Another Merlin Pass/Blackpool whoreage report with pics!

[Ian]

A few weeks ago I was invited to Blackpool Pleasure Beach to film The Big One in 3D. the footage wasn't as good as I hoped, hence the reluctance to put it on CF's YT atm. I'm trying to tweak it but it's taking AGES.

Anyway, my appointment with them was on the Friday, so I travelled up on the Thursday and spend the afternoon in Blackpool whoring my Anal Pass.

I was lucky enough to stay onsite at the BPB Hotel, The Big Blue Hotel. This is the view from the bedroom window/door <3

The room was fab, really luxurious. Apparently Amanda Thompson had a finger in the design pie. The bed was incredibly comfortable and the rumble of coasters made me feel right at home.

Anyway, off I trotted up the promenade to the Tower, it's about half an hours walk.

Soon enough I was at Blackpool Tower.

Maybe because it was mid-week, but there were no signs telling people where to go. The front desk was unmanned so I used logic...the only was is up. It was my first time at the Tower. I really liked the interior.

I found the ballroom. It's really gaudy, which sums up Blackpool perfectly.

Soon enough I was walking through a sterile looking corridor where a chap thrust a pair of 3D glasses in my hands I was in a sweat smelling room full of northerners, Irish and Scots.

Then we were ushered through to the 4D cinema. You have to stand there to watch. there's a little railing to perch on, but being a short-arse, it wasn't the most comfortable of things. However, the 4D show was brilliant, the water, feathers, smoke...it was really well done <3

The group were crammed into a lift where an excitable attendant told the same joke he probably tells lift full; "They're repainting the Tower. It'll take three years. I had a bloke in the lift yesterday who said he was an engineer and has seen a tower in a similar condition. the next day it fell down. Thankfully it's my day off tomorrow!" I rolled my eyes and took a photo.

The glass floor is the first thing you see.

I noticed that if you're female and over 40, then you'll pretend to be scared about walking on it and then scan the room for admiration as you bravely step on it. It's a **** glassfloor, love, get over it.

Something to put your money in. Don't know what it does.

Then I plucked up enough courage similar to a 40+ year old female and walked the small spiral steps to the top.

Netting spites the view/stops things from being dropped/thrown.

Here are a few shots through the netting.

I was up there for about 15mins. I didn't feel rushed or under pressure to leave. Maybe because it was quiet. I then got in the lift and headed down pretending to be scared like a 40+ year old female.

I liked the Tower. It's certainly not worth the full price, but it's well worth it if you have an Annual Pass. I'd happily visit it again simply for the 4D film and the view on a nice day.

After the Tower, I went to the nearby Weatherspoons for a piss and a pint. After feeling refreshed, I went in Madame Tussauds Waxworks.

Outdated X Factor scene on the way in, with Cowell and Walsh sitting at desk. Cole is spitefully stood to one side.

Scrunchy-faced squawk-box Davina **** McCall.

Sir Brucie.

Adolf Hitler (sans moustache) standing in for Jonathan Woss.

Gok Wan has a styling room there where you can dress up and pretend to be Alesha Dixon (tiny head, massive body).

A 'youthful' looking David Attenborough.

Ant & Dec in a jungle scene. Ant's forehead isn't as big as it looks on telly.

Shrek.

Beckham toning up those abs.

The gay one from Formula One Racing. The wax work had more personality.

Also in the sports section was Ricky Hatton, Tiger Woods and Phil "the Power" Taylor <3

Next section was the brilliant Coronation Street scene!

Quite outdated and sparse but great all the same. Hilda Ogden is on the right and Bet Gilroy is behind the bar. You can go behind the bar and pull a pint next to Bet. And look up her skirt, if that's your thing. She isn't wearing knickers...

A paedophillic-looking Ken Barlow is propping up the bar.

Deirdre Barlow.

Out of the Rovers Return straight on to Broadway, or some other musical place!

Is it a man or a woman? No, it's Shirley Bassy.

Plastic, deranged miming bint, Britney Spears.

Acquitted kiddie fiddler, baby-dangler and prescription drug-reliant artist popular in the '80's, Michael Jackson.

Madonna, sorry, I mean Lady Gaga.

Owner of the 1985 Live Aid stage and rampant homosexual, Freddie Mercury.

Overrated but you can't deny their influence, The Beatles.

The next section has a video on how the models are made. Unfortunately it's hosted by bucked-tooth, unfunnyman Alan Carr. I didn't watch the video for long.

If you're head is on this rack, you're no longer famous I'm afraid.

The next area is dedicated to celebs from a bygone era.

Tommy. Cooper. Cooper. Tommy. Tommy Cooper <3

Eastleigh Milkman and silly-run-aaround-in-circles comedian Benny Hill.

Le Ronnies Deux.

The attractions then goes through to a a mirror maze where a member of staff made me sit on an oversizzed deckchair, wear a pink hat and silly glasses, hold a large stick of rock and wave a British flag. I never got the photo :wink:

And that's that! Ok, so it plays second fiddle to the one in London but what do you expect? It's Blackpool! It's wonderfully tacky! It's also really interactive. You are encouraged to get up close and personal with the models and have your photo take. It's really good, worth the 30mins I spent in there.

It was 5pm now so I didn't have time to do the Dungeon, so I went to 'spoons for a few more pints before wandering around the desolate town and back to the hotel. I found a Chinese takeway on the way where I purchased sweet & sour pork balls and duck fried rice. I also bought a bottle of wine.

Back at the hotel, I consumed the goods. The room is lovely at night, really warm. The lighting is perfectly done.

There's a Hot Ice poster on the wall, lol!

The Big One looked inviting from the window.

I started to feel a bit Alan Partridgey at this point and collected up all the branded stuff in the room for a photo shoot.

By now I was pissed and busting for a fag so I walked to the seafront and took some photos of The Big One at night.

Thanks for skim reading and stopping to look at a couple of photos <3

 

[T0M]

Lovely pictures with very Nuts/Zoo-esque captions.

 

[Robbie]

Nice report, although the weird thing was that when I drove past the Pleasure Beach that night it wasn't lit up. I think I was probably too keen to get through the Illuminations.

The group were crammed into a lift where an excitable attendant told the same joke he probably tells lift full; "They're repainting the Tower. It'll take three years. I had a bloke in the lift yesterday who said he was an engineer and has seen a tower in a similar condition. the next day it fell down. Thankfully it's my day off tomorrow!" I rolled my eyes and took a photo.

My mum said to the lift operator "I bet this job has it's ups and downs, doesn't it?" to very little response.

If you're head is on this rack, you're no longer famous I'm afraid.

I think those heads are from when the attraction was Louis Tussauds - some of them are terrible, and I do remember the Planet of the Apes tableau from when I was young. Which is why I've always been too scared to watch the films!

 

[Josh73]

Thanks for skim reading and stopping to look at a couple of photos <3

I read thw whole thing for lack of a life.

Nice PTR! Could you hear the Big One from your hotel room? Thanks for posting!

 

[Ian]

^ Yeah, when I arrived (about 2pm) the park was open so I could hear it (and the Big Dipper) running....as I said above :wink:

I also heard them testing in the morning, which promoted me to down a pint of water and two paracetamol before having a shower. I used ALL the complementary toiletries. I used the shampoo on my other hair and poured the bath salts in the bath before showering.

 

[SaiyanHajime]

Nice Ian! I've seen about a million photos from the Blackpool Tussauds, but never seen the Coronation St bit... Weirdly. Pretty cool. All their new ones seem to have really awesome interactive stuff and a lot more scenes along with the figures. Think it works? Does it add to it?

I want to stay in the Big Blue Hotel. :C Looks like it could single handedly improve Blackpool.

 

[Ian]

Yes, the interactivity is a vast improvement. It was a bit boring on my own but I imagine with a group of people willing to post for silly photos, it would be fab. IMO, it's better than the London one because it has that Blackpool Shine to it (read: tacky).

 

[Pierre]

Glad someone else agrees the Beatles are over-rated.

 

[TP Rich]

I've heard that they're planning on fully illuminating the tower again for next year's illuminations. Hope so, it looked **** this year. :/

 

[Robbie]

I've heard that they're planning on fully illuminating the tower again for next year's illuminations. Hope so, it looked **** this year. :/

They couldn't put the illuminations on the tower this year because of the repainting, but hope to do so next year if the paint job is finished.