Disappointing Books With Fancy Covers

[Will]

So, a few of us have been having a bit of a play-fight this week over my insistence that everything at Phantasialand pretends to be better than it actually is; and that got us thinking about the many rides out there that LOOK good, but just plain aren't.

A few nominations from me to kick us off:
Colossus (arguably the best themed coaster in the UK, if it was looked after)
Smiler (I liked it a lot better before I actually rode it)
Furious Baco (Yeah, you know the view I mean... and the fact that it rides like a sack of spanners)
Daemonen (Looks decent enough, but it's a total waste of steel and B&M should be ashamed)
Every SLC ever (Float like butterflies, sting like ****ing hornets)

 

[James F]

Boomerang(s) (For it's prominence in "Jersey Shore")
Top Scans/Star Shapes (Rag Doll: The Ride)
The Big One (Makes for a pretty forum background)
Almost every Arrow Coaster
Hollywood Rip-Ride Rocket (what a load of meh)
Expedition Everest (Theming is awesome, but what a slog)
G-Force (Airtime hill with no airtime, wacky elements that looked cool, but added nothing)
Stampida (Tomahawk is where the fun is)

 

[Will]

G-Force (Airtime hill with no airtime, wacky elements that looked cool, but added nothing)

Excellent shout - I was a fairly 'inexperienced' enthusiast at the time, but I was SO disappointed with G-Force. Looked very interesting and was one of the worst coasters I've ever ridden.

 

[Heth]

A general vote for all vekoma or arrow corkscrew rides. The view down the double corkscrews look gorgeous, but are typically best appreciated from the ground.

 

[Matt N]

A possibly controversial nominee from me is Olympia Looping. It looks stunning from off-ride, with the loops forming a very visually pleasing picture and the lights and general design of the ride making for a very satisfying display!

However, I wasn’t especially enamoured with the on-ride experience, with it being a bit too intense for my liking and also having terribly painful shoulder bars.

Other than that, I agree with many of the nominees already discussed.

 

[JoshC.]

Some excellent shouts already.

Colossus is a peak Tussauds ride, with great pathway interaction and the coaster feeling so integrated into its surroundings. I would have loved if the original plan to have the queue entrance through the cobra roll came to fruition. Just a shame it's a bit rubbish as a ride.

Olympia Looping looks great and has all the added spectacle, but again, very meh.

Vekoma Boomerangs and SLCs seem to tick all the right boxes, but just fall flat on their backside for the most part.


My shout would be Bandit at Movie Park Germany. It looks like a nice enough wooden coaster. More importantly, when you're on the ride, it looks like you're going to get airtime every few seconds. But just...nothing. Well, nothing except the smell of manure. Shame.

 

[Changa]

Infusion

Every SLC ever (Float like butterflies, sting like ****ing hornets)

Infusion deserves to be called out in particular. I dont think its bad, but the view that you get of the drop from the bridge is awesome and sells the ride more than other SLCs.

The Big One is as imposing and spectacular as a ride can look, both in and out of the park. Though its hard to see janky trackwork and guest's spines dislocating from a distance.

 

[Hyde]

Twister II - Elitch Gardens
Boomerangs and Invertigos
Racer - Kennywood
Thunderhawk - Dorney Park
Backlot Stunt Coasterses
Slinky Dog Dash - Hollywood Studios
Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit - USO
Goliath - SFMM
Dueling Dragons, RIP - IOA

 

[SkyrushSimp]

Def any ride at at Dollywood. Especially Mystery Mine

 

[EmmaUK]

Dragon Khan. Lovely fancy cover to that book. Great area its in, station looks lovely. Beautiful track with so many great vantage points. But rides like pants. Such a shame really as back in the 90s it was great. Back then it was lovely fancy cover and great content. But like much from the 90s time hasn't been kind

 

[Indy]

The Dark Knight coasters - They managed to take the gold standard for wild mouse coasters and make them unpleasant. How are these Mack wild mice so jerky?

Any Intamin Zac Spin or S&S Free Spin - Sure, they all look fun.

Wonder Woman Golden Lasso - Looks so good, and sometimes it is, but some of the worst trains in the history of roller coasters really try to ruin this ride.

Galactica when it had VR - You were required to wear the goggles which were quite painful for people like myself who have a large schnoz.

Euro-Mir - It should be so fun, but it is sooo rough for what it is.

Intimidator - It looks like such a fun ride and the little bit of theming is a nice touch but it is so meh.

90's Morgan hyper coasters - They are really big mine trains.

 

[Hyde]

Oh good point on Intimidator @Indy. I remember being fascinated that they even had dedicated staff wardrobe only for Intimidator.

 

[Trax]

SLCs in general are a real offender here. They look so interesting from a GP point of view, but the best ones ride bad, and the worst ones are about as comfortable as a medieval stretching rack.

Taron ist one for the list as well. It looks so amazing and intense, but once you are riding it, you discover that it is "just" a pretty decent ride. Don't get me wrong, it is far away from being a bad ride, but for me it just looks better than it rides.

Silver Star is the only B&M Hyper I've done and usually I just feel like it's the worlds tallest family coaster. Little to no airtime, at best average positives in the valleys, it just doesn't do it for me. To be honest, my last rides were way better though, maybe I just had a lucky day. I will check in June.

Colossos @ Heide-Park was one insane wooden roller coaster. Huge Ejector hills, with sustained and intense ejector and real intense positives. There are reasons why El Toro took some pages from Colossos' book. However, upon the retracking, the park has installed a few trimms which just kill the last 5% the ride used to give. The intense Ejector hills are now Flowjector ones, and the intense valleys have gotten just "normal" from their intensity. It is still enjoyable, but it looks better than it actually is.

 

[Pokemaniac]

Supersonic Odyssey at Berjaya Times Square. Doesn't this look awesome?

(Wikimedia Commons)

And then you ride it, and it's a meandering mess. It plods slowly around the space, then builds up some speed ... and immediately crawls to a halt as you hit a set of brakes. Just as you start to think it's getting good, it's over. It's a beautiful ride that does a lot with a challenging location, but it's such a disappointing bore to ride.

 

[cocoa]

^couldn't agree more, although I am still fond of it just for uniqueness.

I weirdly disagree on the hollywood ripriderockit. Maybe because I had such incredibly low expectations for it, I actually found it surprisingly fun, despite all its many many obvious flaws. The only crap bit IMO was the horrid queue line.

In terms of coaster enthusiasm, I was very hyped for kawasemi at tobu zoo and found it extraordinarily meh. Not bad by any means, just not that interesting either. could be they were running it badly though.

In terms of visual appeal, pretty much any togo, but especially Bandit. Looks bonkers, rides like a mine train.