Okay, I know some people don't get these things, so I suggest you read my post here first:
viewtopic.php?f=4&t=30089&start=1400
Now for the report.
So, Alton then, that's unusual for me. However, Mr Clam (ex-CF member) was over for a visit from Canada (he's now a Canadian citizen, so the first thing he did was come back to the UK :? ) with his lovely girlfriend, Niki (which answers the anciently vexatious question of "are all Canadians like Taylor" - no)
Niki hadn't been to the UK before and Mr Clam always liked Alton so he asked me to grab tickets and accompany him to the park. I also dragged along Step-Siter-In-Law_Furie (SSIL_F), Minor_Furie and Will-not-our-Will-but-Will-friend-of-Minor_Furie (wnowbwfom_F) because otherwise it'd be a bit weird and gooseberry-like.
So we arrive, and as always a first time visitor just hasn't got a clue what's going on. You drive through some country, a couple of small towns, a winding hill surrounded by trees and then you're suddenly in a car park of a large theme park. A large theme park you still can't see (not at this time of year when the trees are full anyway).
So the monorail is a superb way to introduce the park and as we pass over things, I'm catching Mr Clam's and Niki's excitement about the park. I love it when that happens as it reminds me of how special Alton is. It also helps that the day is bright, warm and clear so the park is really shining out as a great British ambassador.
We actually started heading through at about 10:00 a.m. and made our jolly way through to Forbidden Valley to get Nemesis out of the way. Niki has only been to Vancouver Playland, so she's not got many rides under her belt. Best to start at the top and then everything else (except Oblivion) is easy going.
We arrived and the queue for Nemesis: Sub Terra was about fifteen minutes, so we decided to do that first. It was great because only SSIL_Furie and myself had been on the ride before. So everyone else (especially Niki, who it is now becoming very clear is of a very nervous disposition) is a little twitchy about what to expect. I've put my review in the Sub-Terra topic, but it was a hit. I think Niki screamed non-stop from the moment the show started until somewhere around lunchtime and everyone came out with a very positive opinion of the ride. So yeah, it was great and an excellent opening to the day.
It's worth pointing out Niki was like this most of the day:
Copyright 2012 unflattering-photo's-by_Furie
Mouth hanging open in how amazingly lovely Alton is. The mix of theming, gardens, tree shaded paths, the Towers, the rides, everything. Alton can be gorgeous in the right weather at the right time of year and yesterday was perfect.
Anyway, Nemesis... I've always found Nemesis to be quite a hard ride. It's a sedimentary base that gives it a fine, crumbly nature once you've brken into the dense, tightly packed construct.
Sedimentary delight.
Straight from Nemesis to Air, which was due to open in five minutes. There was a neat queue around the area by the lift hill to the gates, but it really wasn't too long. Essentially, it was as long as the queue would have been if the ride was open (maybe even shorter).
The ride opened and we walked straight to the bridge over to the far station. So yeah, that's how big the queue waiting for the ride to open was. A 15 minute queue at 11:00 a.m? Never!
However, Air is a chore and it just kept on breaking. I pointed out that the fact it was generally under pine trees gave it an alkali quality that should be reminiscent of the ground back in Canada, so Niki should feel at home here on the ride:
Alkali due to the organic impurities
I guess we were delayed by about half an hour, and headed over Duel, planning to take the tried-and-tested-and-never-fails-Forbidden-Valley-anti-clockwise-route-of_furie. Duel was fine, but even better were these special production units hanging around...
Fish scented proto-soil manufacturing device
Then it's off to RMT for some mild loam based fun. It's quite a light loam though and densely packed, but the grass adores it!
Loam
And of course the Rapids is in order right afterwards. It's quite a squelchy mud as you can imagine, being a water based attraction:
Mud
I like the rapids at Alton, they're old friends of my. SSIL_Furie also likes them.
MY bag
As do Mr Clam and Niki - They don't have water in Canada or something (certainly not razors)?
Yes, I really do specialise in taking really dreadful photos
wnowbwfom_F and Minor_F are less than impressed though, but they are teenagers and aren't impressed unless there is swearing.
Sandy Clay
Lunch happened and we were unlucky enough to be in the courtyard when the pirate show started. We finished up quickly and ran for the Skyride to CLoud Cuckoo Land (well, Dark Forest). It was actually the only point Niki was unimpressed with Alton, that piss-poor pirate show.
We spotted some Canadian Geese on the lawns:
Sandy Loam
Which begged the question "Niki, what are Canadian Geese called in Canada?". The answer being... "Geese" :lol:
Skyride, but not because it's required (it isn't, Alton is an easy park to do without the Skyride), but because it shows off some of how lovely Alton is...
Go on, you can tell me, there's a huge red thing trying to sneak up on me isn't there?
Get a load of the Silty Clay Loam on that!
**** me, I really am good at this bad photo business aren't I?
Get your hands off my lower mantle!
So, fantastic journey across the grounds to Dark Forest and Rita. I've mentioned elsewhere my exact thoughts (it involved a lot of red faced men with the word "censored" across their mouths if it helps. It's also very dry and covered in matter. So not the best...
Dirt
And after Rita of course, 13. Now this is obviously the one to watch. People who aren't coaster geeks and haven't heard any of the hype. What is the verdict?
Filth
They loved the surprise element, nobody was quite expecting that and it was possibly the most stand out moment all day.
Hex followed, which I always expected to be a heavy mulch, but it's a surprisingly firm silty clay
Silty Clay
and another good, shocking and pleasing experience for the n00bs.
Through the Towers next and a bit of an expedition to find something unusual and to get the full use of our time on park. Great views and some very loose loam potentate:
Loam potentate
Tunnel of wee to Oblivion then... Now this is the real test of nerve and Niki was pretty sure she didn't have it. I love the way Oblivion is designed to absolutely terrify, it's such a superb piece of psychological engineering. Niki tried to run from the ride (literally she did) and was kept in her seat by Mr Clam.
I didn't take photos, it's all a bit soiled from this point onwards for a while...
After a break and a clean up, it was time for a bit of Flume fun (Mr Clam putting 21 stone at the front of the boat over hanging and almost sinking us), and then the final coaster, Sonic Spinball!"
Manure
And there we are, we finished with a wander around the Sea-Life and off home.
Absolute text-book "superb first visit" day at Alton. Just a bit of an issue with Air and the Flume (no more than about 15 minutes each) but everything else was great. Great weather, each ride was spot on (and enjoyed by everyone, except for Rita which I think was pretty much loathed), all queues under 30 minutes, food was good and the park looked lovely. It really just was perfect.
It's amazing the difference it can make going around with somebody who isn't cynical and jaded and suffering from "Merlin-fatigue". So I think maybe the park is still doing something well? Guest services were closed all day and I never once saw anyone not really enjoying the day. It was just all excitement and jollity everywhere you looked.
Now for Jordan to come along and tell me how piss-poor the park was on Tuesday :lol:
viewtopic.php?f=4&t=30089&start=1400
Now for the report.
So, Alton then, that's unusual for me. However, Mr Clam (ex-CF member) was over for a visit from Canada (he's now a Canadian citizen, so the first thing he did was come back to the UK :? ) with his lovely girlfriend, Niki (which answers the anciently vexatious question of "are all Canadians like Taylor" - no)
Niki hadn't been to the UK before and Mr Clam always liked Alton so he asked me to grab tickets and accompany him to the park. I also dragged along Step-Siter-In-Law_Furie (SSIL_F), Minor_Furie and Will-not-our-Will-but-Will-friend-of-Minor_Furie (wnowbwfom_F) because otherwise it'd be a bit weird and gooseberry-like.
So we arrive, and as always a first time visitor just hasn't got a clue what's going on. You drive through some country, a couple of small towns, a winding hill surrounded by trees and then you're suddenly in a car park of a large theme park. A large theme park you still can't see (not at this time of year when the trees are full anyway).
So the monorail is a superb way to introduce the park and as we pass over things, I'm catching Mr Clam's and Niki's excitement about the park. I love it when that happens as it reminds me of how special Alton is. It also helps that the day is bright, warm and clear so the park is really shining out as a great British ambassador.
We actually started heading through at about 10:00 a.m. and made our jolly way through to Forbidden Valley to get Nemesis out of the way. Niki has only been to Vancouver Playland, so she's not got many rides under her belt. Best to start at the top and then everything else (except Oblivion) is easy going.
We arrived and the queue for Nemesis: Sub Terra was about fifteen minutes, so we decided to do that first. It was great because only SSIL_Furie and myself had been on the ride before. So everyone else (especially Niki, who it is now becoming very clear is of a very nervous disposition) is a little twitchy about what to expect. I've put my review in the Sub-Terra topic, but it was a hit. I think Niki screamed non-stop from the moment the show started until somewhere around lunchtime and everyone came out with a very positive opinion of the ride. So yeah, it was great and an excellent opening to the day.
It's worth pointing out Niki was like this most of the day:
Copyright 2012 unflattering-photo's-by_Furie
Mouth hanging open in how amazingly lovely Alton is. The mix of theming, gardens, tree shaded paths, the Towers, the rides, everything. Alton can be gorgeous in the right weather at the right time of year and yesterday was perfect.
Anyway, Nemesis... I've always found Nemesis to be quite a hard ride. It's a sedimentary base that gives it a fine, crumbly nature once you've brken into the dense, tightly packed construct.
Sedimentary delight.
Straight from Nemesis to Air, which was due to open in five minutes. There was a neat queue around the area by the lift hill to the gates, but it really wasn't too long. Essentially, it was as long as the queue would have been if the ride was open (maybe even shorter).
The ride opened and we walked straight to the bridge over to the far station. So yeah, that's how big the queue waiting for the ride to open was. A 15 minute queue at 11:00 a.m? Never!
However, Air is a chore and it just kept on breaking. I pointed out that the fact it was generally under pine trees gave it an alkali quality that should be reminiscent of the ground back in Canada, so Niki should feel at home here on the ride:
Alkali due to the organic impurities
I guess we were delayed by about half an hour, and headed over Duel, planning to take the tried-and-tested-and-never-fails-Forbidden-Valley-anti-clockwise-route-of_furie. Duel was fine, but even better were these special production units hanging around...
Fish scented proto-soil manufacturing device
Then it's off to RMT for some mild loam based fun. It's quite a light loam though and densely packed, but the grass adores it!
Loam
And of course the Rapids is in order right afterwards. It's quite a squelchy mud as you can imagine, being a water based attraction:
Mud
I like the rapids at Alton, they're old friends of my. SSIL_Furie also likes them.
MY bag
As do Mr Clam and Niki - They don't have water in Canada or something (certainly not razors)?
Yes, I really do specialise in taking really dreadful photos
wnowbwfom_F and Minor_F are less than impressed though, but they are teenagers and aren't impressed unless there is swearing.
Sandy Clay
Lunch happened and we were unlucky enough to be in the courtyard when the pirate show started. We finished up quickly and ran for the Skyride to CLoud Cuckoo Land (well, Dark Forest). It was actually the only point Niki was unimpressed with Alton, that piss-poor pirate show.
We spotted some Canadian Geese on the lawns:
Sandy Loam
Which begged the question "Niki, what are Canadian Geese called in Canada?". The answer being... "Geese" :lol:
Skyride, but not because it's required (it isn't, Alton is an easy park to do without the Skyride), but because it shows off some of how lovely Alton is...
Go on, you can tell me, there's a huge red thing trying to sneak up on me isn't there?
Get a load of the Silty Clay Loam on that!
**** me, I really am good at this bad photo business aren't I?
Get your hands off my lower mantle!
So, fantastic journey across the grounds to Dark Forest and Rita. I've mentioned elsewhere my exact thoughts (it involved a lot of red faced men with the word "censored" across their mouths if it helps. It's also very dry and covered in matter. So not the best...
Dirt
And after Rita of course, 13. Now this is obviously the one to watch. People who aren't coaster geeks and haven't heard any of the hype. What is the verdict?
Filth
They loved the surprise element, nobody was quite expecting that and it was possibly the most stand out moment all day.
Hex followed, which I always expected to be a heavy mulch, but it's a surprisingly firm silty clay
Silty Clay
and another good, shocking and pleasing experience for the n00bs.
Through the Towers next and a bit of an expedition to find something unusual and to get the full use of our time on park. Great views and some very loose loam potentate:
Loam potentate
Tunnel of wee to Oblivion then... Now this is the real test of nerve and Niki was pretty sure she didn't have it. I love the way Oblivion is designed to absolutely terrify, it's such a superb piece of psychological engineering. Niki tried to run from the ride (literally she did) and was kept in her seat by Mr Clam.
I didn't take photos, it's all a bit soiled from this point onwards for a while...
After a break and a clean up, it was time for a bit of Flume fun (Mr Clam putting 21 stone at the front of the boat over hanging and almost sinking us), and then the final coaster, Sonic Spinball!"
Manure
And there we are, we finished with a wander around the Sea-Life and off home.
Absolute text-book "superb first visit" day at Alton. Just a bit of an issue with Air and the Flume (no more than about 15 minutes each) but everything else was great. Great weather, each ride was spot on (and enjoyed by everyone, except for Rita which I think was pretty much loathed), all queues under 30 minutes, food was good and the park looked lovely. It really just was perfect.
It's amazing the difference it can make going around with somebody who isn't cynical and jaded and suffering from "Merlin-fatigue". So I think maybe the park is still doing something well? Guest services were closed all day and I never once saw anyone not really enjoying the day. It was just all excitement and jollity everywhere you looked.
Now for Jordan to come along and tell me how piss-poor the park was on Tuesday :lol:
It sounds like you all had a fantastic day.
