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Parks you can't be arsed with

Hixee

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I recently finished watching the rather fascinating Defunctland documentary on Disney's Fastpass (link), and something has been stewing in my brain since then.

I [currently] can't be arsed with Disney.

I'd love to do all the Disney parks - I think they do genuinely look fantastic, and are clearly world leading parks. I've visited Disney twice - Paris in 2002 on a family holiday, and Shanghai in 2018. I thoroughly enjoyed both trips, but I remember Shanghai taking a significant amount of brain power during the day to make sure I did everything I wanted. Thankfully that park was still fairly new, had relatively long hours, and I was on a solo trip, so I was able to take good advantage of 'head left at the start cos everyone goes right' and the single rider queues to end up having a great jam-packed day, but it didn't have much of that spontaneity that I like in a park visit. Paris in 2002 was a four day family trip, so little stress for me (dunno about my parents), and we were very easy going with the whole thing.

I've been to Florida in 2006 and 2019, and California twice in 2013 and once in 2019, and each time I've looked at the various Disney parks and thought... "ughhh, no I just can't be arsed". I know I'm missing out on some of the best ride experiences out there, but I just can't imagine having to have my day planned out like that. It feels to me like there is so much planning involved, that so much ride anxiety would follow - I find myself always turned off by the whole idea. Especially when I want to take my partner - my favourite days at "big" parks in the last few years have been those where everything is much more relaxed - and I think that'd really appeal to her too, and so Disney is always the first of the plans to get dropped.

The trick would be, of course, to go to these places often enough that you're not going to be bothered about not riding x-y-z this time, but then that also involves a lot of commitment (and money!) that I keep finding I'd rather use elsewhere!

I'd love for someone to tell me it's all bad-press and it's really not like that, and that I should just get stuck in, but I think the stress would always build up for me unless there was a sea-change in how days out at these parks are perceived. I think I'm rambling now... you get the idea.

Interestingly, while thinking about this Disney was the only one that sprung to mind - although that's a massive blanket description of ten-something parks in total. I'll add another post if others occur to me.

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So I wonder, which parks are out there that you should be dying to do, but just... don't care about? I'm not talking about "can't be bothered going all the way to Inverness for the +1" type trips, I'm talking about proper, serious parks with significant reputations.
 

Scott Lannigan

Mega Poster
This may be a controversial one but Energylandia....

It's got a few absolutely amazing looking coasters but the rest of the park just looks a bit....meh? I feel like in 5 years time I'd be willing to make the trip there but when there are other parks that have similar standout coasters but come along with much better theming (it does look to be improving on this but nothing to 'rave' about still) and also have better rides and family coasters, I just don't see the point currently. Saying all that, I know that one day I will definitely get up there but for now it's not quite grabbing my interest as much as others that I'm yet to visit.
 

Nicky Borrill

Strata Poster
Never visited a Disney Park… Never had the urge… Only thing that will take me there is the fact my missus loves them and wants to visit more. (she visited Paris with the kids one weekend that I couldn’t get.)

So I guess that counts right?

I also cannot be arsed for Drayton Manor, despite it being so close, but I hope that changes soon!

Finally Legoland, never been, never will go, unless there’s a live or something. Not really a ‘cred counter.’ (Yet, although that seems to be changing!) So have never had the urge to go to small places with one or two kiddie creds!

If it hasn’t got at least one decent thrill coaster, then I just can’t be arsed…
 

Benenen

Hyper Poster
For me it's Wiener Prater. The place looks fantastic, loads of fun coasters to bash out, several top tier ghost trains (a favourite ride type for me) and some incredible looking flats. But I'm put off by pay per ride, I couldn't fully sink into it and enjoy the day knowing the bill is totting up and also knowing that because I took a plane to get there I should be riding a lot to justify being there. I'm hoping in ten years time I'll be more of a man of culture than I am now and can tack the park on to a different type of holiday to Vienna.
 

Rob Coasters

Mega Poster
I [currently] can't be arsed with Disney.

I'd love to do all the Disney parks - I think they do genuinely look fantastic, and are clearly world leading parks. My parents never took me because they never knew Disneyland had rides (to be fair Space Mountain does not sound like it's a ride) but I'm not complaining because of where I've been instead. The parks also look like they take a significant amount of brain power during the day to make sure I do everything I want.

I'm also simply not at the point where I can reasonably afford Disneyland. You see, I could just take the hit and straight up go, but do I want to when there are millions of parks that are easier, cheaper, and dare I say look like more fun?

The trouble is with Disneyland is that they have a phenomenon that I forget the name of. But the definition of it is "your customers are willing to pay no matter what stupidly unreasonable price you jack it up to". Right now Disney is the cheapest it will ever be for the next 5, 10, 15 years, so I'd be doing myself a favour if I just got down there right now. But I just simply don't want to.

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Right now I can't be arsed with parks via public transport that require a mandatory taxi. I did it with Drayton Manor and Paultons with no issue, but it seems like I just push away those parks where a station isn't within less than 40 minutes' walk of the park.

I could've done Twinlakes this year - decided not to. Flamingo Land looks impossible anyway, Oakwood is a silly route that I'm shocked someone managed to almost day-trip. I'm not at that level yet but I'm getting there.

I think the reason is that I've never had a good time with finding the damn thing in the car park on the way out. My nightmare at Paultons where I almost missed my train because I was stuck looking for the taxi put me right off.

I will happily walk 40 minutes from the station to the park but any further I'll just taxi it. Legoland however is an hour walk and I'm tempted to try the walk...
 

JoshC.

Strata Poster
Another vote for Disney from me.

I'm not a big Disney fan anyway. Very little of it interests me. Then, as Hixee says, there's the planning faff involved, and I honestly would have no clue where to start to maximize my days. At least with any other parks I would have a vague idea of how to start (or, failing that, know it's not a military-level operation trying to find out).

Plus, I visited Disney Paris for my 3rd birthday. Only thing I remember of it was queueing to get my photo taken with Mickey Mouse. I don't remember meeting the mouse himself. Just queueing to meet him. [You could argue remembering anything from over 24 years ago is standout enough. I would argue if the standout memory to stick with me is queueing, then that ain't good]

I know there's going to some incredible experiences at Disney parks, and I'm sure I'll get round to visiting some of them eventually. But right now, it's not even on the radar.


Another park is Port Aventura.
It's never been high on my radar. Yeah, it's got some cool looking rides. But, I don't know, it's just never jumped out to me. I guess partly because of all the issues you hear about queue jumping at the park. Partly because there's no one ride I'm really itching to get on. Partly because I've enjoyed doing multi-park trips, and it's hard to do that beyond Tibidabo. So yeah, all adds up.
I'll get round to it eventually, but it's just not high on the list.


Final one, which fits the bill and little less but also still kind of fits: Europa Park.
Possibly a controversial one given the high quality (and high cred count too). And just before the pandemic started I was about to book a trip out there (literally had it all worked out aside from physically booking it all). But, there's something about it which has never really hit me.

I think there's a plethora of reasons here. Firstly, like PA, there's no one single cred I'm itching to get on there, which makes it a bit harder to muster up the energy for me. Also, it's a park which I know require multiple days. That's fine. But again, as much as possible, I like to do multi-park trips. Obviously, there's enough parks near enough that you could add on (Holiday Park, Tripsdrill, etc). But then it creates a longer, more expensive. And for similar time and similar price, I could do more parks, possibly more creds, get more variety, etc.

As I say, this is less a "can't be arsed", and more a "why do it when there's options which interest me more". Similar thought processes I guess, but feels different enough. And again, I'll get out there sooner rather than later (and hopefully before a Disney park or PA).
 

Howie

Donkey in a hat
Disney, check. ✔
Been twice, Paris in 2004 and Orlando in 2007. Have never bothered since, not even when I was in southern California in 2010.

Legoland, check. ✔
Finally got round to visiting the Windsor one in 2019 but only because it was free. Was pretty much what I expected. Meh.

Drayton Manor, check. ✔
Used to be a genuine competitor to Alton Towers, but after the coaster wars of '94, Drayton Manor simply failed to keep up. Only been a couple of times since then, most recently this year in fact, but still, meh.

Energylandia, check. ✔
Sh*thole. I mean, Hypadra is great, and the cheap beer is quite nice but apart from that I really can't be arsed with the place.

Wiener Prata, check. ✔
The only one on my list that I haven't actually been to. Why? Can't be arsed.
 

Leon_K

Roller Poster
I started to interest me more in coasters and theme parks in the last couple of years so I have not visited a huge amount of parks. The biggest parks I visited so far (next to a bigger amount of smaller parks) are Efteling, Walibi Holland, Disneyland Paris (in 2004) and Gardaland. And to be honest, I prefer not visiting any big theme park in weekend days on high season anymore. It's hard to really fully appreciate immersive theming while making sure you don't trip over a group of running kids on an overcrowded pathway and standing in lines for hours.
 

Tulum

Mega Poster
Heide Park
Have been there only once when Flug der Dämonen opened. It is just 3 hours from me (Cologne). I cannot even describe why the park doesn't attract me.
For me it lacks innovation and good theming. My sister feels exactly the opposite and loves going there. So we booked a trip in October, which we couldn't make because I was put into quarantine. They offered to re-shedule our tickets but only days we could't go. So that was it again until they will open a ride that is worth going there again and as we all know is that this won't be happen soon.

Serioulsy, I rather drive longer to go to Hansa Park.
 

Sandman

Giga Poster
If you asked me about 5 years ago then Disney would sit firmly atop of my list. However, I have started to embrace the idea of just sucking it up and giving the Florida Disney parks a go. I'm sure they are excellent, the only thing that dampens it really is the notion of massive crowds.

Generally, UK parks (with the exception of AT, Thorpe and BPB) are not worth the travel in my opinion. The only exception would be a CF meet-up or something when it's not really about the parks but the group fun.

One park I was considering visiting a few years ago but ultimately found that I couldn't be arsed with, is Tusenfryd. In my opinion, it seems like the least interesting of the Scandi parks and as someone who doesn't drive, I would have to force myself to tie it into a visit to Oslo, which is major CBA for me.
 

Nitefly

Hyper Poster
Disneyworld / Florida is a theme park dream, but it's a serious time/cost commitment.

Anything less than 10 days and it's going to feel like a rush, or at least not 'relaxing'. I was a lord of the now defunct fastpass+ system, but it really did require a deep time-commitment knowledge to workaround the 'at face value' rules (such as 'rebooking/cancelling' techniques). There is a certain enjoyment that can come from gaming a system like that, but it's certainly not for everyone and it's certainly not relaxing. It also meant long waits were artificially created for middling rides as an artefact. In hindsight, it's not the best. I think the Disney Genie system could help the situation by significantly limiting the number of fast passes that can be booked at one time and in that sense making it a far simpler, 'on the day' experience.

Also, you are basically stuck with 14 day tickets for £460ish for Disneyworld only - with no real ability to make a material saving for a shorter time period. Then add on £100 for your Disney Genie+ for that period. Then add on £10 a pop for some of the premium fast passes that are excluded from Genie+. Then add on your Universal and Busch Gardens tickets... It would get really expensive for a typical family very quickly. In fact, all in it's about £1k each on tickets alone for each adult.

I can completely understand being put off for those reasons. But really, the appeal rather than the rides is the experience: buying a set of 'mouse ears', having an ice cream and seeing the landmarks... which you can't really do when clock watching. Going to Disney is just... sort of an event; a celebration of going to theme parks generally. Sort of how like you embrace all things 'spooky' at a 'halloween scare maze' event, you enjoy what the event represents as much as the event. Plus the rides are so much more elaborate than typical park offerings in terms of theming and experience (Pirates of the Caribbean, Jungle Cruise, Big Thunder Mountain, Splash Mountain, Haunted Mansion, Tower of Terror etc) it does feel rather special when you're there in terms of 'ride experiences'. It unfortunately requires a luxurious amount of time to enjoy it.

Disneyworld / Florida is so good, it does make Disneyland Paris seem rather redundant. I've still not been.

Edit: this post reads horribly, sorry.
 
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Satanspropaganda

Mega Poster
I can completely understand being put off for those reasons. But really, the appeal rather than the rides is the experience: buying a set of 'mouse ears', having an ice cream and seeing the landmarks... which you can't really do when clock watching. Going to Disney is just... sort of an event; a celebration of going to theme parks generally. Sort of how like you embrace all things 'spooky' at a 'halloween scare maze' event, you enjoy what the event represents as much as the event. Plus the rides are so much more elaborate than typical park offerings in terms of theming and experience (Pirates of the Caribbean, Jungle Cruise, Big Thunder Mountain, Splash Mountain, Haunted Mansion, Tower of Terror etc) it does feel rather special when you're there in terms of 'ride experiences'. It unfortunately requires a luxurious amount of time to enjoy it.
This is the perfect summary of Disney parks. I did Disney Paris when out that way for a gig a few years ago and within minutes my clock watching cred hunting approach was dropped. I booked Disney World the next day as I thought if Paris was that spectacular, what would the biggest Disney resort be like and it was just incredible in every way. But you do have to embrace it all, you are spending a metric tonne to be there, so take in every little sight, try the snacks and enjoy the muchness and over the topness of it all
 

Nicky Borrill

Strata Poster
I notice that some of these answers come down to that age old question again... Are you a coaster enthusiast, theme park enthusiast or just a thrill coaster junkie...

For me I'm somewhere between coaster enthusiast and thrill coaster junkie... So parks like Energylandia, Phantasialand etc, that each have at least 3 decent thrill coasters, and good supporting coasters, will always get my money before parks like Disney and Efteling that lack any really good thrill coasters, (IMO of course, especially in the case of Efteling.)
 

davidm

Strata Poster
CBA is dangerous...

CBA ever going to Southport (when they had the Cyclone) nor Camelot - neither of which are very far from where I live.

So don't have any of those creds. :(

EDIT : yeah and Skytrak ; like that was literally a couple of miles away, had been to the 'park' on a works thing before it was installed/dismantled but still. (pre-goon-days though, so not quite so egregious as those other two)

All those moments creds will be lost in time, like tears in rain.
 
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Fleetwood_Mack

Roller Poster
Palace Pier, Brighton. I live a 15 minute walk from the place, I spent all of my summer holidays there as a child. If I lived near something like BPB I'd definitely be popping in on my way to ALDI, but I have no desire to venture onto PP. You'd think that the (supposedly - in some recent year - perhaps no longer) most visited tourist attraction outside of London would invest in something but - nope - their entire line up looks like its longing for the scrap yard and their last "thrilling" addition - an air race - almost flattened a kid when the themeing disintegrated mid ride.

It has so much potential but it's just a grotty, bog standard depressing little fun fair. Granted there's not much they can do but there's certainly a lot more they could do!

EDIT: hahaha sorry for not reading the thread properly 😬👀
 
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HeartlineCoaster

Theme Park Superhero
I think the only time I skipped a proper, serious park with significant reputation was Universal Studios in California because it was a stupid, stupid load of money with very little unique on offer. They have since diversified somewhat, though not with anything that particularly interests me, yet I'm sure it will inevtiably become a 'might as well, for completion' next time I'm in the vicinity. And with that attitude there isn't really anything I won't bother with any more. I can be arsed with a surprising amount when it comes to this game.

I get where people are coming from on the DIsney front, but to me all of their parks have always had at least one unique standout that has made it a must visit for me, unlike that specific Universal. This may in fact be heading in the opposite direction as they start chucking down Trons everywhere but I've stayed ahead of that curve for now, thankfully.
To weigh in on the 'it's a faff and you have to plan your day to the nth degree' thing, I've never done anything like that at any Disney. I've always just rocked up on the day with nothing but a list of what I wanted to do, then did it and unfailingly had a fantastic time doing it (typhoons aside). They've always ended up amongst my favourite parks. If you can focus on the 'must-dos' of each individual property then it does make things feel a lot more achievable and anything else is just a bonus.
Florida may yet prove me wrong, I'll let you know on that one.
 

caffeine_demon

Strata Poster
I must be easily amused, but whilst there are certainly a few biggish parks which I probably wouldn't revisit, unless they got something new and decent (dorney, Six flags america, drayton), I don't think there are any major or even mediumish parks I just can't be bothered visiting, at least as part of a bigger trip.
 

Thekingin64

Strata Poster
Completely agree about Disney. Never been to any Disney park, and have no real desire to do so. It's a lot of money to spend to be clock watching all day to ensure everything worth doing is done.

I have always preferred a quiet park, where you can relax, no stress about rides, and have time to explore the lesser seen areas and potentially find a hidden gem or 2. There never seems to be a quiet day and any Disney so just can't see myself enjoying it.

The same applies for the whole of Orlando as well. Expensive, and seemingly always packed. This is also most of the reason I don't rate my one visit to SFGAdv that highly. Being in a group of non-enthusiasts on a busy Saturday, trying to ride everything and forgetting about lunch in the process... That being said, with no cred anxiety, I'm sure I'd enjoy a repeat visit more, just so I can re-ride the better rides and ignore the rest.

@Benenen also has a very good point about Weiner Prater. All pay per ride and no wristband deals would mean the costs would soar very easily for me...

Also, Hyde Park Winter Wonderland. Have visited twice, both times found it freezing cold, overcrowded and expensive. Great event, but can't be arsed making the trek to London this year for it.

(I'd include the British Merlin parks as well, all for similar reasons but think I'm just tired of them rather than can't be arsed with them. Have owned a Merlin pass for year so have almost taken the free entry for granted. I'd still never pay full price for any Merlin attraction though... The faff surrounding the annual pass prebooks this past year and the pass price hike was the push for me not to renew the pass this year)
 

cookie

Hyper Poster
Bonbon-Land is three hours by train from my house, but I haven't been there since 2002 when I was seven. It's not like it's not on my to-do list (three new credits ain't nothing, even if it seems like the park's glory days are well past it), but I always end up thinking there's some other place I'd rather spend my valuable time and money at, even if it's a park I've been to many times before like Tivoli or Liseberg.

If there's time and money over next year, I should make it a priority just to get it out of the way.
 
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