Worst Cred Run Ever - A little tour of the UK trying to pick up creds

[EmmaUK]

This is a post, and probably a thread, about my little cred run around Britain, sweeping up those little parks I’ve never had the pleasure (?!?) of visiting before. The team: Me, and my 8 year old daughter, Millie.

We were meant to be doing a tour from Ohio through to Virginia. At this exact moment I should have been checking into Hotel Breakers following on from a long day at Kings Island. Instead I’m in some random 3* in Great Yarmouth. Instead of Hersheypark, Six Flags Great Adventure and Knoebels, it’ll be Pleasurewood Hills, Brean Leisure Park and Adventure Island.

Day 1: Flamingo Land

Traffic outside of Flamingo Land meant that I arrived 10 minutes after opening, and I was instantly struck by how well themed Flamingo Land was. At least, it would be if that theme was Fresh Kills. You know that old story about Walt Disney sitting there and noticing that people would walk 30 steps before throwing away rubbish, so he put bins 30 steps apart to stop people littering? Had he done the exercise at Flamingo Land you wouldn’t be able to walk more than 3 abreast at Disneyland before bumping into a bin. The park is filthy. And its clear it has been for a while. Old cups can be seen in the lake in the queue for the pirate ship. Underneath Cliff Hanger was disgusting.

Anyway, understanding it was popular and had limited capacity we went straight to Mumbo Jumbo. I say straight there. It’s not the easiest park to navigate. I think the kind way of saying it is it grew organically. It has no flow and doesn’t make sense. Seeing what looked like an okay queue for Mumbo Jumbo we queued for 50 minutes and then reached… the one hour wait sign. The queue was so long and so slow. Noting that each train carried 4 I timed it. A dispatch every 90 seconds. Assuming each car was filled with 4 people (which didn’t always happen) that’s a mammoth hourly rate of 160 people per hour. As a great deal of capacity was also given to people who had bought queue jumpers, it took us nearly 2 hours to get on it. No idea why they would only dispatch one car when the other had arrived back in the station. This is a ride with a chain lift and 2 midcourse break runs. Finally getting one to Mumbo Jumbo we were shocked to find…. It was actually quite good. Controversial opinion, I think it may be UK Top 10.

We followed this up with a 45 minute for Kumali…before it broke down. We went to Hero. It had a worse queue and slower operations than Mumbo Jumbo. Velocity. Closed for the day apparently. Kiddy coasters. Most didn’t open until 2 and my 8 year old, who at first wanted to get all 9 credits, decided that she no longer wanted to go on kiddy rides. Or Hero because it looked like it hurt.

We circled back to Kumali via the Pirate Ship (side note – pirate ships should have an age warning – I simply cannot cope with these anymore).

Kumali’s massive queue wasn’t helped by 5 minute dispatches (seriously Flamingo Land, I get that you want to get more money from queue jumper passes – but by having people queue up the exit, it means that you cant allocate seat rows until after everyone is off, slowing everything down. Although cynically, maybe that is the idea to drive purchase of VIP passes). Well over 90 minutes later, Millie loved Kumali, whereas for me it meh. Very meh. Like its an SLC. Maybe it was I was still feeling ill from the pirate ship, but it wasn’t great.

After Cliff Hanger, a decent enough ride, and with 5pm close upon us, we headed towards the Hero queue to brave it, to see, against all odds, Velocity running. Joining the queue and praying that Millie was tall enough (she was – just!). Being passed by dozens of people all “meeting someone up ahead” (seriously Flamingo Land – sort the queue jumping out). Going through the painfully slow queue as all of the actually paid for queue jumpers had first goes, we finally got on (it was noticeable how dispatches sped up when they weren't taking some from the normal queue, some from the "VIP" queue). As for Velocity? It was really rather good. Again, possibly UK Top 10 for me.

So our final scores for day 1:

Possible credits: 9

Gained credits: 3

Day 2: Ingoldmells and Great Yarmouth

So the plan was that I would pick Millie up from my daughters, go to Ingoldmells, maybe even 4 creds from Skegness, before heading down to Great Yarmouth to get quick rides at Joyland and the Pleasure Beach.

Well. I didn’t want to leave my girlfriend early. So change of plan, skip Ingoldmells. Will have to do that in the future. Straight to great Yarmouth then.

Only to find the Pleasure Beach already closed when we arrived, and Millie decided / refused to go into Joyland as it “looked like it was for babies”. Note to self – pick a better partner for cred runs in future.

So one game of mini golf later it was:

Possible credits: 15 (I already have one from Great Yarmouth from when I was very young)

Gained credits: Nil

So tomorrow. Probably heading to Pleasurewood Hills then Southend Adventure Island. 8 possible new creds for me (I have one from Pleasurewood Hills from very young). Or, more likely, nil. Who knows.

 

[Will]

Definitely room for improvement - for a serious cred run, you need a 'credule' like the below and to stick to it

On a serious note, obviously you're not alone - I've now postponed both my US trip AND my Belgium trip twice but hoping to get up to 20 (mainly rubbish) domestic coasters this year. Shame to hear Flamingoland seems to be getting worse by the week - it never had my favourite ride line-up but the reviews at the moment are about as favourable as they are of Oakwood

Having said that, with how hard it still is to get away, UK parks are probably even busier than they usual are in August, so I'll most likely be waiting for schools to go back before I make my return.

 

[EmmaUK]

Definitely room for improvement - for a serious cred run, you need a 'credule' like the below and to stick to it
View attachment 13073
On a serious note, obviously you're not alone - I've now postponed both my US trip AND my Belgium trip twice but hoping to get up to 20 (mainly rubbish) domestic coasters this year. Shame to hear Flamingoland seems to be getting worse by the week - it never had my favourite ride line-up but the reviews at the moment are about as favourable as they are of Oakwood

Having said that, with how hard it still is to get away, UK parks are probably even busier than they usual are in August, so I'll most likely be waiting for schools to go back before I make my return.

That's impressive work!

Sadly, and because I'm obviously glutton for punishment, I'm due to end at Oakwood. Although I've not booked tickets yet because that's an admission that I have to go and, as you say, with every day I'm hearing worse and worse things! I think secretly there's part of me that hopes when I finally come to book the tickets I get the "sorry, all sold out message"

 

[EmmaUK]

Day 3 Pleasurewood Hills and Adventure Island

So day 3 started with a lovely trip to Pleasurewood Hills. And what a lovely park it is. Sure it caters mainly for the younger crowd. But that just means that its Vekoma Boomerang, Missile Wipeout, had next to no queue. And sure its family coasters, the wild mouse Marble Madness and the good old Jet Star, Cannonball Express, had longer queues than they really deserved, but whilst watching the sealine show I was struck with how much I was enjoying it there.

Possible credits: 3 (I already have one from when I was very young)

Gained credits: 3

Pleasurewood Hills? Completed it mate

The real surprise was in Adventure Island. Arriving at nearly 7pm to half price wristbands (£12.50 each) the park was amazing. Filled with the best amusement park staff I have ever seen (happy, jovial – just amazing) and a ride line up that was really rather good. Sure Rage was the best Coaster, but I can imagine many people skip the park as it has a not massively exciting Gerstlauer and 4 family rides. That would be a big mistake!

Sure Rage won’t win any prizes, but those family coasters have bite. Green Scream with probably the longest trains in the UK (??) was much better than it looks with some real whip in the corners. Barnstormer looked so tame, but actually picked up enough speed to have real G forces in the helix – I genuinely couldn’t believe what I was feeling. This was a park that I nearly missed off and only included it as it seemed an easy +5. But in fairness it was a good +5.

Possible credits: 5

Gained credits: 5

Tomorrow: Chessington World of Adventure

 

[caffeine_demon]

"my 8 year old, who at first wanted to get all 9 credits, decided that she no longer wanted to go on kiddy rides. Or Hero because it looked like it hurt."

She's not wrong, hero is pretty awful!

 

[EmmaUK]

Day 4

Chessington World of Adventures

Or at least half a day. Because when I came to book the tickets were from 2pm.

Which would be fine until you arrive there with a full house of 100 minute plus waits.

I can't help but think that somewhere in there there is a decent park, but the sheer weight of numbers just hid it.

First up - an hour plus wait for Vampire. Which is good. Actually for an intermediate style ride its bloody good. Shades of it being a junior Nemesis. Probably among the best themed rides in the Country, and certainly its setting, through the trees, is excellent. Despite hitting it again at closing, the sun was still up, but I assume this would be an awesome night ride. Is it ever open after dark?

Next up - Scorpion Express. Which was poor. In my opinion really poor. The most boring coaster I've done in a long time. I just can't see any redeeming features.

Then Dragons Fury. Which was again surprisingly good. Certainly my number one spinner (although competition: Spinball Whizzer, Primevil Whirl and Galaxy Spin, so its hardly like asking what's your favourite Beatles Song) and my biggest surprise of the day.

And finally to complete the set over to Rattlesnake and.... WTF Merlin. 140cm. Its only a bloody Wild Mouse. Doesn't need 140cm. Pleasurewood Hills basically the same ride days before 125cm limit.

And Croc drop. Meh. good for the kids I suppose as a first drop tower but completely forceless. And Tomb Blaster. Yeah, probably the best shooter ride I've been on. Better than Buzz Lightyear or Men in Black.

But overall. Those queues. Wow. Even fast pass was 20 minutes plus. I can't help but think, like Alton Towers, that the use of fast pass is what creates the need to purchase fast pass. But for the queue jumping element, waits would be so much lower.

So Possible Credits: 4

Gained Credits: 3

I wouldn't bother going back to Chessington to get that last cred. It'd need to be something like, I don't know, a B&M Wing Coaster or something to persuade me to return.

 

[EmmaUK]

Day 5 and its off to Florida, or at least it must be as I'm sure that I saw Peppa Pig Land and we know from the advertisements that the Florida one is first in the world! Of course we went to Paulton's Park. Arriving nearly an hour after opening thanks to 2 lanes of the M25 being shut we were struck by how well organised and what a nice park this is. Everyone seemed so cheery and friendly. It was immaculately clean with surprising green credentials.

Coaster 1 was Flight of the Hippogriff Pterosaur. And yeah it was good. Some surprising forces on there for a family coaster with the final helix seeming to produce a few Gs. Kind of paled when considered against Vampire done just a couple of days before and similar in stature and scope. But a decent enough start.

On to Coaster 2. Velociraptor. Again a good solid family coaster. Fairly forceless to be honest and one where my daughter was more impressed than me.

Coaster 3. A little zierer Dino Chase, with the most surprising little pop of airtime. It actually ejected me from my seat.

And it was around now that we realised. We’d been in the park around 45 minutes. The car park was packed. Plenty of people around. But queues minimal. Now sure, Peppa Pig was dragging many families the other way, and yeah operations were decent enough, but its amazing what the lack of a VIP / paid queue jumper can do to general queue times and throughput (there is a VIP pass, but its totally extortionate and almost no one touches it). And whether it’s the type of people that go there but there seemed much less of the one person saving a space in the queue and 15 others coming and joining them.

Anyway, onto Cobra. Which was a weird wild mouse but not wild mouse combo thing. And yeah I really liked it. Decent airtime towards the end, the tight turns of the wild mouse section good fun, and just a really good laugh. Things were going well.

Picking up a couple of flat rides we headed over to Radiator Tornado Springs. What an amazing themed land. All of the park had lovely theming (well, expect over near Cobra) but this is something special. Probably the best themed area in the UK. Beautiful little touches everywhere. And Storm Chaser, which probably has the biggest negative in that its not THE Storm Chaser. I mean its decent enough and all that. But its not RMC!

Another flat ride next, the Cyclonator. Which has no place at all in a child’s theme park. With children as young as 6 going on it! That thing is brutal. I needed a sit down afterwards.

Over to Cat-o-Pillar coaster.

And then the unexpected. Despite advertised closing time of 5.30, they put up boards to say that they were staying open to 6.30. Whaaaaatttt! After rerides on everything good, we headed over the Tornado Springs to see the shiny new toy of Storm Chaser had a 0 minute wait. So 4 quick goes on that to make myself feel ill it was off to the hotel for probably my final day (having decided I cant be bothered with Oakwood).

What an amazing park. As Millie said “It needs a coaster that goes upside down” and although I’m not of the thought that inversions are everything, she is right. Velociraptor, Pterosaur and Storm Chaser all feel like they’re about to then don’t. That said, I’m not sure I’ll be back for a long time. I cant see my girlfriend and me going, and my daughter next year will be tall enough for Thorpe Park / Alton towers rides. But if you’re the owner of a 6/7 year old, 120cm tall, what they can do at this park is so much more than anywhere else out there.

So Possible Credits: 6

Gained Credits: 6

 

[EmmaUK]

So Day 6 and off to Brean Theme (Ha! In a full on Edna Krabappel voice Ha!) Park. I mean theme park. Come on. It’s a travelling fair that doesn’t travel.

Best part of £25 of a wristband is anything but good value, and on arrival to pick up the wristbands I was told that Crazy Loop wouldn’t be open until later in the day (even though behind her I could literally see it running, in a scene reminiscent of Comical Ali with the tanks in the background) and that the Crazy Mouse ride would not be open all day (I choose to believe that rather than not knowing the names of the rides in the park that she worked, she instead chose to call it Crazy Mouse as its less crap than its actual name). This was followed by “is that ok?”. I’m not sure what would have happened if I said No. As anyone who has been there knows the awful roads on the approach, I was determined to make the best of a bad job.

Heading over to Crazy Loop and not expecting much, I was still disappointed as it went far below the standard I was expecting. I can only assume that the track was delivered to the park in straight sections and banged to shape with a hammer. I mean the loop itself was fine, but the drops, dear god they were bad. I genuinely feared for my back. Its only redeeming feature was that I was amused by the fact that it was so rubbish that the operator had to push the cars along the loading platform.

The caterpillar, a standard wacky worm which RCBD optimistically categorises as family rather than kiddie. And it was bad. Although it did make me chuckle that the train couldn’t make the 2 circuits without the operator pushing it at the end of the 1st circuit.

Astro Storm was ok I suppose. No Space Mountain. Or Black Hole (formerly of Alton Towers, peace be with it). But at least it was slightly exciting and didn’t try to kill me.

Crazy / Mighty mouse wasn’t in fact open. She was right on that.

Heading over to the ghost train, a standard pretzel type ghost train not unlike the one in Blackpool from the outside, but inside really rather good. Quite creepy and genuinely had me slightly on edge. But it started an argument between Millie and I. “Why isn’t that counted as a coaster? It runs down freely and goes back up again”. Apparently “because its not counted on RCDB” wasn’t a good answer. Leading to an existential crisis as to me reassessing what is a coaster. And returning to allowing RCBD to answer it for me.

A couple of nausea inducing spinning rides was it for me.

So Possible Credits: 4

Gained Credits: 3

And you know what. I don’t care. I could be on 999 creds, with this as the only cred I don’t have in the UK and being told that I cant travel abroad and I’d still give it a miss rather than go back there.