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Suspending reality - what would Thorpe actually need? Woodie will be the obvious shout, or an airtime machine, but is there anything else? From a selfish POV, I'd say a woodie would fit in PERFECTLY with their line-up but I can't see Merlin investing in it after their Wickerman experience...

Alton Towers - walking down the pathway and suddenly it just opens up into a vast expanse of greenery with the Towers directly in front of you - you'd think you'd arrived at a country house rather than a working theme park as none of the rides are really visible from there either. Port Aventura...

Whilst there may be ad-hoc reports of the parks being quiet, do the facts actually bear that out? Are their attendances actually down year on year? PA is the anomaly purely because it's more of a 'resort' and it pulls in both tourists and locals, especially during the summer, but parks like...

Just another reason I really don't feel comfortable around the accelerators - that sheer amount of force and exposed mechanics (and too much FInal Destination) and I always think something like this is going to happen.

I do worry about the future of rapids rides and flumes - apart from the massive running costs, there is an inherent risk involved in them that doesn't appear to be as controllable as with other rides.

Would do that end of town a world of good though.

Whatever that pile of **** in Benidorm is called (Magnus Colossus?) that's up there as one of the roughest I've ever experienced. Last ride on Big Dipper was a shocker, I used to always think National worse but my last visit flipped that.

The day before I would have gone (when I would have had to book tickets) it still said 4pm close. A few friends had been the week before and said they were queuing for at least an hour for every ride. Extending the hours on the day or when you're in the park is great for those there - but as...

People leaving war-torn countries are fleeing, not Sally and Bob storming out of the queue for Vampire because Timmy has wet himself. Been a depressing read catching up on this thread. I was after a theme park fix the other day when in the Peak District for a few days but couldn't justify the...

Three sisters in a caravan? I've seen that movie...

Perfect timing as I came on looking for an Alton trip report since they re-opened. I was trying to decide if it was worth a visit just for a theme park fix and the 4pm closing was putting me off slightly but it sounds like you got on the big rides with no issue and I can't imagine it'll be too...

Would it be cynical to think those comments demanding further research is required on impacts will stem from the same source as companies affiliated with eventually producing such reports/

I think my view will probably echo most people's - Alton is just a better park. I guess it all depends on the circumstances and the company. If you're giving me a choice of 1 day at either park, it's always Alton. Better rides, basically. If I were taking some non-enthusiast friends to a park...

What even is that? A rebrand of an existing ride (I'm out of the loop). Either way, it looks cheap as **** - like literally it looks like one of those pop-up halloween scare fests you find in a random field somewhere.

It's embarrassing (although I'm not sure if it's for you lot or me) that none of you have mentioned Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with Cowabunga. Heathens. I both love this, and think it's a seriously smart business move for them. I get the concerns about them looking tatty, or putting people...

Smilers disgusting restraints had a distinct smell.

So there's two different strands to this for me. One the one side, you've got Nemesis. Built around and in the valley, impressive pacing, looks ominous, I'm surprised it took so long to be mentioned in here. But as it was built from scratch into the environment, it doesn't fall into the same...

I mean it didn't take a genius to predict that Icon wasn't going to bring the punters flying through the gates - I've lost count of the amount of times we've had to discuss how the UK market relies heavily on USP's, branding or 'world firsts'. It's a really good ride, it looks beautiful, it...

I dislike jump scares so I don't really think it's a scare thing, as there's just no enjoyment there for me. Oblivion is always the first one that comes to mind, I've been on bigger and faster rides, and I don't have any issue with Eurofighters (beyond the vertical lifts), but Oblivion gives me...

Yeah I think initially it was massively over-hyped (and somewhat rightly so based on both Helix/Blue Fire, and it being the first big ride in ages at BPB) and that was always going to impact on the initial reviews of it. I think it's perfect for the park, yet not what they needed. It's a...