Jordanovichy
Credit Whore 2016
What better way to kick off the new year and coaster season with an early January trip to Melton Mobray's finest theme park, Twinlakes!
I headed over to Ian's the night before where we pigged out in the local Spoon's and went back to his for Cluedo and **** Head. He won 4/4 on Cluedo and I won 10/16 on **** Head. We crashed out at midnight due to the 7am start.
We left a mild Bell Towers, it was a pleasant 5C. We stopped off at Oxford station to pick up Rebel and travelled further north through the thick fog patches and whore frost. The further north we went the colder it got until we finally arrived (3.5 hours after we left Bell Towers) at Twinlakes where it was -3C (and yes, I was wearing shorts).
The three of us headed over to the entrance where the Maycocks were already standing. The place looks reasonably colourful and was still festooned in its Christmasness.
But there, lurking in the corner was a rather depressing sight, a sight some of us had considered but none of us really expected, a sight so burdenous it would give Sue a run for her money...
We had been told though that management were trying to get the rides open by midday or just after so we remained hopeful. We paid our entrance and, well, entered.
More Christmas awaited.
Even the penguin was finding it a bit cold
We headed straight to one of the indoor play areas and cafe to wait for, you guessed it, Sue.
The play area was also decorated festively.
Less, Wonderland, more WonderBland...
I had a coffee of despair...it was £1.45 and tiny, and tasted of general unhappiness.
In this building there used to be a rapids ride themed to bin liner apparently, this has now been removed to make way for a New for 2015 attraction!
Just before 12 (an hour after the planned meet up I hasten to add :lol: ) Sue arrived with Nealbie, Mike and Enigma Shadow in tow. Nealbie announced pig racing was imminent so we raced (well, ambled) over to the race track and awaited the competitors. We received a 'frosty' reception. AYYYYE. Oh dear.
There was Amy (with the black feet) and I believe, Sam with the white feet.
Ready and raring to go
And they're off!
Coming round the final bend...
And she does it!
A video of the race, just for you.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9B4grqy6DA[/youtube]
After the excitement of the pig race we headed over to the first low-quality maze of the day, The (Festive) Dungeon
It was probably the best of the day despite it being really awful. It was completely dark...like completely, and wound around quite a bit. There we some very thin door sections, bean bags at boob height, and other obstacles to stop tall, big people getting around, so I did struggle. It was good fun though.
Next was the Farmhouse of Fear, another maze, but this one was advertised as having live actors!
This maze also featured coats!
The live actors, it turns out, were non existent. There were a couple of displays of not very much and then it was over...the best thing about it was that it ended in a cafe.
Just next door was another maze, the Candy Cane Maze.
This one was themed to like a circus tent and, again, wasn't very thrilling. The walls all looked the same and you had to find a doorway through all the drapes, it was fun but generally dull. That's low quality mazes for you!
We decided to head over to the main play area. En route we found some round things you sit on and the get pulled along. Nealbie pulled Rach around with quite some speed and then we both pulled Sue around. It was really great fun.
We also found some reindeers that looked remarkably like barrels of hay. Oh and Terry the Tank Engine...
Inside the building with the children's play area was the Trauma Tower. Over the course of the afternoon, I rode with Sue and Ian a total of 8 times, it creates great feelings but we won't go into that.
So finally, we were about to enter the Gladiator's Ring, mmmm...ring.
I obviously couldn't take my camera in but we spent around an hour climbing, falling, crashing, laughing, sweating, hurting, sliding, ball pitting, it was really really great fun, especially those vertical slides <3
Lunch time had come and gone by now so we went outside in search of creds <3 The Big Apple (which isn't called Big Apple, I can't be bothered to look it up and didn't take a photo) we had already been told would be shut for the day. Spite. So we headed over to the Buffalo...which sat there, sombrely, coated in frost...it didn't look good. Ian went to find some management to beg and plead...meanwhile...
Boating on a partially frozen lake had to happen! It was **** freezing I can tell you but good fun. They don't exactly go fast so you can't really crash with force but if you lean forward just before impact you can splash your 'friend'.
It was good fun.
Once Ian arrived back he delivered bad news...the cred would remain shut. 2 spites in one day
We next had a wander around Prairie Pete's City, it was frozen solid but ahh well. We all crammed into a church, Ian took a picture but you'll have to ask him nicely for that There was also a very slippery turntable which was fun too.
We went on to visit some animals. Sheep first...
I took my favourite ever picture of a goat
Then decided to take a selfie with him/her...
Next up was ferret racing! One was called Dash, I have no idea what the other was called, sorry. Dash won though.
Have a video of this momentous race.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_DiFyKcLbU[/youtube]
Once that was done we saw some magnificent peacocks
And a monkey called Threesome
But then it was time for the final race of the day, the sheep race. To distinguish, that had different coloured swirls. Some of them were quite rowdy before the race started, jumping up and kicking each other, but eventually the race began.
There was a hold up half way around when the sheep realised they didn't want to touch the puddle, after a minute or so, one finally braved it so the rest followed.
And the final video of this report:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qx--LriNG5I&feature=youtu.be[/youtube]
Not much else happened after that, we sashayed over to the car park where Ian, Rebel and I said our goodbyes to everyone and headed back down south.
It was a really great day, despite the no show from the creds. It is certainly a park I would return to, it's just a little park that CFers get so much out of.
Thanks so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it
I headed over to Ian's the night before where we pigged out in the local Spoon's and went back to his for Cluedo and **** Head. He won 4/4 on Cluedo and I won 10/16 on **** Head. We crashed out at midnight due to the 7am start.
We left a mild Bell Towers, it was a pleasant 5C. We stopped off at Oxford station to pick up Rebel and travelled further north through the thick fog patches and whore frost. The further north we went the colder it got until we finally arrived (3.5 hours after we left Bell Towers) at Twinlakes where it was -3C (and yes, I was wearing shorts).
The three of us headed over to the entrance where the Maycocks were already standing. The place looks reasonably colourful and was still festooned in its Christmasness.
But there, lurking in the corner was a rather depressing sight, a sight some of us had considered but none of us really expected, a sight so burdenous it would give Sue a run for her money...
We had been told though that management were trying to get the rides open by midday or just after so we remained hopeful. We paid our entrance and, well, entered.
More Christmas awaited.
Even the penguin was finding it a bit cold
We headed straight to one of the indoor play areas and cafe to wait for, you guessed it, Sue.
The play area was also decorated festively.
Less, Wonderland, more WonderBland...
I had a coffee of despair...it was £1.45 and tiny, and tasted of general unhappiness.
In this building there used to be a rapids ride themed to bin liner apparently, this has now been removed to make way for a New for 2015 attraction!
Just before 12 (an hour after the planned meet up I hasten to add :lol: ) Sue arrived with Nealbie, Mike and Enigma Shadow in tow. Nealbie announced pig racing was imminent so we raced (well, ambled) over to the race track and awaited the competitors. We received a 'frosty' reception. AYYYYE. Oh dear.
There was Amy (with the black feet) and I believe, Sam with the white feet.
Ready and raring to go
And they're off!
Coming round the final bend...
And she does it!
A video of the race, just for you.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9B4grqy6DA[/youtube]
After the excitement of the pig race we headed over to the first low-quality maze of the day, The (Festive) Dungeon
It was probably the best of the day despite it being really awful. It was completely dark...like completely, and wound around quite a bit. There we some very thin door sections, bean bags at boob height, and other obstacles to stop tall, big people getting around, so I did struggle. It was good fun though.
Next was the Farmhouse of Fear, another maze, but this one was advertised as having live actors!
This maze also featured coats!
The live actors, it turns out, were non existent. There were a couple of displays of not very much and then it was over...the best thing about it was that it ended in a cafe.
Just next door was another maze, the Candy Cane Maze.
This one was themed to like a circus tent and, again, wasn't very thrilling. The walls all looked the same and you had to find a doorway through all the drapes, it was fun but generally dull. That's low quality mazes for you!
We decided to head over to the main play area. En route we found some round things you sit on and the get pulled along. Nealbie pulled Rach around with quite some speed and then we both pulled Sue around. It was really great fun.
We also found some reindeers that looked remarkably like barrels of hay. Oh and Terry the Tank Engine...
Inside the building with the children's play area was the Trauma Tower. Over the course of the afternoon, I rode with Sue and Ian a total of 8 times, it creates great feelings but we won't go into that.
So finally, we were about to enter the Gladiator's Ring, mmmm...ring.
I obviously couldn't take my camera in but we spent around an hour climbing, falling, crashing, laughing, sweating, hurting, sliding, ball pitting, it was really really great fun, especially those vertical slides <3
Lunch time had come and gone by now so we went outside in search of creds <3 The Big Apple (which isn't called Big Apple, I can't be bothered to look it up and didn't take a photo) we had already been told would be shut for the day. Spite. So we headed over to the Buffalo...which sat there, sombrely, coated in frost...it didn't look good. Ian went to find some management to beg and plead...meanwhile...
Boating on a partially frozen lake had to happen! It was **** freezing I can tell you but good fun. They don't exactly go fast so you can't really crash with force but if you lean forward just before impact you can splash your 'friend'.
It was good fun.
Once Ian arrived back he delivered bad news...the cred would remain shut. 2 spites in one day
We next had a wander around Prairie Pete's City, it was frozen solid but ahh well. We all crammed into a church, Ian took a picture but you'll have to ask him nicely for that
There was also a very slippery turntable which was fun too.We went on to visit some animals. Sheep first...
I took my favourite ever picture of a goat
Then decided to take a selfie with him/her...
Next up was ferret racing! One was called Dash, I have no idea what the other was called, sorry. Dash won though.
Have a video of this momentous race.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_DiFyKcLbU[/youtube]
Once that was done we saw some magnificent peacocks
And a monkey called Threesome
But then it was time for the final race of the day, the sheep race. To distinguish, that had different coloured swirls. Some of them were quite rowdy before the race started, jumping up and kicking each other, but eventually the race began.
There was a hold up half way around when the sheep realised they didn't want to touch the puddle, after a minute or so, one finally braved it so the rest followed.
And the final video of this report:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qx--LriNG5I&feature=youtu.be[/youtube]
Not much else happened after that, we sashayed over to the car park where Ian, Rebel and I said our goodbyes to everyone and headed back down south.
It was a really great day, despite the no show from the creds. It is certainly a park I would return to, it's just a little park that CFers get so much out of.
Thanks so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it
