Hey Tom, can you ask your boy Captain Checkdown not to curl up in the fetal position every time Andy Reid asks him to throw the ball more than 10 yards downfield? Because I need Dwayne Bowe to score more than FOUR GODDAMN POINTS!
I'm 0-3. Time for a good old fashioned profane rant!
**** you Steven Jackson, for being old and getting hurt the second I trade for you. Aw, binky got a bwuised thigh... poor baby, better sit out a few weeks! I hope JizzRod never gives your starting job back and you never win a Super Bowl, you overrated twat.
**** you Marshawn Lynch, for not scoring a single TD against the freaking Jaguars! What, did somebody hide your pregame Power Skittles or something? You're BEAST MODE for Christsakes and that defense is softer than Charmin Ultra... what the hell?!?!
**** you David Wilson, for fumbling your way out of a starting gig that was practically giftwrapped for you. All you had to do was not screw up, but apparently that is too much to ask. I never should have drafted you, you damn dirty Hokie. And while I'm at it, a hearty **** you to Tom Coughlin, for being a crotchety old fart who is incapable of forgiveness and compassion, and for never letting players out of your (evidently) palatial doghouse.
And **** you Jim Harbaugh, for running Colin Kaepernick out there by himself and basically saying "Hey, we haven't done a damn thing to give you any quality receivers aside from an 84-year old Anquan Boldin, but go win the game anyway!"
But good job, Justin Tucker! You were my highest-scoring player last week! Fifty gold stars and a pat on the butt for you!
.... my kicker was my highest-scoring player. Let that sink in for a moment. :cry:
Also Danny, I still can't stand Alex Smith. Yes he won't hurt you, but he sure as hell won't do anything to impress you. He is the last girl at the bar at 2am, she may not be the prettiest, but she will do what you need her to to score.