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Robb Alvey's Theme Parks of Asia Tour!

robbalvey

Roller Poster
Ok time to come back to this thread and come back STRONG!!!! How about a little Tobu Zoo and a Kawasemi video as an "apology" for not getting to these updates sooner? ;)

Anyway, Tobu Zoo is home to a new for 2008 Intamin "Mega Lite" called Kawasemi. All I can say about this amazing coaster is that it's all the power and airtime of Superman: Ride of Steel and Expedition GeForce packed into about 1/4 of the size. It's absolutely incredible! I really hope parks pick up on this little ride as the perfect "small coaster" that isn't too intimidating for older guests and really delivers.

The rest of the park we did a quick run through. Got on Regina which is still very good, although a bit rougher this year. The Togo Looping Mouse was down for maintenance which is a bummer, but like we've always said be prepared for coasters to be closed in Japan. I do think Kawasemi more than made up for this! =)

I still think that if you're in the area of Tokyo be sure to hit up this park. Even without Kawasemi it was a great place to visit and now it's got, IMO, the best steel coaster in Japan!

First off, check out a video of Kawasemi. If you haven't seen one of these new Intamin "Mega-Lite" coaster in action, you HAVE to see this:
http://www.themeparkreview.com/tprtv/play.php?vid=kawasemi_1

And now the photos...

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This is what the group looks like all hyped up on caffeine and Japanese crack!

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Still hyped up there is NO WAY we are going to turn down the opprotunity for a group photo in front of the coaster-morphing, huge knockers hot chick in the train station.

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My god STOP GIVING THESE PEOPLE CAFFEINE!!!

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Ok, let's pause for a moment. This is a lift hill shot, yes. And it's for those lift hill enthusiast dorks, yes, yes...but let's just point out that this is the lift to a coaster that will make our group scream with ultimate Intamin pleasure for the next hour or so. Read on...

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The first drop may not look like much, but OMG does it deliver!

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Are you wet yet?

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It's just a mess of track everywhere!

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Three airtime filled bunny hills in a row, thank you very much.

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Mmmm....

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Dave looks happy...like a school boy who just found the hidden key to dad's liquor cabinet.

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Just look at it...perfect curves and hills. Dolly Parton would be proud!

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EXTREME AIRTIME AND GUM LINE!!!

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Did we mention it goes under water?

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Everyone's hands up? Check!

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I beleive they are having a good time.

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Three sexy bunny hills!

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It's like there two of them...I wish there were two of them!

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You guys don't mind riding like, 17 or 18 more times, right?

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Wow! That is like the meanest Bob face I've ever...EVER seen!!!

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Regina...she's sexy...and rough!

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She'll give you a good beating but some men like that kind of thing! Yowza!

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The park has a lot of nice curves.

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Yay! Everyone is either happy or invisible!

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"Hi, this is Robb and Martin, and I just want to let you all know that we normally don't look this bad...seriously...this could be the worst picture of us ever taken!!!"

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OMG! P-O-VEEEEEEE!

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Ok so maybe Martin always looks like that! =)

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Bob and his fan club!

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"We are the world's thumb wrestling champions!"

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Robb and Yoshi will challenge Bob and Tim to a thumb wrestle duel!

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As you can see Dave and Jeff also want in on this thumb wrestling action. They are showing off their goods.

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Ok, enough of the other rides, did we mention this is one of the best coasters in the world?

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Amazing...

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It's like Superman, Goliath, and Expedition GeForce shrunk down and cute!

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Three little bunny hops sitting in a row...

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"Itarian"

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The world can never have too many Kawasemi photos.

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"I would like to introduce you to my robot ride-on beetle!"

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OMG. Is he finally....dead????

--Robb
 

ECG

East Coast(er) General
Staff member
Administrator
robbalvey said:
The world can never have too many Kawasemi photos.
Without a doubt! She's a beauty. Now I gotta go back to Japan. Thanks Robb.
 

Pokemaniac

Mountain monkey
Staff member
Administrator
Moderator
Agreed, the Mega-Lites are awesome. Piraten would propably have been my no. 1 coaster if I got to ride it at the very front/back and without rain. We were too busy that day...

Now well, it's still my second favourite.

On the other hand, Japan seems to be a country full of medium-good coasters, and some truly good ones. I believe they're all fun (apart from those that try to shake your brain out through your nostrils), even if they aren't as forceful. And some of those parks looks like the materialization of some weird Internet meme.
 

robbalvey

Roller Poster
Next up was Toshimaen!

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Our morning started off with breakfast...except this is NOT what we ate!

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"I think I'll settle for the plain bread, please!"

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Mmm...KidTums goes MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH on the yummy plain bread.

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You guys look so happy and we're only in the train station!

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Hello everyone! Face the camera and look happy.

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TPR Takeover on Mystery Zone!!!

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We pretty much had the Arrow Corkscrew to ourselves...in fact, we had the entire park to ourselves!

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Here's a shot for those Arrow lovers out there.

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Japan is so awesome. Many of the coasters are plush and carpeted!

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Cyclone aka "The Log Ride!"

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"It doesn't matter if it's rough...your butt will be plenty cushioned!"

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"Everyone loves a log!"

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Here goes the log ride...

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OMG! TREE CHOPPER!!!

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The log ride is certainly a crowd pleaser.

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Every drop you have to duck from the trees!

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I just love it when my log goes into a dark tunnel.

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Condor...yup!

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"Hello world, this is my 250th Condor credit and I'm going to rush home and post to condorcounter.com right after this ride."

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There is just something about the Japanese warning signs that makes me laugh!

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Hooray! For crazy Huss flat rides!

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You all look happy now, but when that bar closes and squashes your nuts and boobs into oblivion your going to have a MUCH different look on your face! =)

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This ride is "Creepy Trio of Clowns" approved!

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This is the log ride aka "Cyclone"

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It's their "O Face!"

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"Same"

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"Hey someone get this human out of my a$$!!!"

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"We beat up 10 children to get on this ride!"

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Sadly, the Schwarzkopf shuttle loop is still down for the count.

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For those of you who are Japanese train fanatics, there was a model train fair going on today.

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Tables and tables full of train toys and other random stuff.

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You could even buy the JR station and train signs, light boxes, control panels, and more!

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There was TONS of it!

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I'm not even sure what some of this stuff is, but Jeff Johnson sure would have loved to be here!

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Yay! We get back to a REAL train and head to our next park!
 

ECG

East Coast(er) General
Staff member
Administrator
Love that "Log Ride"! And the signage in Japan is balls. :lol:
 

robbalvey

Roller Poster
Next up! Yomiuriland!

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Yay! Here we are at Yomiuriland again! Not much has changed since our last visit, but this is still a very nice Tokyo park to check out when you're in town.

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Unfortunately today weather would not be the best for us, we were very lucky that Yomiuriland kept all the coasters open in the rain.

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No matter how many times you see it, "The Wish of The Emergency" never gets old!

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Here is the park from the skyway...as you can see there is NOBODY here!!!

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When you see the funky dogs ass, you're at the main entrance! =)

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Bow down to Mr. funky dog! Do it! DO IT NOW!!!!

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"GRRR!!! I am the Bandit!!! I will steal your money and rape you of your SOUL!!! GRRR!!!!!"

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LIFT HILL SHOT!!!

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The Bandit is a seriously fun Togo coaster (yes I said that!) If it didn't have the OTSR's it might actually kick even more ass!

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Hooray for meandering all over the park!

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Like I said, there is NOBODY here!

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We see you funky dog!

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"ENT" is Japanese for "DIE!"

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Remember, NO DUCKS on White Canyon!

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Yes, White Canyon is that RCCA wood coaster death machine that is ranked one of the top ten WORST coasters in the world!

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These "phone booth coffin cars" may be the last thing you ever see.

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"No, really guys...it IS that bad!"

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Dave made it out, but now he's permanently slumped for the rest of his life!

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Ouch!

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We're actually not whores, this is actually a full sized adult coaster!

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OK, maybe we're just sad and pathetic liars! =)

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See! They all feel VERY good about themselves!

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I know what the "Standing and Loop" part is, but what the hell is "MOMOnGA???"

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One side of the track is a stand up train.

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Martin prepares his "Human hand rain shield" to fight off the what feels like needles in your eye!

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The other side is a sit down. (Don't worry guys, after White Canyon this will feel like a B&M!)

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Yay! SL Coaster! It's like a really big kiddie coaster that doesn't seem to do much of anything.

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"We got in all the credits!"

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BIG EYE! BIG EYE! BIG EYE!!!

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Yomiuriland also has a number of strange walk through and dark rides.

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Don't be fooled by their pale appearances...there is some wacky s**t going on inside these buildings!

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I see a demon head, and upside down human leg, and some sheets. Yeah...

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It's like "Thomas the Brickwork..."

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We have to cut our day a little short at Yomiuriland so we can beat the rain to the next park.

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Say goodbye to the Bandit...we'll miss you!

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Goodbye SL Coaster...we still don't quite understand you...

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..and HELLO to "Ghetto Umbrella Man!" See you at the next park!
 

robbalvey

Roller Poster
I'm now convinced that Fuji-Q is the worst run amusement park in the world. We have had three visits there over four years and each visit has been equally as horrible but for different reasons.

This time around it was mostly weather related. Yes, the ride capacity and slow crew issues were still there, but on this visit I saw some of the worst park policies and operations I've ever seen. Let me just describe our day....

On the day of our visit we knew there would be rain. It was fore-casted for the bulk of the rain to start about 4pm and thanks to the nearly perfect Japanese weather forecasting that's exactly when it started. But up until then we were supposed to get patches of good weather here and there. And that's what we got.

We also know that Fuji-Q has a tendency to shut down almost everything in the rain, even a slight mist. Which is completely retarded because for a country where it rains 300 days out of the year and where most of the other parks seem to be able to operate their attractions in the rain, why has Fuji-Q purchased rides that can't be operated even in a gentle mist (so they claim.)

We arrived at the park with a good amount of time to spare which is good because the line to get into the park stretched so far back that I'm sure it took some people two hours to get into the park with the only 4 ticket booths they had open. (watch the video, the clip at the beginning with the long line is the line to get in the park!!!) Luckily we were in the front of that line. Score one for TPR trips always getting to parks early!

Once we were in the park and we could see what rides were operating I told the group "Ok, it's going to rain...at the moment it would appear that Dodonpa and Fujiyama are running, but Eejanaika was not. You guys now need to make a choice...do you want to jump on Dodonpa or Fujiyama or try to wait it out for Eejanaika knowing that one is the most temperamental in the rain." Some of the group headed for Dodonpa, the other half went to Eejanaika.

I was with the group that went to Eejanaika. We got to the ride to find it closed. We were told it wasn't due to the weather but due to the block checking taking a long time (not surprising since Magic Mountain's also seems to open late quite often)

About 10 minutes later they let us in line, we board the train, and are on the first train out. The rest of our group is on the 2nd train...and then it starts to rain...actually it started to gentle mist!

They closed the ride.

In fact, those two trains were the *only* trains to dispatch that day. We ran off the ride and it started to rain a bit harder. By this time everything was closed. :( Luckily one of the walk through dark rides where you stand in a coffin was open! Oh, yay! Most of the group went and did that, the rest of us had a beer because we needed it to get through our day at Fuji-Q.

Then the weather got a bit better and rides started to re-open. Since the Thomas coaster was right nearby we hit that one up. At this point the rain had stopped but the only coasters open were the Thomas coaster, Fujiyama, and Zola 7.

The group figured it would be best to try for Fujiyama since Zola 7 will run in the rain anyway....We get over to Fujiyama...the line is posted at *three hours* Ugh.

It rains on and off, scattered showers, some scattered clouds and sometimes we even see the sun break through now and then. Oddly enough Fujiyama never shut down even during the scattered rain showers.

There was a point in time where we had no rain for about 90 minutes of the group waiting in that three hour line but nothing else ever re-opened...Wild Mouse, Hamster Coaster, Dodonpa, even the Thomas coaster had finally closed. And like REALLY closed. All crews were sent home and the trains covered up.

It seemed to make no sense that they could operate Fujiyama in rain, but nothing else. Why is this?

And of course they were running Fujiyama as slow as humanly possible. For those who were waiting in the 3 hour line it was PAINFUL. I did some walking around the park while they waited and made even more observations about how horrible this park is run.

For example, why is it they seem to go out of their way to buy low capacity rides? For one of the busiest parks in Japan, why did they buy a Wild Mouse that only seats two people at a time? Why did they get Dodonpa that only seats 8? Their kiddie coaster is one of the smallest I've ever seen and the Hamster Coaster also only seats up to 2 people!

Even the "new for 2008" ride which was a river rapids ride only had boats that held 4 people at a time, and they were only putting 2 per boat! WTF! A park of this size should be buying a river rapids ride that holds 10 to 12 people per boat and sending out a crap load of them.

Anyway, back to our group waiting three hours for Fujiyama...

They have now been waiting over 2 hours and are only at the bottom of the outside ramps (for those of you who know the layout of the park know what I'm talking about.)

All of a sudden...the ride closes. No warning, no reason, the rain hasn't gotten any harder, it's still *exactly* how it was for the last two hours. And it REALLY closed. They shut all the doors and one of the employees even came out and emptied the ticket machines. They told everyone to leave the line.

WTF?!?!

So now after waiting over two hours, we're totally screwed. At this point the group is so frustrated.... We go over to Zola 7..it's another 45 min line. *sigh* Fine. They ride that...we wander around for a bit more hoping more rides open up. The rain hasn't gotten any worse in the past hour and a half and we're all just baffled as to why Fujiyama ran just fine in the rain for 2 hours and then shut down.

We check out the Thomas dark ride, ride the carousel, and wander looking for any open ride. Even the walk through haunted hospital is a *FOUR HOUR* line not including the 45 minute attraction. So if we wanted to do this ride it would be a *FIVE HOUR* commitment! WTF is wrong with this park!??!?! Why do they think it's totally acceptable to offer attractions that are 3 to 5 hours worth of waiting in line?

Now we finally start to get that heavier 4pm rain.

"SCREW THIS PLACE!!!"

Finally we leave....and I really never ever want to come back. I really believe that Fuji-Q is the worst operated park in the world! In all my travels I have never found any place as terrible as this park.

The park is operated like crap, the rides aren't very good, and the crews are just miserable. When the best area in the park is your kiddie land and the best ride is your Thomas the Tank Engine dark ride and everyone can't wait to leave, you really know the place sucks.

Ok, onto photos and a video!

Video:
http://www.themeparkreview.com/tprtv/pl ... uji_q_2008
Note - the footage in this video was taken from three different visit to Fuji-Q because it takes that long to get all the credits in!

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Here is the new entrance to Fuji-Q. We think that Fuji-Q *actually* on fire would be much better than this.

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Make a mental note - Do not fight the bears while at Fuji-Q!

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Yay! We all look so happy! Boy, our attitude will change REAL QUICK!

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Oh, look, they can't get Eejanaika open with the park. Here, let me put on my *shocked* face!

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Finally they get the ride open and let us in. Now let's take a look at how Eejanaika does their loading because it's quite interesting. There are three of these "pens" where everyone has a foot mark to stand on and lockers to put your stuff...

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You put all your crap in the locker and no one else will be in this pen until you get back, so it's nice and safe.

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The trains you can see are the older style X trains with the "pickle forks"

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Note the additional padding that has been added to the restraints! (It needs it!)

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And also additional seat belts.

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Since they have three of these pens, one is always getting ready to load, one pen worth of people is out on the circuit, and the third pen is empty ready to be loaded. It actually works awesome, and this is the *only* ride in the park where they actually have their act together for loading/unloading.

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Of course they can't seem to operate the ride in a gentle mist, which is what happened right after we rode. The coaster looked like this the rest of the day. I will say that my ride this year was much better than last year, but it's still nowhere near as good as X2 is.

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Hmm...with all the rides closed due to the gentle mist, what's the only thing you can do to keep yourself sane in this horrible park?

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DRINK BEER!!!

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Don't be fooled by that sign! This is attraction is actually OPEN! (They just didn't bother to move the sign because, well, why bother, it will just close down in ten minutes anyway...)

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Ooh! We are actually getting a hint of blue sky! Does that mean rides will open? Well, maybe one or two for a VERY short time...I mean, it's is Fuji-Q, they can't possibly have rides open for people to enjoy!

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There is some curious nerdy stuff going on here....

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NERD!!!!! (Really Julie, we love you...but you're a NERD!!!!) =)

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This is pretty much how these two coasters looked the rest of the day. As you can see, it's cloudy...but it's not raining.

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OMG! OMG! OMFG!!! A coaster!!! And it's....it's....OMG! OPEN!!!!

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YES! And *only* a 2 and a half hour line!!! (Well, actually it was 3, but we were being hopeful!)

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We'll get back to those standing in that three hour line later, but for now, let's have a look at the rest of the park. Here is the "new for 2008" rapids ride...

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Ok, can someone please tell me why the f**k this park buys a rapids ride that only seats four people and then only puts two in a boat?!?! Seriously, it's like they are trying so hard to win the "lowest capacity park" award.

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Yay! Only TWO HOURS if you want to ride the new rapids ride! You know, Fuji-Q, Intamin and other companies sell a rapids ride that seats 10 to 12 people per boat and most small parks even have this model. Not sure if ever noticed that.

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Oh, look. Another god-awful capacity ride that only holds TWO people per car...and it's CLOSED. Do you see rain? I don't. But it's Fuji-Q, and Fujiyama is open which means they couldn't possibly have other rides going at the same time.

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Oh, look. The Thomas coaster is closed for "bad weather" which is odd because the weather conditions are EXACTLY the same when we just rode it an hour ago.

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Here's the haunted hospital that everyone goes ga-ga about. It's a 45 minute attraction that only has a four hour line! That's right, if you want to experience this attraction you only have to dedicate *FIVE HOURS* to it. WTF?!?!

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Dave and I decided we would buy some weapons out of the capsule machines for our friends in line so they can shoot who ever is making the line take so long!

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Yup, there is the line...3 hours long...as you can see, the ground is wet, but it's only raining lightly, on and off, can you even see some blue sky hovering over Eejanika. A park like this should be able to operate at least more than *ONE* coaster in a light scattered rain. It's so irresponsible of the park to purchase a collection of rides they can't operate (so they say) in a country where it rains 300 days out of the year. And they make NO EFFORT to try to get any rides open when the rain stops. They just send their crews home. This is the park's fault. And another reason why I feel they are one of the worst run parks in the world.

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The crew decides to use the weapons on themselves because it's a general consensus that suicide may actually be BETTER than being at Fuji-Q.

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"Kill me...please kill me...get me out of this park!"

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Actually, screw that...everyone KILL LAUREN!!!

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Ok, now the biggest WTF of the day. All of a sudden, they just close Fujiyama. No explanation, no nothing. It's been raining on and off the same and they've kept the ride open the entire time. And NOW they decide to close it?!?!?

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And like they REALLY closed it. Shut all the doors, emptied the ticket machines, it was DOWN FOR THE COUNT the rest of the day. Why?!?!

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Ugh, fine...might as well try to get on Zola 7. This coaster is all indoors and I would assume that it's still open! (Please also note - it's NOT RAINING!)

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Yay! We get to shoot stuff! You need to take your aggressions out somehow.

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"Two...that's right...hopefully we'll get at least TWO credits today!" (I think most everyone in the group actually managed to get THREE!!!)

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"I really hope I get to shoot the park manager"

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"Would anyone like more alcohol to get them through their day at Fuji-Q?"

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Hey look! More closed rides! (note while there are scattered clouds in the background, it's NOT RAINING!!!)

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The fog is quite low which is what seems to be causing the gentle mist which keeps all of Fuji-Q's rides closed. You can ALMOST make out Mt. Fuji!

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Lydia, who hates Thomas even decides "I'd rather be in Thomas Land than anywhere else in Fuji-Q!"

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Seriously the dark ride is great!

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And even though the park completely sucks, at least TPR members are still managing to have a bit of fun!

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Even Mr. Angry insect says "Please get me the hell out of Fuji-Q!!!"

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"Cake the Pocket" is better than anything at Fuji-Q

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Finally about 4pm it starts to rain hard. It makes no sense why the park would basically "pack it up" about 2-3 hours before hand. Why not at least TRY to keep some rides running as long as possible? (I like how someone has stolen the menu to keep dry!) LOL!

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Good thing everyone has that TPR poncho in their goodie bag! =)

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After a craptacular day and one of the worst parks in the world what better way to make it up than to hang out in Tokyo!!!

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Ahh, this is so much better than the lights of Tivoli! =)

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Dave and Eric are proud of themselves...they have successfully bored a poor old Japanese lady to death!

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Wait, I know this place...there is something very amazing near here!

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That's right! MEAT ON STICKS!!!!

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"Screw Fuji-Q...we have meat and beer!!!"

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Suck it down baby!!!

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"Hey Joey! Watch me eat the quail egg!"

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There really isn't anything better than this...and certainly NOT at Fuji-Q!
 

Ian

From CoasterForce
Staff member
Administrator
Moderator
Social Media Team
Anybody else see the passing resemblance to Pet Shop Boys singer/songwriter, Neil Tennant?

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Neil Tennant

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Robb Alvey

Entertaining report so far! LOL at the "no bear fighting" sign.
 

robbalvey

Roller Poster
Next Stop on the TPR Tokyo Tour...Hanayashiki!!!

This is one bizarre, but AWESOME park! It's smack in the middle of the city (in the Asuska area) with some amazing looking temples and street markets surrounding it.

The park itself houses the "Oldest coaster in Japan" as well as some other cool, messed up, awesome attractions. It's one of those little "gem" parks where you have to try to see and do everything!

We must now look at photos...

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Here we are arriving at Hanayashiki...looks innocent from the front, right? This park was amazing! It was like the Bon Bon Land or Klotten of Japan!

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Pretty gardens, looks good so far!

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First up was the "Roller Coaster", and this one is the oldest in Japan built in 1953.

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TPR Gang is ready to roll!

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The park manager tells us these trains are brand spankin' new! And they look it!

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Although they aren't kind to long legs! =)

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It's ok Dave, I'm sure you've been in rougher positions! :D

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Here is what the oldest coaster in Japan looks like!

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In very much the "Blackpool fashion" you can see how the rides and shops are built on different levels to help save space.

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Japanese Fun Fun Ride!

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The park is plopped right down in the middle of the city! (I just really wanted to use the word 'plop')

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Here we have a look at the rest of the park. Yes it's small, but it's some quirky awesome fun!

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First drop! Can you guys take it?

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The faces of joy!

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Yay for the oldest Japanese coaster tunnels!

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It almost looks like you're going right under someone's house!

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On one side of the street, some random buildings, on the other side, Japan's oldest coaster!

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"We love the ride....but we can't feel our legs!"

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Still nowhere near as old as Jeff Johnson!

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Religious experience on the Space Shot or bowel movement...you decide!

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"Ok, quick...everyone do your best 'scanners' impression!"

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The rotating house was a bit...um.... "cozy?"

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Next up was the "Sit around the table in the dark and listen to weird stuff being pumped into your ears" attraction.

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The camera flash reveals that in the dark, we all make really dorky faces!

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"Hello, I'm the funny blue troll monster. Please come inside my maze torture and insanity."

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But first, RANDOM BOOBS!!!

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The maze of wackiness including passages made for Oompa Loompas and random hanging foliage.

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That's a lot of rusty steps!

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MUST! GRAB! BOOOOOOOB!

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"I'd say she's at least a D-Cup."

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"GRRR!!!! I'm ANGRY lion guy...GIMME SOME CANDY!"

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Like I said, Dave has been in worst positions! =)

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PUSH...DAVE! PUSH!!!!

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OMG! Now there are two of those hideous creatures!

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Um...what...is.....THIS?

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OMG! OMG! OMFG!!! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?!?

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PEE CAM!!!!

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I think it makes sense to transition from little boy fairy peeing on passers by to the crepe lady...yeah.

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Ok, forget the crepe and the lady...I WANT YOUR DOMOKUN!!!!

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"I'm CRRRAAAAZZZZZY EVIL MCP LOOKING DARK RIDE HEAD...GIMMME SOME AMERICANS!"

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Yo lady statue, wassup?

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Not even sure what to say here.

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It's one of them rock-n-roller rides...in the shape of outer space!

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"You know what goes good with a wacky park like this? BEER!"

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Just outside the park are some awesome Japanese buildings.

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Japanese temple-looking thing..CHECK!

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And a HUGE street market is here also. The whole area was awesome!

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Cube fans, rejoice!

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The entrance to the market.

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Godzilla Sperm?

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Dear Hanayashiki! TPR says "THANK YOU" for having one of the most awesome bizarre parks in the world! (And special thank you to Takashi for helping us out!)
 

robbalvey

Roller Poster
Since we were doing some credit whoring today, we made a brief stop at Sea Paradise for two reasons: Blue Fall and Helix: The Ride, aka "Surf Coaster!" Both rides are awesome and well worth the train ride out to Sea Paradise...

Onto some photos....

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Hey everyone! You all excited about Blue Fall?

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KidTums is already knows how to ride the train!

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Fuk-U-Ura...this is not our stop!

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Yay! Our stop is dolphin-safe!

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Here we have "Helix: The Ride."

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Surf Coaster has to be one of the best Togo coasters in the world!

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It has airtime, it doesn't hurt, but most importantly it has *two* helices!

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Yup, that's a Surf Coaster photo!

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There is giant helix #1.
(We see you Blue Fall!)

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There is Giant Helix #2!

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Yup.

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A moment of silence for the "Boat Jumpers" please...

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This is where they would do their thing...

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Ahh, now to what we came here for...BLUE FALL!!!

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Yes, that would be a 330 foot tall Intamin drop tower! Watch out for the "fake drop!" ;)

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Natural reaction to Robb naked.

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Mmm....so pretty!

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They all look so happy! They have NO IDEA what they are getting themselves into!

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Bye guys! Good luck! =)

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"Honey...I love you almost as much as Blue Fall."

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Group photo in the Ice House!

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"Whatever you're going to do to me...please make it QUICK!!!"

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Um...are you seeing the same thing *I* am seeing?!??!

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Choose wisely!

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Awww....you have chosen poorly! All your skin will now fall off.

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Wow, the Japanese have a strange way of getting their bowling balls!

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Oh wait...

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Anyone remember this ride from Magic Mountain?

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Pinocchio says "Eat lots of Frozen Coke!"

Next stop was Yokohama Cosmoworld which I still feel is one of the "prettiest" parks in the world. There is no denying this place has an AWESOME setting! Especially at night. Have a look....

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Today it was KidTums turn to get us to our next park! She's got the directions, she's ready to lead us!

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Wait! She wants us to do morning calisthenics before we hit up the next park???

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"STEP ON THE BUG!!! STEP ON THE BIG BUG!!!! Before it gets to the children...."

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See Comoworld during the day is nice...

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...and the setting right in the middle of the city is fantastic...

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...but it's at night when this park REALLY comes alive!

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The park is located on both sides of the bay. The Ferris wheel and "Diving Coaster" is located on one side...

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...and there are some flat rides and the kiddie coaster are located on the other. It's a short walk between the two.

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Enough pretty lights talk...let's ride a roller coaster!

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Yes, Diving Coaster is pink...very pink...

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You guys all ready for the pink diving coaster?

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"Dive! Dive! Take her down easy!"

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And there they go! Pink and diving!

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Even the trains have glowey lights!

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Diving coaster is ICE BAT APPROVED!

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I'm not even sure what this is, but damn it looks awesome!

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Why do we keep bringing these maniacs on our trips with us? (Except Lauren...she's cool.)

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Seriously though, while Diving Coaster isn't the greatest coaster in the world, the park really is amazing!

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Everywhere you look everything glows!

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This place must have been a lighting designers wet dream!

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And in addition to the awesome lights, Cosmoworld is also home to some REALLY wacky dark rides! You guys ready?

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This one they almost didn't want us to ride because it's all in Japanese and they were afraid we wouldn't understand the story...

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Who needs to speak Japanese to understand "BOOBS!!!!"

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This dark ride is "Dolphin Safe"

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There is even something for our gay contingent to look at!

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But most importantly...BOOBS!!!!

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"So you guys ready to go on the ride with boobs and half naked dudes while holding a phallic object?"

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CAPTION CONTEST!!!! EMAIL DAN YOUR CAPTION!!! mrt0ad13@aol.com
The first 10 people to have their caption posted will get a TPR Bag-O-Crap! Be sure to email him your mailing address too!

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Why are these dudes in every Japanese shooting dark ride?

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Even KidTums got to play this one!

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Cosmoworld is also one of the homes to the original "Meat Animals" and especially "Meat Cow."

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No, Dave is not dead. Although he looks dead. He is actually overwhelmed with joy and happiness that he has found Meat Cow. You just can't tell because joy and happiness in Dave looks the same as death.

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These "Meat Animals" tell you what meat parts are included. There is Meat Cow, Meat Pig, Meat Fish, Meat Chicken, Mean Human (yes, that's right), and now the brand new Meat Holstein which is a descendant of Meat Cow.

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Ok time to head over to the other side of the park! Get your jet packs ready to FLY!!! (Yes, they have Jet Packs in Japan because they are so advanced.)

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The other side of the park looks just as awesome!

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Lots of lights and dizzy stuff.

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You guys ready for your "Family Banana Coaster" credit? (I don't make up the names of these rides I swear!!!)

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Yay! Banana credit!

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See! Even the Banana Coaster has more theming that most US parks!

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And what does every TPR member do after a day of coasters? That's right! Close one eye and stick your tongue out!

Thanks for reading!!! One of the most bizarre parks EVER is up next!

--Robb
 

robbalvey

Roller Poster
Our last stop before Tokyo Disney was the "Tokyo Teleport" area which has a ton of amusements, shopping and lots of crazy stuff!

One of the best arcades with tons of capsule machines is located here, Sega Joypolis is also across from the station at a huge entertainment complex called "Tokyo Decks."

Also housed in that complex is this update's showcase destination "Muscle Park." Some of you may remember Muscle Park from last year's update, but we made a very quick visit. This year now that we know more about the place we spent some time and all I have to say is that this is a *MUST SEE* if you are into some awesome 'wacky' places to check out and have fun at while in Japan.

Onto some photos....

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We head out to "Tokyo Teleport" on a very crowded JR train!

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"Why are all the Japanese taller than me?"

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Tokyo Teleport is an amazing place. It houses lots of amusement areas, shopping malls, etc, etc...

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Today we challenge MUSCLE PARK!!!

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Muscle Park is home to the official "Sasuke" course which for those of you may not know, is called "Ninja Warrior" here in the USA!

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And yes, for women to compete you gotta chop your nails!

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Elissa's "s**t eating grin" on the hand bike!

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Mike is the only one of us who was able to defeat the salmon ladder!

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Julie shows off some belly on the arm rings!

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Rich! Just pretend they are donuts and you'll make it!

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Looks like Joey is going to make the hand bike!

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Oooooh! Jew down!

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Elissa is almost at the end of the course!

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OMG! A shark is eating her off screen!!!

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"I might be dead....but I made it!"

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"Almost there... just a couple of seconds..."

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"Raise your hands....if you're SURE!"

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'I am woman! Hear me roar!'

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Yes, Elissa is a Ninja Warrior fanboy!

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Elissa says "I love you Makato Nagano and Shingo Yamamoto!"

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The rest of the park is like Wii Fit on steroids! Watch your balance guys!

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Smooth moves!

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"Every time you press that button, god kills a kitten."

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'With much concentration comes greatness!'

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42 kittens...dead!

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All the games here were awesome! This one you had to press the buttons in a certain pattern as fast as humanly possible.

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"Ranking Park!" Is that anything like the Rankin Bridge?

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It's like IAAPA exploded in Japan!

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And yes, they even had Ninja Warrior for kids!

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More awesome crazy games!

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And GUNS! You can't possibly have a muscle park without guns!

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I'm not even sure what this is, but it's got two balls and a strange looking guy.

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Of course no theme park would be without some kind of eatery.

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And if you're going to work out you need to eat! And this "Monster Burger" is no exception! Have a look at that thing! Each stack is a separate entree!

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Mmmm...and burger that comes in a box that big has to be awesome!

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C'mon guys! Scarf down that Monster Burger! Make Takeru Kobayashi proud of you!

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Two wheels of numbers, a wheel of random geometric shapes...I'm so confused...but it's so awesome!

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Baseball Tic-Tac-Toe....yup!

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They had models of the real Ninja Warrior courses on display.

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Fans of the TV show must be drooling right now!

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Like many other Japanese parks you have to buy tickets for each of the "attractions" (don't worry, it's not as confusing as it looks!)

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This game was awesome! Basically each person (Rich and Elissa here) have a movable piece of track that they have to move while the train is in motion. They move the track piece, pick of a block out of the storage and put the block on the stack. Then they have to move the stack and the track back into place without the stack of blocks falling over. Got it? Let's watch....

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Elissa has a small stack of blocks...track is in place...train came through...looking good!

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Rich's stack is getting bigger, train is coming around faster now...

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Elissa just barely gets the stack in place for the train to safely make it through!

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Woah! Rich has a BIG stack! =)

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Uh oh....this game is getting close now!

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Rich freaks out like a little girl who just got her training wheels off!

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SKLOOSH!!!! Oh no Rich just lost to a girl!

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Ice Bat does NOT approve of this epic fail!

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"Jews don't play sports, man!"

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Elissa versus Rich once again! This time, it's a mental challenge....

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Elissa: "YES!!! I am smarter than a police officer!!!" =)

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Right next door to Muscle Park is Sega Joypolis. Another awesome, crazy, must see attraction at Tokyo Teleport!

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Joypolis is a multi-level indoor amusement park with roller coasters, flat rides, video games, virtual reality and all kinds of crazy stuff.

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Spin Bullet is one of the most brutally messed up must-ride coasters ever!

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"You guys are all about to get raped!"

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but forget about Joypolis....GIVE ME THAT MOUNTAIN OF SUSHI!!!!

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And of course the most amazing attraction in all of Tokyo Teleport...Condomania!!!!

Thanks for reading! Next up...the grand finale of this update! Lots of Tokyo Disney Resort photos!!!

--Robb
 

robbalvey

Roller Poster
And now the part you've all been waiting for! TOKYO DISNEY RESORT!!!

When going through the photos from the trip I normally try to narrow down to about 40 or 50 photos per park. This time around I ended up with just over 200 pictures of Tokyo Disney and I thought "what the hell!" everyone loves to see photos of this amazing park so I'll just post them all!

So here is the first of 4 parts for Tokyo Disney Resort. The photos will be kind of random, but I think that will be part of the fun!

Enjoy!

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Ahhhh...bizarre flavors of popcorn. You'll find this all over Tokyo Disney Resort. Chocolate was "good" but it's no Black Pepper!

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How come Japanese people aren't fat?

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Welcome to Toontown...spooky pumpkin edition!

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The Jolly Trolley mows down about 10 to 15 unsuspecting Japanese each day.

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Watch out for that frog! It spits.

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"How do I get out of this cave???"

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The new Tiki Room doesn't suck as much as the one in Florida....but it still sucks!

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Will the REAL Disney character please step aside...

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Aha! Turns out it was the little Japanese boy! Who knew?

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This fulfills the "Giant Boat with waving people" part of the update.

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Toon Lube.

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No lube needed...it's like throwing a bowling ball down a hallway.

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One of these two is a man.

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SKLOOOSH!

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DisneySea is sexy.

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Hidden something.

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"Every time it eats a child, it has explosive gas."

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"What's that sour taste? Did you pee in there?"

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Tokyo's Space Mountain Rocket Ship make over didn't suck.

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"My God! It's full of stars!"

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"Which one is the sex bed?"

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"Godzilla! Come Quick! Kill Mega Fire Monster!"

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Now that is one BIIIIIIG ball!

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Little men like playing with little boats.

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DisneySea at night. Amazing.

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Aquatopia. The most awesome pointless ride ever!

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It is even more awesome and more pointless at night. Seriously this ride is super cool!

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"Welcome Home!"

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"Dammit, I missed the TPR bus again..."

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"Are you the REAL Alice in Wonderland?"

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Loch Ness Castle.

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BEST. RIDE. EVAR!

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DIE! DIE! DIE!!!!

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Boo to you and you and you....

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This version is better than Disneyland's in California because it's not at Disneyland in California.

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Is it just me or does that look like a severed head at the bottom of the picture?

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Haunted Mansion Holiday makes me happy.

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I think the Santa suit will impress Sally. Jack is sure to get some ragdoll tonight!

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Hellloooooo Castle!

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Those crazy, crazy Japanese!

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One of these is a real pussy.....cat.

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Did we mention that Tokyo Disneyland's Castle is awesome?

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OMG! Now there are two of those hideous creatures! No, no, that's just Rosie O'Donnell.

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OMFG! Minnie looks HOT!

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Where are we at again?

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ZOOM! ZOOM! ZOOM!

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Dave has a thing for duck furries!

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"Hey girls! How much?"

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"Honey, are you sure we can't have Belle come to our room for like an hour? 45 minutes? Oh, who are we kidding...10 minutes TOPS!"

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The castle has it's evil Mickey pumpkin guards.

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And we end this part of the update with this awesome photo of the castle all decked out for it's 25th anniversary!

--Robb
 

robbalvey

Roller Poster
^ Thank you! That was taken by one of the members on our trip. We'll have more Tokyo Disney photos soon!

(Who doesn't love lots of photos of TDR?)

--Robb
 
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