NemesisRider
Roller Poster
Intro: A Lot Can Happen In 5 Years
My last visit to Thorpe Park was in 2019 – needless to say, between a worldwide pandemic, a complete rebrand and a major coaster, a lot has changed since. Whilst I‘ve made some great memories there and think it’s now probably got the UK’s overall best coaster lineup, I don’t think I’ve ever felt quite as much affection for the place as Towers. On my previous visits I’ve found it a bit hit-or-miss operationally, especially regarding Fastrack overselling, and very much relied on special enthusiast events to have a good time.
The good news is that Thorpe feels markedly improved in 2024. I went on a sunny Summer Sunday (I hoped the Euros finals would suppress crowds, they did not) and never queued more than an hour. Operationally, the ride hosts were making a real effort to get people loaded quickly on popular rides, most notably on Hyperia and Nemesis Inferno, and the park seems to have put in extra announcements to help with that. Regarding the atmosphere, the refresh on Colossus and Big Easy Boulevard are noticeable upgrades, and the entire park feels more well-kept than it did in the past. Hopefully Nemesis Inferno is next on the list, as I think the track is overdue a lick of new paint. There’s been some misses of course – the “legalise aliens” posters at The Swarm both look cheap and confuse me, plus various ride effects are still broken – but the effort is certainly there. I want to also commend the park’s merch selection as it took me a lot of self-restraint to buy only a couple of things.
A Minor Rant About Thorpe Park Guests
One thing that did not impress me with Thorpe was overall guest conduct. I think this is probably a consequence of visiting during school holidays, hence the park is packed with immature teens, but the standard of guest behaviour felt way worse than average for the UK. To give some examples:
The Stuff Not Called "Hyperia"
Of course, getting back to Thorpe meant the chance to get back on some of my favourite UK coasters. I basically just got one ride apiece on everything other than Ninferno due to the queues.
As well as Hyperia, there were two new (to me) refurbishments of old rides which I was interested to try. The Walking Dead The Ride was the first of these. I didn’t bother with this in 2018 or 2019 and I see why. The theme completely clashes with the tame ride experience, and I’ve never seen the show anyway. A clear downgrade on the fun but kitschy X. Womp womp.
Ghost Train was the other. I think this solidifies my view that Derren Brown’s Ghost Train has been probably the single largest disastrous investment in UK theme park history. After the Rise of the Demon update in 2017, DBGT was honestly quite an impressive if deeply unreliable attraction. It felt like a really cool idea held back by the limits to the realism offered by VR. Fast forward to 2024, and the VR is gone to little disappointment. However, the new plot feels a bit generic, the new middle show scene feels much weaker (where’s my beloved train on a stick?!), and the loss of the fake-out ride exit is a shame. It now feels like it’s flipped the opposite way: Ghost Train is a decent scare attraction which severely under-utilises the impressive technology and illusions remaining from DBGT. It’s a bit of a shame this one never worked out.
Hyperia - an excrutiatingly detailed review
And finally, the bit you’re actually interested in - Hyperia. I squeezed in 5 rides across the day, including a memorable double lap for last train of the day. The SRQ proved unreliable in offering a shorter queuing experience on the day of my visit, so beware of that.
Fearless Valley (still a silly name for the area) maintained a real buzz all day. Right now, the buildings and fencing look very shiny and new, there's a suitably melodramatic IMAscore soundtrack blaring, and the ride itself is a spectacle to watch. The gold and white colours really pop, and it's a nice change to see Merlin tackling less of a "doom and gloom" aesthetic.
The overall presentation of Hyperia does, however, feel like a few great opportunities were missed. Of course, the area still looks a little unfinished due to the sparse foliage and such, but I think that's a temporary problem. More importantly to me, it feels like a lot of the layout is fenced away when there would be great views and an opportunity to further leverage that intrinsic spectacle. I would have loved the chance to get more up close and personal with that first drop; queuing through this area would certainly be an upgrade on the mostly standard cattlepen we got. Wardley was onto something with the whole “for every person on the ride, five more can be watching it” stuff, though I appreciate the average guest will care a lot less about excessively tall fencing and impeded views.
Once you're batched and into the station, you're greeted with lighting fast operations and the ever-reliable modern Mack trains. I think these are the best sitdown trains in the business for freedom and comfort, alongside Intamin's. The lighting, smoke and music sequence on dispatch is a nice touch - the ride is doubtless more stylised than themed, but thought has clearly gone into little things like this.
The experience begins slowly with the outer banked turnaround, a nice offride moment which gets you acquainted with the amount of freedom you'll have. The subsequent climb up the lift hill is surprisingly panoramic, offering fantastic views on a clear day like the one I visited.
I have no qualms calling Hyperia’s first drop one of the best in the world. It’s much less of an “infinite drop” feeling than on, say, a B&M giga, but it’s super steep, full of weightlessness, and the rapid twist offers great laterals. Whilst I didn't get lucky enough to get row 1 during my visit, this feels like a drop best enjoyed at the back. The following immelmann-thing offers high intensity on the pull up, then floater airtime on the exit which gets more powerful and sustained towards the back of the train. The next valley sends you careening into an "outer banked hill with barrel roll downdrop" - my personal highlight of the ride. The outerbank feels incredibly exposed and offers powerful airtime, which then beautifully transitions into the strange and floaty downwards roll. These elements combined are yet another strong contender for my favourite inversion, up there with the likes of Zadra’s stall. On the subject of stalls, the subsequent dive loop again offers plenty of weightlessness. After this, Hyperia abruptly slams on the brakes - literally. The water splash trims (if the splash is even on - it wasn't during my visit) bleed quite a lot of speed and the slowdown is very noticeable. The final airtime moments still deliver thankfully, with the outer banked one being very good before you pop into the brakes.
Much like the coaster's surroundings, I think the ride experience itself is satisfying despite its shortcomings. That said, I will echo the point made by many others - I'd have loved to have seen just a couple more airtime moments to capitalise on the ride's momentum instead of wrapping things up so suddenly. Perhaps more realistically, considering the fact budget constraints appear to have been the major challenge in this project becoming a reality, I'd have preferred no trims and one last large element before a longer brake run. All of this criticism is quite nitpicky - I think it’s fair to say that Hyperia is the most impressive piece of ride hardware in the UK, and it's cracked my top 10. Despite this, it's frustrating for me to consider what Hyperia could have been like with just a handful of changes and a slightly more generous budget. It is so, so tantalisingly close to top 5 tier, but not quite on the mark.
Oh, and to weigh in on the “Hyperia has a rattle!!1” discourse: it's slightly present on the immelmann thing and the subsequent valley, but if you think it noticeably detracts from the experience you should probably find a new hobby.
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Well, that is an awful lot of words about a theme park many here have visited god knows how many times. So TLDR; I had a thoroughly decent time at Thorpe, which seems to be running much better than pre-pandemic. Let's hope it doesn't take another 5 years for me to make it back on Hyperia.
My last visit to Thorpe Park was in 2019 – needless to say, between a worldwide pandemic, a complete rebrand and a major coaster, a lot has changed since. Whilst I‘ve made some great memories there and think it’s now probably got the UK’s overall best coaster lineup, I don’t think I’ve ever felt quite as much affection for the place as Towers. On my previous visits I’ve found it a bit hit-or-miss operationally, especially regarding Fastrack overselling, and very much relied on special enthusiast events to have a good time.
The good news is that Thorpe feels markedly improved in 2024. I went on a sunny Summer Sunday (I hoped the Euros finals would suppress crowds, they did not) and never queued more than an hour. Operationally, the ride hosts were making a real effort to get people loaded quickly on popular rides, most notably on Hyperia and Nemesis Inferno, and the park seems to have put in extra announcements to help with that. Regarding the atmosphere, the refresh on Colossus and Big Easy Boulevard are noticeable upgrades, and the entire park feels more well-kept than it did in the past. Hopefully Nemesis Inferno is next on the list, as I think the track is overdue a lick of new paint. There’s been some misses of course – the “legalise aliens” posters at The Swarm both look cheap and confuse me, plus various ride effects are still broken – but the effort is certainly there. I want to also commend the park’s merch selection as it took me a lot of self-restraint to buy only a couple of things.
A Minor Rant About Thorpe Park Guests
One thing that did not impress me with Thorpe was overall guest conduct. I think this is probably a consequence of visiting during school holidays, hence the park is packed with immature teens, but the standard of guest behaviour felt way worse than average for the UK. To give some examples:
- In Saw SRQ the group of kids/teens immediately in front of me emphatically took the piss out of a deaf family who were having an animated discussion in sign language (one of their kids was scared of the ride and didn’t want to go)
- Again at Saw, a ride host practically had a shouting match with a large group of guests who were repeatedly ignoring batching instructions and giving her grief for not putting them all on the same train, despite the fact there were more than 8 of them
- After the Hyperia queue closed a different bunch of kids jumped the fences and had to be ejected by the staff
- A group of kids playfighting in the Colossus queue repeatedly shoved into me until I told them to pack it in and give me some space
- A kid in the Swarm queueline cut his leg somehow and it started bleeding. I gave him some tissues from my bag to stop the bleeding and clean himself up a bit, as his Dad didn’t have any; the Dad barely said “thank you” for what I thought was a kind gesture
The Stuff Not Called "Hyperia"
Of course, getting back to Thorpe meant the chance to get back on some of my favourite UK coasters. I basically just got one ride apiece on everything other than Ninferno due to the queues.
- Colossus: I remembered this being way worse than it is. I still don’t think it’s exactly fun because the restraints hurt my collarbone and the last 4 inversions feel like an endurance test. However, the first part of the ride is decent, with some nice intensity and fine tracking.
- Saw – The Ride: weirdly lacking character compared to what I recalled. The first drop is still solid, it was riding smoother than I remembered (and smoother than Takabisha more recently), but I found the main layout really unmemorable. Am I getting too jaded for this hobby?
- Nemesis Inferno: nope, I’m not. Inferno has grown on me a lot since I first rode it – everyone loves a good underdog story, and I think this ride punches above its weight. It pulls some surprising intensity without descending into pure nauseating ****ery (a la Black Mamba’s ending), it’s very well presented despite being basically unchanged since opening, and they still had back row open for non-RAP guests unlike the original. Shout-out to the nice host who let me get a second lap in an empty seat.
- Stealth: a very respectable one trick pony. It may be over before you know it, but that launch remains one of the best out there.
- Swarm: previously my favourite UK coaster (lol) has undergone something of a fall from grace. Whilst I still love the presentation of the ride – peak 2010s Merlin “doom and destruction” – the coaster itself was not delivering. Whilst it’s still good fun, it just feels like it’s lacking a bit of the bite to be truly memorable.
As well as Hyperia, there were two new (to me) refurbishments of old rides which I was interested to try. The Walking Dead The Ride was the first of these. I didn’t bother with this in 2018 or 2019 and I see why. The theme completely clashes with the tame ride experience, and I’ve never seen the show anyway. A clear downgrade on the fun but kitschy X. Womp womp.
Ghost Train was the other. I think this solidifies my view that Derren Brown’s Ghost Train has been probably the single largest disastrous investment in UK theme park history. After the Rise of the Demon update in 2017, DBGT was honestly quite an impressive if deeply unreliable attraction. It felt like a really cool idea held back by the limits to the realism offered by VR. Fast forward to 2024, and the VR is gone to little disappointment. However, the new plot feels a bit generic, the new middle show scene feels much weaker (where’s my beloved train on a stick?!), and the loss of the fake-out ride exit is a shame. It now feels like it’s flipped the opposite way: Ghost Train is a decent scare attraction which severely under-utilises the impressive technology and illusions remaining from DBGT. It’s a bit of a shame this one never worked out.
Hyperia - an excrutiatingly detailed review
And finally, the bit you’re actually interested in - Hyperia. I squeezed in 5 rides across the day, including a memorable double lap for last train of the day. The SRQ proved unreliable in offering a shorter queuing experience on the day of my visit, so beware of that.
Fearless Valley (still a silly name for the area) maintained a real buzz all day. Right now, the buildings and fencing look very shiny and new, there's a suitably melodramatic IMAscore soundtrack blaring, and the ride itself is a spectacle to watch. The gold and white colours really pop, and it's a nice change to see Merlin tackling less of a "doom and gloom" aesthetic.
The overall presentation of Hyperia does, however, feel like a few great opportunities were missed. Of course, the area still looks a little unfinished due to the sparse foliage and such, but I think that's a temporary problem. More importantly to me, it feels like a lot of the layout is fenced away when there would be great views and an opportunity to further leverage that intrinsic spectacle. I would have loved the chance to get more up close and personal with that first drop; queuing through this area would certainly be an upgrade on the mostly standard cattlepen we got. Wardley was onto something with the whole “for every person on the ride, five more can be watching it” stuff, though I appreciate the average guest will care a lot less about excessively tall fencing and impeded views.
Once you're batched and into the station, you're greeted with lighting fast operations and the ever-reliable modern Mack trains. I think these are the best sitdown trains in the business for freedom and comfort, alongside Intamin's. The lighting, smoke and music sequence on dispatch is a nice touch - the ride is doubtless more stylised than themed, but thought has clearly gone into little things like this.
The experience begins slowly with the outer banked turnaround, a nice offride moment which gets you acquainted with the amount of freedom you'll have. The subsequent climb up the lift hill is surprisingly panoramic, offering fantastic views on a clear day like the one I visited.
I have no qualms calling Hyperia’s first drop one of the best in the world. It’s much less of an “infinite drop” feeling than on, say, a B&M giga, but it’s super steep, full of weightlessness, and the rapid twist offers great laterals. Whilst I didn't get lucky enough to get row 1 during my visit, this feels like a drop best enjoyed at the back. The following immelmann-thing offers high intensity on the pull up, then floater airtime on the exit which gets more powerful and sustained towards the back of the train. The next valley sends you careening into an "outer banked hill with barrel roll downdrop" - my personal highlight of the ride. The outerbank feels incredibly exposed and offers powerful airtime, which then beautifully transitions into the strange and floaty downwards roll. These elements combined are yet another strong contender for my favourite inversion, up there with the likes of Zadra’s stall. On the subject of stalls, the subsequent dive loop again offers plenty of weightlessness. After this, Hyperia abruptly slams on the brakes - literally. The water splash trims (if the splash is even on - it wasn't during my visit) bleed quite a lot of speed and the slowdown is very noticeable. The final airtime moments still deliver thankfully, with the outer banked one being very good before you pop into the brakes.
Much like the coaster's surroundings, I think the ride experience itself is satisfying despite its shortcomings. That said, I will echo the point made by many others - I'd have loved to have seen just a couple more airtime moments to capitalise on the ride's momentum instead of wrapping things up so suddenly. Perhaps more realistically, considering the fact budget constraints appear to have been the major challenge in this project becoming a reality, I'd have preferred no trims and one last large element before a longer brake run. All of this criticism is quite nitpicky - I think it’s fair to say that Hyperia is the most impressive piece of ride hardware in the UK, and it's cracked my top 10. Despite this, it's frustrating for me to consider what Hyperia could have been like with just a handful of changes and a slightly more generous budget. It is so, so tantalisingly close to top 5 tier, but not quite on the mark.
Oh, and to weigh in on the “Hyperia has a rattle!!1” discourse: it's slightly present on the immelmann thing and the subsequent valley, but if you think it noticeably detracts from the experience you should probably find a new hobby.
----
Well, that is an awful lot of words about a theme park many here have visited god knows how many times. So TLDR; I had a thoroughly decent time at Thorpe, which seems to be running much better than pre-pandemic. Let's hope it doesn't take another 5 years for me to make it back on Hyperia.
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