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Rank the UK’s current and former record holders

Matt N

CF Legend
Hi guys. Despite the UK currently holding only one record-breaking coaster at present, we Brits have had 7 coasters in total that have been world record holders for a certain ride statistic at some point in their lives. If you’re confused as to what they are (I was initially; I thought we only had 4!), they are:
  • The Smiler at Alton Towers: Current record holder for most inversions since 2013, with 14 inversions.
  • Colossus at Thorpe Park: Formerly record holder for most inversions from 2002 to 2013, with 10 inversions.
  • Big One at Blackpool Pleasure Beach: Formerly record holder for height from 1994 to 1996, at 213ft tall. Although the park says it’s 235ft tall, so I’m unsure which to go with, in all honesty.
  • The Ultimate at Lightwater Valley: Formerly record holder for length from 1991 to 1999, at 7,441ft long.
  • Mumbo Jumbo at Flamingo Land: Formerly record holder for steepest drop from 2009 to 2011, at 112°.
  • Speed: No Limits at Oakwood: Technically speaking, this was formerly the joint record holder for steepest drop from 2006 to 2008, at 97°.
  • Oblivion at Alton Towers: Although it was never expressly said at the time, Oblivion was technically the former record holder for steepest drop from 1998 to 2003, at 87.5°. If you think about it, the accolade of being “the world’s first vertical drop roller coaster” also made it the world’s steepest roller coaster at the time.
So my question to you today is; how would you personally rank Britain’s current & former record holders?

As for my ranking; I unfortunately haven’t ridden Mumbo Jumbo or The Ultimate, so I can only rank 5 of the 7 coasters. In terms of my ranking, I’d go with:
  1. Oblivion - Alton Towers: By far my favourite of these, I have to say. I just love the sustained airtime over the drop, and the raw speed through the tunnel! It may be short, but it doesn’t mess around, and it’s one heck of a rush that delivers every time for me! 9/10, #7 overall
  2. The Smiler - Alton Towers: It’s quite a sharp drop in enjoyment level from Oblivion to Smiler for me, but there’s still a lot I admire about Smiler, personally! They crammed a phenomenal amount into a tiny space, the layout is very creative and one I like a lot, and the pacing is seemingly relentless from start to finish; if you like relentlessly intense coasters, there’s nothing I’ve done quite like it! However, I still find it a bit too jolty in places to rank highly, and I also find it a tad too intense/nauseating for my liking; I prefer my rides a bit more fun & rerideable, personally, so it’s not really one of my favourites. 6/10, #33 overall
  3. Speed: No Limits - Oakwood: Speed certainly lives up to its name; it feels like a fast ride indeed, and is also quite intense! Not to mention, that sustained airtime hill is absolutely phenomenal, and has easily got to be one of my favourite UK airtime moments! However, the reason it’s so low is because it was somewhat rough last time I rode it; while nowhere near the level of something like Saw, there was notable head banging in places. It’s a shame, as if the ride were smooth, I could really see it being very enjoyable! 5/10, #45 overall
  4. Big One - Blackpool Pleasure Beach: The Big One does have a lot going for it, in my view; it has a spectacular sense of speed in many places, the first drop is spectacular towards the front of the train, and it’s a very good-looking ride! However, it’s a fairly rough coaster, unfortunately; in spite of the fact that it wasn’t as bad last time I rode as it was the first time, it was still quite rough. The ride also has some notable dead spots, and lacks airtime, although in fairness, I don’t really think it was built for airtime in the first place. 4/10, #50 overall
  5. Colossus - Thorpe Park: I’ll digress that I’ve never been a fan of Colossus at all from the day I first rode it in 2014. It’s a shame; on paper, the layout is pretty good, albeit perhaps less inspired than Smiler’s, and the landscaping and general aesthetic of it is lovely! However, the ride has been very rough on both rides I’ve ever had on it; even though my 2019 ride was not quite as bad as I’d remembered from 2014, when I instantly declared the ride my least favourite coaster, it was still pretty rough. I also don’t like the trains much; they’re quite cramped, and even though I’m not exactly tall, I could barely fit my legs behind the seat in front on my last ride. It’s a shame, as I think Colossus has a lot of potential! 3/10, #58 overall
So strangely, I’m not actually that fond of the UK’s current & former record breakers, on the whole. Oblivion is the only one to make my top 10% (top 7), top 10, top 25% (top 19) or my UK top 10, and even if you extend it to my top 50% (top 37), only Oblivion and Smiler get in, and it’s quite narrowly in Smiler’s case, with Smiler just making it at #33.

But how do you rank Britain’s current and former record breakers? Which is your favourite?
 

Matt N

CF Legend
Sorry for double posting, but it would appear that I was wrong about there only being 7 record breakers… there is in fact 8, as Saw briefly held the steepness record prior to Mumbo Jumbo opening!

My knowledge of Great British record breakers is not as extensive as I’d like, it would seem… sorry about that!

As such, let me post an amended list; the addition of Saw is italicised:
  1. Oblivion - Alton Towers: By far my favourite of these, I have to say. I just love the sustained airtime over the drop, and the raw speed through the tunnel! It may be short, but it doesn’t mess around, and it’s one heck of a rush that delivers every time for me! 9/10, #7 overall
  2. The Smiler - Alton Towers: It’s quite a sharp drop in enjoyment level from Oblivion to Smiler for me, but there’s still a lot I admire about Smiler, personally! They crammed a phenomenal amount into a tiny space, the layout is very creative and one I like a lot, and the pacing is seemingly relentless from start to finish; if you like relentlessly intense coasters, there’s nothing I’ve done quite like it! However, I still find it a bit too jolty in places to rank highly, and I also find it a tad too intense/nauseating for my liking; I prefer my rides a bit more fun & rerideable, personally, so it’s not really one of my favourites. 6/10, #33 overall
  3. Speed: No Limits - Oakwood: Speed certainly lives up to its name; it feels like a fast ride indeed, and is also quite intense! Not to mention, that sustained airtime hill is absolutely phenomenal, and has easily got to be one of my favourite UK airtime moments! However, the reason it’s so low is because it was somewhat rough last time I rode it; while nowhere near the level of something like Saw, there was notable head banging in places. It’s a shame, as if the ride were smooth, I could really see it being very enjoyable! 5/10, #45 overall
  4. Big One - Blackpool Pleasure Beach: The Big One does have a lot going for it, in my view; it has a spectacular sense of speed in many places, the first drop is spectacular towards the front of the train, and it’s a very good-looking ride! However, it’s a fairly rough coaster, unfortunately; in spite of the fact that it wasn’t as bad last time I rode as it was the first time, it was still quite rough. The ride also has some notable dead spots, and lacks airtime, although in fairness, I don’t really think it was built for airtime in the first place. 4/10, #50 overall
  5. Colossus - Thorpe Park: I’ll digress that I’ve never been a fan of Colossus at all from the day I first rode it in 2014. It’s a shame; on paper, the layout is pretty good, albeit perhaps less inspired than Smiler’s, and the landscaping and general aesthetic of it is lovely! However, the ride has been very rough on both rides I’ve ever had on it; even though my 2019 ride was not quite as bad as I’d remembered from 2014, when I instantly declared the ride my least favourite coaster, it was still pretty rough. I also don’t like the trains much; they’re quite cramped, and even though I’m not exactly tall, I could barely fit my legs behind the seat in front on my last ride. It’s a shame, as I think Colossus has a lot of potential! 3/10, #58 overall
  6. Saw: The Ride - Thorpe Park: I really want to like Saw, as it has some really great elements, some nice pops of airtime and good pace, but it’s just so rough; I always come off with a pounding headache. 3/10, #59 overall
 

Will

Strata Poster
WOW. What a downright motley bunch these are...

After the top two, this has become a bit like ranking my favourite Covid variants, but let's have a go,

1. Oblivion - still easily among the UK's top 5 coasters and whilst it's all over in one moment, that one moment still holds up 23 years on!
2. The Ultimate - truly one of a kind and utterly, utterly insane. Even if it will leave you with more than a few bruises!
3. Colossus - Jeez, how has this wound up being so high. I just wish it were smoother and the trains better designed as I've always thought it LOOKS great - one of the UK's most watchable coasters if nothing else.
4. Saw - These next 3 are actually kind of interchangeable and this probably beats out Big One and Smiler only because I don't have any recent traumatic experiences. It's got a few good moments, but the Gerst rattle moreorless stops you noticing them
5. The Smiler - In all honesty, I forget this exists when I visit Alton - it's just useful having it there to soak up crowds. I'd only ride it if someone I'm with especially wants to. I can appreciate the engineering, but the ride experience is akin to sitting in a washing machine with a brick or two. The only coaster to have made me feel more ill is Baco.
6. The Big One - This one's aged worse than me since 1994. It was never very forceful beside the sensation of speed (which was cool, in its day) - these days however, its main focus seems to be on realigning riders spines.
7. Speed - I haven't ridden this in a long, long time either, but remember it having the worst of the Gerst brain rattles. It was impressive for a year or two when it was a new 'gimmick' but combining the layout and trains with Oakwood's casual disregard for ride maintenance was never going to end well.
8. Mumbo Jumbo - I disliked this in 2009 and I dislike it still. I do not like hangtime and I do not like S&S restraints. Part of Flamingo's endless campaign to have the worst coaster line-up in Europe!
 
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