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WTF Merlin?

Discussion in 'General Discussions & Opinions' started by nadroJ, Feb 23, 2015.

  1. gavin

    gavin Administrator Staff Member Administrator Moderator Social Media Team CF Award Winner 2016

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    I don't think it would be a terrible idea for them to offer some kind of package deal to be honest. Advertise something at the London Eye, Dungeons, Sea Life etc. Some kind of multi-attraction ticket with a shuttle bus from central London and back. I mean, they've got similar for Legoland Florida (different market I know).

    As people have said, nobody is going to London to visit a theme park, and most international tourists wouldn't even know that Thorpe Park is there, so despite being "easy" to get to via train, it won't even be on the radar. A lot will end up at the central London attractions though. Is Thorpe even advertised at those? Genuine question since I have no idea, but it would seem like a glaring omission if they don't at least have a few posters/leaflets around.

    Despite not being a priority, people will often find themselves with an extra day or two.

    I kind of see it like Park Asterix in a way. Nobody is going to Paris to visit Asterix, but they have bus/ticket combos from the city centre. I'm sure they get mostly locals using those, but they must grab a bit of tourist trade as well.
     
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  2. Robert.W

    Robert.W Active Member

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    So... Merlin are now trying to sell the fact that they haven’t spent any money on theming at all for their latest accommodation offering, the Stargazing Pods, by listing one of the new accommodation’s features as “Themed in a minimalistic style”. :eek: Another one of the “features” includes “Discover[ing] the Resort's own constellations” so in other words looking up at the f***ing sky. :mad: I’d like to say they can do better, but I quite frankly don’t believe they can.
     
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  3. CSLKennyNI

    CSLKennyNI Well-Known Member

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    £123 to sleep in a shed...
     
  4. Howie

    Howie Well-Known Member

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    ^I ... erm... I... nope, I got nothing.
     
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  5. davidm

    davidm Well-Known Member

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    I know, just look at the state of that;
    [​IMG]

    I know we stayed in various huts in Poland at the weekend, but they were cheap as chips and had at least room to swing several dead cats.

    The single cots look about as wide as a shelf. Blimey.
     
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  6. Ethan

    Ethan Well-Known Member

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    I imagine even though he hasn't been yet, this is Shawn Sanbrooke's new favourite hotel and "Alton are on for a real winner here."
     
  7. Hixee

    Hixee Flojector Staff Member Administrator Moderator CF Award Winner 2016

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    £123! One hundred and twenty three pounds?! PER NIGHT!

    I could BUILD that for less than it costs to stay for a weekend.

    :emoji_zipper_mouth: me. They should be embarrassed.
     
  8. Peet

    Peet Well-Known Member

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    ^ not including a towel! Is that a joke!?
     
  9. SilverArrow

    SilverArrow Well-Known Member

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    Bet the toilet is half a mile away as well.
     
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  10. zazobo

    zazobo Well-Known Member

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    Bahahaha. Oh Alton....
     
  11. Robbie

    Robbie Well-Known Member

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    I had thought they were built with some sort of special ceiling so you could look at the sky from your bed. But, no, if you want to go "stargazing" just, er, step outside and stand in a field. Alton, you are spoiling us.
     
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  12. jayjay

    jayjay Well-Known Member

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    I mean, I can definitely see a hipster demographic going for this even if it's expensive.
     
  13. caffeine_demon

    caffeine_demon Well-Known Member

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    Maybe they come with one of these:
     
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  14. caffeine_demon

    caffeine_demon Well-Known Member

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    I had a look at prices for a single saturday night in May for 1 - £150.. Think I'll pass!
     
  15. davidm

    davidm Well-Known Member

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  16. vaugc002

    vaugc002 Well-Known Member

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    Bleurgh Merlin are getting tiring aren't they
     
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  17. Thecoasterrus

    Thecoasterrus Well-Known Member

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    Sent from my G3221 using Tapatalk
     
  18. caffeine_demon

    caffeine_demon Well-Known Member

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    Whoopie - I can hardly wait!
     
  19. Benenen

    Benenen Well-Known Member

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    Mixed feelings on Fright Nights this year but on the whole this post deserves to go in the 'wtf Merlin' topic. Started off with Vulcan Peak, it's awful. You have a bag on your head and follow a rope for a few minutes during which time there were no actors and the only effect was a gust of wind.

    I really enjoyed Living Nightmare. The first half is nicely themed and the actors were very grabby and hands on. If this lasted more than three minutes and had a proper ending it would be a fantastic maze.

    The outdoor mazes all merge into one for me. Blair Witch was the best of the bad bunch, actually has proper scenes and scripted scares this year. The forest sections make you feel isolated which the previous iteration of this maze failed to do. Dead Creek Wood is possibly the worst maze I've ever done. Barely any theming, a boring infection plot and a few coughing actors. Why is budget being spent on bland nonsense like this? Platform 15 limps on for another year, people seem to rave about the more recent versions of this but I don't get it. Yes the house section is awesome, it's very creepy with some great scares but it takes up about 5% of the runtime. The rest is dull, especially the overly long intro and the tunnel where the main scares come from the fact there's string hanging down from the ceiling. It's such an uninteresting maze but you just know it will return for its fourth season next year. Do or Die had some potential (nice chainsaw scene and some dark smoke filled containers where you couldn't see your hand in front of your face) but there were some tedious outdoor sections and black walls, it looked really unfinished.

    Highlight for me was Saw. I had a great run through at the back with Pig Face stalking me through the freezer stroking my ear and the bloke in the Saw 4 scene pulling back my hood as I tried to exit.

    So not great on the maze front this year. Only 2/7 are traditional themed indoor mazes and both are good but not a patch on the stuff at Towers and Tulleys. The rest while having some interesting moments are on the whole low quality and when this is the majority of the event there's a problem.

    Operations were fantastic though, two trains on all the coasters during the day with walk on queues. Such a rarity for Thorpe but I loved it. Waited ten minutes or less for most of the mazes too which was great.

    If you're from down South just go to Tulleys.
     
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2018
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  20. CSLKennyNI

    CSLKennyNI Well-Known Member

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    Trailer for the £123 plain sheds...
    ...And Nick Varney says Merlin are world leaders in theme park accommodation.:rolleyes:
     
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