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Animal sex at Chessington

Ian

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I get sent quite a few press releases (most of which are pretty bland) but this one made me chortle, so I decided to post it.

Chessington World Of Adventures Resort hires animal baby making consultant to explain 'the birds and the bees' to young visitors

Chessington World of Adventures Resort this week announced the appointment of Lisa Britton as their resident 'Birds and the Bees Consultant' following the recent baby boom at the park.

The Zoo has had a fantastic baby boom with eight adorable Meerkats, a bambi-like Sitatunga baby; a Golden Lion Headed Tamarin; two Squirrel Monkeys; twin Gentle Lemurs; and a Standing’s Day Gecko born within a matter of weeks!

The job has been appointed after zookeepers and guides on ZUFARI, the amazing new safari ride, were bombarded by questions from children which parents were unsure how to answer.

Lisa has had over seven years experience working with animals and children. She will be based at ZUFARI, which lets adventurers journey through extreme terrain and encounter many species up close and personal including giraffes and white rhinos, and is on hand to answer any questions children may have, at the request of parents. Lisa has been trained to respond appropriately with an age specific level of detail.

Lisa Britton, the 'Birds and the Bees Consultant' said: "After the recent baby boom we've definitely had an increase in questions. All animal behaviour is a natural, wonderful part of wildlife and I am able to explain these behaviours to children in an age appropriate way."

Continuing: "Though we have questions about all our species, we surprisingly have the most around our tortoises, who mate slowly but for a long period."

"Our squirrel monkeys sometimes display their private areas - this is an important social signal in relation to group hierarchy and communication."

I love the signs!
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Obviously skanky Facebook mums are OUTRAGED that their disabled child had to witness such filth whilst queuing 17 hours for Zufari only to find he's too small and the restriction signs weren't clear enough at the entrance.
 
Our squirrel monkeys sometimes display their private areas - this is an important social signal in relation to group hierarchy and communication."

Love the above, The males are saying "come & get it"

We all have sex within our lives as it's a natural thing to do, a great idea for Chessington visitors who have any questions etc.
 
This is horrible! I would rather have my mum or dad give me to birds and the bees talk, not some teenage stranger that is probably going to go into detail and say '(insert name) HAS THE BIGGEST TITS IN THE WORLD! ON MY SEX WISHLIST!"Did you see how little those kids where? That boy was like 5! I am probably going to get tons of hate for this but I think this is just wrong.

I have to admit, the signs where a bit funny though...
 
YEAH BLOODY INSENSITIVE ANIMALS HAVING SEX AT A THEME PARK/ZOO WHERE THEY LIVE HOW DARE THEY DON'T THEY KNOW THERE'S KIDS AROUND.

But aye that 'teenage stranger' with seven years of experience definitely seems like the sort of person who'd educate the kids by shouting about what has THE BIGGEST TITS IN THE WORLD.

I thought ignorant dribble like that was confined to Facebook/Twitter complaints, apparently not.
 
Just ejaculation or actual orgasms? Not that I know the answer in either case, but it's best to be precise ;)
 
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