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A Long Overdue Return To Coasters - South Coastering

Burniel

Roller Poster
Preamble
Much like (I assume) many people, my love for coasters started in my early teens. At the time, I was stereotypically over-informed and over-opinionated for someone with a child's level of experience, although as part of a classic British "Merlin Pass family" I was very fortunate to rack up a few more credits than the average kid of my age. It was around five years ago that I found myself losing enthusiasm - I never "grew out of it" as such, I just found myself less interested as slightly more adult life events began.

Fast forward to this year and I found myself graduating university, moving back to the South London area, and hearing of a new B&M opening almost walking distance away. Obviously, I'd have to give it a go for old time's sake. And what about that record breaker coming to Thorpe next year, would be rude not to give that a go... before I knew it, I was back at both of my old home parks at every opportunity with shiny new pass in hand. A lot of what I wanted to do as a kid is more feasible now - time to give this enthusiast lark another shot.

Adventure Island - 20th August 2023
Deciding where to go for my first new park in over 6 years was made easier by limited options. A car is a luxury I'm yet to afford, so to ease myself in I figured it had to be somewhere day-trippable by public transport, with enough to do to guarantee it would feel worth it. Adventure Island became the option of choice, and 2 hours of trains (and suprisingly only 1 set of engineering works) later, I arrived in Southend.

On a sunny Sunday in mid August, Adventure Island has a great buzz. It's got that seafront vibe with compact rides crammed in every spare bit of floor (or indeed roof) space whilst clearly being operated with the facilities and capacity to handle peak summer crowds. I collected my pre-booked wristband (which I felt was reasonable value at £20) and found my way to the obvious first stop: Rage (#59).

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I had assumed comparing Rage to my only other Eurofighter would be unfair, given how much larger and more themed Saw - The Ride is, but Rage ended up being a delight. It's hard to think of much I didn't get from the ride that I do from Saw, besides the latter's indoor section and inevitable thumping headache. It was great fun and nowhere near as rough as feared, prompting an immediate second go. It did become a little more violent when re-riding later in the day, but I had no issue getting 5 total laps on it across my visit, and would perhaps have done more had the queue not built up.

After a disappointing experience on the neighbouring Skydrop, I figured the crowds would likely build as the afternoon went on, and so began to hit the junior creds in quick succession. Green Scream (#60) is a pretty fun Zierer Tivoli, and I was glad to have a seat towards the back of its enormous train. Mighty Mini Mega (#61) became my first ever Pinfari coaster, and despite its horrendous name, the experience was fine, acting as a reasonably fun family coaster albeit with weird profiling and a distinct vibration which suggested it would be a lot less fun going any faster than 25mph.

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I then became the only unaccompanied adult on Kiddi Koasta (#62) (a situation I suspect may become familiar if this hobby persists), whose tiny airtime hills at the bottom caught me by surprise, before rounding off the coasters on Barnstormer (#63), which was my favourite of the 4 purely due to the surprising force with which it takes the main helix.

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(Some excellent camerawork on these ones, I'm sure you'll agree...)

Outside of the coasters, the bulk of the park's footprint is taken up by flat rides, the most interesting of which are probably Axis (an SBF inverting Frisbee) and The Screature (an orbiter). I found the former to be a bit style over substance and lacking in force, whereas the latter was fantastic and well worth another spin later in the day. I had known not to expect Time Machine, an infamous in-house creation, to be open, but it was encouraging to see signage promising its imminent return.

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I also experienced two dark rides at the park. The first, Adventureville, I knew little about but seem to remember reading good things. The result was a perfectly adequate ride, but one which my initial expectations were a bit too high for, proved by the fact that I appreciated it "for what it was" a lot better on the second lap (each cycle comprises two circuits with different lighting). I enjoyed the slight tilt the cars do as they enter the spinning tunnel; it adds a lot to an otherwise standard effect. Similarly, Over The Hill 2: Spooksville is worth a go and is fine once you align your expectations to neon 2D theming and spooks aimed at kids.

In all, my visit to Adventure Island lasted 3-4 hours. If I'd just wanted the coasters, half of that would have sufficed. If I'd wanted to ride all the flats, another hour or two could have been spent. As it was, I was hot, growing slightly weary of over-enthusiastic announcements from superhero-costumed staff (who in all fairness deserve a lot of respect), and happy to get back on the rails. I found the park pleasant, clean, and friendly, with few negatives but equally nothing hugely impressive - though Rage was great fun. I would gladly return, but probably not before the rebirth of Time Machine or the installation of something else significant.
 

Burniel

Roller Poster
Paultons Park - 8th September 2023
“Yesterday I went, as we all must, to Peppa Pig World…”

Despite having studied in Southampton for 4 years, Paultons Park had until this week been unexplored territory for me, demonstrating just how much of a reduced priority theme parks were for me during that time. As I was already planning a trip back to the area this week for a concert, I decided it was about time to head down and finally check the place out.

The journey from my hotel in Southampton Central was an easy enough 20 minute run on the X7. Contrary to what Google Maps had me believe, the bus actually drops right outside the main entrance (at certain times on certain days), providing a relatively inexpensive direct link from station gate to turnstile. Though an earlier bus was available, I chose to arrive just before 11, and found the entrance procedure to be smooth.

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Being a September Friday, I figured crowds would be light, allowing me to enjoy the day without the need for tactical planning; I therefore headed straight for bit I was most excited for, Tornado Springs. The area seems to have drawn much praise since opening, and I'm pleased to say I agree - this is definitely some of the best theming I’ve seen in the UK. Unlike (for example) some of Merlin's newer work, the high standard is maintained throughout the area rather than being focused on single marketable pieces - the indoor queues for the coasters were particularly impressive.

Storm Chaser (#64) is the bigger coaster in the area, and the biggest in the park. It’s technically a cloned layout, but much like 99% of the clientele, I’m highly unlikely to come across another any time soon. The ride is superb, with surprising moments of intensity and a very re-ridable, if short, layout. A good spin on Dragon’s Fury is probably marginally more thrilling, but after 8 laps throughout the day I decided that Storm Chaser is the best family coaster (that I’ve done) in the UK when it comes to the overall package.

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Nearby Cyclonator is the park’s biggest flat. The restraints are a bit awkward, but the ride itself is great fun and has some good forces. Not to be missed.

My next credit was Farmyard Flyer (#65), a perfectly pleasant Zierer Force, albeit not something that needs doing more than once. Similar (though far less themed) was nearby Cat-O-Pillar Coaster (#66), a Tivoli Medium which sent me absolutely flying over the drop in the back row.

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Next up was a trek to the other side of the park to The Lost Kingdom, a Jurassic land featuring a pair of family Vekomas nestled amongst a variety of foliage and rockwork. Flight of the Pterosaur (#67) was my first Vekoma Suspended, and it was delightful. Fun and breezy on the front and unexpectedly whippy at the back, all with very comfortable lap restraints. Would make a great step-up coaster for kids transitioning from the likes of the Tivolis.

After a couple of cycles, I went to a deserted Velociraptor (#68), where I interrupted the operator’s otherwise carefree existence to obtain a front and back row ride, both as the sole passenger. Once again, this was my first of the model, and it was pretty good, though probably my least favourite of the four "bigger" coasters at the park. Still, it offered some mild forces and and a family-friendly layout. Going backwards on a coaster is always fun.

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"Where would be a good place to get a photo of Velociraptor? How about directly behind that support?"

An awkward ride then followed on Dino Chase (#69), again sat idle for lack of custom, where a friendly but very knowing greeting from the ride op preceded yet another solo ride. It was fine, would be great for young kids, though it does feel like a coaster of this size would possibly fit better in Peppa Pig World as there's not that much more for the really tiny ones to do at this end of the park.

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A noticeable change in tone is felt upon leaving The Lost Kingdom and heading towards Cobra (#70). This part of the park predates their intricate themed areas, but to be fair it was still well presented, complete with trademark perfect hedgerows. The coaster is enormous fun, and I really hope it stays around when the surrounding area inevitably gets an upgrade in future. Whilst in the area, I also rode Edge, a large Disko, where the additional seatbelt (as compared to Chessington’s Kobra, the only fray with one of these I’d had before) confused me until I realised just how bumpy it is - a sure sign it’s one of the older “thrill” rides at the park. Good fun regardless.

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Quick summary of the more minor things I did:
- Raging River (travelling-style log flume) was fine, the water was nice and clean.
- Magma (small SBF drop tower) gives moderate drops and makes it very obvious where the inspiration for Croc Drop came from.
- Boulder Dash is a kiddie flat which I thought was going to be a lot better than it was.
- Buffalo Falls was a set of three-drop dinghy slides. So yeah, pretty good.
- The zoo and garden areas were well maintained and pleasant, if not anywhere I spent lots of time.

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I also had a mooch around Peppa Pig, the only part of the park where the rides gathered a queue. It was fine, plenty to look at and lots of kiddie rides but based on the amount of marketing and general hype it has I was expecting it to be a bit bigger than it was. It more than does the job, and it's clearly pulling the off-peak crowds well, but the park have done much better things since (which is a good thing, I guess). No photos as I felt a bit self-conscious taking any.

As I hope has come across throughout, I really enjoyed Paultons Park. The place just seems to do everything the way it should be done. Immaculately clean and well presented, with great customer service and, with the addition of Tornado Springs, a very respectable set of ride hardware for a family park. The park offers a range of experiences on the level of a corporate park with the charm and friendliness of somewhere much smaller. To make the obvious comparison with Chessington, I firmly believe Paultons offers a much nicer day out, though I'm sure my assessment is heavily biased by it being so quiet I managed around 40 rides in just over 5 hours. A couple of areas are clearly still developing, but everything "new" they do is outclassing their Merlin counterpart in almost every way.

In the interests of balance, I can think of two criticisms of the park. Firstly, the nature of their bigger coasters, in particular the Vekomas, means that they can only ever run one train - hardly a problem on my visit, but I can see this being a problem as the park continues to grow. Secondly, the place could really do with a good quality dark ride to round off the lineup.

Very happy with my day, I retired to the park entrance bus stop from which (at least on my visit) a Southampton-bound bus collects at 16:28 - it's probably worth asking ahead of time though...

Until the next one.
 

Matt N

CF Legend
Great reports @Burniel; I'm glad your reintroduction to theme parks seems to be going well!

I've never been to Adventure Island myself, so I can't comment on that one, but I’m glad you enjoyed Paultons! I went to the park in July 2021, and I have to say that even though the coasters are family coasters rather than out and out thrill machines, it’s a very nice, wholesome park that’s a lot more fun than its RCDB file suggests, in my view! The coasters are great fun, there are some pockets of very nice theming, and it just has an overall nice vibe, in my view; I’m glad you enjoyed it too!
 

Burniel

Roller Poster
Thanks @Matt N - I've been having a blast, hoping to get a few more good ones in before the end of the season.

Completely agree about Paultons. At first glance, it seems a little out of the way and expensive for what may seem like just a few family coasters, but everything from the larger rides to the facilities and grounds are presented with a level of quality I've rarely seen in this country - at least in my limited experience. It's a lovely place to be and I'd be keen to return to after their next investment.
 

Burniel

Roller Poster
Alton Towers - 11th & 12th September 2023

5-10 years ago, an annual 2-day visit to the UK's biggest (and probably best) theme park was a family tradition. Last year we returned for the first time in many years, no longer restricted in visit dates by school commitments, and enjoyed it so much a return trip was planned. Photos are limited in this one because, frankly, I was having too much fun with my folks.

A 6am start afforded us a traffic-free run north, parking up around 9:15 and through the turnstiles for around 9:30. Figuring it would be one of the busier operating coasters, we joined the pre-queue for Wicker Man and (by pure chance) were treated to a back row ride shortly after 10. This is the true definition of a family thrill coaster - comfortably rideable for all of our varying ages and coaster tolerances, and the one we most enjoyed as a group. We managed three rides over our two days, all towards the back, and it was fantastic every time. I think I somehow forgot about this when crowning Storm Chaser last week; Big Bob is clearly in a league of his own.

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With no Skyride to help out, and all of us running on reduced sleep, we resolved to work area by area, and so headed off to Forbidden Valley, setting ourselves up neatly to slowly work our way back towards the front of the park by lunchtime. Galactica rode roughly how I remember, though I had two observations. Firstly, the ride looks and operates quite run-down; the station is shabby and it seems every other train needs to be rechecked, lowered then reraised, or abandoned altogether. Secondly, disembarking riders were thanked for flying with Air - I agree with the rumours of a refurbishment in time for the grand reopening of Nemesis, and would love to see a return of the Air theme.

Speaking of Nemesis, I really missed it this visit. Experiencing the park without it really highlights just how far ahead of everything else it was, so I'm really glad the work's going in to keep it going for decades to come. We amused ourselves instead with The Blade and Nemesis Sub-Terra, the former being exactly as you'd expect for a swinging ship, but the latter being a surprise hit. Though not a headliner attraction, it's a really immersive and well thought-out experience which definitely deserves one go each trip. I really appreciate how the staff demeanour changes throughout, from friendly tour guide to military operative to all-out panic - their performances were great on our visit.

Sub-Terra's reign as pleasant surprise of the day was short-lived, as The Curse At Alton Manor knocked all of our socks off. This ride is great - the fear level is about right for the park, it's brilliantly themed, and is overall a far better dark ride than its predecessor. It's one of those rides where you still notice new things even on repeated cycles. We all love bashing Merlin every now and then, but they smashed it with this one. Rides on Runaway Mine Train (where the ride op was less than impressed at my father's insistence at shouting "choo choo" as loud as possible each lap) and Congo River Rapids (hooray for the waterfalls!) led perfectly into our planned lunch at the Towers Street café. This was my first experience of the new Aramark food, and I have to agree with the masses - poor and very overpriced.

Spinball Whizzer was the first stop after lunch, expectedly dead at this time of day. With just 2 of us choosing to ride, we spun more than I can ever remember spinning on it - I now think it's less inferior to Dragon's Fury than I have previously given it credit for. Oblivion was much the same as always, a fantastic ride with one of my favourite drops of all time, but it's such a shame the faff of walking half a mile through the queue then stacking 3-deep on the brake run makes re-rides unappealing even on quiet days; why run 4 trains on 1 station?

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As the years have progressed, I've become the only family member with any desire to ride The Smiler, so a mostly-deserted single rider queue was perfect for obtaining 4 rides on it over the two days, cutting queues of 30 minutes each time. The coaster is easily the best in the park in the absence of Nemesis, the roughness is only a minor issue until the 12th inversion, and it's honestly a ride I consider the UK very lucky to have.

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We headed up to the back of the park and were fortunate to arrive just as Th13teen reopened from some downtime, snagging a ride just before 20 minutes' worth of people piled in behind us. It's fine, I wish the outdoor section was a bit more exciting, but it does its job. Rita was an unexpected bonus, it having been closed for several days prior to our visit. With it being only 3pm and the ride being walk-on, we waited 10 minutes for the front row. From this position, it's actually one of the better coaster rides you can have at Alton Towers and well worth an extra wait of 5-6 trains or so.

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We gave Gangsta Granny: The Ride a go as we were nearby, and felt as neutral towards it as we had last year. The ride just isn't exciting enough. I get that it's for kids, but I've always seen the Walliams books (having read the first few myself as a youngster) as being aimed around the 8-12 range. In other words, this ride is competing for the attention of kids who've recently gained access to the 1.2 and/or 1.4m rides. It needs to do more than move about a few screens and blast some smoke occasionally.

We did a couple of re-rides throughout the park, split briefly while I grabbed a couple on The Smiler, then called it a day. Turns out it is possible to do Towers in one 10-5 day, but only on off-peak weekdays with limited breaks and following a very disciplined route...

The next morning was a much wetter affair, which I would usually see as good news for crowds, but further discouragement for other guests is hardly needed on a September Tuesday. The day largely consisted of coaster and curse re-rides, a begrudging couple of rides on some of the temporary flat installations (Flavio's Fabulous Fandango, which actually fits in alright, and Funk 'n' Fly, which absolutely does not), and another disappointing lunch, before heading home early to get a headstart on the traffic. Two things of genuine note came out of the second day:

1. The entry and exit procedure was notably poor. We arrived to the news that the Monorail was down - sure, it happens. On the walk to the park, we noticed a number of groups trying their luck on the hotel entrance by Galactica, only to be turned away and told to walk the long way. This is one of those situations where clearly procedure must be followed, but I can think of no logical reason why when the monorail is down, it's raining, and it's a very quiet day (so it would hardly be overwhelmed), standard guests can't use this gate. Add the fact that roughly half the park opened late (it wasn't storming, just moderate rain), and I wouldn't have been pleased if I were a first-time visitor and this was my first impression.

2. I finally obtained a credit that has eluded me for many years! Octonauts Rollercoaster Adventure (#71) is a small, low-capacity coaster nestled within one of the most popular themed areas in the country, meaning I've never been able to justify waiting for it. My sister and I, both far too old to be there, proudly took our seats in the front row of an otherwise empty train and enjoyed what can only be described as a heavily sarcastic 2-lap cycle, ironically becoming one of my favourite memories of the trip.

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My signature tree with coaster in background photography returns.

So, Alton Towers - still as good as my childhood remembers? For the most part, yes. Nemesis was sorely missed, but the other coasters are still pretty good, and both The Curse and Sub-Terra were cool to get on for the first time. Operations were good and overall better than they "needed to be" for how quiet it was, despite the blip on the second morning. I do think Hex and the Skyride being closed all season is pretty rubbish, and obviously the Retrosquad continue to be an eyesore, but the park remains "special" to me (and no doubt to many others) and I'm already looking forward to my next visit, whenever that may be.
 

Burniel

Roller Poster
Drayton Manor - 7th October 2023

When initially planning trips to get back into this hobby, a first time at Drayton Manor was definitely on the list for the medium-term future. The recent announcement about "changes" to Shockwave pushed the park far higher up the priority list - it's bad enough that I missed Apocalypse, and I certainly wasn't going to risk it with Shockwave. And so, at 6am on a surprisingly warm October weekend, I embarked on the long and horrendously overpriced train journey to Tamworth.

I arrived a little before opening and found myself at what appeared to be a side/hotel entrance by the Viking area. Whether I took a wrong turn or this is the fate of all pedestrian arrivals is unclear to me, but no matter. As it was a quieter entrance, I was one of the first through when 10:30 hit, setting me up well to hit one of the lower-capacity family coasters before the rest of the crowds. I initially went for the powered coaster, but with the train still parked outside the station and maintenance still fiddling with it, I diverted instead to Accelerator (#72). This was my second family boomerang (having done my first only last month) and first of this specific layout. The theme here is... I don't really know? The queue rooms have some surprisingly good racing/random science stuff, only to let out into the most generic possible station and ride experience. Oh, and the track is green for no reason other than repainting not being in the retheme budget. To be fair, I shouldn't really comment about what could be seen when on-ride, as I was asked to remove my glasses and place them into my far less secure pocket just before departure, rendering me nearly blind to the experience - I guess this was my fault for assuming my strap wouldn't be needed on the smaller rides. The experience was fine in terms of force, though I think I enjoyed the more common "rebound" layout more.

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I guess there was some theming during the layout after all.

I didn't really know where to go next and ended up on Maelstrom, a fantastic Intamin frisbee which I think was my first of the type. With some of the Thorpe flats showing their age, this has to be up there among the best UK flat rides I've been on to date. It was also where my biggest concern for the day was alleviated, as while exiting the ride I saw a delayed first train of the day crest the lift of my main reason for visiting, making my next move obvious.

It's gutting that Shockwave (#73) seems doomed to face the conversion treatment, as I enjoyed it so much more than I expected to. The sheer novelty of inverting in a standing position just didn't seem to wear off for me, and the zero-g roll is ridiculous. It's not the smoothest, longest, or most interesting of layouts, but I found the trains less uncomfortable than I was expecting and overall thought the experience was something really unique and something that ought to be looked after with pride. With the wait never surpassing 2-3 trains (perhaps explaining why the changes are necessary), I managed 9 laps of the ride throughout the day, and could have got a couple more had I not had to leave slightly early for a train. Also, perhaps I was just lucky, but I found as a single rider in the main queue it wasn't too uncommon to be sent to fill an empty seat in the front row without having to wait in the dedicated queue, which was an added bonus.

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With all 4 coasters now operational, I set about ticking off the rest. Jormungandr (#74) is a powered coaster, a type which I personally choose to count but understand why others don't, though as I was waiting in the >30 minute queue I did think life might be easier if I chose not to count it. The lakeside setting makes this one, and though it's obviously nothing to write home about, I'm glad they kept it and vaguely themed it into the new area.

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I wasn't particularly looking forward to the wait for Troublesome Trucks Runaway Coaster (#75), not least when a sign on entry suggested it was 45 minutes, but it ended up much shorter than this. As an added win, I got called forward quite significantly due to a series of large families in front ("sorry kids, random adult coming through to ride ahead of you"). Though I'd written this off as a random kiddie coaster, it was actually a fair bit better than I'd expected. Don't judge a book and all that.

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For whatever reason, Storm Force 10 has always stuck out in my mind as a particularly iconic water ride, and so I made that my next stop. Recalling the warnings I'd read about the backwards drop, I was relieved to be placed in row 2, though surprised by how wet that section is even from this position. It's a great ride, well presented and fun.

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With plenty of time to spare, I also picked up a few other bits:
- Air Race - hadn't done one of these since 2015. This one was really fun.
- Thor - it was interesting to ride a newer Disk'O and compare to the older ones I've done recently. There's a definite difference; for one thing it really felt like there wasn't a "bad seat" on this one like there often seems to be. Everyone had at least one or two times going to the top.
- Sheriff Showdown - I watched a fair bit of TPW when I was younger and will admit part of my reason for riding this was to "get a bonus". Does this sound effect no longer play or was I just too rubbish to earn it? In any case, it was alright but nothing too exciting.

I'd have loved to do The Haunting as well, but it was completely closed off for unknown reasons. The River Rapids were also closed, but this was less of a loss as I don't really see the point in such rides on a solo trip.

It was about 3 at this point, and I had to leave at about 4:30. I took a break and drafted a few things I could do: check out the zoo, queue for a better ride on Accelerator, continue hopping around minor attractions, or just keep running around the unique major roller coaster that I may never get to ride (in its current form) again. I made my decision pretty quickly, achieving the majority of my aforementioned 9 cycles during this time.

So was Drayton Manor any good? Yeah, I'd say so. I had a pleasant day and there's enough to do to fill the time on a day with moderate crowds. The setting is certainly nice and classic, with everything around the central lake, operations were about as good as the hardware allowed, and staff were friendly. They're clearly pushing towards the family market now, and that's ok. The biggest weakness with this plan in my mind is that there's not any true family headliner to draw the crowds, more just a lot of "good" rides. As a result, there's not a whole lot I feel the need to return for any time soon, especially if Shockwave changes drastically. Hopefully next year's new coaster becomes this missing piece that makes future trips more appealing.
 

Burniel

Roller Poster
Blackpool Pleasure Beach - 13th April 2024
Because calling it "Pleasure Beach Resort" is rather like calling somewhere "theme park theme park".

A new season dawns, and with my first coaster-driven international trip under my belt, a visit to the most significant park in the UK not under the wizard's ownership felt long overdue. I'd have liked to visit here sooner, but the price and journey time of trains from the south east usually come out to slightly more than a short break in a European city of your choice, making it hard to justify. I was fortunate on this occasion to be able to combine it with a trip to the north of England to visit similarly interested friends, making the journey much more appealing.

It's been some time since BPB became a gated park, but its entrance still betrays the lack of traditional entrance amenities present in the park's original design. Wandering through a gift shop, it doesn't feel at all clear that you're going the right way into one of the country's most notable amusement parks until you arrive at a security checkpoint and set of turnstiles placed uncomfortably close together.

The entrance layout was far from the only confusing aspect of the park's operation. For some reason, the park only opens 10-5 on a Saturday at the tail end of Easter holidays, giving us a fairly narrow window to get everything done. This made it all the more frustrating when we discovered every major ride wasn't scheduled to operate until 10:30 meaning, having awoken at the crack of dawn and travelled in early to maximise our ride time, we got to spend a rather pointless 45 minutes watching test runs and trying not to think of the extra sleep we could have had if we'd known this would be the case.

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It was therefore with slightly diminishing excitement that we eventually boarded Icon (#84). This was easily the highest-rated coaster in the UK I'd yet to experience, so expectations were high. Perhaps this was a mistake, or perhaps the mid-train ride early in the day was, as I didn't initially understand the hype whatesoever. I knew not to expect my first Mack launch to be as powerful as what I've become used to, and the layout itself clearly had potential, but half the time it felt it'd be going faster if someone got out and gave us a push...

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Conversely, I'd previously heard much more mixed opinions about the Big One (#85). We opted for a back row on here, and perhaps controversially I found this to be far more fun (despite not being what I'd typically look for in a coaster) than our first ride on Icon. I'd never been on a ride of this scale that wasn't at least mostly smooth, so to be flung about a bit at such speed while traversing elements not ambitious enough to cause any notable pain was a novelty and felt really fitting for a "classic" coastal amusement park. It was a great shame that afternoon winds prevented further rides on here, though I'm aware this is a common issue and I should be grateful for being able to ride it at all.

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Next up was Revolution (#86), a simple yet intense shuttle coaster. I had assumed this would be rough and uninteresting, but was delighted to be proved wrong on both counts: it was a surprisingly comfortable experience and well worth the short wait. It's not exactly the most exciting and thrilling ride of yourrr life, but it's a solid part of the park's supporting lineup.

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Just around the corner was Steeplechase (#87), probably the strangest coaster I’ve done to date. I only did the yellow track as even at a 10 minute wait it didn’t seem worth multiple laps (it feels almost wrong that you can technically get 3 creds here). Objectively, this ride sucks; it’s unexciting, low capacity, and quite painful in the corners. Despite this, I’d be very sorry if it ever disappeared - the world needs more weird rides like this.

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We hit the kids’ area for rides on Blue Flyer (#88) and Nickelodeon Streak (#89), the former being even more tame than expected (though clearly preferable to an equivalent scale cloned steel ride) and the latter much better than expected, albeit with the wonkiest lift hill I've seen so far. A token ride was also taken on Avatar Airbender, my first Disk’O without the hump. I prefer the larger ones, but these have their own appeal too, the spinning feeling far stronger.

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Avalanche (#90) was our longest wait of the day. Like many coasters on our visit, a second train (which we saw parked up just after the station) would have helped a lot here. It's a short but fun coaster, making it a pity that these models are slowly becoming rarer. Nothing to write home about, but I’d have gladly gone again had ops been better. Big Dipper (#91) then became my third "oldest ever coaster" of the day, clocking in at nearly 101 years of age. This grants it something of a free pass in the comfort department, which it very much needs. Where many of the rougher coasters in Blackpool benefit from that "classic bumpy fairground ride" feeling, this one crossed the line into genuine discomfort for me. Though as before, I'd still take it over a generic equivalent.

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It was from one rough ride to the next, as just next door lay something of a rite of passage in my coaster journey: my first ride on an SLC. I really wanted to hate Infusion (#92), to finally feel able to share in the collective and very vocal hatred enthusiasts reserve for rides of this type. In this respect, it underdelivered on first impression - the second half was rough, but manageably so, and the first half was dangerously close to being a good coaster. It was so tolerable, we even returned for another ride at the end of the day, which I'm delighted to report turned out to be the single most vile coaster experience I've had to date. It seems this ride is so cruel it even pulled this inexperience rider into a false sense of security... and thus, order is restored.

We stopped by some dark rides on the way to our final coaster. Wallace & Gromit's Thrill-O-Matic was significantly better than expected; what I'd assumed would be a standard amusement park tier dark ride turned out to be one of the best in the country - bonus points for theming a ride around cheese. Ghost Train was also solid, though debate ensued in the queue as to whether the drop on this qualifies it as a coaster. I think not, but wouldn't begrudge anyone who disagrees.

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I was fairly impressed that, despite short hours and sub-optimal operations, we'd completed the creds by 3pm, concluding with Grand National (#93). Debate once again ensued, this time on how a Möbius should be counted. We rode both sides for good measure, which I'm counting as 1 coaster, though I don't necessarily think both have to be done to claim it. The ride itself is great, easily the best woodie in the park and a fun first racing coaster.

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This one curve of track was seemingly all I thought worth photographing for Grand National.

The rest of our time was taken up largely by re-rides, including two on the front row of Icon. Perhaps it had warmed up a lot, perhaps we were in a better mood, or perhaps the front really was much better, because something finally clicked. At (what felt like) greater speed, the ride was finally able to make use of its strong layout and, though I wouldn't go as far as to call it the nation's best, it's probably in the top 5 (that I've ridden).

Notably missing from the day were Sky Force (I'd have very much liked to try one of these, but they were closing it up when we got to it at around 4 - unclear if this was weather or a scheduled close, as some of the smaller rides also closed early) and Valhalla (however good it supposedly is, the temperature was too cold and our evening train journey too long to justify it - I'll be back to try it eventually).

Blackpool's a strange park. It's got some of the seafront atmosphere you'd expect, but feels slightly confused. You can't get in without paying entry, yet you're still required to scan your ticket at every ride. There's loads of old (and not-so-old) rough coasters, yet the country's smoothest thrill coaster is slapped in the middle. I'm very glad to have finally made the visit, and would recommend others do the same, but I can't say I'll be hurrying back for a few years. That is, of course, unless another Icon-level investment is made sooner.

TLDR - park's alright, 1. Icon, 2. Big One, 3. Revolution, 4. Grand National.
 

Burniel

Roller Poster
South Coastering - 20th April 2024

Buried quietly in the Southern Rail website is the DaySave ticket - a one-day rover granting unlimited off-peak travel on the Southern network. Though not having the best PR, they actually run a decent service along the south coast of England and, at £25 for the day, the ticket offers compelling value to those living in the London area looking to pick up some creds at the little seaside parks that aren't (of themselves) worth a dedicated visit.

Brighton Palace Pier
My first stop was in Brighton. I'd been here before on many a childhood day trip, but never done the rides. The pier's website boasted that rides would be open from 10am, but as I walked along the front at 10:30 it was pretty clear that none of the rides large enough to be seen from a distance had started yet. The reason for this became apparent when I arrived at the main coaster's entrance to find permanent-looking signage saying that due to "weather" they could only send trains with at least 10 people. There must have been about 10 people in the whole park at this point, so I asked at the ticket booth when they usually get enough demand to run the coasters. "Probably about midday". Mildly inconvenient but not disastrous, see you later.

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An hour passed as I toured the exotic sights of Brighton, including:
  • A very on-brand climate protest.
  • Possibly the least broken Guitar Hero arcade I've seen in some years (still very broken).
  • A pigeon being shooed out of a café.
When I arrived back at the pier, around 6 people were waiting outside Turbo (#94), and before long we'd reached the minimum ridership and were on. I wasn't really sure what to expect from my first thrill Pinfari, but what I got was actually quite decent. Some definite jolts in the transitions, but not so much as to ruin an otherwise enjoyable ride, with the fairly intense loop a clear highlight. Definitely something I'd have considered repeating had it not required another trip to my wallet.

The minimum ridership seemed even more ridiculous on Crazy Mouse (#95), where the 4-person cars were only being sent if full. Thankfully, within about 5 minutes of hanging around the entrance I was joined by a pair and another single rider. The advantage of forcing the cars to be full on a ride like this was that we got some really good spin in the second half. The disadvantage was that I was crammed somewhat awkwardly in between these two other groups. To my left was an enthusiastic young lad who spent the ride telling us how he'd waited all morning for people to ride this with but how he wasn't scared because he's been on Saw with his eyes closed. Good for you, pal.

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I'm sure the time of day didn't help, but I found Brighton Pier a bit underwhelming. Unlike some other coastal spots, there's a lot more to do in Brighton than the rides, which leads to the unusual situation where it's often quieter in the park than in the surrounding town. Throw in the fact that it's a tenner to do both of the creds, neither of which are exactly rocketing to the top of anyone's list, and it's one of the weaker places I've visited. Worth it for the one-off, though.

Harbour Park
Having spent longer than planned in Brighton, it was about 2 by the time I'd made it to this tiny fun park in Littlehampton. Instantly, this place (and Littlehampton in general) endeared itself to me far more than Brighton. There's only a handful of small rides, yet the park was signposted all through the town and had no trouble filling the train of its one coaster. It might be small, but Harbour Park was clearly the hub of the town on a sunny day in exactly the way these seaside amusements should be.

I was both proud and conflicted at how far down the shameless enthusiast path I'd travelled by visiting this town for the sole purpose of riding a wacky worm, but Ocean Coaster (#96) is something of a landmark in my count, as it's the first of this type that I've done. I sat at the back for that sweet airtime, from where it's easy to see why the layout is so cloned. It's simple and unintimidating, yet its target audience go mad for it. It's good at what it does and nothing more.

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Overall this is a nice spot offering very little of interest to me, but clearly a lot to the many other happy customers I saw.


Kidz Island
I hadn't paid attention to the specifics of what awaited me in Portsmouth and was both amused and mildly ashamed to discover that my next stop was for another wacky worm. South Parade Pier, on which Kidz Island is situated, is about a 40 minute walk from Portsmouth & Southsea station. The alternative was a 10 minute wait for a bus that would itself take half an hour. I figured as the destination was just a +1 I should at least do the town some justice and go on foot, even though I'm not completely unfamiliar with the area. This allowed me to see the exotic sights of Southsea, such as:
  • Two blokes with fantastic long grey hair carrying an amp from a house to a van.
  • Some sea, to the south.
  • Countless people with better priorities than me, rightly sat in beer gardens on this bright Saturday afternoon.
Riding Happy Caterpillar (#97) costs £3 plus a refundable £1 deposit on a "fun" card. The only obstacle to a group of one looking to ride just the coaster is that the ticket booths have a £5 card minimum; those who blew what little change they carry on a Guitar Hero machine in Brighton can find change machines accepting contactless in the neighbouring arcade. I felt awkward joining a parent and child as the only riders on the train (I guess there's a microclimate on this pier which avoids the need for a minimum ridership...) but needn't have worried. The operator gave me a knowing smile and offered suggestions on the most comfortable way to squeeze into the train, which led to a far more pleasant ride than the one I'd had along the coast.

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Clarence Pier
The final stop of the day was probably my favourite. The time of day probably helped, but it seemed to have the combination of the crowds and atmosphere as well as a couple of rides with appeal beyond adding a row to a spreadsheet. The park has an after 5pm deal comprising any 10 rides for £15, which is fair value considering a single ride on the two coasters alone will set you back 9, but after a long day and with a train home leaving in under an hour I decided to stick to the creds despite some decent-looking flats. Delightfully, ride tickets here come in the form of physical tokens instead of all that fun card nonsense. It's amazing how it's the little touches that add the most to the feel of a seafront amusement park like this.

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Tidal Wave (#98) was my first of probably many SBF spinners. I'd written this off as yet another insignificant kids' ride, so was shocked when it turned out to actually be good??? It's obviously nothing insane, but there's some noticeable force pulled in the back over the drop that was completely unexpected for a ride of this scale. This is a great small-footprint family coaster model, so I'm glad it's as cloned as it is.

Then you have Mad Mouse (#99), an example of a model presumably born of a time when SBF sat next to Pinfari in an exam. The cars have a bemusing design, with a seatbelt coming over both shoulders and a lab bar which itself has a seatbelt. Thus, to send a car with just me required three different types of restraint to be checked. Fortunately, I don't think this layout would have produced much air even with a less restrictive harness, so this wasn't a huge loss. Indeed, for one of the larger rides of the day, it was quite underwhelming, the helix and view of the sea being the only saving graces of an otherwise boring ride.

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It may not appear very impressive in terms of rides experienced, but this day was a great little adventure. Not only did I get the creds I was after, I had the chance to explore three very different coastal areas, satisfy the mild train geek in me by spending about 6 hours on them, and try some smaller coaster models I've seen much about but which haven't been present at the larger parks I've been prioritising so far. With the right expectations, I'd recommend it as a day out. It also got me to 99 coasters, so I suppose unless anything huge comes up I'll be keeping myself occupied at the home parks until late May...
 
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