Oslo & Tusenfryd

[Ian]

Because I think that you're all really interested in Jake, Ben, Vadge and my trip to Norway this weekend just gone, this report will cover the entire trip; Oslo sightseeing and the reason we went; Tusenfryd.

I took 191 photos, I think Vadge took 1, Jake about 5 and Ben about 15. Between us we should be able to write a half-decent report.

As with all my recent photos, they are "point & click" photos taken on an iPhone so if you're expecting crisp, well taken photos, don't bother to read my report

Part 1 - Arriving in Norway

The first thing we noticed when landing in Norway was the temperature. It's freezing. The drizzle didn't help either.

There was a long queue at passport control and we were unfortunate enough to be standing outside the airport for a good ten minutes. We froze. However, the airport has free wi-fi so at least we kept our fingers and thumbs warm.

We were spited by the buses leaving the airport for Oslo so we had to wait a bit longer to get on the way. Eventually a shuttle bus arrived and 10 minutes later we were at Rygge train station.

The train into Oslo was amazing. All carriages were better than First Class British carriages. Reclining seats with headrests, really clean and smooth. The 50 minute journey to Oslo Central flew by.

We faffed for a while trying to locate the hostel. Eventually we found it and whored the free wi-fi and warmed up until we could check in.

A slight palavor followed as we were not sure how many free beds there were in our room and who was where. We decided to deal with it later and explore Oslo instead.

Our hostel was a 10-15 minute walk to the central station so we headed back that way to the tourist information. We needed to find out how to get to the park tomorrow. With a map and instructions in hand we went off to explore the sights.

On the way we stopped in a supermarket for food. WOW! Oslo is an expensive city. A bottle of water is about £2.80 FFS! We then decided from then onwards that we'd live off McDonald's cheeseburger. They were £1.10 each - the cheapest food we could find. Plus they had free wi-fi.

Here's Jake sitting on a tiger statue.

Oslo was once referred to as the "City of Tigers." Why they felt the need to sculpt a cock and balls I don't know. However, in Part 3, you'll see that the Norwegians seem to have a thing for cock and balls.

We wondered off to The Oslo Opera House near central station.

It a very sterile looking building, all white and angular. It's like a load of Nintendo Wiis dumped on top of one another. What's great about it is you can wander all over the roof.

It's certainly something that would not be in the UK as it's a health & safety nightmare, particularly in the rain. There are sharp, raised angles sticking up all over the place. It's a pity it wasn't dry as it may have improved the views.

For some reason, Oslo was reminding me of Edinburgh and Glasgow. It has the ugly industrial, concrete look of Glasgow coupled with the gorgeous grandeur of Edinburgh. I couldn't make up my mind if I liked the place or not.

We consulted the tourist map and walked north. We found the "Stortinget", the parliament of Norway.

As one would expect, it's a grand looking building, although perhaps a little depressed looking in the rain, so here's a photo of Ben to brighten it up.

We walked further north and saw the Royal Palace. We were amazed how close you could get to it. Buckingham Palace is sealed off by huge walls and gates...I could have easily have spat on the front door if I wanted to....it's that much in the open.

I was heal and finger clicked at by a palace guard for wanting to sit on the "summer house" benches. LOL.

Here's the view His Maj, Harald V has from his window...why do all Palaces have that pink gravel outside?

I thought the building looked quite plain for a Palace. Being British, I'm "used" (in the loosest sense of the word of course) to grand palaces with interesting articutual features. The Royal Palace in Oslo looked a bit bland. Again, maybe it was the drizzle clouding my judgement.

Vadge's foot was hurting, it was getting dark and even more colder so we decided to head back.

We got slightly lost on the way, passing what we thought was a boat but ended up being a huge green stage thing. We sat on a tin foil statue in the middle of a roundabout as we found our bearings.

The evening ended with us in a pub, drinking £5.50 pints (well, 500 mls) and another McDonalds. We sorted out of earlier hostel problem and had a nightcap of "vod" before hitting the hay.

Still to come - More McDonalds, more expensive beer, late-night 7-11's, lots and lots of cock, Scary Man and Vod, dripping vadges, fags on a plane, and yes, the theme park!

 

[Nic]

We were spited by the buses leaving the airport for Oslo

That just made me LOL so much, the neighbours probably think I'm being murdered

 

[Tomatron]

Nice stuff so far.

Norway does like to rape your wallet wherever possible, but it recently got voted the best place in the world to live.

I love how all the Scandinavian countries (and a lot of mainland Europe) know that people can look after themselves and can be trusted not to be stupid (r.e. roof photo).

 

[Pokemaniac]

Too sad you saw Oslo in its ugliest coat - grey weather. At this time of the year (and any other, for that matter), it's also the usual weather there. Also, half of downtown is an underconstruction zone at the moment, just look at the "Barcode" buildings you photographed from the opera, and the mahoosive hole beside it.

The "City of tigers" thing is something one of our greatest poets said some hundred years back. It's not meant to be a compliment. Ironically, we take it as one.

the opera house is a H&S nightmare, oh yes. But no one complains. It's a roof, not a sidewalk. So be it if it's not accessible by wheelchair either.
Prices here are indeed high. But so are the wages, so to prevent economical screwup, it has to be that way. I guess it's bad for tourists, but it's the state of the country at the moment.

Looking forward to seeing more, and it's a shame I couldn't meet you.

 

[marc]

Great report so far looking forward to the rest.

I followed some of it on Twitter and Facebook over the weekend.

 

[nealbie]

Neal is not happy that it looked like fun.

Although he is happy for you guys

 

[tks]

It looks wet... and I LOVE JAKES COAT. <3

 

[furie]

Just so you don't feel disheartened, I am following this

Looks, pretty miserable so far, but I'm sure it can continue in that vein

Love the photos, did you borrow Mushroom's camera?

 

[Emmett]

Nice report Ian, great to see some other parts of Oslo. I only really got to see the park and the Opera House when I went. Went up and down it a few times.

Looking forward to seeing the Tusenfryd photos.

 

[Ian]

Just so you don't feel disheartened, I am following this

LOL, we had a similar discussion over the weekend; "Nobody comments on trip reports anymore." Hence why I'm making an effort with my trip reports this year and showing stuff outisde of the theme park but part of the overall trips.

I'll post the second part later today, the actual park visit, but only once there is a "buffer post" or two...I wouldn't want to double post would I? :wink:

Once I've posted my full report, I shall do a UC style "quote & comment" of the replies.

 

[marc]

^maybe its due to trip reports being done so well now that there is no need to comment

I do tend to comment on reports after I have read them all. I know how it feels not to get comments, I spent ages on a trip report from California and I got about 2 comments.

 

[furie]

I always comment on the good trip reports

I'm really looking forward to reading more

[edit]Marc, I did read your California report - if I didn't comment, it's just because I didn't really have anything to say other than "good report" :lol: I'm not into small talk like that (Cali doesn't appeal to me at all, I don't hold any interest in the place or the parks - so I couldn't really make engaging comments I AM interested in finding out about the bit of Norway I didn't see, and on the views of Tusenfryd, so I commented to egg Ian, vadge and co to post more to get to the bits I aminterested in).

To the point there I think :lol:

 

[nealbie]

Lack of comments shouldn't worry you. As trip recanting is the hottest topic of discussion at Lives :lol:

So as far as people are concerned, "Typing a response, blah. I shall converse with them when next we meet!"

 

[marc]

I can see your point there Furie

Anyway better not spam up more of this report.

Still looking forward to the next part

 

[Nic]

We arrived in Oslo central station, came outside and the first thing that greeted us was this

This was actually to set the tone for a surprisingly large amount of the weekend. Jake and I also got our first taste of how expensive the place is when we got charged £1.10 to use the bog in the station! After dropping our stuff off in the hostel, we spent the rest of the day wandering round the city, taking in the sights such as the palace, parliament and opera house. Eventually we decided it was too cold and wet to wander any more, so retreated to a pub.

One of these will set you back somewhere in the region of £5.50. Ouch. On the way back, we decided that food was in order. And so began the consumption of mountains and mountains of cheesburgers. At £1.10 each they're the only food in the whole country that is comparable to the prices in the UK, and therefore fairly reasonable. Guess who created this?

The next morning, we headed for Tusenfryd. A lovely lady gave us 2 free tickets (to go with Ian's pre-booked one). Consequently, the three of them buggered off and left me in the queue to take nice photos of Speed Monster

Due to me being rubbish, I didn't take that many pics. Here's a nice one of Super Splash

This is the one water ride that Vadge approves of, because you don't get even the slightest little bit wet. They even squeegy the seats before you get in! Why can't all rides be like that?

After that we headed back to "the smallest coaster in the world". Previously, we'd had a go at riding it. We all piled in the front 2 cars on the instruction of the ride op. It got halfway up the hill, then could go no further. She then noticed that one of the drive wheels was shredding itself, and there was oil pissing everywhere. Fair play to the park though because within half an hour they'd changed the wheel and it was up and running again - all this on the last day of the season! Can't see that happening over here anywhere. So yeah, we went back, pleaded with her to let us on and eventually agreed to ride one at a time.

As you can see, "credits" make Ben a VERY happy gay.
Next we went on the dragon bollocks which was rubbish

I then discovered one of the trolls that Norway is so famous for

Obviously we went on other stuff too, but Ian'll cover that. I'm just going to talk about my pictures.

When we got back into the city, it was time for dinner... yes, more cheeseburgers!

the next day, we walked forever to get to what quickly became dubbed "cock park". Unfortunately for the many cock lovers out there, I have no close-ups, so you'll have to make do with this shot from the entrance

To keep with the theme, the boys then acted like cocks on the play park (bonus points for spotting an Ian)

So yeah, that's all my pics. I had a great weekend, but I don't think I'll be rushing to get back to Norway any time soon. If I was to go again, I'd like to go out in the countryside more and explore some of the scenery, as unfortunately we didn't get a chance to see any of it. I liked the park. None of the rides were spectacular, but they were all enjoyable (with the exception of Loopen), and overall the park was a nice place to be. Once again though, what really made this trip was the company. After having spent the last 6 weekends with CFers, its going to feel very strange come friday night. Still, bring on GhosterForce!

PS. Jake and Ian, my diet is in full swing, I hope you realise what you're competing against!

 

[Ian]

Part 2 – Tusenfryd

I apologise in advance. There are over 60 photos for the park bit (making this the biggest part of the full report) so I understand if you skim read it, although you may miss some good bits

We were first up in our hostel room and first to leave. We did plan to have a McDonald’s breakfast but they weren’t open so we made do with a 7-11. This is where I discovered Calzones – a folded pizza.

We walked around central station looking for our bus stop but couldn’t find it so we asked a bus driver. Everybody in Norway that we encountered spoke perfect English (amazing in fact!) all except from this older bloke (and another chap, see part 3). He directed us to the stop “behind the hoose”, which we gathered meant a building. We found the stop, paid our 57 NOK each (£6.28) and made our way to the park.

On arrival, some kind girl gave us two free tickets! This spited me as I had brought mine online. Hey ho!

After a short walk up the hill, we had arrived at Norway’s premier theme park!

Our first stop was Thundercoaster, which prompted me to start singing the Thundercats theme tune and which character we’d like to bone. Anyway, here are some coaster shots.

We sat towards the back. LOL at the woman right at the back.

It’s a pretty standard woodie station.

I didn’t think that the coaster was anything special. In fact, I’ve not been mega impressed by a woodie (f’naar) since America ’07. Out of the two Vekoma woodies I’ve been on, Loup Garu at Walibi Belgium was better. I experienced little-to-no airtime, speed or thrill through the bumps and turns. Perhaps a ride later on in the day would improve my rating?

On Friday night, after drinking half a bottle of wine in the Lodge, I emailed the park to make sure we could get on the “smallest coaster in the world” – Teeny Weeny. They replied saying we could so that was the next “cred” to gain.

It was closed. It opened at 12, so we’d have to come back later and try our luck.

We then started the long walk over to Loopen, a Vekoma coaster.

It has two elements, a loop and a corkscrew.

We queued for about 10 minutes….

…the loop of death was getting closer….

…I was impressed by the ride op’s uniform…

…and eventually we took our seats.

I enjoyed Loopen more than Thundercoaster. It was brief and it was uneventful, but it had a certain charm to it. Perhaps being built next to a cliff face helped? I didn’t find it rough, although I did slam my neck at one point. Not a bad ride, just a bit below par.

We wanted to ride Speed Monster next but when we got in the queue, there was a breakdown so we went outside for a smoke (except Ben. Well, he went outside, but not to smoke).

This is something I did not like about Tusenfryd – the entire park is non-smoking. I appreciate that a smoker should not inflict his/her smoke on other people, so banning smoking in enclosed areas, in queue lines, by entrances/exits and kiddie areas is fine. Banning it throughout the entire park is utter extremism. The rides are situated in corners and there’s no central passage, so it’s a hell of a trek to go outside for a smoke. I know I shouldn’t smoke, but I do and I hate fascists telling me that I can’t smoke outside well away from people. Designated smoking areas are the way forward imo.

Enough ranting about Tusenfryd’s abysmal no-smoking policy, back to the report.

Sorry to take photos of drinks and signs (that’s a private joke for the CF mods ) but the vending machines were excellent!

And after getting a drink, we all had an

to get back inside the park for some more “credz.”

It was past 12, so we headed to Teeny Weeny as the park was filling with families.

I felt slightly embarrassed queuing for the coaster. I think I spent the queue looking at my feet! Eventually the most friendly and brilliant ride op in the world let us on!

In perfect English the op was laughing and said she was “sceptical that the ride would not make it up the lift hill.” Because of Pokemaniac, I knew that the Norwegians had a superb grasp of the English language, but Luca, the great ride op, was exceptional. She was laughing and talking just like we would, no “formal English like I’ve encountered in other foreign countries. It struck me at this point that the Norwegians have the same sense of humour us the Brits as well, which was also confirmed later that evening (wait for part 3!)

The ride started up and it moved just a few feet forward.

Then it stopped! No roll back, it just stopped! Then it rolled back. The coaster train moves up the lift hill using several small wheels. We could smell what smelt like burning wood – one of the wheels was being shaved away by the train!

Yes, we had broken it! Luca, the op who I found increasing attractive the more she laughed, shut the ride and called an engineer…still laughing! Us four walked away sheepishly, trying to avoid the glares of parents.

Ben and Jake said they were going to count it, regardless if we couldn’t back on it later. After all, we had moved a few feet :roll: We had a slight discussion about bull5hitting our coaster count, but apparently none of us never have done angel4

The sunshine was bright – although it was cold – so we headed towards the Mack water coaster, SuperSplash.

Again, this ride was tucked away down in a deep corner of the park, not easily accessible and seemed out of the way. There’s plenty of space around here for a designated smoking area! :wink:

Cool dragon thing. Shame about the mince!

Excellent theming around this area. I love the expression of this dragon!

So it’s a water coaster, a bit like a shoot-the chute ride. It has a slight dip at the top of the lift hill, a drop…

…that goes into a tunnel…

…and then splashes.

The ride was walk on and the ride ops wipe down the seats after each ride in an efficient yet comedy water-wiping manner. We didn’t get wet, or even slightly moist. It just went splash and that was it. Again, nothing at Tusenfryd had really blown me away yet. In a theme park starved country like Norway, I’m sure that it’s a pretty good ride, to an enthusiast with 75 parks under his belt, it was just another ride.

As we had to walk past it, we tried our luck on Teeny Weeny again. Full credit to the engineers at Tusenfryd – they had replaced the damaged wheel and the coaster was up and running again!

Luca laughed again when she saw us in the queue and told us that we can’t ride it. We begged, she laughed and let us on one at a time I went first.

Then Jake had a go.

Followed by Ben.

And finally Vadge.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtifSNeGAM0[/youtube]

We thanked Luca loads and said goodbye to the little coaster. Ahh, bless.

We headed up the hill beside it to another out-of the-way area to our penultimate “cred” – the Dragon coaster.

The Dragon has a 5hitty arse. Perhaps it too can’t afford proper food in Norway and lives off McDonalds?

The Dragon coaster had a really slow throughput, made worse by a gash queue line where kids were misbehaving and knocking into us. There were also a few chavs sitting on the fence!

Vadge and her hard, yet floppy, dong.

We queued a little bit more. Unruly kids really pissing us off by now.

After 15 mins, we were on this powered ride of mehness.

We considered doing the space shot next but the queue was too long (just like the food queues, which would have been a nightmare if we could have afforded it anyway!), so we skipped it.

How many different fruits can you count in this photo? I make it six…

Spin Spider, the big swingy thing where you sit on the outside, was next. HUGE queue but that’s because they give the riders a decent cycle! If this was in the UK and the queue was this big, you would only expect 1 full swing – not seven!

Not being a spin & spew man, I sat it out. I went for another smoke and got some ice cream. I needed sugar.

Vadge, Ben and Jake took their seats…

…the floor went down…

…and it started to swing.

High.

Higher, baby!

****ING HELL! MEGA HIGH!

From the way that V, B and J spoke after the ride, I think they enjoyed it. Vadge seemed a little disappointed (and cold) but a thumbs-up I think.

Our final coaster was Speed Monster, this time up and running!

It’s a launch coaster – similar speed to Rita at Alton, apparently. So it has a launch…

…then the Norwegian loop (see the first photo of this part!), then a helix, some twisty track…

…a small drop…

…and a corkscrew near the end.

I thought that the launch felt weak but the Norwegian loop was ace. Two things I like the most about a good roller coaster are disorientation and speed. The Norwegian loop had both of these but I felt that the rest of the ride was somewhat forceless and predictable. Jake, Ben and I agreed that Rita was better, although Vadge really liked Speed Monster or Vadge Muncher, or Speed Muncher, or Vadge Monster and whatever else we called it throughout the day.

It was nearing park close so we went for one last ride on Thundercoaster.

The ride has improved since first thing in the morning. It was behaving like a woodie should do and felt faster. I still wasn’t overly thrilled, but it was a “nice” experience.

Tusenfryd is geared more towards the family than the thrill seeker, but there is enough there to keep everybody entertained for a day. Regardless of the cost of things to us Brits, it is a park that I’m glad to have visited but I’m not in any hurry to rush back to. Where the park lacks competition from other parks in Norway, there’s no reason for it to change its style.

The layout, positioning of the rides, the blanket smoking ban and lack of anything totally amazing work against the park in my eyes. It’s a park that would be best enjoyed by somebody with a lower park count and/or a young family.

In all, Tusenfryd, is an average park but with a great atmosphere. I’m glad to have shared it with some mates, rather than on my own as I would have probably been bored 5hitless.

Hungry, cold, knackered after covering lots of ground and with that warm feeling of six new credits, we caught the bus.

And another night and day in Oslo beckoned…

Still to come – Handbag lady, polite beggars, snoring competitions, slide of death, cosmopolitan cafes, trams, more McDonalds and loads and loads of cock!

 

[Pokemaniac]

Vigelandsparken? Tons of naked statues, many of which appear regulary on "WTF-statues" lists all over the Internet, all centered around a huge phallus. Apparently, Vigeland made the statues naked because "Clothes get outdated, but the human body doesn't". I suspect he did it just for the giggles.

Not much else to comment on, really, but I'm glad the weather was on your side that day. Looking forward to seeing more.

 

[peep]

Ha, wicked PTRs.

The cheeseburger wrappers on the table are cool all laid out like that.

Also, Vadge, is Ian on the swing in the background in the last pic?

Oh, just noticed Ian posted his second part just as I clicked to make this post, this will require an edit....

EDIT: Nice PTR Ian!

Looks like quite a nice little park and that you guys had a fun time there, looking forward to your last PTR from the trip.

 

[Stone Cold]

I see the Martyn H fan club has arrived.


Ok, a question I'm dying to ask, if you all stayed so dry on Supersplash, why did the seats need squeegying? My recollection is that you did get wet, but it was fairly tame considering the size of the splash.


Also, Thundercoaster must have been having an off day, because the ride is incredible, possibly the best European woodie out there apart from the Nash.

 

[Jake]

I only took photos on the Last day, where we went to the cock-park.



The city looked a lot nicer in the sun, although it was still very cold.

Palace and army-ness:

So we arrive at the statue park

greeted by COCK

COCK

and more... COCK!

There was also a huge fountain, that wasn't on, and more cock, but this time in trees.

Not to mention the gates and the giant cock of nakedness:

... spot the two guys shagging.

This tower was awsome.

Weird baby orgy...

After this we headed back into the city, by which point it had got a bit cloudy.

Had McDonalds (of course!), then went to the station:

...and got on the train back to the airport.

Fab trip, Fab company, not-so-fab-coasters, Fab weekend!

So yeah... fab!