you pay taxes for then, car industry subsidies? I don't know. I'll let you guess whether I walked past the sign saying you had to pay to enter the beach or stopped to download the app.

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The beach was a lovely time to unwind after the park and relax before my train trip back to Hamburg.

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I did explain in the first post about how I find such peace in just sitting by water and listening to the sounds, so this was a fantastic thing to do before walking back to the train station from the other end of the beach.


After getting back to Hamburg I visited a large Kaufland to get my major haul of snacks for the next two days as well as drinks, found some old favourites, some new stuff, and just explored what a big grocery store had over here, then walked a short distance from there to my hostel where surprisingly everyone was already asleep by 21:00 in my room. Or at least one person was asleep and others respected that by also resting quietly in the dark. So I tried to be as subtle as possible setting everything down and getting ready for bed, and thusly decided to take a shower in the morning instead of the evening even if I felt a bit nasty.

day 4, May 8th: Chilling in Hamburg before leaving.

I had no rush leaving my hostel luckily. I took my time showering and then packing all my stuff that I'd spread out and having a small snack I'd bought for breakfast, as well as an energy drink because of course. I didn't need one, but it'll give you a boost for the day and I wanna try as many flavours as possible when abroad. This was a waldmeister rockstar, god I wish we liked herbal/floral flavours in Finland. One of my roommates came back from the grocery store and tried talking to me, I had to say in German that I don't speak much German at all and he said okay and showed thumbs up, but then proceeded to ask me questions in German anyway, which was a bit awkward but kinda funny.

I didn't really have any idea what I was doing to be honest, but while looking over maps I did find a large green area so I decided to take the metro over to Stadtpark Hamburg, expecting to walk through in one direction or something before doing something else but nope, actually ended up admiring all the different trees, flowers and critters in the park for hours, in fact I spent so long there that I didn't have to come up with anything else to do besides eat dinner before leaving Hamburg for Copenhagen in the evening. I loved it! There was also a cafe on my way back to the centre where I had the best flat white of my life, which was of course nice.

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I will spare you most of the pictures and video, as this isn't really the main topic nor the forum for that. I must've taken at least a hundred photos and videos total of trees, flowers, spiders, beetles, bees, rooks, starlings, geese, etc etc etc. while chilling there. Anyway after going back to the centre and eating dinner as I said, all I had to do was go wait for my bus. Now, I do like Hamburg and I do like Germany, but one thing about Germany in general that condenses in central Hamburg very well is that there is a lot more poverty and overall city style human suffering in there than where I come from. Which I'd probably be numb to if I grew up in idk London or NYC, but I'm not used to seeing people everywhere begging for cash, digging through trash cans for returnable bottles or just doing meth in the daylight while waiting for the bus. Never did I feel like I'm in danger or anything, obviously, but it's just kinda depressing when you don't see it every day at home and you can't help.

On the positive, after getting on the bus I had a trip with pretty views ahead, even including Hansa Park! I didn't realize before, but it makes sense that on the way north to Denmark the bus would drive pretty close, and I did get some pictures of Kärnan from afar. Weren't very good pictures so not worth posting, though. The trip to Copenhagen also included a ferry after which they checked our passports, which was a much more pleasant experience this time around with bubbly, polite border officers from Denmark checking the whole bus in just a couple minutes (as they had three officers cover the whole bus from each end) which was a nice change to coming into Germany and having a nonverbal German officer stare you down with the eyes of a serial killer to check your passport.

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All in all I'll wrap it up here. If it wasn't already clear, this type of trip is a rare treat for me and I'm happy that essentially nothing went wrong on the trip! After arriving in Copenhagen I still had some clandestine night activities to do as well as explore the centre a bit in the middle of the night while walking place to place, which was really pleasant as the air was calm, the streets shockingly quiet for a capital and the temperature warm. But as night turned into Friday morning, it was time to go back to the airport and make my way back home.

If you made it all the way to the bottom of the post, thank you so so much for reading! This was also a super long one, and thank you to anyone who read the whole thread. I decided to roll the non-park stuff into the Hansa post as making posts for non-park stuff didn't feel right and there wasn't that much to say.
 
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