On Saturday 7th September, I went to Adventure Wonderland in Dorset.
Despite living 30mins away, I've never been. When The Family Mess offered to take me there as a birthday treat, I jumped at the chance. The birthday of the girl of Family Mess is two days before mine so it was a joint 6th and 33rd birthday party. I bought her a set of Little Miss books, she made me a paper robot to stick proudly on my fridge.
The whole place feels very bland. The grass needs watering. There are no flower beds. It's just flat grass and tarmac. It's gross.
There is one cred here, Wild Bills Runaway Train. Boy of Family Mess is under the 1 metre height limit but they let him ride anyway.
The theme is quite good - cowboys and indians - although it did look a little washed out and tired.
It was nothing special. It jerked me about a bit. The Kids of Family Mess loved it though and we rode it three times in a row.
Father, Boy and Girl of Family Mess went on the Orbiter. I sat out with Mother of Family Mess. Too scary for me.
The next ride we went on was the Yo-Yo's. I can't recall seeing one of these before so I rode it.
The chairs go round and round and up and down. Although it didn't go very high when me and Girl shared a seat because the hydraulics (or whatever they use) couldn't handle my fat arse. Never mind, the kids loved it.
The new attraction for Wonderbland this year are the Battle Boats. Petrol powered water boats that squirt water.
Boy wanted to ride but Girl didn't so nobody did.
Boy and Father rode the pile o' ship.
Boy wanted to ride the Polly Drop drop tower but Girl didn't. Boy was too small to ride. No adults allowed. Shame, it looked fab.
Both Boy and Girl spent 20mins on the inflatable side. No adults allowed.
Aside from the Yo-Yos, the ride selection is bland but is aimed at kids. There are some bland feet and finger mazes dotted about.
There's also a hedge maze - the 3rd largest in Britain.
The kids led the way and we were stuck in there for 20mins.
The reward is a central pillar.
The made was designed by Adrian Fisher, the same chap who designed the Blackpool maze and the mirror maze at PortAventura. The Alice in Wonderland design is best viewed from above, or in an artists impression.
Wonderbland used to be called "Alice In Wonderland" so there are several references to the books.
My favourite Alice in Wonderland reference was the shrinking hedge that got larger as guests walk through it, but inside it like the magic mirrors and chairs got larger so it felt like the guest was shrinking.
Boy, Girl and I rode the caterpillar track ride.
We did the flying elephants. Unlike the ones at CWOA, you can't control the height.
Teacups. I rode with Boy and was forced to spin it violently. Both Boy and I staggered off feeling sick.
Now a series of photos showing stuff people can climb over. Here's the "web". Boy managed to get to the top. Girl only wanted to climb 2ft off the ground.
There's an obstacle course. The entire Family Mess took part. Boy "won", Mother came last.
Zip wire thing that Boy fell off and somersaulted 6ft through the air and landed face first. He's ok, nothing a slide and an ice cream couldn't fix.
We had lunch inside - which was quite good value for money and tasty. There's also a massive indoor play area where I had the pleasure of accompanying Boy and Girl whilst Mother and Father drank tea. We watched the Alice in Wonderland show which was rather strange. It had quite a bit of adult humour and used the Gangnam Style tune too often. It also ended abruptly. "Would you like to come to our tea party, boys and girls?" asked Alice. "Yes!" shouted all of the kids. *curtains lower*
After lunch we went to Cuddle Corner Farm, which isn't a farm, in a corner and the fences were too high for Boy and Girl to cuddle the animals.
This poor sod won't be getting an cuddles in this enclosure!
Boy and girl paid £2.50 each to ride a pony for 90 seconds.
And the day ended with more multiple goes on the slide.
Wonderbland is like Paultons Park 10 years ago, albeit without the pretty gardens and exotic birds. It's a young childrens theme park full of all common attractions. There is nothing unique there. It's bland. The kids loved it - they didn't want to go home - but I reckon if several CFers rocked up to get the cred and expect a silly day out then they'd be disappointed. Although the Bournemouth Airport observation platform along the edge of the park might drag it out for an extra 15mins.
Wonderbland...+1 and done. Thanks for reading.
Despite living 30mins away, I've never been. When The Family Mess offered to take me there as a birthday treat, I jumped at the chance. The birthday of the girl of Family Mess is two days before mine so it was a joint 6th and 33rd birthday party. I bought her a set of Little Miss books, she made me a paper robot to stick proudly on my fridge.
The whole place feels very bland. The grass needs watering. There are no flower beds. It's just flat grass and tarmac. It's gross.
There is one cred here, Wild Bills Runaway Train. Boy of Family Mess is under the 1 metre height limit but they let him ride anyway.
The theme is quite good - cowboys and indians - although it did look a little washed out and tired.
It was nothing special. It jerked me about a bit. The Kids of Family Mess loved it though and we rode it three times in a row.
Father, Boy and Girl of Family Mess went on the Orbiter. I sat out with Mother of Family Mess. Too scary for me.
The next ride we went on was the Yo-Yo's. I can't recall seeing one of these before so I rode it.
The chairs go round and round and up and down. Although it didn't go very high when me and Girl shared a seat because the hydraulics (or whatever they use) couldn't handle my fat arse. Never mind, the kids loved it.
The new attraction for Wonderbland this year are the Battle Boats. Petrol powered water boats that squirt water.
Boy wanted to ride but Girl didn't so nobody did.
Boy and Father rode the pile o' ship.
Boy wanted to ride the Polly Drop drop tower but Girl didn't. Boy was too small to ride. No adults allowed. Shame, it looked fab.
Both Boy and Girl spent 20mins on the inflatable side. No adults allowed.
Aside from the Yo-Yos, the ride selection is bland but is aimed at kids. There are some bland feet and finger mazes dotted about.
There's also a hedge maze - the 3rd largest in Britain.
The kids led the way and we were stuck in there for 20mins.
The reward is a central pillar.
The made was designed by Adrian Fisher, the same chap who designed the Blackpool maze and the mirror maze at PortAventura. The Alice in Wonderland design is best viewed from above, or in an artists impression.
Wonderbland used to be called "Alice In Wonderland" so there are several references to the books.
My favourite Alice in Wonderland reference was the shrinking hedge that got larger as guests walk through it, but inside it like the magic mirrors and chairs got larger so it felt like the guest was shrinking.
Boy, Girl and I rode the caterpillar track ride.
We did the flying elephants. Unlike the ones at CWOA, you can't control the height.
Teacups. I rode with Boy and was forced to spin it violently. Both Boy and I staggered off feeling sick.
Now a series of photos showing stuff people can climb over. Here's the "web". Boy managed to get to the top. Girl only wanted to climb 2ft off the ground.
There's an obstacle course. The entire Family Mess took part. Boy "won", Mother came last.
Zip wire thing that Boy fell off and somersaulted 6ft through the air and landed face first. He's ok, nothing a slide and an ice cream couldn't fix.
We had lunch inside - which was quite good value for money and tasty. There's also a massive indoor play area where I had the pleasure of accompanying Boy and Girl whilst Mother and Father drank tea. We watched the Alice in Wonderland show which was rather strange. It had quite a bit of adult humour and used the Gangnam Style tune too often. It also ended abruptly. "Would you like to come to our tea party, boys and girls?" asked Alice. "Yes!" shouted all of the kids. *curtains lower*
After lunch we went to Cuddle Corner Farm, which isn't a farm, in a corner and the fences were too high for Boy and Girl to cuddle the animals.
This poor sod won't be getting an cuddles in this enclosure!
Boy and girl paid £2.50 each to ride a pony for 90 seconds.
And the day ended with more multiple goes on the slide.
Wonderbland is like Paultons Park 10 years ago, albeit without the pretty gardens and exotic birds. It's a young childrens theme park full of all common attractions. There is nothing unique there. It's bland. The kids loved it - they didn't want to go home - but I reckon if several CFers rocked up to get the cred and expect a silly day out then they'd be disappointed. Although the Bournemouth Airport observation platform along the edge of the park might drag it out for an extra 15mins.
Wonderbland...+1 and done. Thanks for reading.
