silenthillXD
Hyper Poster
For the last couple of years I’ve really started to neglect my coaster count. I mean you know it’s bad when your most notable new cred in 2022 was Turbo at Brighton Pier… Yes, I know, shame on me. The thing is prior to this year my cred count consists mostly of coasters from the UK (groundbreaking I know), Disneyland Paris (basic), Gardaland (would be interesting if it weren’t for the fact the only cred I have there is Ortobrucco Tour - Don’t ask… it’s embarrassing) and Florida (circa 2018 so sadly no Iron Gwazi, Hagrids or Velocicoaster) so ultimately my cred count was looking pretty anemic when it comes to world class coasters. Poor Mako and Montu were pretty much holding up the fort solo on that one (although I much prefer Mine Blower because I’m apparently a masochist). So yeah, needless to say a European cred haul has been in the works for some time. This year was finally the time when stars aligned and I got to visit three different European parks across France and Belgium (no prizes for guessing which three parks).
Parc Asterix - Monday 26th June
My trip started on the outskirts of Paris with my first visit to Parc Asterix. After years of building up the hype for Toutatis, this was the clear launching point for the trip in my eyes. As we drove up to the park I was pretty shocked how compact the park looked from the outside, alongside how humongous Oziris looked next to the road. Upon entering I immediately fell in love with the old school kitsch charm of the theming. The main entrance has definitely aged, but in a charming almost nostalgic way (despite not having ever visited the park before). Having Asterix looking down from his mountain was a cute addition that really created a nice entrance point to the park.
The crowds built up quite quickly and it soon became apparent this wasn’t going to be the quiet day we’d hoped for. In fact, the whole rope drop cluster became quite claustrophobic and unpleasant given the space you were limited to waiting within. However, it wasn’t long before we were sprinting over to Toutatis (because of course that was where we decided to start).
The new Festival Toutatis area is breathtakingly beautiful. I loved how it maintained the comic book aesthetic whilst featuring immersive and detailed theming setpieces. The creative team at Parc Asterix deserve a raise (although I'm genuinely upset at the lack of Golden Pig merchandise). The queue for Toutatis itself is extremely well integrated into the area with some comedic wooden carvings and a layout that gives you some nice sneak peeks into what you’re about to experience. Thankfully things only get better once you’re in the station, which appears as a grassy tribal mound from the outside, but is a dark and magical cavern inside. It has to be one of my favorite ride stations of all time. No critiques here, just heaps of praise.
So, given I haven’t ridden an Intamin Multilaunch prior to Toutatis (it’s probably for the best we forget Cheetah Hunt doesn’t exist) I was pretty curious to see how it would ride. Almost immediately I was beaming from ear to ear. The initial launch was punchy and the cutback element had some nice whip and hangtime to it. Before I knew it I was being flung down into the launch pit and being bounced backwards and forwards on the swing launch section. The launches are again pretty powerful and gave some great airtime whilst hopping over the hill. There were also some nice moments of floater on the top hat and spike. Unfortunately, the break on the other side of the top hat limits the impact of the following drop, but it’s still fun enough. I just feel the ride would be significantly better without the trims.
The next section out in the woods was pretty spectacular. Having never done a zero g stall I didn’t know what to expect. The sensation this element provided was pure refined hangtime meets airtime. It was delectable. The airtime hills were intense, but I did expect slightly more from the outwards banked hill. One section which really caught me off guard was the final inversion… It’s sharp and whippy, but with the freedom the lap bars give you it feels really enjoyable.
Overall I fell in love instantly. Whilst I felt it was a little short and that some elements didn’t quite hit as hard as they could, there was no doubt it was my new no 1 (sorry Mine Blower, you’ve served me well as a niche no 1 credit but I guess i’m a basic Intamin fanboy now).
After finishing with Toutatis we ended up succumbing to the Filomatix fastpass system as the park was horrendously busy. Our second ride of the day was Trace du Hourra, the Mack Bobsled coaster. Being a fan of Avalanche at Blackpool I was looking forward to this cred. Unfortunately, the ride op stapled me to the most severe degree that this ride became torturous. Despite having my stomach crushed by the restraints the whole way through the layout I couldn’t help but appreciate the layout of this ride. It’s incredibly long (which probably wasn’t the best given my predicament), but it was well paced and felt out of control and zippy throughout. It had some nice swing around the corners and genuinely provided an all around great experience. It’s just a shame the ride op tried to murder me… Oh well, I guess you can’t win them all.
We then decided to tackle the two major water rides of the park, Menhir Express and Le Grand Splatch. As we got to the boarding station for Menhir I was filled with instant regret. The people leaving the boats were drenched from head to toe. Now I’m not adverse to getting wet on rides, but this was far more than I'd expected from a log flume. Needless to say I set off on the flume with a sense of trepidation. The reason for this wetness soon became very clear as the water was incredibly choppy, often splashing up into the boats even when no drops were present. What about during the drops I hear you ask? Well, it wasn’t quite Valhalla levels of wetness, but it was closer than I’d ever expected to get on a simple log flume. Thankfully, both drops were pretty great, with the hidden bunny hop drop being quite a nice surprise. I came off Menhir loving the ride, the choppiness of the water made it stand out amongst other flume rides and give it a strong personality (and an obscene level of wetness too).
Speaking of obscene levels of wetness, it’s time to talk about Le Grand Splatch. Oh dear. Oh dear indeed. This ride is an absolute must on any visit to Asterix. It’s an absolute soaker, drowning you within seconds of leaving the lift hill. I must say I was a little disappointed in some aspects of the ride. Being set within the mountain Asterix sits on at the head of the park, I was expecting more theming (well to be honest ANY theming). But I guess I can’t complain when the theming budget seemingly got spent on a platoon of dangerously powerful water jets and fountains that were aimed at the boat. There’s no doubt about it, this ride is unpredictable. You never quite know who is going to get hit next or how powerful the water jet will be. My advice would be to avoid sitting on the right hand side. Sadly, the main drop doesn’t pack much of an impact and the ride ends on a bit of a tepid note. However, it was still one of the funniest moments of the entire trip. Me and my friends were in hysterics the whole way around. Well, at least I was given that I missed the brunt of the fountains. I’m not sure the same can be said from my friends on the right of the boat…
We decided the best way to dry off would be to get a ride in on OzIris. Walking into the plaza I was pretty awestruck. The theming in this area is second to none and I didn’t even get to go through the main queue line. Why can’t more parks put an effort into creating a beautiful area rather than plonking down a single theming element and calling it a day? The ride itself was an interesting one. My first ride was extremely rough. There was an obscene and constant rattle throughout the entire ride. Something I'd never experienced from a B&M before. However, my second ride later on in the day was glass smooth. Whatever the cause of this was, it needs to be sorted because no ride should be that bad. Thankfully the layout is sublime. The initial drop is huge and packs some great airtime and whip towards the back of the train. The following inversions feel like a chaotic whirlwind of elements that never let up. The zero g’s were a particular highlight and probably come the closest to delivering a true zero gravity sensation that any zero g roll has ever come. The pacing was relentless and despite hearing some people claim the latter half dies, I felt everything hit with a nice flow and level of whip. It’s an invert that puts Inferno and Nemesis to shame, although in my opinion is just below Montu when compared to other inverts.
After Oziris we moved onto L'Oxygénarium. I’m not the biggest fan of Storm Surge so I went into this with low expectations, however I really enjoyed this ride. It’s definitely faster paced and the setting and theming make it quite aesthetically pleasing. It’s not the most thrilling experience at the park but it’s good fun and gets you spinning quite a bit!
We then stopped for lunch at Le Cirque which is easily one of the best themed restaurants i’ve been to outside of Disney. I loved the attention to detail with circus trailers, massive animal cages you could eat in and massive hanging posters showcasing the circus acts. Oh and the food was pretty darned good too! Lots of variety and seemingly better quality than most normal theme park food.
Now for the most infamous ride at Asterix! I was kinda dreading Goudurix, even moreso when I found out I’d be sitting towards the back. Honestly? It wasn’t all that bad. Don’t get me wrong, the tracking of this ride is atrocious, but I wasn’t in too much pain and my head didn’t get battered around. I expected a lot worse and came off being pleasantly surprised. The inversions are somewhat fun, albeit extremely janky and the setting is beautiful above the water. Would I ride again? Absolutely! Would I wait the 40 minute queue it ended up with? Hell no.
Now i’m quite a big woodie fan, so I had high expectations for Tonnerre 2 Zeus (especially given Mine Blower had just been dethroned by Toutatis). I opted to do the backwards row on both my rides, so sadly I can’t comment on how good the forward facing experience is. No bother though, because backwards Zeus is quite frankly ridiculous. You haul through the layout and there’s nothing quite as terrifying as getting lurched down the drop backwards without any warning. The airtime is sublime. Sadly I would say the airtime in the rest of the layout isn’t quite as strong as I was hoping. It’s there and it’s fun, but it’s not the extreme ejector I got from Mine Blower back in 2018. That being said, I rank this ride really high. The chaotic nature of riding it backwards really elevated it to a whole new level.
We then completed the cred list (well minus kiddie creds because I have some self respect) with Pégase Express. Honestly, what were Gerstlauer thinking?! This ride is certainly more powerful than I’d expect for a family thrill coaster. It’s a really nice midpoint between family and full on thrill. The launches had a good impact (more intense than some thrill coasters * cough * Icon * cough *) and the hills and turns were nice and swoopy. I particularly appreciated the themed show scene that has an unexpected water effect that certainly didn’t make me scream upon impact. That would be embarrassing if it happened. Thankfully that DEFINITELY didn’t happen. But yeah, great ride for upcoming thrill seekers with some nice theming. It’s a real shame we don’t have one of these in the UK. I’m hoping Paultons gets one eventually.
We rounded the day out on the rapids which were pretty standard, then completed some re-rides on Toutatis, Oziris and Zeus. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to do everything I wanted, but it was heaving so that was pretty impossible to achieve. I genuinely loved the park. The theming is brilliant. The older sections of the park have a real charm to them and the new sections are just up there with some of the best theming in parks outside of Universal/Disney. The ride lineup is stellar and there’s honestly not much room for improvement here. I just wish we’d gone on a quieter day. Thankfully the ops at this park were beyond belief and incredibly fluid. It really makes you question how we don’t have a park of this level in the UK.
Parc Asterix - Monday 26th June
My trip started on the outskirts of Paris with my first visit to Parc Asterix. After years of building up the hype for Toutatis, this was the clear launching point for the trip in my eyes. As we drove up to the park I was pretty shocked how compact the park looked from the outside, alongside how humongous Oziris looked next to the road. Upon entering I immediately fell in love with the old school kitsch charm of the theming. The main entrance has definitely aged, but in a charming almost nostalgic way (despite not having ever visited the park before). Having Asterix looking down from his mountain was a cute addition that really created a nice entrance point to the park.
The crowds built up quite quickly and it soon became apparent this wasn’t going to be the quiet day we’d hoped for. In fact, the whole rope drop cluster became quite claustrophobic and unpleasant given the space you were limited to waiting within. However, it wasn’t long before we were sprinting over to Toutatis (because of course that was where we decided to start).
The new Festival Toutatis area is breathtakingly beautiful. I loved how it maintained the comic book aesthetic whilst featuring immersive and detailed theming setpieces. The creative team at Parc Asterix deserve a raise (although I'm genuinely upset at the lack of Golden Pig merchandise). The queue for Toutatis itself is extremely well integrated into the area with some comedic wooden carvings and a layout that gives you some nice sneak peeks into what you’re about to experience. Thankfully things only get better once you’re in the station, which appears as a grassy tribal mound from the outside, but is a dark and magical cavern inside. It has to be one of my favorite ride stations of all time. No critiques here, just heaps of praise.
So, given I haven’t ridden an Intamin Multilaunch prior to Toutatis (it’s probably for the best we forget Cheetah Hunt doesn’t exist) I was pretty curious to see how it would ride. Almost immediately I was beaming from ear to ear. The initial launch was punchy and the cutback element had some nice whip and hangtime to it. Before I knew it I was being flung down into the launch pit and being bounced backwards and forwards on the swing launch section. The launches are again pretty powerful and gave some great airtime whilst hopping over the hill. There were also some nice moments of floater on the top hat and spike. Unfortunately, the break on the other side of the top hat limits the impact of the following drop, but it’s still fun enough. I just feel the ride would be significantly better without the trims.
The next section out in the woods was pretty spectacular. Having never done a zero g stall I didn’t know what to expect. The sensation this element provided was pure refined hangtime meets airtime. It was delectable. The airtime hills were intense, but I did expect slightly more from the outwards banked hill. One section which really caught me off guard was the final inversion… It’s sharp and whippy, but with the freedom the lap bars give you it feels really enjoyable.
Overall I fell in love instantly. Whilst I felt it was a little short and that some elements didn’t quite hit as hard as they could, there was no doubt it was my new no 1 (sorry Mine Blower, you’ve served me well as a niche no 1 credit but I guess i’m a basic Intamin fanboy now).
After finishing with Toutatis we ended up succumbing to the Filomatix fastpass system as the park was horrendously busy. Our second ride of the day was Trace du Hourra, the Mack Bobsled coaster. Being a fan of Avalanche at Blackpool I was looking forward to this cred. Unfortunately, the ride op stapled me to the most severe degree that this ride became torturous. Despite having my stomach crushed by the restraints the whole way through the layout I couldn’t help but appreciate the layout of this ride. It’s incredibly long (which probably wasn’t the best given my predicament), but it was well paced and felt out of control and zippy throughout. It had some nice swing around the corners and genuinely provided an all around great experience. It’s just a shame the ride op tried to murder me… Oh well, I guess you can’t win them all.
We then decided to tackle the two major water rides of the park, Menhir Express and Le Grand Splatch. As we got to the boarding station for Menhir I was filled with instant regret. The people leaving the boats were drenched from head to toe. Now I’m not adverse to getting wet on rides, but this was far more than I'd expected from a log flume. Needless to say I set off on the flume with a sense of trepidation. The reason for this wetness soon became very clear as the water was incredibly choppy, often splashing up into the boats even when no drops were present. What about during the drops I hear you ask? Well, it wasn’t quite Valhalla levels of wetness, but it was closer than I’d ever expected to get on a simple log flume. Thankfully, both drops were pretty great, with the hidden bunny hop drop being quite a nice surprise. I came off Menhir loving the ride, the choppiness of the water made it stand out amongst other flume rides and give it a strong personality (and an obscene level of wetness too).
Speaking of obscene levels of wetness, it’s time to talk about Le Grand Splatch. Oh dear. Oh dear indeed. This ride is an absolute must on any visit to Asterix. It’s an absolute soaker, drowning you within seconds of leaving the lift hill. I must say I was a little disappointed in some aspects of the ride. Being set within the mountain Asterix sits on at the head of the park, I was expecting more theming (well to be honest ANY theming). But I guess I can’t complain when the theming budget seemingly got spent on a platoon of dangerously powerful water jets and fountains that were aimed at the boat. There’s no doubt about it, this ride is unpredictable. You never quite know who is going to get hit next or how powerful the water jet will be. My advice would be to avoid sitting on the right hand side. Sadly, the main drop doesn’t pack much of an impact and the ride ends on a bit of a tepid note. However, it was still one of the funniest moments of the entire trip. Me and my friends were in hysterics the whole way around. Well, at least I was given that I missed the brunt of the fountains. I’m not sure the same can be said from my friends on the right of the boat…
We decided the best way to dry off would be to get a ride in on OzIris. Walking into the plaza I was pretty awestruck. The theming in this area is second to none and I didn’t even get to go through the main queue line. Why can’t more parks put an effort into creating a beautiful area rather than plonking down a single theming element and calling it a day? The ride itself was an interesting one. My first ride was extremely rough. There was an obscene and constant rattle throughout the entire ride. Something I'd never experienced from a B&M before. However, my second ride later on in the day was glass smooth. Whatever the cause of this was, it needs to be sorted because no ride should be that bad. Thankfully the layout is sublime. The initial drop is huge and packs some great airtime and whip towards the back of the train. The following inversions feel like a chaotic whirlwind of elements that never let up. The zero g’s were a particular highlight and probably come the closest to delivering a true zero gravity sensation that any zero g roll has ever come. The pacing was relentless and despite hearing some people claim the latter half dies, I felt everything hit with a nice flow and level of whip. It’s an invert that puts Inferno and Nemesis to shame, although in my opinion is just below Montu when compared to other inverts.
After Oziris we moved onto L'Oxygénarium. I’m not the biggest fan of Storm Surge so I went into this with low expectations, however I really enjoyed this ride. It’s definitely faster paced and the setting and theming make it quite aesthetically pleasing. It’s not the most thrilling experience at the park but it’s good fun and gets you spinning quite a bit!
We then stopped for lunch at Le Cirque which is easily one of the best themed restaurants i’ve been to outside of Disney. I loved the attention to detail with circus trailers, massive animal cages you could eat in and massive hanging posters showcasing the circus acts. Oh and the food was pretty darned good too! Lots of variety and seemingly better quality than most normal theme park food.
Now for the most infamous ride at Asterix! I was kinda dreading Goudurix, even moreso when I found out I’d be sitting towards the back. Honestly? It wasn’t all that bad. Don’t get me wrong, the tracking of this ride is atrocious, but I wasn’t in too much pain and my head didn’t get battered around. I expected a lot worse and came off being pleasantly surprised. The inversions are somewhat fun, albeit extremely janky and the setting is beautiful above the water. Would I ride again? Absolutely! Would I wait the 40 minute queue it ended up with? Hell no.
Now i’m quite a big woodie fan, so I had high expectations for Tonnerre 2 Zeus (especially given Mine Blower had just been dethroned by Toutatis). I opted to do the backwards row on both my rides, so sadly I can’t comment on how good the forward facing experience is. No bother though, because backwards Zeus is quite frankly ridiculous. You haul through the layout and there’s nothing quite as terrifying as getting lurched down the drop backwards without any warning. The airtime is sublime. Sadly I would say the airtime in the rest of the layout isn’t quite as strong as I was hoping. It’s there and it’s fun, but it’s not the extreme ejector I got from Mine Blower back in 2018. That being said, I rank this ride really high. The chaotic nature of riding it backwards really elevated it to a whole new level.
We then completed the cred list (well minus kiddie creds because I have some self respect) with Pégase Express. Honestly, what were Gerstlauer thinking?! This ride is certainly more powerful than I’d expect for a family thrill coaster. It’s a really nice midpoint between family and full on thrill. The launches had a good impact (more intense than some thrill coasters * cough * Icon * cough *) and the hills and turns were nice and swoopy. I particularly appreciated the themed show scene that has an unexpected water effect that certainly didn’t make me scream upon impact. That would be embarrassing if it happened. Thankfully that DEFINITELY didn’t happen. But yeah, great ride for upcoming thrill seekers with some nice theming. It’s a real shame we don’t have one of these in the UK. I’m hoping Paultons gets one eventually.
We rounded the day out on the rapids which were pretty standard, then completed some re-rides on Toutatis, Oziris and Zeus. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to do everything I wanted, but it was heaving so that was pretty impossible to achieve. I genuinely loved the park. The theming is brilliant. The older sections of the park have a real charm to them and the new sections are just up there with some of the best theming in parks outside of Universal/Disney. The ride lineup is stellar and there’s honestly not much room for improvement here. I just wish we’d gone on a quieter day. Thankfully the ops at this park were beyond belief and incredibly fluid. It really makes you question how we don’t have a park of this level in the UK.