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Rank the Alton Towers coasters

Matt N

Strata Poster
Sorry to double post, but following my recent trip, mine has changed a bit yet again. I’ll keep it fairly brief and mainly go over the most notable changes:
  1. Wicker Man (10/10, #3 overall, unchanged)
  2. Oblivion (9/10, #5 overall, unchanged)
  3. Nemesis (9/10, #10 overall, unchanged)
  4. Thirteen (7/10, #17 overall, +3) - I have to say, my recent ride on Thirteen was the most enjoyable I’ve had in a while! It was great fun; the outdoor section had some fun pops of airtime, and some fun twists and turns, and the backwards section was more fun than I’d remembered! All in all, Thirteen definitely went back up in my estimations after a reride; it was really good fun!
  5. Rita (7/10, #18 overall, unchanged)
  6. Runaway Mine Train (7/10, #27 overall, unchanged)
  7. The Smiler (6/10, #36 overall, +1)
  8. Galactica (6/10, #40 overall, -4) - Oh, Galactica. I did used to really like this, but my last experience, although not bad by any means, was rather disappointing; it didn’t do anywhere near as much for me. I do still think that the layout is rather nice and pleasant, and the ride is nice and smooth, but I’ll admit that I found the whole flying coaster riding position quite uncomfortable, which really took away from it for me; I was going round the ride thinking about how the riding position wasn’t very comfortable at all. I also find the fly to lie to not be the most comfortable of elements; I’m not personally huge on how the g-forces rush to your head. Overall, while I wouldn’t say I dislike Galactica by any means, I’ve certainly gone off it a fair bit. That’s nothing against Galactica as a ride; I just don’t think the prone position is really for me.
  9. Spinball Whizzer (4/10, #50 overall, unchanged)
  10. Octonauts Rollercoaster Adventure (3/10, #65 overall, unchanged)


Strata Poster
1. Oblivion 8/10
2. Nemesis 8/10
3. Smiler (the layout is genius, but needs lapbars) 7/10
4. Wickerman (needs just a few pops of actual airtime to be noteworthy.) 6/10
5. Rita (rode this again last month and it was actually decent and it ruined my week) 6/10
6. Thirteen 5/10
7. Galactica (makes me feel a tad nauseous and tbh it's just a bit meh?) 4/10
8. Runaway Mine Train 4/10
9. Spinball (docked a point for those sweaty handlebars) 3/10

Yet to get the Octonauts cred because I can't find it within myself to enter Cbeebies Land :(

Matt N

Strata Poster
If you want decent airtime on Wicker Man @Ethan, I'd head back and ride it towards the back; the ride has almost biblical levels of ejector towards the back these days!


Hyper Poster
I'm not sure it has any elector at all, there's a yank and a tickle of airtime here and there but that's about it. What are you benchmarking this against Matt?


Strata Poster
If you want decent airtime on Wicker Man @Ethan, I'd head back and ride it towards the back; the ride has almost biblical levels of ejector towards the back these days!
Matt I've ridden in the back row many times and there has been no dicklift at all, not even a slither. There are a few moments you feel like you're gonna get some but it never comes :(


Staff member
Social Media Team
Yeah don't say "Wickerman" and "ejector" in the same sentence without some sort of "doesn't have any" in between. Wickerman has some decent pops of airtime, but "biblical ejector" is does not.

That, or if you think that's a lot of airtime you're going to have quite the shock when you ride an RMC or Intamin!

Matt N

Strata Poster
Admittedly, I was benchmarking that against what I’ve ridden… I’m starting to learn that’s not a wise idea when talking to people with far more experience than me. Sorry…

If WM’s airtime isn’t ejector, though, what sort of airtime is it? Riding it yesterday, I certainly felt like I was getting rapidly jolted out of the seat over a number of the hills!

Although as I keep getting told, I guess I’m yet to ride a true airtime machine (B&M hypers don’t count, supposedly; if they did, then I’d be able to class Mako as having ridden a true airtime machine. It well and truly felt like one to me, but I can’t argue with the consensus.)…


Hyper Poster
I went on Wicker Man earlier in the year and I previously posted that I had ejector on it:

Yes, we were on the back row (late afternoon) so perhaps the experience will not be repeated on other rows but it really was in ‘surprising ejector’ territory, to the point where we could barely believe it was the same ride.

Maybe it was a one off and the planets had aligned - who knows!

Granted, perhaps it wasn’t enough to classify itself as true ‘ejector’. I’m certainly not a full coaster globe-trotter (quite yet) although I have experienced far stronger airtime on, say, Expedition G-Force and Zadra. I would nevertheless say that Wicker Man had surprisingly decent ‘WTF-bums-thrown-out-of-the-seat airtime’ this season… on certain days… enough for me to make that perhaps ‘generous’ statement, at least.

Perhaps every 23rd neap-tide, Wickerman get its groove on? I’ll guess I’ll have to borrow Book of Shadows from my local library (again) to hunt for more clues / act out on my adult hurt that I never had a Goonies-esque adventure in childhood.

God have mercy

Roller Poster
Wicker Man ( Best coaster on park by a distance, most re-ridable i find. )
Smiler ( absolutely love Smiler, don't find it rough, don't mind the restraints, never had an issue with the ride)
Nemesis ( The Classic, Back row is where it's at)
Oblivion ( Great Forces on the drop and is a must everytime i visit)

Thirteen ( the trim brake at bottom of the drop ruins it for me and find it abit boring )
Runaway Mine Train ( a fun midday ride with the right operators)
Rita ( it's just Meh, I ride it if the line is no longer than 30 minute's)
Galactica ( Just not a fan of flying coasters)

Spinball Whizzer ( it's a damn torture device in those cars and how hard the brakes slam you at the end with tight restraints.)


Roller Poster
1) Smiler
2) Oblivion
3) Wicker Man
4) Nemesis (haven't done front seat which is why it's so low)
5) Spinball Whizzer
6) Th13teen
7) Galactica
8) Rita
9) Runaway Mine Train

Haven't done Octonauts yet. I would put my personal ranking next to the coasters but I need to rearrange a bit


Mega Poster
1: Nemesis (obviously)
2: The Smiler (rough towards the end, but it's a long and intense ride)
3: Wicker Man (nice pops of air and brilliant theming)
4: Oblivion (love dive coasters, just wished it was more like Sheikra)
5: Galactica (it's fine)
6: Rita (decent, wished it was better)
7: Thirteen (not that thrilling and it was a huge disappointment to me when it opened, but it's unique I guess)
8: Spinball Whizzer (almost put this over thirteen as it's a more thrilling ride, but not all that interesting)
9: Runaway Mine Train (for what it is, this is a great family coaster)

Not experienced the shame of riding octonauts as a full grown man, but one day I may succumb.

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